Interviewing A WWE Newbie – Part Two
Last week on Break The Walls Down, the lovely lady who bravely dares to reside in an apartment with me shared her views about her new found appreciation of WWE’s products. As a self-proclaimed WWE Missionary, I have tasked myself with converting her, and everybody else I know, to what I have dubbed the Church of Sports Entertainment. This week, the interview continues as we learn what she thinks kayfabe means, as well as delving into her experiences of seeing wrestling live for the first time ever. So strap in, and enter the mind of a WWE Newbie…
When was the first time you watched a wrestling show live?
Progress. (Progress Wrestling – UK based independent company) I’ve been twice? The first time about two years ago. It doesn’t have as much production value (as WWE). And I didn’t have a seat. I struggled with that. But it still had characters and I didn’t know anyone before I watched it because I couldn’t watch it on TV. The ones I liked on Progress were the aerial performers because I appreciate the gymnastic side of it. I really like the thrill of someone doing something really cool.
Do you think there are WWE shows where you could get invested in people who can do things like that?
Yeh! Are you trying to bribe me to stay up until 1am to watch wrestling with you?
You attended a WWE live event in November. What were your favourite things about it?
I remember the girls because at the time I was bitching about their outfits and how much boob they had out. Now I wouldn’t dare say that because Nikki would kick my ass. And she’s got nice boobs. I’m jealous. And the tag team match. There were a lot of matches in a row that were one man against one man. I think you need variety in any kind of show. It keeps the audience refreshed and suddenly having energy and a lot more people on stage was fun. It was the guys in green and someone in a mask of an animal?
You realise the guys in green were the Usos?
You see I wish I’d known that before I watched the show. I’d’ve got much more excited now I know who they are. And there was a little guy. And matadors.
Los Matadores. And the midget was El Torito.
You can’t call them midgets. That’s politically incorrect. They’re little people. I’m a teacher. Trust me, I know these things.
Do you remember anyone else you saw?
John Cena and Seth Rollins was a really stand out match. You could just see the energy of the crowd went up. I don’t know whether it’s a part celebrity thing. That aura of celebrity can make something more exciting. It was something to do with the complexity of what they’re doing. Maybe it’s the energy. The whole thing is a bit like a pantomime and that’s why, live, you can catch on to it. That was the final match of the show and it was what everything built towards to as the finale piece. You put two headliners on and they’re headliners for a reason.
Who is your favourite male wrestler and why?
John Cena. The woman’s favourite! He’s literally a superhero. He’s got the body of Thor. He doesn’t even look real. I’ve got to know his personality with Nikki on Total Divas. He seems like a genuinely nice guy and he cares a lot about the company. I think he’s a positive guy and I like him a lot. Plus if I can’t watch the Rock I’ve got to have somebody else.
What do you think about the Rock?
The Rock is amazing. I can’t wait for Baywatch. I’m so excited. I literally had to text you in the middle of work when I found out he was doing a Baywatch film. He’s amazing. He’s so amazing that even Disney have booked him. That’s when you know you’ve made it. He’s larger than life. And I remember him from when my step brothers used to watch WWF. I remember him being a crowd favourite. And he’s so nice. And he’s got the best teeth of anybody I’ve ever seen. He’s got Hollywood charm.
So with the male wrestlers, it’s predominantly down to what they look like and that they’re nice?
Yeh. And that they’re charming. Plus it’s a charisma thing. You watch match after match of the guys and loads of them are really good at wrestling but because I don’t know the individual names of the moves for me it’s more their persona I like. On the opposite end of the scale though I really like Seth Rollins because he’s a really good villain. He’s so good at that role. That’s why that match with John Cena and was so good.
What do you know of WWE’s other programmes, outside of Total Divas?
I know that every week they have Raw. “Monday Night Raw!” And they have, what’s that Friday one? Smack something. SMACKDOWN! And they have PPV’s throughout the year that you illegally download!
No I don’t! I pay for them! You have to pay for the WWE Network!
Oh. You pay for it? I thought you just got it on the Playstation for free. Anyway, they have payperviews like Summerslam which is the second biggest one of the year and then Wrestlemania is the biggest one. And there’s Money In The Bank. And Tables, Ladders, Chairs. And there’s some other ones as well. If I thought hard I could do more. And NXT is for the up and coming wrestlers and sometimes the Superstars will go down and have a match there. It’s for people who have been training and they test them out and give them storylines and characters in NXT. Because it’s like the NEXT wrestlers. NXT. Next. And they rise through the ranks and it’s like a hierarchy thing. And then they get a place in WWE. And then someone else will get kicked out of WWE! Because they’re being replaced. There’s only so many people you can pay on the main roster. Poor Nattie.
Why poor Nattie?
Because she’s going to get kicked out soon. She’s been around for a while and there’s new blondes. She’s too old. I don’t think she’s too old, I think she’s fabulous. You get the gist WWE thinks she’s too old.
Who is Brock Lesnar?
He’s the dude that looks like a GI Joe doll come to life. He’s got a buzz cut thing like army hair. He looks like an action man. And he trashed a car and threw chair and it hit someone in the head. And he’s always got quite a red face. I’m not a fan particularly. But he’s very good at wrestling because he stopped the Undertaker’s reign of undefeated wins. And a man in the audience went nuts about it and it went viral on the Internet.
