Drew and EC3 meet at a hotel because the office wants them to have a summit. They aren’t going to turn down free whiskey, so it’s time to chat – after a recap of the EC3-Drew feud. Josh recaps the summit clip we just saw and says we’ll see more later. Lashley comes down and Josh recaps how Lashley wanted to make a Triple Crown, but TNA Execs turned it down. Lashley comes down to do commentary, resulting in Pope leaving to play off the angle they had for a few weeks six months ago. It’s time for a battle royal to find a guy to face Lashley. The Bro Mans are in, as are The Tribunal, Eli Drake, Grado, Shera, Moose, Bennett, and Edwards. Baraka eliminates Dax – because we can’t have teams get along in TNA for longer than two months.
Moose tosses Baraka out. A whole lot of nothing goes on as Bennett plays every chickenshit heel that’s ever been in a battle royal – and does a poor job of it. Moose is finally getting a chance to shine though. Moose and Eddie are sent to the floor by Bennett and Bennett wins – so he will get a shot at Lashley. Lashley rightfully points out that this is very bad news for Bennett. EC3 and Drew do a “Hennig shot” in a clip from the summit. Aron Rex arrives to the building for the main event.
Moose blames Bennett, who just says “Moose” a bunch and blames Eddie. The This Isn’t Impact Wrestling: The XXX Parody couldn’t help but have better acting than the actual company. Speaking of which, “Broken” Matt Hardy comes out. Matt holds a contract, or as he calls it, a key to destiny for the tag team titles. The fans now do the “obsolete” bit for Brother Nero. Nero does it for himself and tells Matt that he’s here to work, wrestle, and win for himself and THE CREATURES. A “we the creatures” chant breaks out – I like that. Rosemary talks to them from a camera area.
Abyss comes out looking ridiculous in his silly facepaint and says that the Hardys will rot and decay. And that will be beautiful! Crazzy Steve talks from the crowd about how the Hardys have a lot to lose and says the Hardys aren’t broken, but they will shatter them at BFG. Matt wants a fight with the one who abducted Maxel in his dream, and Abyss loves what he did with Jeff before – so he wants one more match.
Jeff kind of dives onto Abyss. Poor Jeff, and now it’s time for a break. Josh says that American Horror Story has nothing on the Hardys vs. Decay while Matt talks about Jeff deleting Abyss. This is like watching two guys fighting underwater. Abyss is old, fat, and slow while Jeff is older, broken down, working hurt, and can’t do much. Jeff goes up about two inches to avoid a chokeslam and hits a Twist. Matt tells Nero to not be a spot monkey and not come off the top rope. Jeff gives him a double non-bird and dives onto Steve…who misses him. STOP DOING THINGS JEFF.
Steve brings a chain into the ring and goes to attack Jeff. This isn’t a DQ for some reason. Nero hits a low blow, which MIGHT BE A DQ if the ref saw it according to Josh. So you can bring a weapon in to the ring, even if you’re a non-legal participant – just don’t hit anyone in the balls. Steve accidentally mists Abyss and a Twist gets 2. Matt says he saw Steve in his dream, so he chews on his ear. Rosemary mists Nero and Abyss pins him with the Black Hole Slam. This was awful. Decay rambles around for a bit while Matt stands around and tells him to accept that he is broken.
Maria whines about Allie not telling her about Sienna having a title match tonight. Allie blames Maria for getting too many e-mails and Billy Corgan says that he made the title match. Corgan talks about being TNA President and says that Sienna will wrestle tonight because she got involved in last week’s match. Corgan says that her match is next and might have more than one person in it.
Bennett with newly-wet hair talks to Lashley while looking ridiculous with his hair just flying all over the place. Lashley points out that Bennett didn’t actually earn anything and he’ll just kick his ass because he does things on his own. Lashley says that Bennett should worry about Moose, because he he can deal with him, Bennett can’t. Marti Bell is one of Sienna’s opponents, and Madison is another. Madison without “Killer Queen” as her theme just has no life to her. Allie is the third opponent here, and Jade is number four.
