The Fantasy Book on the Dark Alley to WrestleMania (AJ Styles, Luke Harper, Randy Orton, Bray Wyatt)

Greetings. Before I get into this week’s Fantasy Booking of WrestleMania, I’d like to alert everyone that the Academy Awards will be here very, very soon. Don’t know anything about the movies? Neither do I! But that didn’t stop me from writing a column about the Best Picture nominees. Please read it here, over in the Movies section of Inside Pulse.

Thanks. Now here we go towards WrestleMania!

Last week we went over the first two matches for the big Fantasy Booked WrestleMania – John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler and American Alpha versus Anderson and Gallows. After this week’s Smackdown Live!, it appears the WWE is going in a different direction. For the purposes of this Fantasy Booked WrestleMania, I am going to keep going with the matches I have booked over anything the WWE is doing at the moment and we can compare whose card looks better later.

However, I will say that I like the WWE’s choice of having Miz go after Cena. They have good chemistry together. You can just look back to their build up to WrestleMania a couple years back. Plus, Miz has been doing stellar work lately and deserves a high profile storyline going into WrestleMania.

Today, let’s start with a focus on the Wyatt family’s WrestleMania plans. First things first, Bray Wyatt will not be champ going into the event. And Randy Orton’s offer to withdrawal his title shot will be upheld by Daniel Bryan. Here’s where things get a little convoluted.

We start off Smackdown Live! with Kane coming to the ring. Kane, without the mask, announces that he is going to retire after WrestleMania. After he thanks everyone for their support over the years, he says he is going to spend the next few weeks setting things straight with the boys in the locker room. He calls out Daniel Bryan and apologizes for not always being level-headed, but he really enjoyed his time teaming with him and wanted him to know. After that moment, Kane straightens up again and says that everyone who knows him knows that this is not something he is taking lightly. He also says that everyone who knows him knows that not everything can be settled with words and a hug. Some scores need to be settled in the heat and he pulls out his mask and holds it high.

We get several backstage skits of Kane apologizing to people or thanking them, etc. This goes on for a couple weeks. He stares down Wyatt and then turns to Orton. Undertaker addresses Orton, calling him a coward and a sorry excuse for a man. He says if Orton was any kind of man, he would have kept his opportunity to challenge Wyatt.

Meanwhile, we have that poor finish of the battle royal to manage. So at the start of the second hour of Smackdown Live!, Daniel Bryan announces a main event of Luke Harper versus AJ Styles match where the winner gets the title shot. Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton come out to argue with Daniels, but the gongs will hit and the lights will go out. He’s here – the Undertaker! He stares down Wyatt and then turns to Orton. Undertaker addresses Orton, calling him a coward and a sorry excuse for a man. He says if Orton was any kind of man, he would have kept his opportunity to challenge Wyatt.

After Undertaker finishes lecturing Randy Orton, he turns to Bray Wyatt and says, “A man would walk right up, stand in front of you, and tell you that he is coming to kick his ass.” The crowd would ooo and aww, and Wyatt would look a little scared. But then Wyatt would start laughing and back up two steps. As he does, Orton would spin Taker around and hit an RKO outta nowhere, and he and Wyatt would leave Taker lying in the ring.

Styles will defeat Harper in the main event to get the #1 Contender spot for WrestleMania. Harper has an impressive showing though and gets over even more with the crowd. During the match, Orton and Wyatt will come to the ring to scout and do commentary. After Styles picks up the victory, Randy Orton will sneak in and lay out Harper with an RKO. Styles will avoid getting hit with Sister Abigail and escape out of the ring. Styles grabs a microphone and stands on top of the announce table. He yells at Wyatt that he is now the #1 Contender and he wants his belt back, but he doesn’t want to wait. So, next week, he will cash in his title shot and face Wyatt one-on-one for the World Title.

The next week, we have a cluster of a main event. AJ Styles versus Bray Wyatt for the World Title. Randy Orton is ringside in support of Bray Wyatt. Or is he? After a solid match, Wyatt gains control as Orton distracts Styles. Before Wyatt can hit Sister Abigail, the lights go out. When they come back up, the Undertaker is standing in the ring behind Wyatt. Wyatt drops Styles and prepares to fight, but Undertaker runs across the ring and dives over the top rope onto Randy Orton outside the ring.

