We’ve arrived at the last episode of season one of Flaked, and boy howdy all I can say is may god save us from any more seasons of this shlock. The season finale was a finale in name only and utter garbage in almost all other respects. It looks like the writers are trying to set up for season two, but they will gave a hard time of it on account of the fact that this show clearly hates its viewers. How else could you explain the awful storytelling and nonsensical character actions? This whole season has been bereft of consequence, so it makes sense the finale would be too. I just didn’t expect to feel so sour about it.

Here are some thoughts.

1. Wally Pfister can’t save this train wreck

Mr. Pfister (which is immensely fun to say) knows how to make a pretty picture. He’s good at cinematography. There’s a montage early on of Chip and London spending the day in bed together and it’s shot very nicely. Sun soaked and shining. But it’s just the polish on a turd as far as I’m concerned. This episode, this whole season really, has been a meandering mess, and making it look pretty doesn’t save it.

2. It was entirely unclear that Tilly went for the deal

At the end of the last episode, Venice had been “saved” because the real estate developer decided not to build. It wasn’t clear exactly why this happened until this episode where Dennis had to ask Chip, “Well, gee golly willikers, Chip! How’d you get the fancy hotel people not to buy!?” He divorced Tilly, that’s how. Could have had that last episode so it didn’t leave us wondering what exactly happened. But fractured storytelling is fine, too, I guess.

3. How is Jerry the villain here?

Chip was finally kicked out of his store by Jerry (because duh) but when it happens, the show plays it like we’re supposed to hate Jerry. But as Jerry so eloquently put it, “You fucked me out of $4 million.” How could anybody possibly be upset with Jerry? If I was him, I’d probably straight up kill him. That’s some frustrating shit.

4. Cat’s out of the bag as far as Chip’s drinking

Dennis is going through his wine stash and discoveries a bunch of empty bottles. He realizes Chip has been drinking. Chip confesses later. That’s it. Really. The entire season has been treating it like the most important thing ever, and the revelation lands with a thud. Like everything else on this show.

5. Is this seriously all we’re going to see of London’s fiance?

First, we see him as a guy just skulking around. Then, he breaks into Chip’s store and clocks Dennis in the head, then runs away. Finally, he has a conversation with London (or fucking CLAIRE which is apparently her real name) and they have a meaningless conversation that means nothing to us because we don’t fucking know this character.

6. What the FUCK was that conversation with George?

Dennis calls George about Chip’s drinking. When George confronts him, Chip goes off on him about how terrible George’s life is. And George just lets it happen. And there are no consequences.

7. We keep hearing that Chip is such a good person, but…

During their conversation, George tells Chip he’s a “good person.” This is something we’ve been hearing the entire season, but really there is no evidence for it. All of the good he’s every done has happened off screen. We’re just supposed to take it on faith that Chip is a good person, despite insurmountable evidence that he’s actually kind of a bastard. Why should we believe these people? We’ve never seen him do anything but hurt people.

8. Tilly and the “fuck-you” twist of the year

So Tilly killed the guy, not Chip. And Chip covered for her. How’s that for a narrative “fuck you”? No hints that this is what was happening. Everybody’s behavior only makes sense if Chip killed the guy, there was no narrative groundwork laid for this reveal. It’s crazy lazy.

9. Are we supposed to be approving of Chip’s speech?

Topher has decided he’s gonna build up Venice. Chip gathers the Neighborhood Council so they can oppose it. But then Chip gives a speech why “rejuvenation” is good for Venice, even though he opposed it like two minutes earlier. And the audience just accepts it like it’s the great revelation. It makes ZERO sense in the context of the story being told.

10. Seriously. That’s how the season ends?

So Dennis confronts Chip about lying about killing the guy and Chip keeps lying. Then Dennis tells him their friendship is over. And the season ends.

Guys.

This is a bad show.