Douces Wild: WCW The Great American Bash 1991 Review

greatamericanbashwcwlogo

So, this is the review of the Great American Bash 1991 when I watched it Saturday Night (December 5th) on my 27th Birthday. I had started watching WCW PPVs last year and this is the point I had gotten to. So, since this show is so infamous, I decided to review my experience and my thoughts in watching this show with some play by play (which probably isn’t that long). My ratings system is as follows: I add up the ratings of the match, divide it by the number of matches of the show (since there are 11, I round it up to the tenth, meaning it’s 110) and I get the rating for the show. The ratings are:

80+ (A+) = Perfect show (10 out of 10)

75-79 (A) = As close to perfect without being perfect (9.0/9.5)

70-74 (B+) = Great Show (8.0/8.5)

65-69 (B) = Good Show (7.0/7.5)

60-64 (C+) = Solid Show (6.0/6.5)

55-59 (C) = Average Show (5.5)

50-54 (D) = Mediocre Show (5.0)

49 & Under = Horrible Show (4.5 downward)

If it looks familiar, it’s an ode to DaveyBoy from Lords of Pain, one of the first reviewers and columnists I ever read for wrestling. So, sit down, take a load off and read as me and my buddy, Justin, experienced one of the worst PPVs ever. Warning: there will be some foul language on this review……I was just letting it rip, people.

WCW Great American Bash 1991

7-14-1991

Location: Maryland Arena – Baltimore, MD (7,000)

Commentators: Jim Ross & Tony Schiavone

 

For the 1989 Great American Bash, I wrote the following: “The greatest compliment any PPV could ever be given is the coveted “Greatest PPV Ever” moniker……” That was for a PPV almost two years prior by this same company and it is looked at as one of the greatest wrestling shows ever. Now we find ourselves on the OPPOSITE side of the spectrum with the 1991 Great American Bash……regarded as one of the WORST PPVs in the history of wrestling! I have been dreading this one for a while in some way but I’ve found myself fascinated with viewing this one since I’ve never seen it before and I wanted to see if it truly was as bad as everybody makes it out to be. The big match on the card is a Steel Cage match for the VACATED WCW Title as the #1 Contender, Lex Luger, takes on Barry Windham to determine who will be the new WCW World Heavyweight Champion! And I know EXACTLY what you are asking: WHERE’S RIC FLAIR?!!! All in good time. Sting will take on Nikita Koloff in a Russian Chain Match where the winner must touch all four turnbuckles to win. El Gigante will clash with One Man Gang in a match of not so epic proportions while the Young Pistols team up with Dustin Rhodes to face, you guessed it, the Freebirds AGAIN!! Plus the Rock N’ Roll Express explodes as Robert Gibson takes on his former partner, Richard Morton, while PN News teams with Bobby Eaton to take on Steve Austin and Terrance Taylor in a Scaffold match. Finally, Missy Hyatt teams with Rick Steiner to take on Arn Anderson and Paul E. Dangerously in a Steel Cage match that will hopefully end the feud between Paul and Missy. Whew…….this one is going to be something, ladies and germs, let’s see if this can live up to its reputation or if there is actually a decent card underneath this pile of shit.

Side Note: I watched this show with a buddy of mine, Justin, ON MY BIRTHDAY!! We got pizza, beer, Pepsi and cigarettes to help us out and neither of us have ever seen this show before. May God help us. To pass the time, we tried to do a mullet count…….we got up to about 20 before we lost count.

Opening Match: Tag Team Scaffold Match: “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton & PN News vs “Stunning” Steve Austin (WCW TV Champion) w/Lady Blossom & Terrance Taylor

So, Austin and Eaton had been feuding on house shows and during the Great American Bash Tour up to this point over the TV Title after Austin defeated Eaton, in only his second match (technically), for the belt. I guess Taylor and News had problems so hence this match. Now Dusty is booking this show so he decided to go a little overboard with gimmicks and gimmick matches, hence why we have a scaffold match in the opening match. Usually, the only way to win was to throw your opponents off the scaffold but now they’ve added Capture The Flag rules because……well…….NOBODY WANTED TO GET THROWN OFF THIS FUCKING SCAFFOLD!!! Plus, the platform they are on is not that wide and not that sturdy so this should be interesting.

