No, 411 hasn’t shut down, we just haven’t gotten a news report in a few days. Grutman is slacking, Pank has vanished, which leaves me to be the Saturday lord and savior of 411 . Just a little bit later than I’d intended since I slept till noon, when I’d planned to get up around 9 to do this and get some other junk (laundry) done. Ah well such is life.
Anyway, we got a PPV weekend coming up, so that makes this column The Official 411 Bad Blood Preview.
But First
Mailbag
Habeeb: Dude, rantwars are really f*ckin stupid. I read like 4 paragraphs of number six and wow its stupid. I mean seriously do you have nothing better to do than let some asshole express his knowledge for big words mixed in with a bit of wrestling knowledge. Well thats all i have to say and i hear u like periodsinsentencessohereyagobuddyhaha
Obviously I have nothing better to do, I’m an Internet Writer. We, by definition, either have no life or hate our life. I mean, look at me it’s a Saturday afternoon and I’m sitting here writing a wrestling column. I’m going to play Magic: The Gathering after I’m done here. Writing for you folks is the highlight of my week, and dissing other aspiring Internet writers makes me feel like I have big balls.
But, thanks for giving me a reason to plug RANT WARS WEEK 5
Semi-Response to Zach Singer’s Manifesto
Politics Alert, skip down to the next headline if you want to ignore it.
I was reading Eric’s column last week, as I’m known to do on Tuesday and Wednesday, and I got down to the part where he prints the letter from “the only man more liberal than him.†And a funny thing happened.
I found myself agreeing with him.
Now, don’t get me wrong, most if it I thought was crap, and I thought it was more of the same stuff that liberals worry about have no bearing on the real world. This for instance
This ad featured little kids being asked by the announcer “What makes America great?” And of course we got the ususal cutesy answers, “I know I am safe”, et al. A real gem in the kid who said “I know you can say something bad about the President without getting your head chopped off.” Although it may be another dumb slight at the French, who have outlawed capital punishment. Hey, if its so bad…why do we do it!
And then I heard the most insane thing I have ever heard.
“If your teeth fall out, you get new ones.” “Can’t you get new ones in other countries?” “Not that I know of!”
Did the announcer go “Wow, that’s pretty ignorant, you dumb little girl!” or the more appropriate “well, that’s not true.” Nope. Nothing. It was cute, right? Hell no it wasn’t.
Now…let that sink in for a second. That there is the problem with this country. The perception of that as cute. It isn’t cute. It’s stupid, and it’s how the roots of hatred are formed. We live in a society of hate, and it’s caused us to be hated by the entire world.
Fist of all, it’s a little kid. They based an entire show around stupid things that kids say and/or think that Bill Cosby hosted. Secondly, there’s a reason we teach children that this is the greatest country in the world. Because it is. And even if it wasn’t, we teach children that it is. If you think the biggest problem with this country is that little kids are taught to love America above all other countries, then I think we’re doing pretty good. In fact, I know a lot of other countries that would beg for it to be their biggest problem.
And, the way he speaks, it seems like he thinks that America is the only country practicing this. It’s not. Russian kids, through the 80s, were taught the same things. Russia is the greatest nation on the planet, America is evil, etc etc.
However, the ONE thing I had to say I agreed with was this line:
We still don’t get it, Eric. The first step to peace isn’t to encourage conflict and support those who do. It isn’t to be the macho Americans. It’s to do the one thing that will end the Middle East conflict.
STOP. FIGHTING. BACK.
Here, he has a point. I would love for the US to pull any and all influence they have in the middle east. Let them blow each other off the map and f*ck it all. I would be more than happy if the US just let the Middle East kill each other. Sit here, develop anti-nuclear defense, and let them do what ever they want. Find Saddam, Find Osama, then get the f*ck out of Dodge and whatever happens, happens. It’s sad that bad shit goes on under dictators, but it’s not our problem.
Now, do I agree that we should have taken 9/11 as a sign to calm the f*ck down and stuck the tail between the legs, curled up, and went away? No, that is not the precedent we want to set when stuff like that happens however, using the incident to springboard into a war with a Iraq and now f*cking with Iran and Syria? Not necessary. Not needed. Bring the boys home and let them find their women.
We will never be able to wipe out the stuff going on in the Middle east right now, anymore than people could have stopped the Crusades 500 years ago. Why? Because, as a religion, Islam is 500 years younger than Christianity. What was going on with Christianity 500 years ago? That would place it in the 1500s? Jeez, lets think about it for a second.
We don’t need to be the solution to all the world’s problems. That much, I agree with. However, teaching kids that we’re the greatest country in the world? We are. No problem there. Let the rest of the world hate us. Who cares? I’m not going to feel bad, nor will I lose sleep a night because some Yahoo in France thinks we suck.
But that’s just me.
Bad Blood
Not the best PPV lineup ever and unfortunately one I’ll actually have to pay for. Let’s take a look.