Who is Paul Heyman?
Paul Heyman? Oh he’s the guy that I applauded the other day. He’s so good on a microphone. It was like a monologue and I loved it. I totally believed in what he was saying because he was putting so much enthusiasm into it. And it went completely over the top. It was like five minutes long and by the end of it I would’ve voted for whatever he wanted me to vote for. I just thought he was amazing.
Even though he was talking about Brock Lesnar who you don’t like?
Yeh. He had so much passion. I actually stopped painting my nails because I was really involved. I thought he was brilliant. He was like a cartoon character. More of that please. I like someone who’s good on a microphone. Like Seth Rollins is good on a mic. Maybe that’s why I like John Cena as well. He’s good on a mic too. Sometimes people go on way too long though.
Who is the Undertaker?
The Undertaker has been around forever because he’s undead. And he has a really good entrance where everything goes black and then there’s crazy lights. And he needs to wash his hair. It’s always greasy. And he wears black and has loads of eyeliner. And he’s a legend. But he’s old now so he doesn’t wrestle much.
Who is Triple H?
Triple H is one of the older guys who I remember from when I was little. Has he got blonde hair? No, he’s got no hair any more. Wait, he’s one of the, what do they call them, the ones who are like “it’s good for business” with Stephanie.
Yes. The Authority. I was thinking ‘The Security’ but that’s something else. But he’s married to Stephanie? And they sort of part run the company because Vince McMahon owns it and manages everything and Stephanie is his daughter. So Triple H has been allowed in through marriage. And they’re in charge of the creative stuff and financial stuff and things like that. But he’s hench.
Who is Stephanie McMahon?
Stephanie’s awesome. I love Stephanie. She’s like the headmistress. Whenever the girls fuck something up they have to go and sit down in her office. And my favourite thing about Stephanie McMahon was when she had to listen to all the voicemails that Nattie sent her when she was drunk, saying “Why haven’t I been given a chance to be on the TV?” And then she sent her a voicemail that was meant for TJ about how horny she was and Stephanie couldn’t stop laughing. She’s great. And she had that big feud with Brie and Brie got to slap her which was amazing. She’s hardcore.
Who is Vince McMahon?
He’s the dude in charge. He used to be a wrestler? Didn’t he? He’s like god of WWE. You don’t mess with him.
Who is Kevin Owens?
Oh I don’t like him. You can’t trust people called Kevin. He was in NXT but he’s recently come up to WWE. I don’t like his beard very much. He’s no Daniel Bryan.
What do you think about Daniel Bryan?
YES! YES! YES! (With appropriate hand gestures)
Who is CM Punk?
He’s gone. And he’s married to AJ Lee. I know these things. He’s now, wait for this knowledge, (smugly) he’s now fighting in UFC. Ha ha. You said he’s going to get his ass kicked. But he left the company under a big storyline of saying he didn’t want to fight for them any more for some reason.
Who is Hulk Hogan?
He’s a legend but he’s also a racist porn guy.
Who is Sting?
He returned and it was a big deal. Isn’t he that old guy from the other company you told me about?
Who is Jack Swagger?
I don’t know who he is. Some wrestler? He sounds like he’d be blonde.
Who is Dolph Ziggler?
Oh he’s got bad hair. Hair is an ongoing theme here isn’t it? It’s how I remember people. He is Lana’s fake boyfriend. Because I thought she was actually going out with Rusev in real life. They were recently pictured at Disneyland together, her and Dolph Ziggler, and she’s had an American makeover so that she matches him. But I’ve seen a few of his fights and he’s very good. Very strong.
Do you know what kayfabe means?
Oh, this is when, on social media, wrestlers will start to post things to encourage the general public that a particular storyline is real in real life, even if it might not be true. So if there’s a feud between two people they might start to bitch about each other on twitter.
What is a bump?
When you get bumped up or down? In the hierarchy of the wrestling world?
What is a smark?
That sounds like something horrible. Like a condition. A smark? A smart remark?
It is indeed a horrible condition. What is a powerbomb?
Sounds like a wrestling move. It could be when somebody jumps off a rope like when you bomb in a swimming pool. So you land on another person and make a big splash.
Do you know what a Big Splash is?
It’s pretty much what you just described.
Well at least I knew one of the moves! Sort of.
I think that’s about it. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Actually, yes. I really remember what Cena said about the first series in the talk show after the last episode (of Total Divas). That Total Divas is the first time WWE have let their audience see behind the scenes rather than just the characters. It takes a lot of guts to put your own personality and personal life out there in the world to be discussed and judged. So I respect the Divas for being brave enough to be a little bit vulnerable in that way.
Thank you for your time, and I’ll see you on the sofa on Monday at 1am for Raw?
Thank you for joining us. You can check out the first half of this interview, ‘Break The Walls Down: Interviewing A WWE Newbie – Part One’, by clicking right here.
If you’d like to grill Lottie yourself, about all things WWE, you can, on Twitter @Liberty_Sweet. And she was desperate for me to include a picture of her in her Brie Mode t-shirt doing an impression of the Divas on Instagram. So here it is.
Tags: Break The Walls Down, El Torito, John Cena, paul heyman, seth rollins, The Rock, the usos, Total Divas