Somehow, the 400+ PN News is able to get his ass up that scaffold. And the match……well……WHAT MATCH?!!! Austin and Taylor look scared out of their wits, News barely even leaves his side of the scaffold while Eaton is the only one who looks comfortable up there because he’s been in 2 of them. I mean these guys spend the entire match basically trying not to fall……at least the other Scaffold Matches had SOME action in them and had some spectacle…….this is just NOTHING! Austin almost falls off the damn thing (you can see Eaton making sure he doesn’t fall) and just imagine if the hottest wrestler of the 90s had fallen off the Scaffold and had his career ended before he was a major name. We get the first great shot of this show: Lady Blossom bouncing up and down. Tony explains that the wood is safer on the body than the steel platform…..however, it is less sturdy. Eaton just casually grabs the flag and makes his way over to his side of the scaffold……um……did he win? Bobby then walks back so that Austin could spray the faces with hair spray and the match keeps happening until……Gary Michael Cappetta announces that Eaton and News win????? WHAT THE FUCK?!!! So……I guess…..BOBBY EATON & PN NEWS GET THE WIN AT 7:29!! There was no ending bell whatsoever and I think everybody just wanted to get the fuck off that damn thing as quickly as possible.

Crater rating: 1.0 out of 10. The worst opening contest I have ever seen in my years as a wrestling fan. Wow……this show just comes right out of the blocks with sucking a dick!!!! I mean…..it doesn’t even wait to start anally raping you……it just does it! No dinner, no kissing, no gentleness…….just straight PLOWING!!! I mean……people……STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN IS INVOLVED IN THIS MATCH AND IT’S THIS BAD!!!!!! Those four just looked like they did not want to be up there and I don’t blame them one bit. I don’t know why they just didn’t do a tag team match or just have Austin and Eaton tear the house down to open the show…….they literally picked the worst possible choice to open this match with! I mean it was just so BOOOOOOORRRRRRING!!!! And we didn’t even really get a finish all that much……the match just ended and everybody was like “Well…..ok, let’s move on!”

Eaton and News kick the heels’ asses afterwards to give the fans some enjoyment.

Tony, I shit you not, looks like a young Donald Trump with that hair! They discuss the vacate WCW Title situation and they say that this will create a new era for WCW (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Well……they aren’t lying).

We then get the official WCW PPV debut of ERIC BISCHOFF as he interviews Paul E. Dangerously and Arn Anderson. Arn…….does not look happy whatsoever and honestly, I can’t blame him. Paul calls Missy a slut and vows that she will be done after this. Arn pretty much vows to beat the crap out of Rick Steiner and vows to rape Missy if she sticks her nose in their business.

Jim and Tony waste more time by going over the card.

Match 2: The Z-Man vs The Diamond Studd w/Diamond Dallas Page

The girl DDP gets to rip off Studd’s tights is pretty hot but she’s sent packing instantly. On paper, this looks to be one of Studd’s first real tests in WCW since he’s taking on Tom Zenk…….who is a jobber but he’s big and popular enough to actually give Studd a run for his money.

Zenk instantly makes this match better than the last one by leaping over the top rope INTO A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE ON STUDD AND DDP!!! Zenk gets off to a hot start against Studd until DDP low bridges the top rope on Zenk to turn the advantage into Studd’s corner. Studd blasts Zenk from behind on the floor and sends him up and over the guardrail into the front row. These two are basically the same size but apparently, Scott Hall has the size advantage. Zenk comes back with a crossbody but it doesn’t take long for Studd to regain control and while this match is technically 10X better than the opener……it’s still boring as hell because I could give two flying turds about Zenk and Hall is still VERY green at this point. Weak looking Chokeslam by Studd and that’s followed up with a butt fuck ugly super kick from Zenk. DDP interferes so Zenk drags him into the ring and gives him an even WORSE Super Kick than the one he gave Studd (the sight of DDP having to sell it is pretty funny) and Studd hits the bridging back suplex, 1……..2…….3 AND THE DIAMOND STUDD GETS THE WIN AT 6:57!!

Crater rating: 4.5 out of 10. Like I said…..it was better than the opener but the match was still very sloppy and boring. Yea……we’re in for a long night, folks. This match…..wasn’t very good. It wasn’t horrible for most of it, just very basic with mostly kicks and punches. Hall was still green at this point and Zenk wasn’t the guy to get a good match out of him so this was what you would expect. The final few minutes were actually very sloppy, ugly and just bleh…..Tom Zenk was just a joke by this point and you could tell that Hall had the better upswing at this point. At least DDP was starting to take some bumps, showing that his wrestling training was going to begin, which is good but other than that, bleh match.

