Scott’s Top Ten Matches of 2004

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Scott’s Top Ten Matches of 2004!

– Well, I guess it’s an annual tradition now or something. The list was pretty easy, actually, since there was really only one true contender for the match of the year, and I didn’t see anything from Japan or ROH. So it’s pretty much WWE exclusive, and pretty much RAW-exclusive because Smackdown got so bad I stopped watching that, too. But hey, it’s an easy column, so here’s my picks for the best matches from the past calendar year that are worth your time to track down”¦

10. Eddie Guerrero v. Rey Mysterio, Smackdown 3/18/04.

Kind of a forgotten classic to start the list off, as newly crowned champion Eddie Guerrero defended against Rey Mysterio after a gauntlet type series on Smackdown, and the result was one of the best matches on free TV this year. Not quite the equal of their MOTYC in 1997, but still a damn fine TV match and the match that should have kicked off a great reign for Eddie, showcasing a new kind of main event style.

– Smackdown World title: Eddie Guerrero v. Rey Mysterio. Eddie grabs a headlock to start and they trade armdrags, and it’s a stalemate. Back to the headlock, and Eddie hangs on through an escape attempt by Rey. Rey snaps off a rana for two, and a sunset flip for two. Headscissors puts Eddie on the floor, but he heads right back in again and tempers heat up. Rey grabs the headlock, but Eddie counters him into the corner and hammerlocks the arm on the mat. Into the armbar, but Rey makes the ropes. Eddie takes him down again and goes back to the armbar, really wrenching on it. Rey reverses with a snapmare and monkeyflips Eddie, but gets dumped to the apron, then recovers with a headscissors to put Eddie on the floor. He follows with a crazy quebrada, and we take a break. We return with Eddie getting a superplex for two. Eddie slides Rey onto the floor, and back in he gets a backbreaker for two. Eddie goes to a hangman submission hold, using the bad arm for leverage, but Rey flips into a small package for two, so Eddie clotheslines him down for two. Back to the arm with a bridged hammerlock, and this is some seriously cool stuff. Eddie stomps him down and gets two, and goes back to the arm. Rey fights out and hits him with a springboard DDT, and that gets two. Springboard butt splash gets two. Quebrada is caught by Eddie, but Rey DDTs him for two. He goes for a rana, but Eddie counters with the rolling verticals. Rey counters to a rollup for two, but gets shoved into the corner on the kickout, thus hurting the arm again. Eddie finishes the suplex and goes up, but misses the frog splash, and Rey dropkicks him into the 619. He drops the dime, but misses, and Eddie rolls him up for the pin with La Majastral at 17:53 to retain. Insanely hot TV match that had the crowd going crazy. ****1/4

9. The Rock & Mick Foley v. Evolution, Wrestlemania XX

Call me crazy, but this had three of my favorite wrestlers ever in it, out there having more fun than any human being should be having in a match that was supposed to be a blood feud between Foley & Orton. But considering how depressing the year would get, can you blame me for wanting a little fun now and then? Rock is the king, case closed.

– Rock & Mick Foley v. Batista, Randy Orton & Ric Flair. Great, coked-up promo from Rock before the match to really get the crowd going. Big brawl to start and the Rock & Sock clean house, as Evolution bail and regroup. Flair starts proper with Rock, and it’s no contest who the face is in the crowd’s mind. Hint: He’s not tattooed. Rock grabs a headlock and does some strutting, and Flair responds with chopping, so Rock slugs away and backdrops him out of the corner. Flair bails and Rock follows, so Flair goes to the eyes and walks into another backdrop on the floor, which Foley uses as a setup for the Cactus elbow off the apron. Back in, Flair lets Orton have a go, and now Foley wants in. Orton wants no part of that, so Foley follows and sends him into the table. Back in, Foley drops an elbow for two. He hangs Orton in the Tree of Woe and drops an elbow, and then Rock (my boy!) hits Orton in the nuts behind the ref’s back. That’s why I love him. Rock puts his head down and Orton kicks him in the tattoo, but Rock just gets more annoyed and goes after Flair, before getting pulled out of the ring by Batista and dropped on the railing. Back in, Evolution gets some shots in and Batista hammers him with knees in the corner as Rock is YOUR movie star in peril. Batista gets a back elbow for two. Flair comes in and cuts off a tag (“I don’t think so motherf*cker!”) then lays in the chops, possibly leaving bits of tattoo in the front row. One can only hope. Flair stops to strut, however, and gets hit with a lariat for his troubles. Flair tries to regroup by going up, but, you know. Batista cuts off another tag attempt, however, and pounds Rock with shoulders, but Rock gets another lariat out of the corner and brings in Foley. He hammers on Batista and gets a kneelift, but Batista blocks the double arm DDT. They slug it out in the corner, won by Foley, but he walks into a lariat and gets tossed, apparently making him YOUR best-selling-author-in-peril. It’s a mugging outside as Evolution goes nuts on him, and he gets whipped into the stairs. Orton gets two back in. Back to the heel corner, and Flair comes in with some chops, but gets suckered into a slugfest and loses. He prevents a tag, however, and Orton comes in with a camel clutch to keep Foley down. Foley elbows out, but Orton takes him down and brings Batista back in. Short-arm clotheslines and Batista goes ground and pound, but Foley counters with the Mandible Claw. The lack of footwear prevents it from finishing, however, and Orton is able to save. Flair comes in and lays in the chops, and Batista comes in, but puts his head down and gets hit with a neckbreaker. They clothesline each other and Flair gets a tag first and cuts off another tag from Foley, but Mick knocks him down and makes the hot tag to Rock. Flying forearm for Flair, DDT for Orton, and he’s a house afire! Orton gets dumped, but Batista hits Rock with a spinebuster and Flair has a bright idea — a Nature Boy Elbow. The crowd goes crazy for that, but Rock kips up and slugs him down, along with everyone else. Spinebuster and People’s Elbow for Flair, and that gets two. Flair thumbs the eye again and brings in Orton, but it’s Rock Bottom for him. That gets two. Rock stops to deal with Flair outside, but Batista lays out Rock with a clothesline and a demon bomb. Orton gets two off that. Another tag to Foley, and Orton is f*cked. Foley cleans house on Evolution and gets the DDT on Orton, but makes the mistake of going for the Socko, and walks into the RKO as a result, giving Orton the pin at 17:02. Good finish, great match, with all sorts of cool extended tag team formula stuff and crazy exchanges between Rock and Flair. Everyone was feeling it here. ****1/4

