8 Of The Funniest Mistakes WWE Have Made For Wrestlemania 32
It’s been a strange old Wrestlemania build this year. With things very much focused on Roman Reigns being the new poster child, every other bout has been hastily thrown together, presumably thanks to an injury list longer than Jericho’s 1004 holds. That’s not to say that some of the matches won’t be great, particularly the Lesnar v Ambrose fight, and I’m looking forward to the night regardless because at the end of the day, it’s Wrestle FRICKIN Mania. See here! However, there are some hilariously glaring errors on WWE’s part for the biggest show of the year that are worth laughing at. So let’s have a giggle.
NXT Takeover Is Arguably A Better Card
I mean, the title of this paragraph says it all. It’s not a better card just because of the wrestlers per say, but because of the storytelling. The way the title matches have been booked leaves both contenders and current champions as viable winners so it’s far more difficult to predict the outcome. And that’s awesome. There are two in ring debuts. That’s awesome. Wrestlemania has an unloved babyface title contender, a clusterfuck Battle Royal, and a Total Divas 5 on 5 in which Summer Rae, Lana and Eva Marie are “wrestling”. Hilarious.
Eva Marie Is A Face
Surely this confirms with absolute certainty that Creative pay zero attention to NXT. As hot as she may be, Eva Marie is booed out of every building she enters because of her void of talent. NXT bookers actually listened to the crowd and were forced to turn her heel. This passionate hatred could be a decent commodity on the main roster, and indeed Wrestlemania. Her NXT title match with Bayley was a great example. A simple and effective story where her stellar heat was utilised to elevate Bayley with great effect. And yet, at Wrestlemania, she’s added to the face team with 6 days to go. Hilarious.
The Tag Titles Are Off The Line
The New Day have dusted off the Freebird Rule and are inducting the Freebirds themselves into the Hall Of Fame. Then they will face four men in a tag match the very next night. Why aren’t the titles on the line in what could easily be billed as a Freebird Match? It makes total sense. How has not a single person with any power backstage thought of that? Hilarious.
The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
See the aforementioned clusterfuckery. Granted, it could be fun to see a bunch of the all but forgotten Superstars get a pay day, but having this match so close to the Rumble is bizarre. After Big Show’s pointless win last year and subsequent 11 months of ignoring the victory, as lovely as the Memorial is in theory, it’s a mess. If it serves to elevate a talent properly then great, but it’s already gone the way of the recent King Of The Ring tournaments and been an all but fruitless venture. They’ve hyped Kane and Big Show’s random union, and, amazingly, The Social Outcasts. Hilarious.
No Sami Zayn / Kevin Owens One On One
The NXT feud between Zayn and Owens was a lesson in how to build a wrestling match. Citing their history; their friendship; the weaving of their individual personalities together; the no nonsense bad ass prize fighter and the plucky hardworking underdog; the in ring psychology… It had it all, except for one thing. A resolution. And that could’ve come at Wrestlemania. The way it is, they’re in a match together and can be kept apart enough to rebuild the feud and they’ll surely have the big match, or even a bunch of big matches, in the year or years to come. Who’d’ve thought Owens and Zayn would face each other at Wrestlemania… Alongside 5 other men… Hilarious.
The Intercontinental Title Ladder Match
It’s a multi man ladder match. There’ll be some awesome spots, but this wreaks of last minute planning. Zack Ryder’s addition is baffling and highlights the amount of wounded soldiers in the company. Neville would’ve been a welcome addition but broke his ankle, Sin Cara is a danger to himself let alone anyone else and Sami Zayn has just recovered from a nasty injury that could be worryingly reaggravated in such a high impact match, especially considering his involvement in a big one days before. And if WWE really think that their audience believe Ryder, Stardust, Sin Cara or even the Miz could win the title at this point, they’re beautifully deluded. Hilarious,
Ryback. Is. Garbage. The only people that chant “Feed Me More” along with him are obese gluttons or lost and confused fans of Sir Thomas More. His recent gimmick change to Goldberg impersonator is remarkably naive, or maybe he’s just trolling us. There’s the genuine worry he’ll irrevocably break Kalisto in the feud that no-one asked for, wanted or even believed could happen. The US Title match should definitely have been the ladder match with the bunch of participants, as Kalisto could’ve pinballed off everyone like he did at TLC and Ryback’s influence would’ve been thankfully diluted. How did WWE not realise this? Hilarious.
The Undertaker is the Deadman. The Demon of Death Valley. The Phenom. An uncontrollable monster who can summon lightning and rise from the dead. The last remaining vestige of gimmicked antiquity. So how in the hell can you explain him representing Vince McMahon at the bosses whim? 20 years of character work dictates that the Undertaker would saunter down the ramp, Tombstone McMahon and saunter off again. The later added stipulation of it being Taker’s last Wrestlemania if he loses added a semblance of credence, but it still makes zero storyline sense. If Taker had at first laid out the boss and refused, fine. Or if Vince had brought out the urn and therefore had control of the Undertaker in a nostalgic throwback, fine. As it stands… Hilarious.
Tags: Break The Walls Down, Eva Marie, Kevin Owens, New Day, NXT, ryback, sami zayn, Sin Cara, Takeover, undertaker, VInce McMahon, wrestlemania 32, zack ryder