Jim and Tony discuss the next match.

Match 3: Ron Simmons vs Oz w/The Great Wizard

Yes, we are following up that previous match with Faarooq vs Kevin Nash……OH JOY!! Simmons was in the middle of his big push up the card so basically, they had given up on the Oz character and they were about to feed Nash to Simmons. And yes…..just like Zenk was not the right guy to make Hall look good……Nash is just NOT the right guy to make Simmons look good.

I think Ross has that Barry Switzer story about Simmons memorized for every single Ron Simmons match he gets to see…..I’m surprised he didn’t tell that story when Simmons was entered into the Hall of Fame! The crowd is VERY silent for this one and it doesn’t take long for this match to be a sloppy mess because Oz just can’t do anything right, including fucking up a basic drop toe hold. After two horrible tries, Simmons finally clotheslines Oz outside and Oz calls for a test of strength. No offense but…..Hogan and Warrior can get away with a very long test of strength build up and payoff that has the crowd in raptures……Oz and Ron Simmons can’t. The match gets even sloppier and boring as Nash just isn’t very good in the ring as he works over Simmons’ lower back with horrible offense. Sidewalk slam gets 2 and Simmons gets tossed outside for a cheap shot from the Great Wizard. Simmons runs through Oz with football tackles, decks Wizard and hits the flying tackle, 1…….2……3 AND RON SIMMONS GETS THE WIN AT 7:56!!

Crater rating: 4.0 out of 10. This was even worse than Studd/Zenk due to Kevin Nash purely sucking but it did keep Simmons rolling. So much for Oz! This was it for the Oz gimmick as Nash would eventually get a makeover heading into the next year and honestly, I’m not upset. The match sucked, Nash sucked, Simmons needs to be with a better opponent to be carried to something good……this was just all around bad! Oz could barely hit anything clean and while the final flurry from Simmons was ok, the finish came out of nowhere and honestly, Oz was treated like a jobber here after being built up for so long. So yes, let us please move on from this debacle of a match.

We get the WCW Top 10:

  1. Johnny B. Badd
  2. Ron Simmons

8.Diamond Studd

  1. El Gigante
  2. Arn Anderson
  3. Bobby Eaton
  4. Steve Austin
  5. Sting
  6. Barry Windham
  7. Lex Luger

Match 4: Robert Gibson vs Richard Morton w/Alexandra York

THE ROCK N’ ROLL EXPRESS EXPLODES!!! After Robert Gibson suffered an injured knee late in 1990, Morton went out on his own to compete in WCW, occasionally teaming with Tommy Rich. However, Morton joined the York Foundation at Clash 15 and turned on Gibson later in the show to set this match up. So there’s two problems here: 1) the fans really don’t care about Robert Gibson and 2) Morton just looks like plain ol’ Ricky Morton….except he’s a bad guy and his name is Richard now…..even down to the RNR Express tights!

The fight breaks out on the ramp to kick things off and Morton stalls early on. Gibson dominates Morton when he’s not stalling and yea…..this isn’t very exciting whatsoever, even Tony points out how this match is wasting time! Morton eventually goes to work on Gibson’s injured knee and that’s basically the next 10-12 minutes of the match: Morton working over Gibson’s knee with some mild Gibson comebacks in between. The crux of this is Morton’s horribly loose Figure Four that is just flat out sad…..these two are literally just sitting in the middle of the ring with their legs crossed! Gibson eventually hits the DDT but he can’t make the full comeback due to his injured knee. Like…..the psychology makes sense but that is just not what these fans want to see between two known for fast paced innovative offense. Gibson slams Morton off the top rope and Gibson sort of makes the comeback. They brawl on the ramp until both guys go for dropkicks at the same time. York literally has to run through the ring to get to the other side to distract the referee so that Morton can grab the computer!! Morton leaps off the top with a computer shot to the shoulder, 1…….2……3 AND RICHARD MORTON GETS THE WIN AT 17:03!