8. Chris Benoit v. Shawn Michaels, RAW 5/03/04

This was actually a very disappointing finish for a match that was supposed to be an all-time classic. We were basically promised that it was going to be one leading up to it, and while it was fantastic for a TV match, it was lacking a real finish and never paid off the promise that a Benoit-Michaels feud had been promising for nearly a decade. Well, Benoit could still get the title back, and god knows Shawn will get title shots until he’s dead, so maybe they can have the PPV classic yet. For now, there’s the Showdown in the Desert”¦

– RAW World title: Chris Benoit v. Shawn Michaels. Lockup to start and they fight into the corner a couple of times, no clean breaks, and a shoving match results. They exchange chops and Shawn takes him down with a headlock, but Benoit powers out, so Shawn takes him down and goes back to the headlock. Shawn takes him into the corner and throws a chop, but charges and hits boot, allowing Benoit to get the clothesline and a backdrop. He clotheslines Shawn to the floor and teases a highspot, but just brings him back in for a snap suplex instead. Backbreaker gets two. Nasty one, too. Shawn comes back with a neckbreaker. It appears to be “attack the surgically repaired area” night. Shawn drops an elbow on the neck and they slug it out, but Shawn gets the forearm and kips up. Benoit blocks the atomic drop with a crossface, but Shawn rolls out with a counter. Benoit goes back to it, but Shawn rolls out again and sledges him down. And we take a sudden break. Back with, well, nothing really going on. Shawn gets a suplex for two. He stays on the back and they slug it out in the corner, and that results in Benoit getting whipped into the corner. Shawn gets two off that. Backdrop suplex gets two. Benoit snaps off a small package for two. I love how he does stuff like that, just out of nowhere. Backslide gets two. Rolling cradle gets two. Shawn comes back with an atomic drop to break up the momentum and clotheslines him down again. Shawn slams him a couple of times and goes up with the flying elbow, and that sets up the superkick. Benoit ducks it and hits the rolling germans, just suplexing the shit out of Michaels, and it’s HIS turn to fly. Shawn starts to get up, so Benoit opts for ANOTHER german suplex and goes up again, but misses the headbutt. Apparently four isn’t enough to keep Shawn down. It’s a double count, and Shawn rolls over for two. Back up to the top, but Benoit slugs him off and then kills him with chops until he drops to the apron. Crazy. Benoit keeps hammering on the apron and tries a suplex, but Shawn blocks and gets his own, suplexing Benoit over the top and to the floor. He goes up and follows with a moonsault, smashing his knees into Benoit’s head. Ouch. Back in, Benoit tries to post Shawn, but gets sent into it himself. Crowd’s pretty split between both guys, and Benoit starts bleeding, as we take ANOTHER break. That’s a little excessive. OK, so back again, and Shawn gets a standing dropkick for two. Another backdrop suplex gets two. Benoit fires off knees into another german for two, however. They exchange chops, but Shawn trips him into a Liontamer (Walls of Jericho, whatever) and does it better than Jericho. Benoit makes the ropes. Shawn drops an elbow on the back and throws more chops in the corner, but Benoit whips him into the corner to set up another crossface, and this one Shawn doesn’t just roll out of. Shawn is made of sterner stuff, however, and makes the ropes. Benoit goes right back to it, but Shawn makes the ropes again. Shawn tries a quick superkick, but Benoit is quicker, catching the foot and taking him down for a Sharpshooter, but Shawn scurries to the ropes. Benoit jerks him back to the middle and tries again, but Shawn counters and bumps the ref. The fans look for the run in. That’s the danger of that stuff. Both guys make it up and Shawn fires off the superkick first (with Benoit doing his usual great sell), but it’s the prescribed HHH run-in, as it’s KICK WHAM PEDIGREE for Shawn. And I had such hopes for him behaving himself lately. Benoit crawls over and gets the pin at 28:28, since the Pedigree kills you dead for hours, of course. Me no likee the finish, especially since they’re supposed to be making Benoit look like he can stand on his own. Still, everything from the first break onwards was awesome stuff. ****1/4 Not quite the Match of the Year contender hyped in the buildup in a year with Benoit v. Michaels v. HHH, but still a great TV main event.

7. Randy Orton v. Mick Foley, Backlash

Although I rated it a bit lower initially, I’d have to rate it higher here because it had more overall impact, and made Orton into a superstar, and that’s kind of the point. Plus I was there live, and anything that makes Shane McMahon mark out deserves at least #7.

