Slammiversary is hyped up to start the show off, with the major matches being run down. Petey comes out to face Killer Kross. Kross hits a big exploder and Don puts him over like he’s Vader in ’93 saying folks are terrified to face him. Kross avoids the Destroyer and locks the Kross Jacket on to win. Madison talks about picking her daughter up from school and her daughter wanted to be a superhero – like her. Katarina and Joe Hendry are with Grado and we get a Polaroid showing Kat ‘n Joe ’18…and Grado. Aww, poor guy. The Desi Hit Squad faces Bahh and KM. Bahh takes one down with a headbutt. KM forces a neckbreaker and a DDT, but the heels win with a cradle and the ropes.
Konnan cuts a great promo on taking out King and how they’ll destroy him and the OGz. King says a war will unfold on Sunday. Eli comes out to face Joe Henry, who sings his name and sings about Eli being a dummy and we get some wacky costume video with Eli. Eli slugs him and stomps a mudhole in him, and the Gravy Train is turned into a schoolboy for the win. LAX talks about King and how they’ll take him out. Andrew Everett comes out to what I guess is North Carolina dubstep to face Dezmond Xavier. Eddie comes down and beats them up and a ref. He cuts a promo on Tommy and then does snow angels. Su Yung says that Madison’s time has come and Madison goes to a funeral parlor and sees herself in a casket before a creepy kid dressed like Su freaks her out.
Last week’s main event is recapped, and Greg Osbourne comes down to face Sami. Sami pump kicks him and stomps away before fish hooking the eyes and piledriving him and putting Pentagon’s mask on him. He pump kicks him and cuts a promo on Pentagon via Osbourne in the mask. Get Outta Here ends it. Pentagon tells him he won’t forgive him for taking his mask before and he will show him why Impact is his house. Homicide talks about being a cheerleader with the new LAX and cuts the most boring promo imaginable. Allie talks about feeling sorry for Tessa because she seems selfish. She says that she’s talented, but she’s good too and doesn’t have the family history.
Moose walks backstage and Tessa talks about her plan to take over Impact. Shotzi Blackheart teams with Tessa against Allie and Kiera Hogan. Tessa slams Kiera around for a bit Shotzi comes in and gets low bridged and hit with a suicide dive. Shotzi gets dropkicked face-first into the buckle and eats a sliding D. Best Superkick Ever hits Tessa, but Shotzi forearms her hard. Shotzi goes for a tag and Tessa leaves and the codebreaker hits and ends it. Sami goes backstage to find Penta. The Bond girl-esque video airs again and it’s Scarlett Bordeaux.
Johnny Impact talks about returning at the PPV against Ishimori, Rich Swann, and Fenix in what should be a show-stealer. The Cage vs. Kongo Kong wars are shown to set up Sydal-Cage. Santana talks about Konnan guarding his family when he was younger. Moose talks about being the hardest-working guy in the company while Aries says he can’t lose to a guy like Moose who has so little experience.
Jake and Dave Crist are backstage and can’t find Sami. They find him beaten up in a Pentagon mask after slugging him a few times. Pentagon attacks the goons and does the arm snapper to Jake. That was fantastic stuff. Moose comes out and says that he’ll beat the hell out of Aries and stick his banana up his ass. Moose’s Austin cosplay is cute, but him cussing a ton just seems odd. Aries is backstage and says he’s playing chess while Moose is playing checkers. Aries jumps him and low blows him, but Moose recovers and sends Aries packing.
Tags: austin areis, Eli Drake, Grado, km, Moose