Crater rating: 4.5 out of 10. The psychology made sense but there was no intensity, no fire and the finish was complete bullshit after the match wasted almost 15 minutes of time on leg work! God…..what a train wreck! When you hear about the RNR Express, you think fast paced action! You’d think that with these two fighting each other, we would get that. This match just went to show that sometimes, tag team partners fighting each other does not always mean it will translate into a good singles match. The Hardyz found this out, the Dudleyz found this out, Edge & Christian didn’t set the world on fire, the Rockers found this out……it just never works. This match was just BOOOOOOORRRRRRING!! I mean, it makes sense as to why Morton would go after the leg but good God man, DO SOMETHING TO MAKE THE MATCH INTERESTING!!! The problem is that the fans are more into Morton than Gibson because it was Morton who always created emotion for their matches……now you have Morton as the heel, forcing Gibson into the uncomfortable situation of having to carry the emotion and he failed. The finish pisses me off because after 15 minutes of leg work, Morton wins by hitting Gibson with the computer in one of the worst weapon shots I’ve ever seen. This match was LITERALLY a waste of time and quite honestly, it deserves to be rated this poorly because it was BAD people!

Eric Bischoff interviews the Young Pistols and Dustin Rhodes.

Match 5: Six Man Tag Team Elimination match: The Young Pistols & Dustin Rhodes vs The Fabulous Freebirds & Badstreet (United States & Six Man Tag Team Champions) w/Big Daddy Dink

Yes, it’s ANOTHER Young Pistols/Freebirds match in this feud that will never die (they have fought I don’t know how many times since 1990). However, adding Dustin and Badstreet to the equation might help this out a little bit. This has the potential of digging this show out of this whole of fucking shit that this show.

At the very least, the Freebirds are able to get some kind of a reaction out of this dying crowd. Obviously, the Freebirds stall for decades until Hayes and Dustin kick things off. Dustin cleans house early on and sends the heels scurrying to the floor because he’s the booker’s son you see……and the Freebirds stall some more. The heels land some cheap shots and that forces the babyfaces to send them packing out of the ring for the usual face cleanup spot. We get MORE stalling (we are BEGGING this show to quit fucking stalling) and we do get one good spot as Steve pops Badstreet (his brother, Brad) with a flying clothesline off the top! Badstreet low bridges Smothers out of the ring and Dink lands a pretty solid looking clothesline. Smothers plays face in peril as Hayes keeps cutting off his comebacks with that left jab of his and this match also becomes boring (stalling, shit, boring…..key words for this event). Hayes decides to apply a Sleeper because THAT’S WHAT THIS SHOW NEEDS!!! Garvin one ups him with a chin lock that Smothers doesn’t even bother to really sell (he just looks…..annoyed more than anything…..which I understand because Garvin is annoying)……even worse is TONY SCHIAVONE points out that the chin lock isn’t even phasing Smothers and this was during Tony’s GOOD years. Smothers avoids the DDT and gets the not so hot tag to Armstrong, who cleans house. The match breaks down as the Pistols clean house and Armstrong tries to unmask his brother but Hayes cuts him off, DOUBLE DDT!!! 1…….2……3 AND STEVE ARMSTRONG HAS BEEN ELIMINATED AT 14:44!!

Hayes back drops Smothers over the top rope and OOPS!! MICHAEL HAYES HAS BEEN DISQUALIFIED AND ELIMINATED AT 14:52!!

Badstreet works over Smothers but Dink distracts the ref so that he can’t see the tag to Dustin, DOUBLE DDT!!! 1……..2…….3 AND TRACY SMOTHERS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED AT 16:21!!!

LARIAT BY DUSTIN ON GARVIN!!!! 1……2……3 AND JIMMY GARVIN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED AT 16:29!!

We are down to the booker’s son vs a lowly jobber…..take a guess who has the advantage. Badstreet works over Dustin, who should not be tired whatsoever at this point. We get some miscommunication but Badstreet leaps off the top into a gut shot, LARIAT!! Dink distracts the ref and Badstreet kicks out at 2, RUNNING BULLDOG WITH A DROPKICK ON DINK!!! 1…….2……3 AND THE YOUNG PISTOLS AND DUSTIN RUNNELS GET THE WIN AT 18:04!!!

Crater rating: 5.0 out of 10. Best match up to this point……but that’s not saying much. Well, Dusty’s boy wins again! Tell me if this makes sense: you have a 15 minute match…..followed up with about 3+ minutes of eliminations. The match was pretty boring for most of it with some nice snippets of action but it was all just built up to put over Dustin once again. I am DONE with the Young Pistols vs the Freebirds because there is just nothing else these two teams can do against each other that can make me interested. This is one of their worst matches against each other and honestly, the Young Pistols are done, the Freebirds are beyond done and I’m just tired of it. Dustin was still very green at this point but he did solid in there and like I said, this was the best match up to this point but that doesn’t take away from the fact that this match should not have been 18 minutes long with a FLURRY of eliminations at the end to make up for it.

