The Fantasy Book on So Much Wrestling, So Little Time (Heath Slater, Dolph Ziggler, Randy Orton, Shane McMahon)

Wow, what a crazy weekend, eh? So much wrestling for three days. We started out on Friday with Ring of Honor’s Death Before Dishonor (which included many New Japan stars). Evolve ran two shows (Evolve 66 and Evolve 67) on Friday and Saturday (notable for all those Cody Rhodes fans out there). Saturday also brought the NXT: Takeover Brooklyn 2 event. And it capped off on Sunday with WWE Summerslam. I would venture to say that of the four/five events, Summerslam would definitely be the worst of the bunch, with NXT’s show being the weekend’s highlight.

So as I sat down today to write this week’s Fantasy Book, I realized I had a lot of thoughts jumping around in my head. Instead of making one comprehensible column (and perhaps losing other threads of potentially entertaining thoughts in the process) I decided to spout out a bunch of random observations and asides, Larry King-style. (Google him, millennials.) I’ll throw in a little fantasy booking of the Brock Lesnar/Shane McMahon situation at the end as well. Let’s get to it:

  • Well, I’ll be damned, Heath Slater got himself over with the free agent gimmick. Good for him. I loved the “We Want Heath” chants during the Lesnar/Orton match at Summerslam.
  • I think I figured out who Dolph Ziggler is. He is Chris Kanyon. We all like watching his offense and his great selling, but can never seem to get over the hump.
  • Actually, I was wrong. Dolph Ziggler is actually Billy Gunn’s and Shawn Michaels’ illegitimate kid. He gets his ability from Shawn Michaels and his look and loser ways from Mr. Ass.
  • You know what, I might be wrong about that. Dolph Ziggler is actually Jim Kelly and the Buffalo Bills of the early 1990s. He can get there, but can’t seal the deal.
  • With all that said, I really enjoyed the Ziggler/Styles match on Smackdown Live this week (although I am not sure why he was even up for another title opportunity). The near fall after the zig zag on Styles was amazing.
  • Do you know which organization I complete forgot about this weekend? TNA. The only time I even remembered they still exist is when the Dudley Boyz “retired” on Smackdown Live and name dropped the Hardyz.
  • Speaking of completely forgotten wrestling companies, wasn’t Jeff Jarrett supposed to be changing the wrestling world with a new company?
  • Okay, this wasn’t during the weekend, but on Smackdown Live. And it is less an observation than a plea to the powers that be. Listen, I like Bray Wyatt. I like his character. I like his act. In fact, I still like him even though you WWE powers have beaten him down over and over. But this? This might be too much. Putting him into a program with Orton is recipe for large amou… … … oh, sorry. Even typing that sentence put me to sleep. Please let Wyatt rip Orton to pieces quickly and then move on.
  • It’s a damn shame about Finn Balor’s injury. I don’t see it as Rollins’ fault though. It is just a freak injury. Maybe Rollins is cursed (damn you, Papa Shango!) or something, but I don’t think he wrestles reckless or anything.
  • Speaking of the Universal Title, why is Big Cass in the hunt for it? He’s a tag team guy. And his tag team is still over. Don’t make the mistake of breaking them up just so you can push the big guy. Look what happened to Reigns.
  • I hope I’m mistaken, but I get the feeling that Big Cass might just be Test for this generation.
  • Which would make Enzo Prince Albert. Hey, it appears the hair is there.
  • There is something interesting happening out in the other wrestling organizations of the world. New Japan Pro Wrestling has a pretty solid working relationship with Ring of Honor. New Japan just started working with Pro Wrestling NOAH during the G1 Climax this year and that relationship looks like it will continue. And, Ring of Honor looks like they have just begun a working relationship with CMLL in Mexico. So we have a link of four promotions from Japan, Mexico, and the United States all working together. It may be nothing, but how great would it be if these were the first steps in putting together a worldwide network of promotions which could work together and establish a true world champion? If nothing else, I would think the WWE would take notice.
  • After this weekend, can we stop considering NXT the “minor league” for the Raw and Smackdown Live brands? Their talent and work ethic are obviously superior than those superstars in the big leagues, with a few exceptions, of course. At least treat NXT like a true third brand and not a red-headed stepchild.

One last bit here. Brock Lesnar beat down Randy Orton at Summerslam, as it should be. Then, he hit an F5 on Shane McMahon. Obviously this is going to set up some sort of physical confrontation between Shane and Brock in the future (and I will have to recycle all my “why Shane doesn’t belong in the same ring” stuff like I did with the Undertaker match at WrestleMania). Stephanie McMahon has already fined Brock Lesnar $500 (which seems fair except to Shane who is a rich kid and doesn’t understand the value of money). But instead of building to a Brock-Shane battle, why not have Shane put out a hit on Lesnar? Shane could recruit someone on the Raw roster to take out Brock. That could become Brock’s storyline for a while, taking on wrestlers from the Raw roster who are trying to get the bounty from Shane.

From there, Stephanie could discover this situation through her “spy” she has planted on Smackdown Live. I believe a returning Alberto Del Rio could do the trick (and give Del Rio a direction) or even Dolph Ziggler could be Stephanie’s spy. It could even be greater than that and have Heath Slater be the double agent. For weeks, Stephanie’s spy could try to sabotage Shane on Smackdown Live while Raw wrestlers try to collect the bounty on Brock’s head. Things could continue to get deeper and deeper, turning Shane and Stephanie into rival mob bosses almost. Then Vince could return as the head don and be proud of both his kids, urging them to turn up the aggression even more on each other.

I have no end for this fantasy storyline, but the McMahons as rival mob families is a fun one to consider. And if Shane and Stephanie feel the need to get in the ring, I’d rather see Shane get crushed by Dolph Ziggler or someone and Stephanie can be taken out by Nia Jax.


Well, that’s about it for this week. A lot of randomness, I know, but professional wrestling shouldn’t overload me like that very often. Until next week…

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