Tonight is the perhaps the fan favorite PPV of the year, the Royal Rumble!
Here is the Pulse Wrestling crew’s full preview with predictions for all planned matches.
2017 Royal Rumble match
Sam P – This. Is. My. Favourite. Wrestling. Event. Of. The. Year. Love the surprises. Love the drama. Love the history. Boom. After four years straight of blatantly obvious winners, this year it’s nigh on impossible to predict. Which is super awesome.
1) Winner: Really no idea.
2) #1: Jericho or Zayn
3) #30: Goldberg or Taker. Because OLD.
4) Most eliminations: Brawn Strowman
5) 1 Surprise Guess: Samoa Joe
6) Final Four: Zayn, Strowman and two others!
1) Winner: As far as I can work out, it seems fairly likely that the Undertaker’s going to win this one and go on to face Cena for the World Championship at WrestleMania. Count on Lesnar and Goldberg to eliminate each other and themselves or some shit like that. And, once again, WWE worships the old days at the expense of using the talent they’ve been building on the big stage.
2) #1: There’s a fair bit of pressure in the number one spot, and I think it could be the Miz. He can work with anyone, and would do a really good job getting people invested in the match early on. He could go for a decent length and have something to crow about afterwards. He’s earned it.
3) #30: Goldberg. Both for the big pop near the end and to stop him from getting blown up.
4) Most eliminations: Lesnar, who’ll have been in for a bit longer.
5) 1 Surprise Guess: I’m going to go for pure fantasy here and say Kurt Angle. Because I can fucking dream.
6) Final Four: Goldberg, Lesnar, Undertaker and…Braun Strowman?
Michael – Hmmm… This Rumble seems very top heavy this year. I honestly have no idea who will come away the winner, but I’ll give it a shot. These predictions will definitely be different than my Fantasy Book about the Rumble, which is up on Inside Pulse Wrestling for your viewing pleasure.
1) Winner – Let’s say Seth Rollins finds a way to get back into the Rumble and he wins in a surprise.
2) #1 Entrant – I’ll go with Dean Ambrose to start the crowd off loud and raucous.
3) #30 Entrant – How about Rusev? Add a little bit of doubt for the fans cheering for the faces left in the ring.
4) Most eliminations – If it is not Braun Strowman, I will be VERY surprised.
5) 1 Surprise Guess – Since I used the Seth Rollins card as my winner, I will choose a different surprise. I will say Batista. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 opens May 5, so why not return to promote the movie a little bit on the way to Wrestlemania?
6) Final Four – Seth Rollins, Chris Jericho, Bray Wyatt, and Randy Orton. Sure, why not?
1) Winner – Undertaker
2) #1 Entrant – Kofi
3) #30 Entrant – Goldberg
4) Most eliminations – Braun Strowman
5) 1 Surprise Guess – Tye Dillinger at #10
6) Final Four: Goldberg, Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, Dean Ambrose
WWE Universal Championship
No DQ, Chris Jericho will be suspended in a shark cage above the ring
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Roman Reigns
Sam P – I don’t understand this shark cage guffins. Aside from coining “sexy piñata”, the whole set up is dumb. However, Owens PPV matches are always great, and hopefully he’ll win via shenanigans thanks to the No DQ stip.
Winner: Kevin Owens
Spain: I think if they’re doing something so patently ridiculous as putting Jericho in the cage, they’re going to give Owens another way of cheating to win. I don’t see Reigns getting the Championship here. Probably for the best.
Winner (and still WWE Universal Champion): Kevin Owens
Michael – Now that this match is no-DQ, the shark cage thing doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. When I Fantasy Booked this match a few weeks ago, I figured Jericho would drop brass knuckles or something to Owens for the victory. Of course, that was just my wishes for what we could see. I really hope Vince doesn’t put the title on someone who is so disliked by almost everyone. That would be like electing that orange developmentally-stunted sexist, racist, and baby-handed dirtbag to run the country. Oh, wait… But still, let’s hope Owens wins.
Winner: Kevin Owens
Widro – The no DQ stip is interesting, but it seems likely that the title is moving to Roman before Wrestlemania, so I think that begins here.
AJ Styles (c) vs. John Cena
Sam P – Cena is back to claim the title before he leaves again. But does he tie Flair’s record now, or later? It’d be awesome if Styles picks up yet another victory over Cena and then loses at Elimination Chamber without taking a Cena pin, thus giving reason for them to continue feuding.
Winner: AJ Styles
Spain: This is one component to setting up the Undertaker/Cena showdown at WrestleMania, along with Taker winning the Rumble. I see Cena getting number sixteen here.
Winner (and new WWE Champion): John Cena
Michael – I am dreading this match, to be honest. Styles should win this. He should remain champ and headline Wrestlemania. he’s been THE star on the main rosters this year. Plus, doesn’t Cena have a kid’s award show to host or a Tough Mudder reality show to film or something? What I hate most about this is that if Cena wins, who knows how far down the card Styles will be shuttled come Wrestlemania time. Oh, damnit…
Winner: John Cena (and once again, the new WWE Champion)
Widro – They have really buried AJ in the commentary so it’s hard to believe that Cena will come back and win here. The strange announcement of the Elimination Chamber seems part of things too.
WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Bayley
Sam P – Flair doesn’t lose on PPV.