– Intercontinental title: Randy Orton v. Mick Foley. Randy’s pathetic little barbed-wire 2×4 is kinda sad, really. Foley attacks with the real one to start, pounding him into the corner until he bails, and they do a chase outside the ring until Orton is able to take him into the stairs. He gets the bat and they fight over it, but Foley wins that battle, so Orton clobbers him with a garbage can. He charges with it one time too many, however, and gets it kicked back in his face for his troubles. Back in, Mick stomps him down and chokes away, setting up the kneelift and a legdrop that gets two. To show you the miracle of WWE camera work, from our position that legdrop missed by a foot, literally, but looked fine with the quick cut. Baseball slide puts Orton on the floor, and he follows with a neckbreaker. Foley goes up, but Orton evades any potential big elbows being dropped. They fight up the ramp, but Orton suplexes him there for two. Backslide gets two. I guess that was more for the surprise factor. With scientific wrestling not working, he slams Foley’s head back into the ramp and gets two. Back to ringside, where Foley meets the stairs, and Orton brings him back in and tries to introduce him to the barbed-wire, but Foley fights him off and goes low to escape. He brings forth the sock, but then polls the crowd on whether they’d rather see that or the bat, and the bat wins. There’s a certain charming element of total insanity there that you’d don’t see in normal sports. Orton eats the barbed-wire and starts bleeding, and Foley drops an elbow with the bat. He works on the cut and slugs away in the corner, then follows with the running knee to the face. Then he rubs the bat into Orton’s face for good measure, sending him scurrying. Mick keeps on him with the barbs and the wire and the hurting, and then takes it to the NEXT LEVEL by legdropping the baseball bat onto his crotch. Shane McMahon was going APESHIT at this point, by the way. So was I. Foley heads out for a gas can and a lighter (throw in some booze and you’ve got a PARTY!), but Eric Bischoff threatens to stop the show if he lights the bat. So Mick tosses it aside and uses a baking sheet instead. And then he finds a barbed-wire covered plywood sheet. Shane is nearly jumping up and down on his seat at this point. Foley slugs him into position, but gets powdered and slammed onto the table. Well, he’s the one who brought it in. Orton gets two off that. Orton puts the sheet in the corner and they reverse each other until Foley inevitably ends up getting whipped into the barbed wire. Orton drops the barbed wire on him for extra incentive. And speaking of incentive, Orton dumps a bag of tacks on the mat. Orton tries an RKO, but Foley dumps him onto the tacks. Jesus, even HHH wasn’t crazy enough to try that spot. The tacks are EVERYWHERE, stuck into Orton’s HAND and back, and Foley cradles for two. In moderation, those kinds of sick spots are VERY cool. Orton retreats up the ramp, but Mick’s in no mood for moderation, so he brawls with him and then tosses him off the stage, through a table below. That’s even sicker considering he landed on the thumbtack-covered back. Foley, crazy man, follows with an elbow off the stage. The arena thought it was over at that point, but Orton kicks out at two. Back to the ring, where Foley DDTs him for two. He sets up the barbed-wire sheet in the corner again, but Orton nails him with the bat to draw blood, and then pounds him down caveman-fashion. However, age and guile defeat youth and power in this case, as Orton then walks into a Mandible Sock. He goes low to break. Foley goes back to the claw, but Orton escapes with an RKO. That gets two. Another one, onto the bat, gets the pin at 23:04. Orton was over bigtime with the crowd here after that. **** I liked it better live, because of the more visceral feelings of being there to see the beatings, but it was still a great coming-out party for Orton.

6. Eddie Guerrero v. Brock Lesnar, No Way Out

Sadly not the rocket into the stratosphere that we all thought it would be for Eddie, this is still an awesome big v. little match, although one that I don’t love as much as others seem to. For sheer emotion from Eddie and heat from the crowd, it’s great, but there were better matches. Still, everything from here on is ****1/2 or better, so this is the elite level now.

– Smackdown World title: Brock Lesnar v. Eddie Guerrero. Brock overpowers him to start and hammers on him in the corner, into a monster backdrop. Snap suplex, but Eddie slugs back and elbows him out of the corner. Brock knees him down and blocks a rana with a spinning powerbomb. That was pretty dangerous. Overhead suplexes and Brock gets a high knee in the corner and another overhead suplex that puts Eddie on the floor. Eddie trips him up and posts the leg, however. Brock powers him back into the post, however, and gets the fisherman’s suplex to retake control. He grabs a sleeper, but Eddie escapes, only to get pressed. He escapes that too and clips Brock, but Brock gets the lariat. He follows with a slightly botched german suplex. Brock pounds away in the corner, but misses a charge and rams his knee into the corner. Nice callback to the high knee earlier. Eddie works on the knee and gets a backdrop suplex. Brock chokes him out, however, but Eddie sneaks in with a heel hook, which he turns into an STF to a big pop. Nice spot. Brock powers out, so Eddie rams the knee into the mat and goes back to work on it while Brock tries to fight him off. Eddie goes for what looks like a Nagatalock, but Brock fights him off again. And again. Eddie keeps coming, and it costs him, as he walks into a belly-to-belly. He tries a suplex, but Eddie counters with a headscissors and dropkicks the knee again. This time it’s a figure-four, and that crowd is all about that. Brock makes the ropes, however. Eddie goes right back to the knee and goes into a half-crab now, and another STF. Brock powers out again. There’s some really swank psychology going on here. Brock comes back with another german suplex, as the power v. technical battle continues, and Eddie walks into a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER. That gets two for Lesnar. Brock goes to the chickenwing on the mat, into a sleeper, but Eddie powers him into the corner to break, but misses the missile dropkick. Brock sells the leg as he gets a vertical suplex, bless his heart. He’s even got a bloody nose going. That’s my boy. Bodylock on the mat, which he turns into a gut-wrench suplex for two. Nice mat-wrestling as Brock rides him on the mat with bridges, into the bodylock again. Eddie fights up and headbutts out, then smartly dropkicks the knee again and takes Brock down with a headscissors. Brock misses a charge and Eddie comes back with the rolling verticals and goes up, but misses the frog splash. F5, but the ref gets bumped in the process. Brock grabs the title, but Goldberg runs in with a spear (apparently having broken the handcuffs) and Eddie gets two. And since the belt is still there and it’s Eddie, he tries to hit Brock, but it misses and Brock goes for the F5. Eddie counters to a DDT in mid-move, however, hitting the belt on the way down, and the frog splash does the impossible and wins him the World title at 30:06. Two PPVs, two Match of the Year candidates. Not bad. ****1/2 Thank god they finally put someone new over.