Match 6: Yellow Dog vs Johnny B. Badd w/Teddy Long

Yellow Dog is Brian Pillman underneath a mask……think the Mr. America gimmick from 2003. Badd looks like he just fell asleep in the tanning bed…….no wonder my friend accused him of wearing black face! Oh and this is Mero at his “I’M FLAMBOYANT” height here. On the surface, Pillman’s awesome and Badd is decent so this should be decent.

Great moment on the show: THE FEED CUTS OUT!!! No literally, on the WWE Network, the feed cuts out of the show. Even the fans know it’s Pillman underneath the mask…..speaking of them, they are sadly just dead for this. Great dropkick by Dog and then he slaps THE MAN out of Badd…….but I think Badd would take that as a compliment. Badd and Long hug it out on the floor (although I think Teddy preferred flirting with actual ladies years later) but Dog does a sloppy crucifix into a sunset flip for 2. Dog dropkicks Badd’s head into Long’s but Badd BLASTS Dog with a clothesline on the floor in one of the better spots of the night! Badd barely even gets out of the way on a crossbody attempt but he does hit a nice flying sunset flip off the top for 2. Badd slows things down even further with a chin lock but Dog counters with a jawbreaker. Tootie Fruitie Punch misses, RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX BY PILLMAN!! Running wheel kick by Dog (my buddy marks out for JR calling it a “karate kick”) and Dog hits a flying crossbody off the top but Teddy Long attacks Pillman AND YELLOW DOG GETS THE WIN BY DISQUALIFICATION AT 5:58!! Badd hits the Tootie Fruitie Punch but Dog doesn’t really sell it whatsoever.

Crater rating: 5.5 out of 10. Ok, THIS is the best match so far with some decent spots but it’s also very sloppy and boring. God, not even BRIAN PILLMAN can save this show!! Despite the fact that Mero would get much better and Pillman is Pillman but Mero was still very green and that led to sloppiness. There were some good moves in this one but for the most part, it’s just boring and sloppy at points. I didn’t like either gimmick because these two, on their own, could have delivered something solid but NOPE!!! Not even these two could pull this show out of the doldrums and that’s sad people. Like nobody even wants to try hard at all whatsoever to save this show……that’s horrible.

Eric Bischoff tries to interview Missy Hyatt in the shower but she gets scared and throws him out because he’s a skeezy, creepy pervert (it is a nice precursor to Bischoff’s skeezy RAW character years later).

Match 7: Lumberjack Match: Big Josh vs Black Blood w/Kevin Sullivan

You see…..Big Josh is a lumberjack so he’s wrestling in his style of match: A LUMBERJACK MATCH!!! GET IT?!!!! Black Blood is Billy Jack Haynes in an Executioner’s mask and looking a little more out of shape than he was during his heyday when he was RIPPED!! Yes, it’s ANOTHER gimmick match on this show featuring stupid gimmicks.

Blood tosses Josh outside a few times to establish that the heels are bad guys and will attack……while the babyfaces play by the rules. Josh does make a comeback until these two start chopping each other to set up the Log Roll! I will say this: these two are bringing energy and are hitting each other pretty hard. Blood drops Josh face first onto the top buckle in a decent spot and Josh gets knocked outside, setting up the lumberjacks to get into an argument. The lumberjacks start fighting, giving the crowd something to cheer for, but then they just……stop fighting. Josh and Blood continue to brawl so the lumberjacks fight again for no reason as Blood drops Josh on his head with a back suplex. Blood grabs his toy ax but Dustin hits him in the leg with the ax handle, SMALL PACKAGE, 1…….2……3 AND BIG JOSH GETS THE WIN AT 5:40!!

Crater rating: 4.5 out of 10. The match is not very good because the fans really didn’t care about the action in the ring, they just cared about the lumberjacks. Looks like DA DWEAM needed his son to be the hero again! Yea, both of these guys are solid but honestly, this match was a mess because the fans didn’t care and the lumberjacks took away from the match. This show is just DYING at this point.

Match 8: El Gigante vs One Man Gang w/Kevin Sullivan

This was after Gang’s run in the WWF as Akeem, the African Dream. You can tell he lost some weight too! Bischoff interviews Sullivan and Sullivan cuts a pretty stupid promo that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. And do I REALLY need to mention El Gigante? Gigante did get his head shaved by the Horsemen and he comes into this match with midgets……yes, midgets.