Winner: Charlotte Flair
Spain: Charlotte’s been a pretty great heel so far, and I think she deserves to lose the belt at WrestleMania. Bayley’s time will come.
Winner (and still WWE RAW Women’s Champion): Charlotte
Michael – I am very pro-Bayley. But she can’t win here. The build-up hasn’t been enough. In fact, the build-up has sort of made it seem like she is Sasha’s little sister trying to do what Banks has done (win the belt). In this interpretation, Sasha Banks is Ben Affleck, a big star with some awards and high profile relationships, while Bayley is Casey Affleck, trying hard to make his own name in well-received and respected roles, finally earning an Oscar nomination (but without the sexual assault charges). And yes, Charlotte Flair would be Matt Damon in this analogy, the superstar who has out-shown both Afflecks and could now buy South Boston if he wanted. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, hopefully I will have my Oscar Best Film reviews up in the next week or so. Oh, the Royal Rumble…
Winner: Charlotte Flair (to continue the feud to Wrestlemania where she will finally get her comeuppance)
Widro – They haven’t done enough to build up Bayley, plus Charlotte never loses on PPV (right now).
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Rich Swann (c) vs. Neville
Sam P – 205 Live was missing something. Neville was that something. So let’s give the King his crown. This would have all made way more sense if he’d beaten Wade Barrrett in the finals of King Of The Ring, FYI.
Spain: I know more or less jack about the Cruiserweight Division, which seems to be one of the positive aspects of my life. So I’ll support my fellow Geordie here, as usual.
Winner (and new WWE Cruiserweight Champion): Neville
Michael – Yes, Swann is getting nice reactions from most crowds. But Neville has been made to look like a star and justifiably so. I think Neville takes the belt here and hopefully Cedric Alexander gets the push he deserves as the next challenger.
Winner: Neville (new champ)
Widro – As obvious a title change as you’ll see, this is a no-brainer as Neville is the star of the division.
WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
Sam P – Baffled that this is on the pre-show. It’s time for The Club to stop losing every match ever and take home titles. I’m basing this mainly on a dream I had that was so vivid that I thought they were already the champs.
Winner: Gallows and Anderson
Spain: It’s not be long enough for these guys to lose the titles: there’s so much comedy still to go. I think Gallows and Anderson will put up a…heel of a fight, but I see the Champions retaining.
Winners (and still WWE RAW Tag Team Champions): Cesaro and Sheamus
Michael – I have to admit that I like the pairing of Cesaro and Sheamus. I was very dubious of it at first, but that is just because I was hoping for a serious Cesaro singles push. But since we are not getting that, their team of ass-kickers is really quite enjoyable. And their matches with Gallows and Anderson have been pretty darn good, I must say. I have not been impressed with Gallows and Anderson as a team since their debuts in the WWE. Maybe it is the fact that they never actually WON anything. Frankly, I think this is the last ditch effort to get them over. Maybe the belts get traded back and forth until Wrestlemania.
Winner: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (new Tag Team champions)
Widro – Pre-show match leads me to believe that there will be no title change.
Winner: Cesaro & Sheamus
Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella, and Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Natalya
Sam P – I didn’t even realise this was a match until the round table. And I even watched Smackdown. Anywho, this should be a face win.
Winner: Lynch, Bella and Naomi
Spain: Becky needs a win; Nikki needs revenge and Naomi needs more of a reason to go after the Championships. All of this adds up to the faces winning.
Winners: Becky, Nikki and Naomi.
Michael – I am as sure as you are that Vince had to be talked out of making this a 6-pack challenge for Alexa’s belt. Which is good, because the Rumble match has enough “who’s going to turn on whom?” moments already built in. I am all for additional storylines that don’t involve a belt, but do all of these issues need to be on the PPV? Plus, even though Nikki Bella has improved and Naomi is serviceable, it still seems like Becky Lynch bringing a +2 to the party. I say Mickie James comes out looking like a star from this match, setting her up for some interesting battles down the line. (P.S. – Widro, THANK YOU for using the Oxford comma in this match in your message to us. It’s a dying art, and we must save it!)
Winners: Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Natalya
Widro – Not a lot on the line in this one, seems like a good opportunity to get Mickie a win and some heat heading into her feud with Becky Lynch.
Winners: Bliss, James, Natalya
Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax
Sam P – I’d like to see Jax obliterate Banks in a mirror of the Strowman / Zayn feud. Yeh.
Winner: Nia Jax
Spain: I genuinely have no idea, but I suppose Sasha could do with winning back some prestige after the hard loss to Charlotte. So…true underdog victory?
Winner: Sasha Banks
Michael – Okay, it is good that The Boss has moved on from her Charlotte Flair obsession. Seriously, it was getting to be Charlotte Always instead of Charlotte Sometimes. (Bonus points for anyone who gets either the literary reference or the musical reference, especially since they are related.) Nia Jax looks strong in this, but her squash matches aren’t working for me. She isn’t Braun Strowman. And she is still green in the ring. For the women’s division to continue to grow and get better, you need to have solid and sharp performers. Jax just looks a little sloppy at this point. But I think she takes care of business here after Sasha carries her to a good, if short, match.
Winner: Nia Jax
Widro – I think they will play up Sasha’s injuries and have Jax pick up a needed win for credibility.
Tags: rasslin roundtable, Royal Rumble 2017