5. Eddie Guerrero v. Kurt Angle, Wrestlemania XX

Speaking of Eddie, he managed to follow up his title win with a match at Wrestlemania that would have been a MOTYC in any other year, but wasn’t even the match of the SHOW at XX. That’s pretty scary, actually. And in one of the nicest continuity touches in recent memory, the finish of this match was actually mirrored by their Summerslam rematch. That ain’t not bad.

– Smackdown World title: Eddie Guerrero v. Kurt Angle. If Eddie’s new Scarface shirt doesn’t jump to the top of the sales charts, there’s something seriously wrong with the world. Lockup fight to start and Angle grabs a facelock, but Eddie takes him down and rides him. Angle wins that battle, going back to the headlock, and Eddie breaks as we start over again. Angle tries to shoot in, but Eddie fights him off, so Angle goes to the headlock and they work off that, and the crowd is suddenly 50/50 for Angle. Eddie tries the headlock now and Angle reverses and overpowers him. Eddie goes back to the headlock and overpowers Angle a few times, and now Angle bails. Crowd is right with this, showing that the reeducation might be taking. Back in, Angle goes to a facelock, but Eddie takes him down out of that, and it’s more mat wrestling as Angle switches back to the facelock again. Good stuff. Kurt takes him down out of that and gets two. Kurt tries a suplex off that, but Eddie counters and starts throwing armdrags, into an armbar. Angle powers up as they fight over a wristlock, so Angle uses a knee to the gut to break free and goes to an abdominal stretch to immediately work on the ribs. Nice bit of psychology there. Eddie reverses to a suplex, but Angle reverses to his own german suplex, as neither guy is able to get the rolling version. Eddie heads to the apron and Angle teases a german suplex off the apron, but Eddie hangs on tight. Angle falls off , so Eddie dropkicks him off the apron and follows with a dive that misses, and he splats on the railing. Back in, Angle gets two. Angle with a backbreaker for two. He works the ribs in the corner and goes to a bodyscissors on the mat. Crowd is still right with them. Eddie escapes with a jawbreaker, but walks into a hotshot, as Angle drops him on the ribs and gets two. Overhead suplex, times two, gets two. Angle goes to a bearhug on the mat, continuing to work on the ribs, but Eddie pokes him in the eyes to break. He walks into another overhead suplex, however, and Angle gets two. Kurt puts him on top, but Eddie fights off the Pop Up Superplex twice, then misses the frog splash. That can’t be good for the ribs. Angle recovers first and kicks the crap out of him in the corner, then pounds him down, and Eddie is all BRING IT ON. He fires back and gets a back elbow and clothesline, then dodges a blind charge and gets a backdrop suplex for two. Vertical suplex is countered by Angle with the rolling germans, but Eddie reverses to a rollup for two. Angle kills him with a clothesline to end that rally. Angle Slam, but Eddie reverses to an armdrag and makes the comeback with a headscissors. Rolling verticals , but Angle casually takes him down into the anklelock. Eddie powers out and dropkicks Angle, but goes up too slow and gets hit with the Pop Up Superplex, for two. Angle pulls down the straps and goes back to the anklelock, but Eddie counters that with a rollup for two. Back to the german suplex to set up another Angle Slam, but Eddie reverses that one to a DDT and goes up with the frog splash, for two. Eddie’s reversals are crazy. Eddie goes for the kill, but Angle was faking, and it’s another anklelock. Eddie looks like he’s going to tap, but he again manages to reverse, sending Angle to the floor. This time he loosens his boot, apparently to relieve the pressure ala Randy Savage in 1987, but when Angle comes back in and tries another anklelock, the boot slips off and a small package finishes for Eddie at 21:32. You know what was great about this match (besides everything)? It wasn’t just the usual cliché “main event style” with each guy hitting each other’s finisher and getting two-counts and stuff, it was about telling a story and building a flow, then paying off the intelligence of Guerrero to outsmart the overly aggressive Angle. ****1/2 Absolutely tremendous.

4. Chris Benoit v. HHH v. Shawn Michaels, Backlash

Well, the sequel hardly ever lives up to the original, but they sure gave it their best go with this one. Sure, my being there live might have clouded my judgment, but that’s my prerogative. Plus I got to see Shawn Michaels tap to the Sharpshooter, so huzzah. Not as great as Wrestlemania, but then not much is. Whether or not Benoit is “for real” in the long term, however, who knows.