Taker and Orton brawl around ringside with Wyatt getting distracted. This allows Styles a chance to mount the comeback. A low blow by Wyatt stops that momentum though and Wyatt sets him up for Sister Abigail again. And then the lights go out AGAIN. This time, Kane’s pyro goes off on the stage and the monster comes down the ramp. Wyatt is distracted again and Styles makes his way over to the ropes. Wyatt finally turns back around and gets hit with the Phenomenal Forearm (which is still a stupid name) and gets the three count, regaining the World Title.

Kane comes into the ring and starts beating down Wyatt after the match as the announcers talk about how Kane was the first victim of the Wyatt Family when they debuted. It seems like Kane is going to settle his score with Wyatt. Orton and Taker make their way into the ring at this point. Orton breaks free to try to RKO Kane, but Kane pushes him off into a chokeslam by Taker. Kane then chokeslams Wyatt. While all this is going on, Styles has made his way to the top of the ramp with the belt in hand.

The next week Orton and Wyatt will jump Kane backstage and beat him down. Then Wyatt cashes in his rematch clause. Styles wins the rematch when Orton’s interference backfires and Styles is able to pin Wyatt in a small package. Orton and Wyatt just look at each other at the end.

The following week, Daniel Bryan starts the show in the ring. He announces that even though Randy Orton forfeited his title match at WrestleMania, he still won the Royal Rumble and that gives him a shot at the title. Styles comes out and says that Orton already got his chance a few weeks ago against Cena. Even though Styles’ argument is solid, Shane McMahon is worried about a lawsuit, so the Wyatt Family will get another shot at the world title that night in the form of Randy Orton versus AJ Styles.

The end of the Styles-Orton match saw Kane come down to go after Wyatt. Orton eventually left the ring to help Wyatt. Orton and Wyatt were able to overpower Kane and kept beating on him outside the ring. Orton lost track of the referee’s warnings and was counted out, giving the victory to Styles. Orton was livid and went to attack Styles, but Styles slid out of the ring and headed to higher ground.

Orton and Wyatt decided to take their frustrations out on Kane, so they dragged him in the ring and continued the beatdown. A Sister Abigail into an RKO left Kane unconscious and Wyatt and Orton gloating over his unconscious body.

The next couple weeks will see Orton and Wyatt threatening and beating up Kane. One week, Kane goes to Shane McMahon and demands both Orton and Wyatt in a match. McMahon tries to talk him out of it, saying a handicap match against them is suicide. Kane says he doesn’t care and to make the match. Shane says he will give him the match, but not as a handicap match. If Kane can find a partner, he can take on Orton and Wyatt in a tag team match. Kane says that’s fine and leaves.

Later in the show we see footage of Kane talking to AJ Styles backstage. Even later we see Kane talking to Luke Harper backstage. When the time comes for the main event, Orton and Wyatt come out first and then Kane comes out. Kane’s partner is then revealed to be The Undertaker! The Brothers of Destruction hit the ring and all four men start brawling. The match never begins as it is just chaos all over the ringside area.

The next week, Bray Wyatt does a promo where he calls Undertaker and Kane a couple of washed up cowards. He and Orton were the new faces of fear and the most intimidating team around. Orton says Taker and Kane could never even tie their laces, that the Wyatt Family is so far beyond their dysfunctional family. A week later, another brawl backstage winds up destroying several pieces of equipment, leading to Shane McMahon announcing a tag team match for WrestleMania between the teams. But since they keep breaking all this equipment, etc, he will have to make sure that doesn’t happen. Shane says that since they can’t be civil, he will have to treat them as the uncivilized asses they are being. He makes the tag match a Hell in the Cell of Fire match. Basically, the match will be in the Hell in the Cell structure with a moat of fire around the outside. Everyone, the competitors, the crowd, everyone seems pleased with this.

Meanwhile, AJ Styles starts coming to the ring stating how he has done it all. That he has beaten everyone. He’s beaten Cena. He’s beaten Ambrose. He’s beaten Wyatt. He’s beaten Ziggler. He’s beaten Orton. He’s beaten Harper. He’s beaten them all. He starts proclaiming himself the greatest World Champion in history. He keeps that narrative going for a couple weeks.

Now we have three matches scheduled for this Fantasy Booked WrestleMania:

  1. John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler
  2. American Alpha versus Anderson and Gallows
  3. Undertaker and Kane versus Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton

And there’s lots more to come in the upcoming weeks. Let me know what you think of these options in the comments. In the meantime, check out my column about the Best Picture nominees. The Oscars are fast approaching, so be sure to get a laugh in before then –

Join me next week as we continue to flesh out this card so you wrestling cannibals can have something to gnaw on.


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