Rodney Mack & Christopher Nowinski vs. The Dudley Boyz
Should totally be on Heat before the match. I guess this is the “deep†roster Linda McMahon was talking about on the Conference Call last week. I hope with all that I am that they aren’t going to turn D-Von on Bubba here to join the black man stable. I feel Gang Wars coming back. Nation of Teddy Long anyone? Regardless, one way or another, they’re putting team black over here.
Yes, I am referring to Nowinsky as part of team black.
Winner: Team Black
RVD & Kane (c) vs. La Resistance – World Tag Team Titles
The only reason I feel safe that the previous match won’t offer a turn, because I feel that Grassfire is on their way to a breakup. Hopefully for Rob to get some sort of IC title feud over the next two months and for Kane to well I dunno, burn something. Vince seems to have a hard-on for La Resistance (who probably have a hardon this whole match, RVD is just tasty) so I have no problem seeing them with the belts here.
Winner: La Resistance with a Grassfire breakup
Scott Steiner vs. Test – Winner Gets Stacy’s Services
Setup all along anyone? Stacy turns on Steiner and goes heel with Test.
Winner: Stacy/Test
Christian (c) vs. Booker T – Intercontinental Title
Ahh, the IC Title, my friend and compatriot. It’s soo good to have you back. This match will probably be a show-stealer almost guaranteed. I would love to say that they will finally give Booker his due here, but I think there’s too much money in an extended Booker/Christian feud over the two months leading to Summerslam. Properly written, it could be one hell of a story and make a whole lot more people want to see Booker get the title at SS.
Winner: Christian
Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair
Possibly the best built match on the card. Ric Flair is just running through his dream matches before he calls it quits, I think. However, Michaels doesn’t really need the rub Flair can give him, but it’s been worth the watching.
Winner: Michaels
Chris Jericho vs. Goldberg
Unless HHH does some shenanigans, it makes no sense for Goldie to lose this match, as he’s supposed to be the next title contender. If Goldie loses, there’s really no way for him to become the Number One Contender for the belt and it will just look silly. As silly as Goldie’s looked thus far, I guess.
Winner: Goldie
Triple H (c) vs. Kevin Nash – World Title – Hell in a Cell – Mick Foley as Referee
It’s sad when the referee is the only reason I want to watch this match. Who wants to bet Foley takes the biggest bump in the match? No one? Not surprising. Nash/Goldberg’s been done before, so I see no reason not to build to HHH/Goldberg at Summerslam.
Winner: HHH
This is one of those really bad on paper shows, but it has potential to be decent. At least three matches have a chance at being good, while Foley in a match, in any form, gives it potential.
We’ll see.
Grut Style Newsbites
1. AJ Styles unseated Jeff Jarret as the NWA:TMF’nJ world champion. Next week will see Sting on TNA. WWF will probably be watching this buyrate carefully, I would think. Next week is the One Year Anniversary of TMF’nJ and this is the card:
– Sting & Jeff Jarrett vs. AJ Styles & Mystery Partner
– Christopher Daniels & Elix Skipper vs. America’s Most Wanted for the NWA Tag Titles
– Chris Sabin vs. Paul London for the X Division Title
– Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible
– New Jack vs. Mike Sanders in a Hard Ten Tournament Match
– Sandman, D-Lo Brown, & Frankie Kazarian vs. Sonny Siaki, David Young, & Don Harris
– Mike Tenay interviews: B.G. James, Konnan, and Ron Killings
– Erik Watts seeks revenge on Kid Kash
2. Billy Gunn made his return as Mr Ass on Smackdown last week. BG James almost has his Road Dogg hair back. Coincidence? God I hope so.
3. Smackdown finished with a 3.7 last week, up .6 from the week before. This is obviously due to the return of Mr Ass. Or, at least, that will be how it’s read.
4. WWE held their fourth quarter conference call, again ignoring any requests from shareholders to explain what steps they were taking to improve creative. Yeah, wouldn’t want silly things like making money coming up in Conference Calls after losing 8.9 million last quarter.
And that’s about it.
In Other Reading
RantWars – Week.5
(06.13.03) – Jay Bower
w/ Special Guest Eric S., Five remaining contestants discuss elements of WCW that should be integrat…
From Outside The Book 06.13.03: A Nice Beginning
(06.13.03) – Matthew Poffel
Oh, the pain the pain.
Counterfeit Pennies 06.11.03: June Special: Three …
(06.11.03) – Chris Biscuiti
Presenting a wrestling/pop culture smorgasbord filled with thoughts on Mick Foley, Classy Freddie Bl…
Marking My Territory 06.10.03: Triple Heartbreak F…
(06.10.03) – Dino Zucconi
You’re Bobby Caldwell’s kid, aren’t you? That’s great. Now get in the God damn house.
Midcard Madness 06.07.03: Looking At Bad Blood
(06.07.03) – Chris Robinson
My predictions are early, but my sarcasm is perfectly timed.
Ha, I love that trick. View Source baby.
In Conclusion
Sorry about the lateness folks it was the one day I’ve had to sleep all week.
Hope you enjoy and hopefully you’ll see Bower tomorrow.