– RAW World title: Chris Benoit v. HHH v. Shawn Michaels. Benoit brings the awesome by holding the belt in the faces of both challengers, just because he CAN. Some fans in the front row get on Shawn a bit during intros, but that’s nothing compared to the ambush we had in store for him later. Benoit attacks HHH to start and it’s a three-way slugfest in the corner until Benoit & Michaels work together for a backdrop and dump HHH. Shawn turns on Benoit and they exchange chops, which Benoit wins in intense fashion, and he kills Shawn with a lariat out of the corner. Shawn comes back with a neckbreaker, but HHH joins us again and slugs it out with Shawn. High knee puts Shawn down and HHH goes after Benoit next and tosses him, thus killing the crowd’s interest in the match as a whole. Shawn gets an atomic drop on HHH and slugs him down, but puts his head down and HHH goes for the Pedigree. Shawn escapes and they both knock Benoit off the apron again, but he makes it back in and throws a suplex on Shawn, and another for HHH. Back to Shawn, but he blocks, so Benoit chops them both down instead and backdrops HHH. Shawn throws his wussy chops again, so Benoit whips him out of the ring. HHH dives off the middle rope, but lands in a crossface. Benoit breaks to go after Shawn again, possibly because he’s still pissed about Shawn hitting like a girl. Back in, Benoit goes up, but gets knocked down by HHH and they slug it out on top. HHH tries a superplex, but Shawn breaks it up and Benoit hits the floor. Shawn takes HHH down with an electric chair and gets two. He slugs away on HHH, but walks into a facecrusher and both guys are out. Benoit sneaks in with a flying headbutt on Shawn, however, and gets two. HHH and Benoit slug it out and HHH loses that battle by getting tossed, but Benoit can’t suplex Michaels. The ref gets bumped on a forearm attempt by Shawn, and that allows HHH to go for the Pedigree, which Benoit reverses to a Sharpshooter attempt, but HHH fights him off. Benoit takes him down again and gets it this time, but there’s no ref. Shawn breaks it up, but gets taken down into a crossface as a result, so that was more of a pyrrhic victory. Benoit tries to revive the ref with no luck, but Shawn takes him down into a Sharpshooter as Earl Hebner runs out as the new ref. This was supposed to be heel heat, but it was more like “I can’t believe they’re doing this” heat, and it just made us more pissed off at everyone involved in Montreal. Shawn breaks the move and slugs away on HHH in the corner, and now begins the mother of all “You Screwed Bret” chants at Shawn as he gets two on Benoit. TV doesn’t even do the chant justice, as it was THUNDEROUS live. Even Shane was chanting it! Benoit takes him down into the crossface, which makes us all happy, but HHH breaks it up. I love JR & King doing their “get over it” speech to us, even though it was precipitated by a spot STOLEN FROM MONTREAL just five seconds earlier! HHH DDTs Benoit for two. HHH starts throwing chops, and now we get on HHH with “You tapped out”, which he seems to have inherited from Brock. Benoit comes back with chops and whips him out of the ring, but Shawn clotheslines him for two. Benoit fights back with chops, but gets tossed, so an annoyed Shawn goes up and overshoots, putting himself through the table with a crossbody attempt. HHH takes over on Benoit, whipping him into the stairs and bringing him in for a beating. Into the post goes Benoit, on both sides of the ring, and he hits the floor off the second one. Back in, HHH milks an “asshole” chant and slugs Benoit down again, into a camel clutch now. HHH pounds away in the corner, until Benoit hotshots him to break free, thus ending the only really weak part of the match. HHH gets a facecrusher, but walks into the rolling germans, and Benoit goes up, but misses the headbutt. Lawler notes that “showboats come crashing down to earth” before switching to a more apt metaphor about boats sinking. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE gets two, as Shawn revives and saves. Everyone is out, as HHH & Michaels revive first and slug it out, which no one cares about because they ain’t Benoit. Shawn gets the flying forearm and he’s filled with the PASSION OF THE CHRIST. Without the stigmata, or Mel directing. Shawn goes up with the flying elbow and tunes up the band, but the crowd won’t play along. Shawn takes it out on Benoit, superkicking him off the apron, which draws huge heel heat, but HHH goes low on him and gets two. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE, but Shawn reverses him out of the ring. HHH gets his trusty sledgehammer and hits Shawn in the back, right in the same spot as he did at Summerslam 2002 (nice touch, indeed). He overreacts the same way Bill does. Benoit tries to come back, but eats the stairs again at the hands of HHH. HHH sets up the stairs and tries a Pedigree on them, but Benoit catapults him into the post to remove him from the equation. Benoit heads back into the ring, nearly walking into a superkick from Shawn, but he catches the leg and takes him down into the Sharpshooter, as the crowd goes INSANE. Shawn makes the ropes, but Benoit pulls him back, and it’s Tap City, Population 1, at 30:09. Technical note: Nancy and the kids are seen at ringside, but they were only there for the previous insert and this match, as they left and were replaced by seat-fillers for the rest of the show. Couple of slow spots as compared to the non-stop action of Wrestlemania, but this stands as the second-best three-way ever. ****3/4 I’d say Benoit’s push is for real now.

3. AMW v XXX, TNA Turning Point.

Yup, TNA barges into the WWE’s exclusive party again this year, stealing the show with what would have been my MOTY in any other year. After redefining the cage match in 2003 and nearly topping THAT list, they tangle again on TNA’s second 3-hour PPV and damn if they don’t make me all happy to be a wrestling fan yet again. Nothing like a little crazy violence to keep me satisfied.

– Cage match: America’s Most Wanted v. XXX. Loser has to break up. Daniels starts with Storm and they exchange shots into the cage to start. Next up, Primetime and Harris, as Primetime gets a kick to the head before falling victim to a full-nelson slam. AMW double-teams him with a backdrop and then tees off on Daniels, and spike him into the cage. Daniels starts bleeding as AMW works him over, but Harris’s suplex is blocked by Skipper. XXX gets a double slam and Skipper slams Daniels on Harris. Daniels pounds him down, bleeding all the while. He clotheslines Harris down and XXX does some more double-teaming, and Skipper gets a mule kick in the corner and then kicks the knee out. Harris comes back with a catapult into the cage and brings Storm in, and he powerslams Daniels and kicks Skipper down. They set up for the Death Sentence, but Daniels breaks it up. Primetime hotshots Harris into the cage, and now we have double juice. Harris gets handcuffed to the corner, which pretty much leaves Storm alone and in trouble. They pound Storm down, and then use the handcuff key to inflict damage on Storm. Oh, that’s not nice. Storm goes into the cage and now it’s triple juice, as Harris yells “Give me the key!” at Daniels. Surprisingly, that doesn’t work. Maybe he should say please. Daniels goes up to add an elbow to Primetime’s body vice, and that gets two on Storm. Daniels goes back up, but hits Primetime by mistake, and Storm spears the key out of his hands. Harris gets the key and gets loose, and now he’s PISSED. Spinebusters result, and Storm goes nuts on Primetime, and then Harris rams Daniels into the cage a bunch of times. Then he suplexes him INTO the cage. That’s awesome. It gets two. PT comes back with a suplex on Harris and goes up for the Rockerplex with Daniels, and that gets two. Storm comes back with a neckbreaker on Skipper, and XXX meets the cage. Hart Attack from AMW gets two on Skipper. Harris keeps abusing Daniels via the cage, but it backfires and XXX send him into the cage. XXX sets up Harris for a Death Sentence and hit it for two. I hope they don’t let that kind of disrespect go without answering it. Daniels sends Skipper to the top of the cage, but Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF. Holy SHIT. That only gets two. Daniels gets the Angel’s Wings for two. And now Daniels climbs, but Storm follows him up, and then Skipper follows THEM up. Skipper then WALKS THE CAGE and gets the rana from the top of the cage. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. And now Daniels goes to the top of the cage and follows with an elbow from the top. But shit, how do you follow Skipper? Everyone fights in the corner and they do the stacked superplex from the top of the cage, nearly killing Daniels in the process. Oh man, this PPV deserves 50,000 buys just for this crazy shit. Skipper tries the play of the day on Harris, but it’s reversed to the Catatonic, so Skipper blocks and sends him into the cage. Storm slugs it out with Daniels in the corner and they fight on the top, which sends Storm to the mat again. Harris headbutts Daniels low, however, and knocks him down. And then irony rears her ugly face, as Daniels gets handcuffed, leaving Skipper all by his lonesome. Superkick and XXX’s own powerbomb/suplex finisher end things at 21:02, thus splitting up XXX. This was f*cking awesome, although having to follow the cagewalk rana was tough. ****1/2

