{"id":150283,"date":"2012-11-09T00:32:58","date_gmt":"2012-11-09T05:32:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wrestling.insidepulse.dev\/?p=150283"},"modified":"2012-11-09T00:32:58","modified_gmt":"2012-11-09T05:32:58","slug":"the-smark-rant-for-tna-impact-11-08-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/insidepulse.com\/2012\/11\/09\/the-smark-rant-for-tna-impact-11-08-12\/","title":{"rendered":"The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 11.08.12"},"content":{"rendered":"

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact \u2013 11.08.12<\/strong><\/p>\n

RIP Strikeforce.\u00a0 But if it means Ronda Rousey armbarring chicks into submission on FOX instead of Showtime, it’s worth the sacrifice.<\/p>\n

Live from Orlando, FL<\/p>\n

Your hosts are Todd Keneley (\u2026KENELEY!) and Jeremy Borash, then Taz & Tenay.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile<\/strong>, in the top secret Aces & Eights clubhouse, they chew out \u201cDOC” (The Director of Chaos) for losing his mask while still a prospect, which is like the mysterious biker gang equivalent of wearing white after Labor Day.\u00a0 I mean, geez, who DOESN’T know that you never lose your mask while you’re just a prospect?<\/p>\n

Bobby Roode v. AJ Styles<\/strong><\/p>\n

You know, for as interesting as the stipulation in the Roode\/Storm\/AJ three-way is, you have to hope that James Storm the person is smart enough not to bite on it if they tell him \u201cYou’ll lose here and then we’ll build you up for the big win next year at Bound For Glory!”\u00a0 You’d have to think it’s Roode beating AJ to get the shot.\u00a0 Anyway, Roode works a headlock on AJ to start, but walks into AJ’s dropkick.\u00a0 Roode comes back and hammers away in the corner, and we take a break.\u00a0 Back with Roode dropping AJ on the top rope and following with a BUFF BLOCKBUSTER for two.\u00a0 The announcers discuss the \u201cHire A Veteran” program advertised on the ring, which leads to me to wonder:\u00a0 Do the Monday Night Wars count?\u00a0 Because TNA hired a lot of those veterans and it didn’t really do much for them.\u00a0 Roode holds a chinlock, but AJ comes back with a corner splash and slugs away in the corner.\u00a0 Roode goes up and AJ brings him down with a rana for two.\u00a0 Roode hits him with a spinebuster for two, but misses the spear and AJ tries the Clash.\u00a0 Roode then evades the Pele and hits the fisherman’s suplex for two.\u00a0 Roode gets frustrated and grabs a chair, but that draws Storm out to protest, allowing AJ to hit him with a springboard to the floor.\u00a0 Back in, AJ tries another springboard, but Roode trips him up and pins him at 14:55.\u00a0 Mostly a PPV-quality opener.\u00a0 ***1\/4<\/p>\n

Joseph Park<\/strong> is out to let us know that the human body isn’t meant to go through tables, and unmasking DOC felt great.\u00a0 He needs to feel like a man, and only Hulk Hogan can make that happen!\u00a0 Wait, that sounds wrong.\u00a0 Hogan comes out, presumably to nix the match against Aces and Eights, but Bully Ray cuts him off and defends Park’s right to stand up for the company.\u00a0 Bully is just tremendous as a babyface here rallying the fans.\u00a0 So Hogan says \u201cYes”, and presumably we’ll get Park v. DOC at the PPV.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, <\/strong>ODB challenges Tara & Jesse to a match NEXT.\u00a0 Jesse is pretty hilarious as a deluded douchebag, but he’s just got nothing in the ring to back it up.<\/p>\n

ODB v. Tara & Jesse Godderz<\/strong><\/p>\n

ODB holds them both off, but Tara chokes her down until ODB makes the comeback with clotheslines.\u00a0 She slams both of them on each other and sends Tara headfirst into Jesse’s crotch to set up a broncobuster,then finishes Tara with a spear at 2:38.\u00a0 The heel beatdown follows to set up Tara & Jesse v. ODB & Eric at the PPV, assuming he shows up.\u00a0 DUD<\/p>\n

Meanwhile<\/strong>, the Gut Check judges talk about Christian York.\u00a0 And Snow’s jacket.<\/p>\n

Kurt Angle & Sting v. Devon & DOC<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sting pounds away on DOC to start, but gets taken down and pounded.\u00a0 Devon slugs Sting down in the corner and drops an elbow for two.\u00a0 DOC drops elbows for two.\u00a0 Suplex gets two.\u00a0 So is DOC named after the Billy Ray Cyrus show or the dwarf?\u00a0 Either way, it’s a dumb name for a supposed badass.\u00a0 Sting continues to get beat up in the heel corner.\u00a0 See, now we get into the fundamental problem with the Aces storyline once they’re unmasked, because you’re left with Reverend Devon and Festus as your big heel team while you tread water waiting for the reveal of the leader.\u00a0 Sting and DOC clothesline each other and it’s hot tag Angle, as he hits DOC with a missile dropkick and suplexes him to follow.\u00a0 Angle Slam on Devon gets two and Sting puts DOC in the Deathlock, but Devon brings in the bat for the DQ at 5:40.\u00a0 That cad.\u00a0 Nothing going on here.\u00a0 **\u00a0 Bully Ray is more than happy to come in and kick Devon’s ass, but can’t catch him.\u00a0 And then it’s another Aces beatdown on Sting and Angle, resulting in Sting getting chokeslammed through the table.\u00a0 And then they presumably break his hand with a hammer, perhaps having seen Casino one time too many and confusing him with a blackjack cheat in a fit of Red Bull-fueled hysteria.\u00a0 See, you people who want TV-14 back again in WWE?\u00a0 THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.\u00a0\u00a0 Like really, there’s suspension of disbelief with stuff like chairshots, but a hammer to the hand?\u00a0 With a camera angle clearly showing that it was missing by six inches?\u00a0 That’s just insulting.\u00a0 And then it’s like \u201cWell, a dude’s hands just got shattered by a hammer live on TV\u2026GUT CHECK IS NEXT!”<\/p>\n

