Impact Wrestling 4/13/17 – Team Josh vs. Team JB

A video for the Natural Born Thrillers, the Veterans of War, and Fury airs. And then Josh’s complaining about JB gets a big hype video – because that’s the real star of the show. Reno Scum comes out in CAW gear to face Laredo Kid and Garza Jr and Decay. Reno Scum hits Steve with the leaping curb stomp to win. Josh leaves to talk on his phone. Everett chats with Helms and challenges Helms to get a shot at Lee. Lashley talks about Making Impact Great before Bruce talks about Lashley’s next opponent. We go backstage to see Morgan, Storm, and EC3 jostling back and forth. Storm is picked, so EC3 comes out and complains. Bruce says that the FANS chose the opponent. Bruce tells him to look in the mirror and asked what happened to EC3, the top man. Karen promises change.

Sienna and KM come down for mixed tag action against Allie and Braxton. Allie’s hot pink attire is flattering, shall we say. KM is really not good in the slightest, and thankfully, Sienna and Allie come in to improve things. Sienna trips over KM and loses via fluke cradle. Kongo Kong comes down as the fury that Sienna is unleashing. He may have the least-flattering look ever. He has giant man boobs and a big diaper-looking pair of tights. He beats up Braxton, and Allie is beaten up by Sienna and LVN. A recap of Reno Scum’s win leads to them cutting a promo and saying “oye”.

Team JB vs. Team GOAT happens tonight and Josh talks about the United flight incident. Rosemary comes out to face Santana Garrett, who has also done shots with NXT and was in TNA before as Brittany. Santana botches a moonsault and eats an F5 to lose. Angelina Love cuts a promo for Davey about them dominating. Suicide vs. Rockett vs. Everett is up. Helms comes in with kneepads over his jeans. Helms hits a hammerlock Complete Shot. Everett gets up, takes out Helms and beats Rockett with an SSP. Frankendriver hits Lee after the match and Helms leaves. Morgan talks about Impact having the best athletes in the world. He’s seven feet tall, buff, and fast. And ya can’t teach that.

Davey beats the tar out of DJZ and beats him with an ankle lock before a brawl with Eddie. Angelina and Alicia go at it too. The heel team comes out first before the faces, which eats up a ton of time. Josh calls JB a mark and says he’s undefeated. Everyone does the bare minimum here. Morgan looks like he hasn’t tanned properly – his chest is red and everything else is pale. Hellavator hits Bram, but Tyrus saves him. Alberto superkicks Tyrus, but ADR eats a spear. Eli hits an air raid crash on Adonis for 2. Magnus powerbombs Eli and hits a grounded cloverleaf before Bram saves him – but a diving elbow by Magnus takes out Bram. Josh is taken out of the area by the faces, and Impact returns “live” next week – hopefully with a better show than this one.

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