CH Punk’s WWE Pink Slip Spectacular (Zeb, Sandow, Alex Riley, Santino Marella)

So WWE did it’s Spring fire fest, and the ones let go weren’t all that surprising except one guy. You know who I mean, and he’ll be at the bottom of this list.

Fired so far…

Wade Barret: Duh, we knew he was leaving. I still think his injury prone body shouldn’t be held against him. Some of those injuries weren’t his fault, I guess he’ll head to TNA? Drew Galloway matches would be cool. I don’t know, maybe ROH for a bit? I don’t know maybe Jarrett can pay him in gold coins, and Wade will be in GFW?

Santino: I thought he left three weeks ago?

Zeb Coulter: I thought he left three weeks ago? It’s bullshit that he was let go. WWE sees non-wrestling talent as a waste of money, or something? He should’ve stayed with Alberto, and Swagger should’ve just joined the League of Nations with them. ADR is currently my favorite guy on the roster, but fans find his style boring, and he needs a guy to pound the ring apron and draw heat. Coulter was doing that. Especially when Zeb become all PC, like some 65-year-old millennial. That was genius and WWE could’ve made a bigger deal about that aspect of Coulter and ADR. It would’ve been great for Zeb to declare that the ringside area was his “safe space”.

Hornswaggle: I assumed he was suspended and then let go already. Oh well, he was cool as “The Little Bastard” with Finley, during Horny’s heel debut. He was also great with 3MB too.

El Torito: Duh, what else was he going to do, pretend he’s a regular guy from Puerto Rico?

Cameron: This couldn’t have surprised anyone, including Cameron. Her heart was really not in this anymore. I think pinning Naomi on her stomach was made too big a deal. I mean if that Grim guy on YouTube thinks it’s a big deal, than it’s totally not a big deal. I doubt she’ll have trouble making the same amount of money that WWE paid her. She’s actually very smart.

Alex Riley: I’m surprised he made it this far. His temper, and habit of not keeping his mouth shut is suicide in WWE. He also likes letting everyone know that he’s smart because that worked so well with Matt Stryker. Cena gets to do what he wants, and you aren’t allowed to call him on it. Also saying you’re smart makes Vince and Hunter insecure because neither of them are the cerebral geniuses we’re told they are.

Ryback (maybe): Speaking of guys that won’t shut-up, Ryback is negotiating his contract. I don’t know if he’s being punished, or WWE depushed on purpose because his contract was coming up? WWE still doesn’t seem to have the same faith in him that they had for him three years ago. I still think he’s perfect to play “the lovable lug”, and since Big Show is probably not going to be full-time, Ryback would fit perfectly. These goofy big guys get baby face heat, like a foreign heel gets booed to shit.

Sandow: What a completely dipshit, inbred moronic thing to do. Vince is a complete idiot. Sandow got over no matter what role WWE gave him. He’s more over than Reigns, despite not being on TV for weeks at a time. Vince did this because he doesn’t want another Zack Ryder/ Daniel Bryan situation where the fans put a guy over without WWE’s blessing. What a fucking bone headed move by WWE, and sadly it won’t affect WWE profits at all. He was more over than Adam Rose, or the Ascension, or even friggin Miz. Meanwhile Raw consists of Roman and the Usos acting like dicks, and WWE wonders why we complain. Someone fire Vince.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Join our newsletter

never miss the latest news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary for Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games!