The midgets attack Gang until Sullivan just shoves one of them away…..because the midget was taller than him. Gigante “dominates” Gang with horrible looking offense until Gang avoids a corner charge. Gigante’s selling is so hilariously awful, it could be compared to The Room in terms of hilarity! Sullivan looks like a fat midget between these two as Gang horribly dominates Gigante with “offense”. 747! Gigante sort of throws Gang off to the floor but Gigante does slam him off the top and makes the “comeback”. UGLY SUPLEX!!! Gigante crotches Sullivan and hits a noggin knocker on the two before grabbing the Claw on Sullivan. Gang breaks it up and he has some salt but Gigante kicks the powder into Gang’s eyes, almost trips in the ropes and hits an ugly clothesline, 1…….2……3 AND EL GIGANTE GETS THE WIN AT 6:14!!

Crater rating: 2.0 out of 10. Gigante’s selling is the ONLY thing that makes this match more enjoyable than the opener……that’s about it. *Jared and Justin chug beers to try and get through this show*. Justin and I had to step out for a smoke break after this because God…..this show. I’ve heard about it’s epic badness but this is really, REALLY horrible. I mean, there are no fucks given whatsoever on this show to make it decent. My friend and I compared it to Michael Hayes’ left jab: every time it seemed that this show would give us SOMETHING, that left jab would hit us and this show would suck some more. I found Gigante’s selling hilarious but that’s about it. This match massively sucked a dick and I just did not expect this show to suck as massively as it does…..I underestimated this show’s ability to just suck. I mean……I’m beginning to run out of ways to say how much this show sucks. We have three matches left……..three matches too many in my opinion.

Match 9: Russian Chain Match: Sting vs Nikita Koloff

We get a video package to highlight this feud. At Clash XV, Sting and Nikita faced each other and Sting won with a roll up after multiple attacks by Koloff with the Russian Chain so that’s what sets up this match. The rules are simple: the first person to touch all four top turnbuckles will get the win.

We get some trash talk before Sting runs Nikita into the buckles and the fight spills to the floor. Sting drops Nikita on the guardrail and dominates the early going of this match. Sting chokes Nikita with the chain but Nikita stops Sting after he touches two buckles and hits a clothesline. Sting continues to dominate the match, including pulling him into the ring post with the chain. Nikita finally gains control with his slow, methodical approach and while this match hasn’t been bad, but it hasn’t been exciting either. Sting low blows Nikita with the chain then even rakes the eyes to put over how much he doesn’t like Nikita. Nikita touches three buckles but Sting stops him from touching the fourth one to save the match. They lock up and they start rolling into the buckles to touch them as things start getting sloppy, LOW BLOW BY NIKITA!! LOW BLOW BY STING!! They both touch the third buckle and they continue to battle to get to that fourth buckle. RUSSIAN SICKLE!! They both struggle over and they both touch it BUT THE REFEREE GIVES IT TO NIKITA AND NIKITA KOLOFF GETS THE WIN AT 11:38!! They brawl some more until Sting low blows Nikita with the chain AGAIN….with the fucking nut shots in this match, I swear!

Crater rating: 5.0 out of 10. The match wasn’t very exciting, the finish was stupid and this match was not really that intense or violent as the feud made it out to be. If we aren’t getting shit matches, we damn sure are getting shit finishes! Talk about another disappointing match where two guys are just phoning it in and not really giving a shit whatsoever. They tried but honestly……these two couldn’t save this disaster. I liked the feud between these two but they didn’t have good chemistry in the ring, they were quite sloppy against each other and they just aren’t that enjoyable to watch in the ring. The finish was stupid because it was another Dusty finish where it looks like the babyface won only for the heel to get awarded the victory……this show has been filled with these types of finishes. Two matches left, people…….two matches left.

Jim and Tony spend a good while talking about this match as they set up the cage.

