The RAW Events
— OK, ok… I admit it, I was wrong about the Rose Bowl. It was a really close game and USC nearly still came out on top. But yeah, I hand it to Texas it giving the Trojans a game and actually pulling it out. I take the loss gracefully, but I still hang my head high and proud to say I root for USC! Hey you win some and you lose some. All I can say is that USC will be BACK in the national title mix next year, and that’s more than I can say for Texas now that Young (their ONLY playmaker on that damn team) is headed pro. You Texas fans should have tried a bit harder to keep him cuz it may look like Texas is in for another 36 year or whatever it was drought for another title. HAHA!! But hey, you win some… and you lose some, right!? Speaking of, we got a new Champion, don’t we!?!?!?
— Show starts off with Elimination Chamber review
Hershey, PA
Hosts: Joey Styles, King and The Coach
The MAIN Events
– Women’s Title Match: Ashley vs. Trish (C)
Mickey is ringside with Trish as this should be a quick and painless match. Both girls work on each others arms as Ashley puts Trish in a headlock but is reversed into a fireman’s carry. More Trish action occurs until Ashley blocks a head scissors take down and nearly picks up the pin until Mickey breaks it up to cause the DQ. Bickering ensues by the two lovely ladies.
Winner: Ashley (5)
– Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Rob Conway vs. Chavo Guerrero
From EL PASO, TEXAS!!!! Chavo comes out to a HUGE Eddie chant as I completely go blank for a while forgetting Conway’s name. But that’s probably because I was eating dinner through this match. But a few moves later, and the tribute of the three amigos followed up by the frog splash gives Chavo the win. Mmmmm spaghetti! I mean, Chavo.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero (2)
– Carlito & Masters vs. Shawn Michaels & Kurt Angle
You know is it me now or what, but isn’t it tie that they cut out that stupid and incredibly exaggerated long intro for Masters?? And you know, Masters continues to mess up matches for me as he’s in the ring with HBK and Angle!!! You suck! (And that’s not pointed at Angle). Sigh, I miss Monday Night Football already. Super kick connects on Angle as Masters locks on the Master lock for the win. Boring.
Winner: Chris Masters & Carlito (4)
– Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Val Venis
Shelton takes the early attack and are we seeing the second win of a win streak for Benjamin!?!? Shelton hides behind his mama to get the advantage and nails a big knee lift to Venis’ face and starts to slug away. Benjamin tries for the pin but Val has the ropes. Flair chops chip away at Benjamin’s chest as Val gets a few knockdowns and a 2 count! Whip kick misses for Shelton and spinebuster connects for Val as he goes up top but misses the money shot as Shelton misses the roll-up as well. T-bone gives the 1-2-3. Hey I don’t care what they say about his Mama, as long as Shelton keeps on winning, its fine with me.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin (1)
– Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Kane vs. Snitsky
Snitsky didn’t get an intro so you know who’s winning this one. Snitsky starts strong but fails fast with a chokeslam. And Kane warns us that is just the first casualty to his road to WM, and 29 await him on his way to RR.
Winner: Kane (3)
Quick HEAT
— Cena kicks off our show as he makes his way down to the ring. As Styles says Cena almost looks naked without the title… err, how does he know? And he gets a mixed reaction as he comes down as he talks about Edge’s money in the bank, which he won. And Cena actually acknowledges the fact that some of the crowd has been booing him. But some have been cheering him. And starts to compare himself to Allen Iverson as he doesn’t care who thinks he sucks, because they can kiss his ass. As he makes a choice to cash in his rematch clause tonight!
— The NEW err… um Lita makes her way out with the title instead of Edge. As she tells Cena that the rematch wont be tonight. Due to after some of Lita’s ‘oral’ persuasion with Vince, the rematch wont be until the Royal Rumble. But Edge will be doing something tonight with her, in the middle of the ring as both of them will get wild and have some downright nasty SEX!!!! Making sure Edge will last longer than Cena’s two minutes. Ouch.
Cena doesn’t let things end there, as he holds up Lita before leaving. And wants to let her know to tell Edge he made a good choice of cashing in his money in the bank. But also made a good choice of taking the rematch at the Royal Rumble as Cena will get back his WWE Title.
— The return of RVD is almost here! Royal Rumble
— Vince congrats Cena for the Chamber win, but apologizes from the lose to Edge. And pimps the Rumble title match. And also lets Cena knows he doesn’t want anyone to interfere with the live sex in the ring tonight. Again, err… ok.
— Masters confronts Carlito on the double cross from last nights Chamber match. Well if Masters is back in mid-card and to feud with Carlito, I guess that makes things a little better.
— This time Angle confronts HBK about last night.
— Shelton with his mama backstage and confront Val about his movies. And as Mama realizes Val does adult movies, she tells Val is gonna be going to hell tonight.
— Vince confronts Shawn backstage and sarcastically worries about HBK. And tells Shawn the he can trust in him to make the BEST matches as he puts HBK vs. Angle next week one on one in the rubber match.
— HHH takes a shot at Cena for losing the title. But he lets us all know AAGGAAIINN that he is the only constant on Raw. And again lets us know that he will go to the Royal Rumble and win the title at WM.
— Candace Michelle is playing in bed with Torrie and Victoria and uh… um… lol… yeah!
— Sex Celebration: The Champ is HERE! And that wasn’t me mocking that was Edge as he goes onto wonder why they bothered to go through the hells of the elimination chamber. As Edge was the smartest, seeking out his opportunity at the right time to win the title. And we get a flashback of Edge’s WWE career. And Edge admits he is AWSOME! But tonight, its about the celebration. So let the stripping of the shoes begin!! Which is the first to go, and slowly but surely the tops follow and so does everything else as the sneak into bed. But before any grinding can go on, Wooo! Flair comes out. But doesn’t last long as Edge nails him with the sstteeelll chair and sets him up on the announcers booth as Flair is busted up. Double conCHAIRto hits Flair out cold. And just cuz you knew it was coming, Cena comes out and runs Edge up the ramp leaving Lita alone… naked on the bed. So Cena takes the sneak peek and takes off the covers which reveals Lita is still clothed. FU ensues on Lita, giving the former champ the last laugh to end the show. Um, ok.
RAW Analysis
— Another decent show cuz yet again I’m just amazed at how much storyline the put into it with so little matches to compliment them (if you can compliment it). Even though at first glance, especially for any guy, the premise of the sex angle was um ‘interesting’, it just felt kind of odd, especially since they were hell bent on mentioning LIVE SEX every other minute. I think we got the message the first time you mentioned it. Then to top it off, yeah… you all knew there wasn’t going to be any. But yeah, disappointed on the quality and quantity of the matches tonight on the show. Not a must see show, and that’s kind of a downer especially since we got a new champ. Now all we gotta see if what they do with the title here on out to RR. Till the next EVENT I’m out. Peace. FIGHT ON!!
