1. I skipped most of Wrestlemania last night, apart from the IC title ladder match and the excellent Women’s title match (thanks Pat). This is why I feel justified fast forwarding through Vince’s crap. Shane comes out and thanks the crowd, then Vince puts him in charge because why not.
2. New Day are out doing some kind of Lion King thing with Booty-Os, then call out the League of Nations in a match that it feels like we’ve seen a lot lately. Are we supposed to regard the League as a threat when they got their asses kicked by 3 retirees last night?
3. To absolutely nobody’s surprise, New Day retain the titles with Barrett taking the pin. Shamus is sick and tired of this, and for once I agree with him. Wade Barrett gets kicked out of the League to pursue other interests, then the Wyatt Family attacks because I guess they’re faces now or something.
4. Vince leaves the building as Summer Rae gets on the mic, which is a good representation of what he thinks of women’s wrestling. Fortunately, Sasha Banks comes out to show us some wrestling.
5. Really? That’s all we get? Banks barely broke a sweat in the submission win. And because anything can happen with Shane in charge, Apollo Crews is up next! Wait… why Crews? I get that he’s talented in the ring, but there are about a dozen better overall workers in NXT at the moment… Couldn’t Samoa Joe come out and squash Tyler Breeze?
6. And… It’s the same match we’ve seen from Crews since he got to WWE. Breeze gets in some token offense (and seems to have the crowd behind him) before getting hit with a gorilla press, standing moonsault (which remains impressive) and a sloppy spinning powerbomb for the win. Welcome to Raw, happy Bobby Lashley.
7. Roman Reigns comes out to a chorus of boos which the commentary team tries to sell as ‘raucous crowd’. Sure. and I’ve got a bridge to sell you. Roman talks for a while, but is interrupted by Jericho, Styles, Owens and Zayn. Is surrounding your champ by four talented, popular wrestlers really a good idea?
8. Oh good, it’s Baron Corbin. And he’s facing jobber to the rising stars Dolph Ziggler, from whom Corbin will hopefully learn something. As expected, Dolph sells like a champ for Corbin, eventually taking the End of Days on the outside for a double count out. Meh.
9. Hey, it’s Intercontinetal Champion Zack Ryder! And he’s facing The Miz, because he didn’t have the initiative to make a play for the world title like the other IC contenders. Miz gets the win after a distraction, because f**k Zack Ryder, right Vince?
10. A ring full of female wrestlers sets up Natalya as the next challenger for Charlotte, which is fine. AJ gives an interview about wanting the world title – good for him. Then they announce the Dudleys vs the Usos for the 27th time and I hit the fast forward button…
Bonus 11th thought: Nice debut for Enzo and Cass and great to see Cesaro back in action, but Raw is still too freaking long…
Tags: 10 thoughts on raw, monday night raw