Extreme Retro Review #008: ECW HCTV 05/18/93

EXTREME RETRO REVIEW #8:

Eastern Championship Wrestling

HARDCORE TV 05/18/93

Hosts: Jay Sulli & Stevie Wonderful

Location: Cabrini Field House, Philly

Attendance: 175… Maybe

-The geeks on commentary run down the show and Paul E. comes in. He runs down Tod with a vocal pitch and cadence akin to Roddy Piper. Listen to it… eerily similar. Tod comes out and he is tried of Paul E. pushing his weight around. It ends now but Muraco walks in and nudges Paul to STFU. Tod leaves in a huff, while Paul E. cuts a quick promo; running down Tod with a dated Ted Kennedy joke. Muraco then cuts a promo putting over Paul E. and heels up for the fans. He then calls out ECW Champion Mr. Sandman. He calls him a fake surfer and demands a title shot.

-Replay of the Super D’s vs. “Les Mullets” Tag Team Title Match.

Hot Stuff International (“Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert & Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka) vs. Max Thrasher & J.T. Smith

I’m sure this is a squash. Why would they book this again? Referee John Finnegan is a spry 400lbs at this point. Smith is doing a typical smiling, clapping babyface and I cannot possibly give 2 cups of monkey’s piss. Terrible kicks by Smith to Gilbert, but Gilbert takes over for the heat. He misses the Lawler fist drop. (LOL.) Smith wouldn’t tag Thrasher in, so Thrasher turns heel on Smith, trips him up and powders. Snuka with the Superfly Splash FTW (DUD)

-Funk promo from the Double-Cross Ranch. It’s the hard-sell for the chain match between he and Gilbert. He puts over Harley Race and Boris Malenko as tough competitors. Moving on.

Non-Title Match: The Suicide Blondes (Sir Johnathon HotBody & Sir Christopher Candido) vs. “Les Mullets” (Tony “The Hitman” Stetson & Larry Winters)

Candido has a little Adrian Adonis gut going, but he had “it” early. Exaggerated tight pull call to the ref by Chris (LOL.) Usual tag match and somebody who happens to be in “Wildman” Sal’s gear walks down to ringside calling himself “Super Destroyer #3.” Um, Okay. Hot tag to the Hitman. Cut-off and it breaks down into a Sunset Flip in stereo. Mullets FTW. (DUD) Blondes jump the champs up the aisle. So, the champs won a non-title match? What was that supposed to do for the Blonde (-**)

“The Magnificent” Don “The Rock” Muraco (w/ Eddie Gilbert & Paul E. Dangerously) vs. Glen Osbourne

Quick promo from Paul E. putting over Muraco. Osbourne playing Jobber to the Stars (JTTS). Terrible offense by Osbourne, while a crawler on the bottom of the screen shills the chain match between Funk/Gilbert. The camera focuses on Heyman at ringside as nothing in the ring is happening. Muraco is giving Osbourne nothing, reversing an arm ringer. Hot Shot by Muraco. He then points to the camera and hits a one-armed piledriver FTW. How do you like you squash? (*1/2) Gilbert gets in the ring. He should have slapped Osbourne for good measure (*)

-Geek Artese in the ring announcing the stipulations for the next match.

ECW Heavyweight Title: The Rockin’ Rebel (Challenger) vs. Mr. Sandman (Champion)

Thots are barred from ringside. Sandman (aka Harley Quinn) comes out a house of fire as Wonderful buries Peaches: Good man. Finally starts outside, Irish-whip reversal gives the champ a bad shoulder. Sulli is just awful on PBP. Rebel with the usual Memphis heat. Sandman comeback; Rebel powders for the cut-off. Sandman doing the stomping/clapping bit like an 80’s babyface goof. Funny bit where Sandman lays down in the ring waiting for Rebel to get back in. Stevie exclaims: “THE CHAMP HAS GIVEN UP!” (LOL. They should have never given up on this guy so early.) More heel work by Rebel. Sulli can’t even call a jawbreaker correctly, FFS. One-foot dropkick by the champ: Awful. Vertical suplex by the champ: Hideous. Back & forth punches into a double-down. Finnegan starts the 10-count. They get up and go into a double clothesline. Tigra Von Erich comes down. Peaches intercepts for the DQ (DUD) Peaches has on a mis-matched windbreaker looking like Penelope Cruz at the end of “Blow” (Watch it.) The faces clear the ring.

-Back to Stevie, (looking like Jimmy Garvin) & Sulli (looking like a tool-bag) to close the show. “Wildman” Sal Bellomo (as Super Destroyer #3) comes out handing pizza to fans. The goofs start to go over next week’s matches but Sal interrupts to say that he is coming… um okay… TV/Tag Titles will be defended next week.

Overall: Pretty much a filler show. Thumbs down.

Listen to this episode of the infamous right here on YouTube.

Spoiler… Meh…

Peace.

 

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