The Fantasy Book on The McMahon Games: The Culmination (Roman Reigns versus Sami Zayn)

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Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Except for you, Vincent. We’re good.

We have reached the last stage of The McMahon Games. The entire locker room has been whittled down to two competitors who are going to fight for the Money in the Bank briefcase. We’ve also seen a star turn for Luke Harper who put up a hell of a fight against Brock Lesnar. Neville retained the Cruiserweight title over Cedric Alexander after a crazy inverted battle royal. And we crowned a new Woman’s champion in a huge gauntlet match in the debuting Asuka.

But now, we have a No-DQ, Falls Count Anywhere match between Sami Zayn and Roman Reigns. Reigns, still sporting injured ribs from his encounters with Big E Langston and New Day in the previous rounds, is still considered the heavy favorite here. The crowd is still not tired of booing him even after seeing him multiple times in this same night. Sami Zayn, already the fan favorite, gets some bonus support simply by being Reigns’ opponent.

The match would start as expected with Reigns using his strength to push the smaller Zayn around. Even though Reigns would look hurt after each move, he would still have control. He would drop Zayn with a Samoan Drop, but Zayn would roll out of the ring to catch his breath. Reigns, determined to get the briefcase, would dive outside the ring towards Sami. Zayn would see him and dodge the dive and Reigns would crash into the railing.

This would give Sami a chance to take over. Digging under the ring, Zayn would emerge with the usual suspects – chairs, tables, kendo sticks, a fire extinguisher, and, in a bit of a surprise, Triple H’s handy sledgehammer. Zayn would use a chair to pound on Reigns for a while and then set up a table. Reigns would stop selling long enough to run around the ring and hit a drive-by on Zayn. Then he would go back to selling his injured ribs. Because Roman Reigns.

Sami would stagger to the other side of the ring and then hit his diving DDT through the ropes to the floor on Reigns. A kendo stick would become Zayn’s favorite weapon at this point, basically chasing Reigns around the ring, up the ramp, and into the backstage area. In the backstage area though, Reigns would catch a break when Zayn would trip over some production equipment, allowing Reigns to hit a Superman punch on him before he could get refocused.

Reigns would then take the kendo stick, but Zayn would grab the other end. The two men would tug of war with it for a few minutes before Reigns just stops and swings Zayn off and into some garbage cans nearby. Reigns would use the kendo stick a few times, breaking it over Zayn’s back. Reigns would continue his dominance at this point, throwing Zayn into walls, bouncing him off the cement floors, and running him into every object hard enough to cause damage, or at least loud noises.

Reigns then picks up Zayn’s battered body, tosses him over his shoulder, and heads back towards the ring. Zayn slips off Reigns’ shoulder and chop blocks him from behind on the ramp. Zayn then crawls towards the ring while Reigns gets back to his feet and shakes off the attack. When Reigns catches up to Zayn, he is surprised that Zayn has the fire extinguisher and sprays it into Reigns’ face. Reigns, temporarily blinded, gets nailed with the fire extinguisher right in the face. Zayn falls on top of Reigns outside the ring, but Reigns kicks out at two!

Zayn then grabs another table and slides it into the ring. He sets it up in the middle of the ring and goes out to get Reigns. However, Reigns is waiting and hits him with a spear. He tries a cover but can’t put all his weight on him due to his rib injury, and Zayn is able to kick out at 2. Reigns then throws Zayn into the ring and hits him with a Superman punch. Zayn appears to be dead weight now as Reigns picks him up and powerbombs him through the table in the ring. Reigns covers but somehow the Underdog from the Underground gets his shoulder up just in time.

The crowd is popping huge at these near falls and a “Sami Zayn” chant breaks out. Reigns looks around and goes outside the ring. He picks up Triple H’s sledgehammer, slams it into the ring steps, and climbs back in the ring with anger in his eyes. The crowd is booing Reigns mercilessly here as he lifts the sledgehammer up and swings it straight down at Zayn. Zayn rolls out of the way in the nick of time and Reigns smashes the hammer through the shards of the table. The boos are deafening at this point towards Reigns.

Zayn scampers over towards the ropes and makes his way to his feet. As he is doing this, Reigns pulls the sledgehammer out of the table wreckage and charges at Zayn. Reigns lifts the sledgehammer to head-height to smack Zayn with the hammer, but Zayn ducks down and hits a big back body drop on Reigns, flipping him over the top rope and outside the ring, through the table Zayn had set up earlier. Zayn takes a minute as the crowd begins a “Holy Shit!” chant, then rolls outside and covers Reigns. The referee makes the count 1, 2, … shoulder up!

Zayn looks stunned. Reigns looks unconscious. The crowd starts chanting something that sounds like “Bullshit!” but the volume has been turned down in the production truck. Zayn goes walking up the ramp, turns around, and charges back down the ramp at Reigns. Reigns, getting to his feet slowly, leaps over Zayn’s attempted spear and Zayn crashes into the side of the ring. Reigns takes a moment to play to the crowd and does his roar thing. But he has to stop it halfway through because he remembered his ribs hurt. He grabs Zayn by the leg and drags him up the ramp towards the broadcast position.

Reigns sets Zayn against the side of the Raw announcer desk, takes a couple steps back and attempts a low dropkick. Zayn rolls to the side and dodges the kick, with Reigns kicking out the side of the table. The announce table collapses on top of Reigns and Zayn rolls on top of Reigns and the table but Roman kicks out yet again.

Zayn looks completely out of it and stumbles across the stage while Reigns climbs out of the announcer table rubble. Zayn wanders all the way across the stage, stopping about 3 feet from the edge. He turns around to see Reigns charging at him. Zayn ducks under a Superman punch attempt, runs about 10 feet away, pivots, and runs straight back at Reigns. Reigns, having missed the Superman punch, was barely able to keep his balance and not fall off the stage. Reigns turns around to Sami Zayn’s Helluva Kick crashing into his face.

Both men go flying off the side of the stage to the ground below. As medical staff and officials rush over to the competitors, the referee notices Zayn has landed with his arm draped over Reigns’ chest. He drops down and makes the three count and the crowd explodes! Sami Zayn has won the inaugural McMahon Games and has claimed the Money-in-the-Bank briefcase! Zayn manages to let out one victorious yell and wave to the crowd as he is helped by medical personnel.

And we’re out. So what do you think about this new, one-off event? Did it live up to expectations? Was it exciting? Surprising? Unique? Let me know what you think in the comments.

Next week we will get a bonus column out of this event. I will fantasy book Sami Zayn cashing in his MITB opportunity. That should be fun. Until then…

 

Human. I think.