Match 10: Steel Cage Match for the Vacant WCW World Title: Lex Luger (United States Champion) vs Barry Windham

So……why is Ric Flair not on this show and not in this match? Well, Flair decided to resign and was willing to take a pay cut……however, Herd wanted Flair to take an even bigger pay cut and that didn’t sit very well with Flair. Herd also wanted Flair to cut his hair, wear an earring, put on a gladiator outfit and become Spartacus because…….get this……Herd thought that RIC FLAIR was no longer a draw!! WOW!! Flair said “fuck you”, Herd said, “FUCK ME?!! YOU’RE FIRED!!!” Yes, Jim Herd FIRED THE NATURE BOY, RIC FLAIR!!!!! Well, Flair said, “Guess what? I’m still the champion and I’m not giving your belt back, BITCH!!!” So Flair took the belt with him to the WWF because he never got his deposit back and now WCW was without a title. They did have a #1 contender in Luger…..but no opponent. So they picked Barry Windham for…..well……reasons (Muta would have probably made more sense if they hadn’t had blown off the Luger/Muta match at the previous Clash). And they made the Western Heritage States Title the WCW Title for this show because they had no belt. This whole show has been so full of FAIL……all due to Jim Herd, like a fucking moron, firing Ric Flair. It’s sad too: this was supposed to be Luger’s shining moment, just like Sting the year before…….and now, it’s completely ruined. It also sucks because this a big match between former Tag Team champions. The fans waste ZERO time in chanting “WE WANT FLAIR!!!”

These two remain quite even in the early going until Windham hits a dropkick. These two continue to exchange moves while the fans just sit on their hands or chant for Flair. These two exchange blows and Windham appears to be frustrating Luger as he pops out of the headscissors and BLASTS Luger with a right hand! Luger blocks a suplex and hits one of his own before he escapes a Figure Four attempt. The problem here is that these two are TOO cautious……they need to get out of the blocks and try to save this dead crowd. Atomic drop by Luger before he catches Windham in the Sleeper! Windham escapes and catches Luger in the Sleeper right back before Luger runs him head first into the middle buckle, DDT GETS 2!! Windham slams Luger off the top rope, FLYING ELBOW DROP MISSES!! Luger makes the comeback with a flurry of clotheslines for 2 and Luger’s getting frustrated. POWERSLAM!! The crowd is starting to get into this one, TORTURE RACK!!!! Windham kicks off the cage to escape the hold and lands a nice belly to back suplex! Luger sits Windham up top but Windham shoves Luger down to the mat, BEAUTIFUL FLYING LARIAT!!!! Luger no sells, RUNNING LARIAT!! Windham heads up top and hits a flying marital arts kick off the top for 2! Here comes Harley Race and Mr. Hughes and Race tells Luger to do it now AND LUGER BLINDSIDES WINDHAM!!! HEEL TURN!!!! PILEDRIVER!!!! 1……..2……..3 AND LEX LUGER GETS THE WIN AT 12:26 TO BECOME THE NEW WCW WORLD CHAMPION!!! I don’t think the fans realize that Luger turned heel……until Race raises his hand and Luger walks off with him.

Crater rating: 6.0 out of 10. Match of the Night but the heel turn leaves a sour taste in the mouth and quite honestly, that sums up this show perfectly. Wow……after everything on this show…..they still go with the heel turn. The match itself was fine but disappointing…..you’d expect these two to go out there and try to do SOMETHING to save this show. They tried, I’ll give them that, but they went the cautious route for too long, didn’t kick into another gear until later in the match and the heel turn ruined a lot of their momentum. Luger turning heel was fucking ridiculous……it was just there for WCW to run Luger as the top heel in Flair’s place since Flair was no longer there. It makes sense because they had no top heels……but this was Luger’s shining moment and they do this to him! The whole thing just came off wrong and quite honestly, Luger’s title reign didn’t recover whatsoever from it……he felt like a Flair imitator and since he never beat Flair for the belt, it didn’t feel like he really won anything whatsoever. Windham turned face after this and teamed with Dustin Rhodes to form a good tag team but this was about it for him as a singles star for the most part. Like I said, the match is the best match of the night but even then, it’s still nothing special whatsoever and the heel turn was stupid.

Main Event: Mixed Tag Team Steel Cage Match: Missy Hyatt & Rick Steiner vs Paul E. Dangerously & Arn Anderson

Yes, they chose THIS match to close out the show with!!! I guess they wanted to send the fans home happy with a babyface victory since they screwed the fans by turning Luger heel. Arn still doesn’t look like he gives much of a fuck…..just like everybody else on this show. Rick is going at it alone without Scott due to Scott tearing his bicep and Missy dyed her hair dark brown for this one……she does look hot here.

The Hardliners run out to kidnap Missy, leaving Rick by himself. We get MORE stalling on this show with less than five minutes left. Rick catches Arn on a leapfrog with a powerslam but Arn stops Rick from going after Paul. Paul comes off the top rope with a shot on Rick then Arn takes one of the cowboy boots from Paul. Arn leaps off the ropes into a Steinerline and Rick traps Paul to give him a body slam, STEINERLINE!! 1…….2……3 AND RICK STEINER GETS THE WIN AT 2:09!!

