And…we’re back. Hopefully, you enjoyed the Olympics as much as I did!! Honestly, I’m a little sad to see them go. Still, if it means we once again get to catch up with Ted and co on the search for true love, I guess I’m all for extinguishing the flame for another two years.
Note to self, start working on London tickets. ;)
Ted tells the kids that in most of his stories, he’s a “starry-eyed romantic.” In this one, he’s “just a jerk.” This time around, he’s dating a girl named Tiffany. It’s the first night she’s coming up to the apartment, and the gang talks about the perfect bait to get a girl upstairs. Barney, of course, has used everything from a slot machine (too much fun) to a trampoline (too dangerous) before finally settling on a teacup pig. Ted doesn’t think it’ll work, but when Robin and Lily go bonkers, Barney agrees to lend it to him.
Tiffany (Carrie Underwood) also goes a little cutesy-pie on the pig. Then she tells Ted that her boyfriend would also love the piggy. She tries to explain, badly, but then tells Ted that basically she doesn’t want to lose him. The gang tells him that he’s totally on the hook. It’s happened before. Marshall had a hook-girlfriend in high school that actually stepped over him when he went over to declare his feelings for her. Scooter, the ex-boyfriend who showed up at Lily and Marshall’s wedding trying to win her back, is still on the hook for Lily. Bonus, he works at the school, too. After several tries, she finally succeeds.
Awkward! Marshall’s not jealous, but he thinks that Lily needs to straighten Scooter out. He only took the job because he thought he had a chance with Lily. She kind of “right now’d” him (as in “I can’t be with you…right now”), but she’ll definitely straighten him out. Marshall borrows the pig to help Lily break up with Scooter for good. If she can break up with the pig, she can break up with Scooter.
At the end of the night, Ted is sitting at the bar with Barney, watching the door because Tiffany said she’d “try to stop by.” (Like I haven’t been there before). Barney’s trying to convince him to let her go because she’s “the devil,” but then Tiffany shows up with a bunch of hot coworkers. Barney, as you might imagine, changes his mind rather quickly. Barney guesses correctly that Tiffany was a pharmaceutical sales rep since that’s the current “hot girl” profession. She still hasn’t dumped the boyfriend, but Barney’s got plans for the rest of the pharma girls.
The next day at the bar, Ted claims that Tiffany dumped the boyfriend. The girls claim that he’s still on the hook. It’s just like the girl from the library that’s on Ted’s hook. Her name is Henrietta, and she’s a nice little ego boost. Everyone’s got one. Ted says that he’s going to hang out with Hen tonight as friends, but the second he gets there, Tiffany calls about an out of town wedding. Ted races to meet her and is at the hotel pouring champagne when Tiffany walks in with Jack, the best man and an ex-turned-new boyfriend of hers. She totally forgot to call him. Ted realizes that he’s on Tiffany’s hook; that Tiffany’s on Jack’s hook; that Henrietta’s on Ted’s hook; and some geek is on Hen’s hook. He breaks up with Tiffany for good and walks out.
Lily and Marshall head to the cafeteria to break up with Scooter. She tells him and is holding strong, but Marshall keeps yelling “Right Now.” He’s too cute and, as Marshall points out, he’s not going to live forever.
Robin and Barney are at the bar talking about the pharma girls when one of the hot ones introduces a middle-aged, slightly-heavier woman. She’s the newest pharma girl. To Barney’s ultimate dismay, the era is over. The hot pharma girl society is slowly going the way of a “Southwest crew from Albuquerque to Little Rock.” He’s so sad.
Ted, still in his tux from the wedding, heads to Henrietta’s to let her off the hook. Just after he knocks on the door, he drops a ring, and leans down on one knee to pick it up. I think we can all agree that that’s a bad idea. He remembers picking up Jack’s jacket on the way out of the room, so while it makes no sense that Jack would have the engagement ring and not the wedding ring, that’s what Hen sees when she answers the door. She says “yes” immediately and calls for her parents. It’s brutal, but Robin agrees that it’s better to be honest. When Mike walks in, she agrees to break up with him…as soon as he’s done with her laundry.
Bumper scene: Barney, Robin, and Ted are at the bar. Ted asks if Barney’s in mourning over the pharma girl thing. He’s actually not. He’s realizing that hope springs eternal. Though, the mystery bottle of purple pills he’d found in his couch certainly helps!