2. Royal Rumble match

The Rumble is really tough to screw up, but this one was even more awesome than usual. Plus Benoit won, which was one of the rare occasions where the WWE didn’t tease us and then screw us over in the end. Even if he hadn’t won the title at Wrestlemania, I’d always have this. But he did, so this gets #2. Did I overrate it? Possibly. Do I care? If you have to ask”¦

– Royal Rumble: Chris Benoit is of course #1, and Randy Orton is #2. Since this is mixed brands, it’s JR & Tazz on commentary, and it’s a great team, showing that perhaps JR’s commentary problems stem from his partner. Benoit stomps away in the corner to start and gets a snap suplex, but Orton fights back in the corner and tries to push him out. Benoit knees him in the gut to break and Mark Henry is #3, with 90 second intervals as promised. Nice touch: There’s graphics with the number of entry this year, making it easier to keep track. Mizark goes after both of them, but walks into a chop. Orton tries the CLUBBING FOREARMS, but gets clotheslined down. Henry works Benoit over in the corner, as Tajiri is #4. Still 90 seconds. Tajiri trades kicks with Orton and gets the handspring elbow, but Benoit cuts in with a german suplex, and drops an elbow on the head. Orton gets tossed, but hangs on to climb back in. Orton pounds on Henry in the corner as Bradshaw is #5 with intervals increasing by a few seconds. He hits everyone with Clotheslines from Heck, but Benoit blocks it with a crossface. That’s why he rules. Bradshaw tries to power him out, but Benoit uses leverage to get rid of Bradshaw instead, at 5:27. Well, there’s always shower rape to console him. Orton throws an elbow at Henry as the interval is up to 100 seconds now, and Rhyno is #6. He goes after Orton & Benoit while Tajiri tries the Tarantula on Henry. That’s kind of dumb — hanging upside down in the Rumble. Rhyno goes for the Goar, but hits Tajiri at 6:53 to eliminate him, and Henry gets elbowed out by Benoit at 7:08. Replay shows that Tajiri misted Henry on the way by to blind him. Mattitude is #7 and he goes after the heels, hitting a Side Effect on Rhyno, but Benoit tosses him. Matt hangs on, however. Everyone pairs off and slugs it out. Rhyno tries to suplex Matt out and Scott Steiner is #8. He starts throwing clotheslines and suplexes on everyone, and goes for Benoit, but Chris returns the suplex favor with some germans. Matt almost has Orton out, but Benoit saves with a backdrop suplex, and Matt Morgan is #9. He immediately hits Benoit with the deadly sitout powerbomb, and no-sells Matt’s stuff to set up a big boot. Nash Choke in the corner on Orton and he works him over while Steiner tangos with Hardy. Morgan works over Hardy in the corner while Rhyno spits on Benoit. Hurricane is #10 and he comes in with a bodypress on Matt, but he’s Hurri-gone via Matt Morgan at 13:32. The real highlight is Steiner & Orton rolling around on the mat in what looks like a lover’s clutch. Benoit & Rhyno keep slugging it out. Hardy tries clipping Morgan, but he doesn’t know how to sell it properly. Booker T is #11, and hostilities with Steiner are renewed. Nice touch. Axe kick on Orton and he goes for Morgan, but eats a knee. Everyone slugs it out as Kane is #12. Steiner gets eliminated off-camera at 16:44 by Booker. Kane starts chokeslamming people and runs the table, but doesn’t toss anyone, as Spike Dudley (with Undertaker’s gong) is #13, and causes Kane to get dumped by Booker at 18:30. Kane gets his revenge and Spike never makes it into the match. Back in the ring, Benoit tries to get Hardy out, and Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno at 20:25 as Rikishi cleans house and gives Morgan the Stinkface. Booker elbows Matt down as the other four fight in the corners, and it’s time for more bodies, with Rene Dupree at #15. That dance is so gonna get over with time. He goes after Matt Hardy and they fight over a suplex, and Hardy gets dropkicked out at 22:28. Dupree follows via a Rikishi superkick at 22:35. How nihilistic. A-Train is #16 and he rekindles that hatred with”¦Rikishi? Well, he’s the biggest guy, so you can’t fault the logic. Benoit dodges a charge from Morgan and dumps him at 23:48. Thank god. Everyone gangs up on Train, but Orton turns on Rikishi and dumps him at 24:15, and then Booker T at 24:20. So we’re back down to Benoit, Train and Orton, and it’s time for another person. That’s TIGHT booking. Shelton Benjamin is #17 and Benoit dumps Train at 25:10 or so. Benjamin slugs Orton down, but misses a superkick and lands on the top rope, going bye-bye via Orton at 25:45 as a result. So it’s back down to 1 and 2 again, as Benoit gets a backdrop suplex and they collide for the double KO, and wouldn’t you know, time for another entrant. This proves to be Ernest Miller at #18, and he slows the match down with a dance party, until Benoit & Orton redeem it by tossing both Miller and his butler at 27:46. And we’re back to SERIOUS contenders again, as Kurt Angle is #19. JR notes that Orton needs to “make hay while the sun is shining” to which Tazz replies “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” THANK YOU. Benoit and Angle immediately bring it on, while Orton sits in the corner and defers to their better judgment. That’s a very nice touch. Benoit chops away and elbows him out of the corner, but gets clotheslined. Vertical suplex by Angle and