10 Thoughts on NXT – Authors of Pain, Heavy Machinery, Bobby Fish

10 Thoughts, Reviews, Top Story

1. It’s NXT time and in the main event tonight the ring will be filled with a lot of bulk, but not necessarily a lot of talent.

2. We kick off with a recap of Tommaso Ciampa’s recent heel turn, including the beating that the Sicilian Psychopath handed to his former partner Johnny Gargano – who returns to action tonight!

3. Our first match of the evening is Aleister Black facing the debuting Bobby Fish, and it will be interesting to see if this match has a clean finish. This starts out as something of a kickboxing bout, before the pair display a nice line in chain wrestling and then go back to kicking the crap out of each other. Fish is a far better opponent for Black than Cien Almas, matching the Dutchman kick for kick and seeming like a genuine threat from the start.

4. The commentators really sell Bobby’s experience as the match progresses, but Black eventually gets the upper hand with a series of super-stiff strikes and finishes things off with the Black Mass. Excellent match and a great debut for Bobby Fish, but I’m a little surprised they had him lose cleanly in his first appearance. Still, if this results in an ongoing feud between Black and Fish then I’m all for it.

5. So I missed last week but apparently Kassius Ohno walked out on Hideo Itami, resulting in a loss to Sanity. Post match Ohno basically calls Itami a whiny loser, which doesn’t seem too far from the truth, based on his recent performance.

6. Next up we have a qualifying match for the Mae Young Classic, which promises to do for women’s wrestling what the CWC did for Cruiserweights – shine a brief light on them and then give them their own show that most people won’t watch. Starring in this match are Vanessa Borne and Jayme Hachey, but before that we get a promo for NXT’s newest, not-at-all racist tag team, Street Profits. After that nonsense we get a decent match with Borne picking up the win with a spinning sidewalk slam.

7. Johnny Wrestling is back! He talks about how he will never understand why Ciampa attacked him, but he’s looking forward to wresting at Takeover Brooklyn, which is the biggest show of the year if you don’t count Great Balls of Fire. The crowd love him, but I just want to see him wrestle.

8. The tale of the tape gives the main event that ‘big match feel’ and reveals that both Heavy Machinery and the Authors are fat, but Machinery are fatter. May the fattest team win!

9. This was… not a good match. Not the worst I’ve ever seen, but then again I was watching wrestling when David Arquette was world champion… To show how much they agree, the producers cut to a long-ass commercial break just as the match starts. Back from the break and everyone is already blown out, so it’s rest holds aplenty. After far too long Dozevic gets a long hope sequence before the Authors hit the Last Chapter for the pinfall.

10. With no disrespect meant to the unknown competitors in the Mae Young Classic this was basically a one-match show, but fortunately Bobby Fish and Aleister Black made it a good one.

JT is a hot air balloonist, writer and tattoo aficionado. He writes about movies, science, music, video games, action figures and professional wrestling.