Marti and Jade kinda hug to the floor, before Sienna bullies Rayne for attacking Allie. Allie goes for a double suplex with Sienna, but puts herself in the wrong direction – ha! Sienna stomps a mudhole into Marti before Allie hits a couple of hopping kicks. Maria pulls Marti down and Sienna attacks Jade. Jade slams Allie, but a Lionsault misses. Rayne Drop hits Allie, while Jade hits the package piledriver to Rayne. Marti and Allie fight over the baton, and it hits Sienna. Marti hits Rayne with the baton and knocks Allie onto her, so Allie wins. Josh says ‘LISTEN TO THIS PLACE!” while six people chant “Allie”. Well, she is outstanding at playing a non-wrestler.
Aron Rex says that everyone who wrestles wants to be a World Champion and they want to make an impact – like he did and that’s why he’s here. The Summit is next, but first, we get a recap of Allie’s win. Allie is overjoyed about being champion and loves the fans chanting “Allie!”. She makes a great “doomed” face when asked about Maria’s thoughts on her. Allie has some of the best facial expressions in wrestling today.
The Summit consists of the clips we saw earlier recapping them arguing with clips of the events they’re arguing over. There’s nothing really wrong with it, it just isn’t very exciting. The clips are all good, the verbiage is good and they’re fine at playing their parts – but this just isn’t clicking outside of EC3 trying to get EC3-time champ over. Drew tosses him into the pool. Backstage, Moose leaves while wearing Beats and Lashley drives by and says one day, you can leave without parking so far away and not have Bennett pulling his strings. Lashley invites him to a dinner to chat about his future.
Eli Drake welcomes us to Fact of Life. Can Bree Olson welcome us to an Adam and Eve ad instead? Eli cuts a promo on TNA management for the battle royal from earlier, and he wants his KOTM Title back too. He calls TNA management dummies, yeah. Eli says that next week, a new X Division champion will be crowned – and hopefully Braxton Sutter wins it without wearing his half-shirt. Sutter calls him a crybaby for wearing braces, and Spud says he only has braces because of you, you son of a bitch! Spud buries the Helms Dynasty for being from NC, and says Mandrews can’t get over because he’s short, skinny, and British. Eli hypes up flips and five stars next week, but anyone who isn’t named Eli Drake is a dummy, yeah. Mandrews dominates the group and looks a bit like a star with his jacket and logo before taking everyone out with a dive. Eli teases a dive, but hits the “dummy, yeah!” button and DJZ dives over him onto the pile and holds the belt high. EC3 and Drew walk backstage for the main event.
Next week’s big Impact show with Lashley vs. Bennett and the Ultimate X match is hyped up. Why isn’t that the Turning Point show instead of this one, the show with no wrestling? Rex is out, followed by Drew and then EC3 with a singalong and his blue, red, and white Captain America-inspired gear. Drew shoulderblocks EC3 down and we get a stalemate before Drew slaps him. Double-down off a double crossbody.
After the break, Drew chops him and Josh says “the best compliment we can give Aron Rex is that we haven’t said anything about him at all”. Yeah…not really. Drew hits the White Noise on EC3 on the steps. Drew stomps on the face and rubs his boot on his face. Galloway hits an overhead belly to belly. EC3 avoids a corner charge and hits a Russian legsweep into the buckle.
EC3 avoids a super White Noise with a powerbomb and then a deadlift powerbomb for 2. Claymore kick gets 2, as does a powerbomb. Mid-ring, they exchange chops. Drew hits a billion chops, but then EC3 lands a dreadful-looking flapjack. This match would be exciting in a video game going just by what’s happening – but it isn’t exciting at all watching it. Galloway avoids the One Percenter and hits another Claymore for 2. Draping One Percenter gets 2 for EC3. Drew gets 2 off a tombstone, and EC3 wins off a jackknife cradle and faces Lashley at Bound For Glory.
Pope says that the match was a classic, everyone in it was a classic, and the refereeing was classic. So then nothing was a classic. Drew attacks Rex with a headbutt and stomps a mudhole in him. He spins Rex into the post to officially turn heel and then slams his head into the steps a bunch for good measure. This really dialed down Aron Rex, who went from being beaten up a ton on WWE TV to being beaten up on TNA TV.
Tags: tna impact