The RAW Events
— Raw takes place overseas this Monday as we look for a few specific things, will “god” show up and save HBK again? How will Mr. Money in the Bank handle Shelton tonight? And what’s in store for the main event triangle? Oh and if you read any of the spoilers for the show (since it was pre-taped) shame on you!!You’re suppose to be watching this show. But if you did read the spoilers… boy do I envy you! Trust me, you guys were the lucky ones!
United Kingdom
Hosts: Joey Styles, King and The Coach
The MAIN Events
– Rob Van Dam & Charlie Haas & Carlito vs. Chris Masters & Matt Striker & Shelton Benjamin
For some reason, it feels like I’ve been grooming him for this day, but I feel so proud that Striker is making his rounds now in Raw. Carlito gets a huge pop walking out. And RVD has the briefcase spray painted in his colors and name. RVD take the match and along with his team clears the ring as RVD follows it up with a dive to the outside as we go to break. Nice little fun match that went by quickly, giving RVD the pin by five star frog splash onto Shelton.
Winner: Rob Van Dam & Charlie Haas & Carlito (1)
– Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels
Shane takes control of the match as Vince stands ringside. And this match actually takes a very fast paced momentum as Shane gets a flying moonsault, but misses as HBK rolls our of the way. HBK fires away with a few rights on Shano-O-Mac gets the flying clothesline. Elbow drop connects and HBK starts to tune up the band. HBK sets up Vince on the outside table and sets up to take another dive, but Shane takes the low blow, knocking him off the corner. Shawn is then the one set up on the table as Shane takes the flying elbow drop and connects through table. As the lights go off and Vince prays or something.
Winner: No contest (tied for last-4)
– Umaga vs. Jobber
AAE makes his way out (haha), and Umaga gets the early get go in the match against my no-entrance no-win theory jobber, and this goes pretty much the squash way as Umaga dominates the entire match for the win. After the bell, Ric Flair returns to get the jump on Umaga to clear out the ring.
Winner: Umaga (3)
– Spirit Squad vs. John Cena & Edge & Triple H
Edge is the first one in the match as he immediately gets double-triple teamed. HHH is the next one in as he settles things up and gets the tag into Cena. Cena gets the massive beatdown by all five members. And even on his second wind, the crowd either boos or gives no reaction as HHH gets the tag with the pop. Pedigree is set, but the numbers come in. Edge meanwhile just kicks back and watches the show as both the FU and the pedigree is hit at the same time. Cena and HHH then slug it out as Edge walks up the ramp with Lita as we fade out. Um, ok.
Winner: No contest (tied for last-4)
Quick HEAT
— The R-Rated superstar makes his way to the ring first to start off our show. And now it’s his turn to brag how he outsmarted both Cena and especially HHH in his own game, picking up last weeks win. It’s then HHH’s turn to come out and talk and of course Cena. We get the triangle love fest here between all three of them, nothing we’ve seen before the last two weeks. Spirit Squad show up on the screen and cheer how Vince has made tonight’s main event ANOTHER handicap match with the SS vs. Cena, HHH, and Edge 3 on 5.
— Maria is backstage, running into Striker at the same time. And supposedly there will be a Diva bikini contest or something. Well at least we get to see this tonight…. 
— We get another Kane segment to un-selfishly pimp his movie (which, I may be wrong, but I think it might be actually pretty decent). Big Show runs in and mentions May 19th and Kane beats him down from last weeks choke slam.
— Diva Bikini Contest: Okay, not much to say here other than, imagine all the Divas in a bikini. Oh yeah, Coach is the judge, Viscera runs in and does his usual shtick on Coach.
— HHH rags on Lita, asking advice since she knows how to take on five guys at once.
— Mickey James is next up on the quick heat list as she comes down to the ring acting very ‘normal’. She tells us all that she doesn’t have to act like Trish anymore because she is better than she ever was and she isn’t her. Trish then comes down, still in Mickey persona, and the cat fight begins. Trish hits the chick kick to get some counter back on Mickey.
RAW Analysis
— What the hell was that??? You know I feel bad for the people overseas with this show that they got tonight, or last week, whatever it was. I just wasn’t feeling it tonight. Four matches ONLY, one was a squash, and two of them we didn’t get a clear cut winner. Then the other one had Masters in it. So tell me, what was good about any of these? And is HHH now a face or what? I don’t know. And the ending, f*cking crap! From the last show, this one was very mediocre at best. Let’s hoping Backlash comes out better than this. Till the next EVENT, I’m out, peace!