Gut Check:\u00a0 <\/strong>Al Snow’s jacket deserves the contract moreso than York.\u00a0 Taz is an immediate Yes, Bruce thinks he’s lacking something but votes Yes, and we don’t even hear from Snow’s jacket.\u00a0 That was a no-brainer and he probably should have went over Zema Ion last week as well.\u00a0 Hopefully he can quit his job serving salad at the deli now. Or was that Mickey Rourke?\u00a0 Oh well, either way.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile<\/strong>, Hulk Hogan bans Matt Morgan from ringside at the PPV, and then smiles knowingly after he leaves.\u00a0 JUST KISS ALREADY.\u00a0 But for the love of god don’t let Bubba make a sex tape afterwards.<\/p>\n

Christopher Daniels, Kazarian & Magnus v. Chavo Guerrero, Hernandez & Samoa Joe<\/strong><\/p>\n

MEXI-JOE!\u00a0 Chavo pounds on Daniels to start and the poor guy gets pinballed in the babyface corner, as does Kazarian.\u00a0 Joe chases Daniels around and gets caught by Magnus as a result, and the heels take over.\u00a0 Joe decides to just beat the hell out of Daniels instead of selling, so that’s cool, and Chavo comes in with a senton to set up an overhead suplex from Hernandez.\u00a0 Chavo with a seated dropkick for two.\u00a0 He stops to lip off at Magnus, however, and Daniels hits him in the shoulder to make Chavo YOUR stereotype in peril.\u00a0 Kazarian gets two off that.\u00a0 Magnus slugs away in the corner and Daniels gets the GANGNUM STYLE neckbreaker for two.\u00a0 Kazarian with a legdrop for two.\u00a0 Kazarian works on the shoulder, but Chavo comes back with a flying headscissors and it’s hot tag Hernandez.\u00a0 Pounce for Daniels and he suplexes both heels and brings Joe back in.\u00a0 He boots Magnus down and powerslams him, but misses the corner splash.\u00a0 Magnus charges and Joe hits him with the uranage and it’s BONZO GONZO.\u00a0 Hernandez hits Daniels with the MEXICAN OUTTA CONTROL dive and Chavo bulldogs Magnus in the ring, but Kazarian distracts him.\u00a0 Joe puts Daniels in the choke, but the heels go high-low on him and Magnus finishes with a flying elbow at 10:50.\u00a0 Man, that turned into a hell of a match at the end.\u00a0 ***1\/2<\/p>\n

Main Event Interview:\u00a0 <\/strong>Austin Aries takes a shot at CM Punk being \u201cbest in the world” when clearly he’s best in the entire universe.\u00a0 I dunno, I hear there’s some developmental kids in the Beta Cygnus system that are knocking \u2018em dead. Anyway, Aries promises that Jeff will take his last great fall on Sunday, and he’ll personally melt the ugly Hardy belt down and turn it into a belt buckle so he can wear his face by his crotch.\u00a0 And if Jeff wants the real belt back, he can come take it like a man instead of hiding behind Hogan.\u00a0 So Hardy comes out, Aries runs away, and Jeff gets the belt back.\u00a0 And then as Jeff is posing on the ladder, Aries BLINDSIDES him\u00a0 That’s just great.\u00a0 Obviously he’s not winning the belt back again, but that was a satisfying visual to end the show.<\/p>\n

The Pulse<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have to say I enjoyed much more of the show than could be dragged down by the Aces nonsense, although they did a piss-poor job of clarifying what the actual matches involved in the Aces storyline were until the PPV hype segment.\u00a0 I would have guessed Bully & Park v. DOC & Devon, but I guess it’s Devon v. Angle and Park v. DOC and no Bully to be found.\u00a0 That’s kind of weird.\u00a0 Anyway, two great TV matches and a PPV I would totally buy if I wasn’t busy on Sunday already make for a thumbs up show this week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact \u2013 11.08.12 RIP Strikeforce.\u00a0 But if it means Ronda Rousey armbarring chicks into submission on FOX instead of Showtime, it’s worth the sacrifice. Live from Orlando, FL Your hosts are Todd Keneley (\u2026KENELEY!) and Jeremy Borash, then Taz & Tenay. Meanwhile, in the top secret Aces & Eights clubhouse, … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2082,7767,23,100142],"tags":[117300,108439,115233,110060,108073,110003,100023,112964],"zone":[121870],"series":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/insidepulse.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/insidepulse.com\/feed\/podcast\/inside-pulse","embedCode":"

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 11.08.12<\/a><\/blockquote>