WWE Raw 1/9/17 Recap – Roman vs. Jericho and Owens

Stephanie makes sure to lecture Mick during his performance review. Mick looks outstanding with his new look while Stephanie says that Mick started the rumor of Taker being here. Odd to ADVERTISE THE SHOW AROUND HIM. Seth comes in to “Steph’s office”, which has a Holy Foley ad in it. Braun roars in and says he wants GOLDBERG OR ROMAN OR ELSE! Seth bows up before Stephanie orders security in. The handicap match starts, but Braun comes down and attack. Seth makes a save with a chair before Steph says that the US Title match will still happen – but she’ll give him time to heal. Seth will face Braun next. Braun dominates with big man stuff – nice mat-based crossfaces by Braun. Seth gets taken up top, but sends him down off the top. A high fly flow gets 2. They fight into the crowd for a double countout.

HBK’s movie gets plugged. Bayley and Sasha have a meeting before Charlotte bigfoots her way into things. Charlotte is. Really. Horrible. At ac-ting. Nia comes in and dominates Charlotte – leading to some bizarre fanfic soon I’m sure. We see Daivari beating up Gallagher on 205 before Gulak faces Jack. Gallagher gets slammed into the ropes and hit with a slick lariat off the second rope for 2. Jack hits some EXTRAORDINARY UPPERCUTS before a massive headbutt leads to the corner dropkick to end it. Gallagher challenges a parlay for 205 Live.

HBK comes out and the fans chant for “one more match” before he tells the kids how to not give in to peer pressure! Rusev and super-jacked Jinder come out. Rusev tells him that for the movie to be successful, Lana has to be in it! HBK says well, it’s already been finished – so that’s kinda not possible. Rusev says they should do what they did for STUPID STAR WARS and put Lana in – they can really only do that with hairy wookies…so Rusev is an option. Rusev says everyone will forget about the movie – like HBK’s career. Enzo and Cass come down to save HBK and Enzo says that Lana is a great actress – she has to act like she isn’t repulsed every morning! Cass calls Jinder the 40 Year Old Virgin while Rusev’s just a Puss in Boots. Lana can star in Blow, and then there’s The Pianist.

YA CAN’T SAY THAT ON RAW THO! Rusev stops the comedy and makes Jinder vs. Cass and HBK says that he has nowhere to be until January 20th, and he’ll be out here – and if you’re not down with that, they got 2 words for ya! Enzo and Cass came off great here. Empire elbow wins a fairly boring, but heated match thanks to the promo work. HBK’s superkick to Rusev was a nicely touch too. Neville beats the fuck out of Lince Dorado before locking on the Rings of Saturn crossface and landing on his back. Swann makes a save. Steph tells Bayley and Sasha that they’ll face Bayley and Sasha tonight and then orders them to leave – because EVERYONE gets made to look inferior to her.

Anderson does commentary for Sheamus vs. Gallows. They have a pretty blodding match before Karl and Cesaro brawl and Gallows gets 2 off a flapjack. He turns into a brogue and Sheamus wins. Mick comes out to talk about Taker, before Steph buries him for not delivering Taker tonight. Taker comes down and enters the Royal Rumble and says he answers to no one and will go where he wants, when he wants. No one controls him – and he makes a special point to glare at Stephanie there. He says he has returned to where the streak ended – but his journey continues and he’s dug 29 holes for 29 souls, and he’ll bring the darkside to the Rumble. He’ll win and main event WrestleMania and anyone who opposes him will rest in peace.

Jericho and Owens do a wacky promo backstage and say that it’s time for two Canadians to be the face of America. Bayley and Sasha face Charlotte and Nia. The Charlotte vs. Sasha stuff was good, but it was a bit short and Nia beats Bayley with a legdrop and gets a dominant win. Noam Dar is in a wacky skit with Alicia, who kisses and shocks Dar. We get another New Day and Titus skit. He wants another chance to join the New Day before we get a highlight reel of Titus failing over and over. New Day makes him do an NXT-esque obstacle course, which fails and leads to a match with Kofi. Titus hits a nice Dominator, but Kofi hits the Trouble in Paradise kick to win.

Roman faces KO and Jericho. Roman’s attempt to put Jericho in the cage is thrwarted. Jericho’s Okada homage gear is rather fitting after WK 11. A lionsault gets 2 thanks to a KO punch. Roman hits a spear, but Owens saves Jericho. The drive by misses and a KO superkick on the apron hits Roman. The drive by hits KO and a Superman punch counters the triangle dropkick. KO holds the leg and a codebreaker hits alongside an apron powerbomb. A codebreaker hits once again and Jericho wins the US Title for the first time in his career. This was a pretty good show outside of Steph undercutting every major talent on the show that she was involved with.

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