he tries get Benoit out, but Orton breaks it up. Rico is #20 and he gets pounded by Orton right away, but comes back with the corner kick and some groping. Orton hits him with the RKO while Benoit fires off germans on Angle, and Orton casually dumps Rico at 31:12. Benoit goes up, but Angle crotches him and tries to send him out, as Test is supposed to be #21, but someone has attacked him. And that someone is sent out by Austin to take his place. And that someone is”¦MICK FOLEY. Orton understandably shits the proverbial brick, as Foley goes nuts on him and beats the tattoos off him in the corner. Cactus Clothesline eliminates both guys at 33:46, but that’s good enough for Mick. They continue brawling outside as Christian is #22. The focus remains on Foley & Orton, as Orton finally catches a break with a pair of chairshots and they brawl up the aisle, allowing Foley to go for Mr. Socko. Meanwhile, Nunzio is #23, so Foley gives him the Sock, while Orton hits him in Mr. Cocko on the way back to the dressing room. Nunzio hides out on the floor while the other three do their thing inside, with Benoit and Christian trying to get Angle out. Stick together, Canucks! Angle fires off a german on Christian, and one for Benoit, but can’t get Christian out. Big Show is #24, and he goes right for Angle, and then deals with the other two. He pounds Angle down and tosses Christian around, and Jericho is #25. He saves his compadre from Angle and they work him over in the corner, but Show intervenes and rams them together. Show headbutts Jericho down and pounds him in the corner, and now everyone gets smart and goes after Show. 4-on-1 isn’t quite enough, and Show is able to fight them off. Charlie Haas is #26, but Vitamin C hit him with a double-suplex on the way in. Christian & Jericho toss Benoit, but he hangs on. Then Christian turns on Jericho and tosses him, but HE hangs on, and then backdrops Christian out at 42:48. Angle gets a german suplex as Billy Gunn is #27 and he comes in with the Dumbasser on a few people. Everyone pairs off as it slows down a bit, with Jericho getting a backdrop suplex on Angle and then going after Show, but Benoit saves with a german suplex. John Cena is #28, and he brings Nunzio out of his hiding place, but gets jumped by Show as a result. Nunzio then goes after Show, which is kind of dumb, and gets nowhere. Cena tries next while Benoit scraps with Nunzio, and RVD is #29. He goes after Show, as seems to be the trend, but he can’t organize another try at getting rid of him. Everyone slugs it out as Cena gives Angle the F-U, and Goldberg is #30. Time to get rid of the dead weight. Spear for Show! Spear for Gunn! Powerslam for Haas. Nunzio attacks and gets Haas eliminated indirectly at 48:39, but then gets speared for his troubles. Gunn is Billy Gone at 49:00. Nunzio flies Air Italy out of the ring at 49:05. However, Brock runs in with an F-5 on Goldberg to pop the crowd, and Angle dumps Grizzly Adams at 50:15 while he’s being all intense. So amazingly we have Benoit, Jericho, Angle, Cena, RVD and Show left. They make another try at getting rid of Show on the ropes, but you can’t fight gravity and he won’t go. Next tactic sees everyone hitting their finishers in succession, starting with the Lionsault and going frog splash, Five Knuckle Shuffle, flying headbutt, and Angle Slam. Show is still in it, however, so now Angle organizes a team carry, but that’s just wishful thinking. Show gets angry and tosses Cena at 53:02. RVD gets fancy and gets gone at 53:21. Jericho gets tossed and hangs on, as our final four is Jericho, Benoit, Angle and Show. How about THAT? Jericho is backdropped out again, but slides in again. Show tosses him into the corner, but Jericho comes back with a bulldog and goes for the Walls of Jericho. That seems a little counterproductive. Angle breaks it up and fights with Jericho on the ropes, but Show saves for Angle and chokeslams Jericho out of the ring at 55:11. Down to three. Angle walks into a sideslam, and Show chokeslams Benoit following that. Show fights off Angle’s suplex attempt, but falls victim to the Angle Slam, and Benoit gets more of the same. Angle takes a poll from the fans as to who to go after, and Show is lucky winner of an anklelock, which is of course meaningless. Show powers him to the ropes and Angle hangs on too long and gets eliminated at 57:40. So now Benoit is faced with having to eliminate single-handedly the guy that 5 people couldn’t get rid of at once. He starts by headbutting him back into the ring, but walks into a chokeslam, which he counters into the crossface. Again, that’s for nothing, as Show powers out and sideslams him. Show goes for the kill with a press-slam, but Benoit counters to a standing guillotine choke and hangs on. He pulls Show to the apron with that and won’t let go, and gravity proves to be Show’s enemy, as he passes out and falls out at 61:37 to make Benoit the winner and the recipient of the title shot at Wrestlemania XX. I was marking out like nuts last night and initially was thinking ***** because of the excitement and brilliantly tight booking, along with the great story of Show being the monster that no one could eliminate until Benoit figured it out, but after watching it again”¦I still loved it. HA! Fooled ya! It’s still *****, and the best Rumble I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen ‘em all.

