There were no tapings this week for Velocity and Heat. Which means this weekend is recap filled. My original coverage of Velocity this week was rather thin thanks to it basically being a edited version of SmackDown. So, in order for it to be a bit more read worthy I’ve decided to try and bulk it up a bit in an entertaining manner. So, this week, Josh Matthews will be replaced by an Evil Scottish Demon, while Steve Romero shall be replaced with Carlotta. This has the makings for a sitcom I tell you!
We open Velocity with a recap of the Royal Rumble. Normally this would be a good – nay – great opening to Velocity if today’s episode was not a bloody recap of SmackDown this week.
Steve Romero (Carlotta) and Josh Matthews (Evil Scottish Demon) welcomes us to Velocity this week; and Romero dares calls the Royal Rumble incredible. I’d hate to see his version of terrible. Their congratulations go out to Rey Mysterio, who apparently set a record time in the Rumble. This takes us to the verbal shenanigans from SmackDown this week which opened the show. If you read a SmackDown recap or watched SmackDown itself, you know who interrupts. We get the entire damned segment I believe. What we did not see however, is that when Rey Mysterio left the ring, Divine Intervention helped him make sure he left the ring properly.
Coming up soon: a recap of the Tag Title Match from SmackDown!
Commercials.
We get MNM verses The Mexicools from SmackDown. Michael Fitzgerald gave that match about three stars. I gave it five out of ten. Although, I think the general feeling about Melina in this match is that she was looking grand. If Christy Hemme wasn’t the next Trish Stratus, then Melina would have been. Then Jillian Hall. How long until they put Jillian Hall into a legit feud, actually? Her and Trish Stratus would probably work very well together. But this is the Tag Team Division match, isn’t it? Here, to bulk up the report this week, is a little rant:
The Tag Team Division. The only problem I find with the Tag Team Division is that it’s split up over two brands. Put the ENTIRE Tag Team Division on SmackDown and there’d be no problems, as far as I’m concerned. Put Heart Throbs, Venis and Viscera, Tomko and Snitsky, and Kane and The Big Show over on SmackDown, unify the Tag Titles, and there – a good little tag team division. Well, it’d only be on Velocity at least.
Romero and Matthews say some more stuff about the Tag Title Match before we go to a commercial.
Commercials.
Sharmell, Booker T, and Theodore Long backstage segment from SmackDown. This resulted in hilarity off the charts and much more hillarity. On a side note: I’m sick of Sharmell introducing Booker T. Lets have her done something radical and totally unexpected; introduce Booker T’s opponents. Yeah, there’s a twist you didn’t see coming, did you?! Sharmell picking Booker T’s opponents for easy victories, until she accidentally picks someone who defeats Booker T for the title. I most certainly don’t want to see Chris Benoit verses Booker T again at WrestleMania, No Way Out maybe, but not WreslteMania unless there’s another person involved. Rey Mysterio maybe?
Romero and Matthews are back, with Romero noting the oddness of Booker T’s injury. Matthews reveals Booker T’s substitute to be Fit Finlay.
Now that I listen to Booker’s commentary closer; it was a nice touch to include Fit Finlay in this match. The real problem with this match however was all the cut aways between the actual match and the announcer’s table. If they were serious about putting Fit Finlay over more then this would have been his first match since his return and run a good twenty minutes with Booker T doing minimal commentary. But it wasn’t. So, shrug. Fit Finlay really isn’t growing on me; but if he made something great out of Trish and Victoria, then all the praise to him. Also, technically, since Chris Benoit won the match via DQ, shouldn’t he win the Championship as well? Yeah, I know title matches don’t work that way and titles don’t change on disqualification, but what about in this context? Also, correction regarding my SmackDown Report : It was Sharmell who nails Benoit with the crutch. Man was I tired when I wrote that.
Commercials.
. . . Lord. We’re back with Romero and Matthews arguing over descriptive words, since this all starts with Romero saying “the juniors division has taken a small break”.
We get a clip from the Junior’s Division Match. People were expecting this division to be about the younger wrestlers, meanwhile Dictionary.com notes one of the meanings of ‘Junior’ to be : Lesser in scale than the usual. Which means the WWE have a technical point with this division, which is awfully dash cunning of them.
Commercials.
And we’re back to Matthews talking about Gregory Helms being the new Cruiser Weight Champion. Which leads us to . . .
. . . The SmackDown interview which announces Helms Vs Nunzio this week for the Cruiser Weight Championship. I would have preferred they announce that for No Way Out. It couldn’t hurt, and with a little build up maybe people would begin to take Nunzio serious. Possibly.
Commercials.
We get a recap of Kurt Angle and Mark Henry from the Royal Rumble; Kurt Angle and the Under Taker from the Royal Rumble; and Kurt Angle and Taker from SmackDown. The match pictures for No Way Out look somewhat fun, at least.
We get Matthews and Romero hyping up the Tag Team Main Event from SmackDown before we get the clip.
You all know how bad the match is by now, right? You all know what happens by now, right? Randy defeats Rey and that leads to Rey accepting Randy’s challenge for No Way Out. Everything else is absolute rubbish.
Romero and Matthews hype up Randy as an arrogant asshole, as well as hyping up Gregory Helms verses Nunzio a lot considering who’s involved, before we’re over for this week.
Now you see why recap shows suck, correct? Until Friday, Ciao Yáll. Have a good week.