Crater rating: 3.0 out of 10. It did have Paul getting his ass kicked but the best thing about this match was Missy’s slutty look and she was gone before the match! Let’s end this fucking thing! Yes, the match was nothing, Missy wasn’t even involved whatsoever (making this match pointless) and Rick Steiner is a dick. I’m done, I’m done, I’M FUCKING DONE!!!! It did have some funny Jim Ross jabs at Paul.

 

45/110 = 41

 

According to the show, I have given WCW Great American Bash 1991 a 41, an F, a 3.5 out of 10 and this is a horrible show. Yes…….ladies and gentlemen……BELIEVE THE HYPE!!! This show is like a rite of passage: if you’re a wrestling fan, you have to see it at least once. It’s just like Wrestlemania X-7, just like the ’89 Bash, just like Canadian Stampede and just like MITB 2011…….only the opposite! Words……columns……BOOKS have been written about this show and how bad this thing was. This was a colossal embarrassment for this company, a colossal failure of a show on every single thing about it. The matches were horrible, the finishes were horrible, the booking was horrible, the decision making was horrible……there is nothing good or worth rewatching on this show. It really makes you think about how much of this card was truly affected by Flair’s firing……I know they were running WarGames matches during most of the tour in the main events and running matches like Austin/Eaton for the TV Title, which they could have done here, but it’s just amazing how shitty this show is all due to one guy being fired. It also shows you where the WWE was at and where WCW was at: the WWF was able to still flourish without Hogan in a few months (to the point where Hogan felt like a dinosaur) while WCW’s initial first few months without Flair were really horrible. It also showed that Herd and Dusty needed to go and they were just not getting it done anymore……Herd’s ego screwed the pooch here and Dusty’s booking was entirely counter-productive to what they needed to do to survive for this show.

I mean, it’s just not that the matches are horrible, it’s that EVERYTHING about them was horrible. What the fuck are you doing in having a Scaffold match open the show when you could have just settled for a simple tag team match if you wanted PN News and Terrance Taylor on the card (they weren’t needed but whatever)? I could live with the Studd/Zenk and Oz/Simmons matches because matches like that constantly happened on WCW PPVs…….on this show though, they really stand out because you want something better and more exciting and have to settle for these two shit matches. The Morton/Gibson match was……disappointing is an understatement, it was a boring train wreck and it killed both men’s singles pushes. The Six Man Tag was watchable but just barely…….the fact that THAT match is one of the better matches of the card says a lot. Dog/Badd is ok but even those two couldn’t produce something worthwhile, the same thing could be said about the Lumberjack match. Gigante/Gang…..what else can I say about it???? Sting/Nikita was disappointing, Luger/Windham was disappointing and the main event was such a bullshit bait and switch that it was quite frankly insulting. The booking was also horrible: the opener ended without people knowing that one team had one, a heel winning thanks to his manager, a heel winning with a foreign object, a babyface overcoming a cheating manager twice, babyface interference, a babyface winning due to powder, a shady finish in a Chain match, a heel turn in the title match and the main event not really happening the way it should have due to bullshit……the best looking character on this show was, unsurprisingly, Dustin Rhodes because he was booked strongly.

I tried very hard to come into this show with low expectations and an open mind. I knew about this show’s reputation and was hoping that maybe SOMETHING on here would surprise me or be better than expected……that sadly did not happen. This whole show was a Michael Hayes left jab to the face……just when you think something good would happen, BAM!! MORE BULLSHIT!!! I have not seen a WWE PPV this bad before…..and I’ve seen King of the Ring 1995!! My buddy and I had fun watching and mocking this show but it’s a depressing experience……however, it’s one that I believe wrestling fans should take. Whenever someone says, “Man that PPV was the worst PPV ever!!!”, I can proudly say, “I’ve seen Bash ’91……your argument is invalid.” I mean, the only show, the ONLY show, that is honestly just as bad or worse than this is probably Heroes of Wrestling from 1999. I mean, the fact that this show still holds up in his infamy over 14 year later is quite honestly insane and while I know that WCW has some shit years down the stretch, it’s gonna be VERY hard to top this one. I hope everyone enjoyed this review and while I can certainly say that this show sucks, I’m proud to have reviewed it, proud to have lived it…….but I will NEVER watch this show again.