And the best match of 2004″¦

1. HHH v. Shawn Michaels v. Chris Benoit, Wrestlemania XX

Like you even needed to ask. What is probably now my favorite moment in all of my wrestling fandom, and one of my favorite matches ever, Sees Chris Benoit finally paying off years of jobbing and suffering due to politics and height disadvantage. People always said that he was too small to be a main eventer and he’d never be World champion in the WWE, but guess what? He COULD be champion, and he was for six months, and I’ll always have that. This also showed that HHH could still turn it up if need be, and stands as probably the greatest three-way match in the history of wrestling. And probably the greatest Wrestlemania main event in history. That’s a great f*cking match, y’all.

– RAW World title: HHH v. Shawn Michaels v. Chris Benoit. Despite weeks of crappy booking, Benoit is clearly the crowd favorite here, as MSG’s traditional hatred of Shawn has kicked in again full force. And what’s with the white boots on HHH? Did Steph buy them for Christmas and withhold sex unless he wore them or something? On the upside, the gay bicycle shorts are gone and HHH is back to regular tights again. Shawn goes after HHH to start, but Benoit pulls him away and they fight over who gets to fight. Benoit takes him down immediately and starts chopping Shawn, to the delight of the crowd, but Benoit whips Shawn into HHH and slugs away. Shawn takes him down with a headlock, and they do the pinfall reversal sequence off that, and Benoit crosses Shawn up with another crossface attempt, which Shawn reverses for two. Northern lights suplex gets two for Benoit, and Shawn clotheslines him down, but HHH returns and lays Shawn out. He tosses Shawn, who skins the cat back in while Benoit pounds HHH, but Benoit gets dumped. Shawn backdrops HHH and throws some chops, but walks into a high knee, which gets two. Benoit fires away with shoulderblocks from the apron, but hits knee and gets sent into the apron by HHH afterwards. Shawn hits both of them with a baseball slide and follows with a moonsault. Guys with torn ACLs probably shouldn’t be doing that. Back in, Shawn gets two. He throws chops on HHH , but puts his head down and eats knee. Pedigree is broken up by Benoit, who goes right for Shawn again with knees, and sends him into the post. Snap suplex and he fires the chops, but HHH sends him into the corner and puts him on top, hanging him in the Tree of Woe to keep him occupied for a bit. HHH whips Shawn into Benoit, and gets two on Shawn. Now why hasn’t anyone thought of that before in a triple-threat match? Another try is reversed, and Shawn rolls up HHH for two. They slug it out and Shawn gets the forearm and kips up, but Benoit promptly clotheslines him over the top to get rid of him. Rolling germans on HHH follow, and he does the SNOT BLOW~! and goes up, only to get crotched by Shawn. Shawn tries to superkick HHH, but it backfires and he gets DDT’d, leaving Benoit hanging on the top. HHH & Benoit slug it out on top, leading to a superplex on Benoit for two. HHH pounds him on the mat, but Benoit fights back, winning a slugfest, but puts his head down and HHH goes for the Pedigree, but Benoit reverses to the crossface, which HHH is able to fight off until Shawn can save. Shawn hits Benoit with an attempt at rolling germans, drawing big boos, so Benoit reverses to his own, which the crowd enjoys more. Back up for Benoit, and the flying headbutt gets two. Shawn knocks him out of the ring with a forearm and comes back on HHH with clotheslines and a slam to set up the flying elbow, and the superkick gets two, as Benoit saves. They all brawl outside and Shawn brings Benoit back in and starts chopping. Benoit reverses him into the corner and takes him down with a catapult into the corner that triggers a gory bladejob, so fast that I couldn’t even see him do it. Benoit takes him down for another crossface, but HHH prevents him from tapping. Benoit and HHH fight outside and head over to the tables, where Benoit gets whipped into the stairs and HHH preps the announce tables. Benoit comes back on HHH, but Shawn recovers and joins them, and Benoit takes a double-suplex through the Smackdown table as a result. With Benoit apparently out of the equation, Shawn calls HHH into the ring while dripping blood everywhere. He’s about 1.0 Muta at this point. He slugs away on HHH and whips him over the top, into a cameraman, and HHH eats post and starts bleeding too, because apparently that’s what all the cool kids are doing at Wrestlemanias these days. Back in, Shawn slugs away, but HHH hits him with the Pedigree as the crowd starts going nuts for Benoit to recover and make the save. HHH gets two, and as desired by MSG, Benoit makes the save. Benoit starts chopping HHH, but HHH goes for the Pedigree, so Benoit reverses to the Sharpshooter. The pop for that would be massive if it was the finish. Sadly, it’s not, as Shawn saves with a superkick. He gets two on Benoit. He goes for the kill, and the crowd chants for Benoit as he sets up for the superkick (ouch, that’s gotta hurt), but Benoit dumps him. He looks like he’s gonna walk into a Pedigree, but he reverses to the Crossface in mid-move. HHH fights it and almost makes the ropes, but Benoit pulls him back. HHH tries one last desperation reversal, but Benoit holds on, and Edmonton goes insane as HHH taps to the crossface to make Chris Benoit the World champion at 24:46. Best three-way match I’ve ever seen, and although that’s not usually saying much, this was truly special, with HHH doing the right thing and everything hitting perfectly on all cylinders. If you can find a fault with this match, you’re nuts. *****

So there you have it for another year, and hopefully we’ll have another 10 candidates at the end of 2005, because it was sure looking like we wouldn’t this year. Well, there’s always Gene Snitsky to carry the load, I guess.