The show starts off with an almost SNME-style promo with Hogan cutting a promo about the hPhone and having only one question – what are you going to do when Hulk Hogan and the legends run wild on you?! Then we get Miz and Morrison being goofballs with bad comedy before the New Day comes out for more terrible comedy involving BBQ and smell-o-vision. We get all of this crap until Teddy Long comes out to announce that Miz and Morrison are going to have to go one on one with the Undertaker! Oh wait – no – we’ll get a TAG TEAM MATCH! Miz catches Kofi off Trouble in Paradise, which he turns into a catapult that Kofi turns into a crossbody. Kofi twerks at Morrison, while having no ass and it being 2021. We get some mid-match filler moves before Kofi hits an SOS on Miz. Woods hits a shining wizard on Morrison to win it.
We get a recap of Orton possibly burning Alexa alive before he says he’s capable of anything – but he didn’t burn her. Angel Garza winning the 24/7 Title on TikTok is shown before he meets with Alicia Fox and she has massive tattoos on her wrists now that look pretty slick. Slaughter, Mickie, and Tatana in full gear are just having a casual chat as you do. He gives Mickie a rose and then Slaughter calls him a maggot. Elias faces AJ again, with AJ having to be the babyface here. Elias clubs away in the corner before eating a Phenomenal blitz. Styles Clash ends it before Ryker tries to attack Styles with a guitar, but Omos round kicks it. Okay, that was good! Charlotte says she wasn’t a favorite to win but last year, she won the Rumble and OVERCAME THE ODDS.
Matt Riddle chats with Big Show and he’s the Big Bro. Orton comes in and stands with Show and that just makes Orton looks bigger and Orton says that Show’s career is over thanks to him. Show says he could compete right now and he isn’t ashamed of being on a legends night, so Orton says he has no guts anymore. Charlotte and Asuka with Ric Flair come out to face Lacey and Peyton Royce. Lacey’s theme is drowned out by the poor audio mixing and she wears a Lacey the Legend hat during an inset promo. Oh Jesus. Lacey and Charlotte have a nice outside the ring brawl before she runs wind and attacks both Lacey and Peyton. Charlotte hits a moonsault to both of them before Asuka sliding kicks Peyton for 2. Asuka hits a codebreaker and then Charlotte…hits a natural selection that Peyton takes her own bump for. Asuka misses the hip attack and eats a neckbreaker before Lacey goes to kiss Ric and that leads to him tripping Charlotte so Peyton can hit a crucifix and win. She tells Ric to stay out of her business and bosses him around.
Hulk and Jimmy Hart put Drew over for holding the WWE flag high and he reminds him a lot of him. Maybe he should be more specific. Drew says that with his big mouth, Sheamus reminds him of Jimmy – who as always looks much younger than his age at 77. Sheamus says neither of them or funny, but he wishes Drew well and he’ll drink with them all. Drew and Hulk pose and say they’re coming for Keith Lee tonight. Tom calls Hogan a 12-time WWE Champion – so I guess now all World titles outside of TNA and AEW are just WWE Titles. Riddle vs. Lashley is up and Riddle jumps him from behind. Lashley catches a round kick and hits a spinning back elbow before a lariat sends Riddle down for an imaginary fist bump. These guys doing worked MMA spots works so well. Riddle flies out of the Yokosuka cutter and then lands a PK. Flash knee to Lashley, but he recovers and the Hurt Lock is on but the ref misses the tap due to MVP. A distraction schoolboy of course gives the babyface the win.
Ricochet meets with Mark Henry, who has a mobility scooter for a bad wheel. Orton meets with him to mock his scooter. He talks about the Hall of Pain and he owes him a lot of receipts – but he’ll give him a pass IF he peddles his ass out of here and he does. MVP says that Riddle tapped and Lashley promises to punish Riddle. Mandy Rose comes out to wrestle but Shayna chokes her out. Dana takes the match and Shayna loses quickly off a cradle from the clutch. Randy meets with Ric and asks him to walk him down the aisle – but he won’t let him mess up his match like he did with Charlotte. Orton says that Flair taught him everything – and he WAS the dirtiest player in the game, but his daughter ten times what he ever was. Randy says he may look like Ric Flair and talk like him – but he’s nothing to him now and he’s just a pathetic old man. Riddle meets with Lee and says that he’ll give Lee a bit of good luck, but he doesn’t need it – he’s a beautiful man.
Randy comes out to face Jeff Hardy, who after a billion losses to Lashley, has a great chance here. They have, fittingly for legends night, a middle school armory version of their 2008 work. Jeff eats a lot of chinlocks, but dives on the floor from the apron. He avoids an RKO with a schoolboy, but a twisto is avoided with an RKO. The Lucha House Party meets with Melina before they face Shelton and Cedric. It must be good luck as they get a quick win via crucifix from Lince to Shelton – further setting him up as the weak link. MVP tells them to get on the same page. Torrie meets with Angel, and Torrie looks 20 feet tall next to Nikki. The Boogeyman scares Angel and Truth pins him. Ron Simmons stands over Angel and says DAMN.
Drew comes out and Keith Lee gets put over on the ramp by all of the legends. That is a fantastic visual. Keith bullies Drew around a bit before Drew slaps him around and slugs him in the corner. Lee pounced Drew over the barricade, but Drew hits a mid-ring Future Shock for 2. Lee sets him up top for a Spanish Fly, which gets 2. Drew avoids a spirit bomb and hits a claymore to win it. Drew and Keith stand together before Goldberg comes out as THE legend and he says that Drew has it all. He has size, speed and athleticism. But what he doesn’t have is respect because he looks at legends as washed-up and now apparently Drew thinks he’s better in his prime than they were and none of them hold up to him. He does and HE’S NEXT. Goldberg shoves him down and this is solid build for the Rumble.
