If you grew up in the ’80s, you’ll have plenty of memories of clicking around the cable box and finding The Beastmaster. The fantasy movie seemed like it aired every night. Whether it be on one of the pay channels like HBO or the regular cable tier like TBS. The Beastmaster was there for you. There was a joke that TBS stood for The Beastmaster Station. The film wasn’t a theatrical hit when it was released at the end of the summer of ’82. The cable love made it seem like a blockbuster. This was the perfect movie for teenagers who were getting hooked on Dungeons & Dragons during the mid-80s. There was more sword and magic action that you can shake two 20-sided dice to. Even better was that you didn’t have to buy a movie ticket to see The Beastmaster.
The high priest Maax (The Man Who Fell To Earth & Men In Black‘s Rip Torn) gets bad news from his trio of witches. Turn out that King Zed’s unborn child will eventually kill him. Instead of waiting for the child to pop out of the womb, get raised, learn how to use a sword and come up with an excuse to kill; Maax goes straight into coup mode. He has one of his witches bust into the king’s bedroom to execute his plan. Instead of just outright killing mother and unborn child, the witch magically transports the unborn child from the mother to a cow. She takes the cow to a remote location for a ritualistic sacrifice. This doesn’t go as planned after she puts a brand on the baby. A farmer ends up killing her and saving the baby. The child is raised as his own in the rural village and named Dar. He has a sense that he’s rather special since he has the magical ability to communicate with animals. His life once more gets torn apart when the barbaric Juns ransack and destroy his village. Turns out they’re tied to Maxx. Dar (V‘s Marc Singer) gathers together his weapons with a desire for revenge without realizing Maxx had destroyed his real family, too. His ability to communicate with animals comes in handy as he puts together a team of furry companions including an eagle, a panther and two thieving ferrets. During his journey, he comes across the slave Kiri (Charlie’s Angels‘ Tanya Roberts) as she swims in a pond. He attempts to seduce her by “fighting” the panther. But things don’t go right for the hero. She flees him. Dar does run into a boy Tal (Josh Milrad) and his bodyguard Seth (Good Times‘ John Amos). They enter the town bent on rescuing Kiri and killing Maxx. Can Dar’s animal posse take down such a powerful man?
While everyone likes to talk about Marc Singer spending most of the movie wearing a leather loincloth, people should marvel at how John Amos pulls off his leather wardrobe that shows off his arms, legs and torso. After this movie, you knew he could punish J.J. on Good Times. Amos should have gotten more tough guy roles during the ’80s action era. Maybe he was a bit too intimidating for Arnold, Sly and Bruce to go gun to gun on the screen? This version of the film has Tanya Roberts skinny dipping in the pond. You might not have experienced that if your family only had TBS and not HBO. The real scene stealer is Rip Torn as the evil Maxx. He got his teeth extra nasty for the role. You can believe he’s the kind of guy who just tosses random children into a sacrificial fire on top of a pyramid. I often wonder if people were hoping he’d toss Hank into a fire when Rip played Artie on HBO’s The Larry Sanders Show.
While I’ve no proof, I swear The Beastmaster is why people started adopting ferrets as house pets instead of dogs and cats. People must have sworn their new ferret was going to be an expert jewelry thief and pay for its own upkeep.
The Beastmaster really does play like director Don Coscarelli (Phantasm) was rolling polyhedral dice behind the camera to see where the plot would go. I swear that quite a few of the plot points were later recycled by Dungeon Masters when I hung with the gaming society in college. And why wouldn’t they? This movie is still a lot of fun to watch ever if it isn’t on TBS ever night. Although if you get the DVD, you can recreate that two in the morning attitude of “let’s watch The Beastmaster one more time.”
The Video is 1.85:1 anamorphic. The transfer looked good even coming from a DVD. You will see Tanya Roberts big swimming scene clearly. This cleaner than when you watched it repeatedly on WTBS in the mid-80s. The Audio is Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound and 2.0 Stereo Sound. The movie is subtitled in English.
Trailer (2:13) sets up the sword and sorcery action.
MVD Rewind Collection presents The Beastmaster. Directed by Don Coscarelli. Screenplay by Don Coscarelli & Paul Pepperman. Starring Marc Singer, Billy Jacoby, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn, John Amos, Josh Milrad, Rod Loomis, Vanna Bonta, & Ben Hammer. Running Time: 119 minutes. Rating: Rated PG. Release Date: August 27, 2024.
