Break The Walls Down: 6 Reasons Explaining Why Neville Is So Angry


6 Reasons Explaining Why Neville Is So Angry

The flying Geordie has returned! Having been worryingly absent from our screens during the latter part of the year, Neville has done something that was in danger of becoming an impossibility… He’s made the Cruiserweight Division interesting. The heady heights attained by the Cruiserweight Classic have been slipping from memory, replaced instead by an inexplicably diluted version on Monday Night Raw. A lack of storytelling, diminished ring time and divisional segregation have combined to leave the WWE Universe in utter apathy for the talented high flyers and technicians the Division has to offer, and 205 Live has the tough task of reinvigoration. The burden has been depreciated however, by Neville’s reappearance and immediate heel turn. Taking apart Rich Swann and TJ Perkins garnered cheers from the crowd, but the new King Of The Cruiserweights has not returned to be cheered. He’s a heel, and he’s super livid. He claims to be angry at the lack of the respect given to him as a ground-breaking pioneer of Cruiserweight wrestling, but there are many other explanations as to why The Man That Gravity Forgot is apoplectic.

He’s Realised He’s Not Actually A Superhero
It happens to all of us. During your formative years you become obsessed with thinking you can fly, or becoming invisible, or seeing through walls. Kids are awash with cartoons and movies based around superheroes, and many of these spandex-clad Adonises are put on a pedestal and revered as role models. As you hit your teens, reality smashes you over the head with one of Hacksaw’s 2×4’s, and you come to learn that Santa Claus isn’t real, wrestling is fake, and superheroes don’t exist. Somehow, Neville has evaded the truth. He’s as close to being able to fly as any human in history, and WWE has encouraged his fantasies by donning him in a cape and giving him awesome pyro and superheroey theme music. Rumour has it that during his time off for injury, he slowly began to question the legitimacy of his superhero claims, as victories were becoming scarcer, and superheroes don’t tend to lose often. See John Cena.

He Can’t Grow A Beard
Not only is Neville the height of a 14 year old, he grows a beard like one. As a heel, it’s of paramount importance to bear facial hair, and the high flyer has attempted to oblige. However, it looks like he’s taken shavings out of a clogged plug hole and glued them to his chin. This would anger even the happiest of souls.

His Beloved NUFC Are No Longer In The Premier League
For those who don’t follow the beautiful game, firstly, you’re a fool, and secondly, this may go over your head. The Premier League is the pinnacle of achievement in league football (real football, not your stupid egg shaped hand ball), and Newcastle United had solidified themselves as major players in the early 2000’s. Such lofty standings are a distant mirage, and having recently hauled themselves back into decency, this season Neville’s cherished Magpies have plummeted back down into the second tier. Relegation is a horrendous affliction to endure, and goes a long way to explaining Neville’s mysterious summer disappearance and subsequent animosity.

His Ears Growing Outwards Have Pulled His Brain Too Tight
It could be argued that such a rapid change in temperament could only be caused by disease, disorder or ill health. This notion rings true when you look at Neville’s ears. It’s like an elf had sex with a Vulcan near an Arabian Sand Cat. They’re not high or tall, just incomprehensibly wide… And they’re still growing. Neville’s hair is obviously cultivated to cover the monstrous appendages, but embarrassment isn’t the only problem here. The skin on Neville’s face has been pulled taut to accommodate such unnatural width, thus pinching at his brain and creating these recent anger issues.

Wade Barrett’s Prediction Of Him Becoming World Champion Will Never Come True
On WWE Ride Along, former employee Wade Barrett claimed that Neville could become the first British born World Champion. It’s baffling to think that no Brit has ever held the top gold in the company, especially considering the UK’s impact on the industry. The British Bulldog, William Regal and Barrett himself have come close on occasion, but when Neville took the NXT Title and was then moved up, Brits began to hope. As a phenomenal in ring worker, Neville’s only real stumbling block was his accent… Until now. Being placed into the Cruiserweight Division eliminates him from the bigger picture, and while he’ll certainly hold the Cruiserweight strap soon, the World and Universal Titles are very much out of reach. It’s clear Neville hadn’t contemplated this until making his way to the ring to applaud Rich Swann. He was all smiles, suddenly took stock of the situation, and duely took out the Outlandish One.

Gravity Started To Remember Him
All in all, Neville had an illustrious start to his WWE career. He served as a lengthy champion on NXT, is a two time tag champ on the yellow brand and currently the only person to have held both belts. He reached the all British final of the King Of The Ring and has had some excellent battles, notably against Seth Rollins, John Cena and Chris Jericho. Through all of this, he was The Man That Gravity Forgot, and frequently hit his famed and impressive Red Arrow to take home countless victories. As 2016 rolled on, losses piled up and the Red Arrows were passing over less regularly. In short, Gravity got a grip of itself and began to remember. This must be infuriating for a man forgotten for so long.

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