Reality shows are not your father’s type of TV shows. They are faster paced for one thing, have no plot whatsoever and, perhaps above all – where regular TV shows are often a letdown, reality shows excel. There’s a payoff at the end of nearly every single episode.
Whether it’s Jeff Probst putting out a flame or some miserable boy-toy not getting a rose, you know someone is leaving this week, and you’ll keep watching because you hope it’s not your favourite.
And in reality TV, no one builds suspense quite like The Amazing Race.
See, in other shows you’re voted off an island, a mansion or a boardroom, but on The Amazing Race you get flown halfway across the world. There you can curse at drivers when they end up not knowing where the hell it is you want to go, and have to do missions that often involve great physical strength or something kind of scary. Then, to top it all off, having done all of that in the span of less than a day – you end up going home.
Another thing that sets apart Reality TV, and The Amazing Race within it, is type casting. Type casting is a very odd thing – whenever we see it in regular TV shows or movies, we complain. But I’m here to tell you that type casting is what MAKES Reality TV. It doesn’t really matter if someone is gay, lesbian, married 20 years, newly dating, reconnecting after years apart or whatever. You can have these same “types” of people year in and year out, but the game would still be different, and so would the result.
Gay brothers, Cowboy brothers, dating lesbians (who ended up being two of the bitterest competitors ever), two beauty queens (I’m sorry, but Brent isn’t a model – he’s a beauty queen, just male), a couple of overweight cops and others made this a fun season to watch.
The first leg started in L.A and headed towards Chile, and as usual, it seems some teams have difficulty even getting on the first flight out and in some cases, even getting the proper money (since when is Brazil the same is Chile?).The first mission was cable walking, which at the risk of being racist, seems like a white man’s sport. From there the teams had to paint some houses, which once again, proved somewhat difficult, unless you’re Brent and Caite. In which case, you can’t even go down the hill in the instructed way.
Dana & Adrian were the first eliminated which wasn’t a big shock, as they were never near the front, nor did they seem competitive, so good riddance.
Leg 2 was still in Chile and included some hilarious attempts by our resident geniuses Brent & Caite to find the proper bus terminal, and one bold move by Jet & Cord that moved them to the front. Jody & Shannon were kicked in the head by a cow, and then got kicked out of the race.
Leg 3 started off very poorly for the models, as they had to get to a hospital, which put them hours behind the pack.
One of the missions on the leg was to lasso some hay, with a bull’s head attached to it, which, to everyone’s surprise (not) the cowboys won (this was seriously one of the most obvious cases of a mission being tailor made for a team).
And while some teams couldn’t read coordinates others couldn’t tell who the head bandit was. Luckily for them, Monique & Shawne couldn’t do anything right, and were cut loose.
Leg 4 Included a twin bungee jump which demonstrated that angry lesbians and friendly gay guys can get along just fine, and some sauerkraut which demonstrated that Mike & Louie have a bottomless stomach. Jordan & Jeff were last in, due to the world’s worst cabbie, but were spared.
Leg 5 Brought Joe & Hiedi back down to earth, as they were U-turned having to complete an extra task, which they could not do in time. At least Joe’s knee got to heal up.
Leg 6, in France had Steve & Allie in trouble when Steve couldn’t avoid wrecking the car, but to their good fortune, Jordan and Jeff couldn’t stop fighting and getting lost. At least now, we no longer had to watch, as they were gone.
Leg 7 Was funny, possibly the funniest leg of the race, for two reasons – firstly due to the number of ways teams found to mispronounce “Seychelles”, and secondly because it turns out that nearly all teams can’t spot one missing coconut from their wagon. Jet & Cord weren’t laughing as they came in last, proving once again that you should always grab EVERYTHING you own off a boat, but they lived to fight on.
Leg 8 had teams carrying and scurrying all across Malaysia, where Jet & Cord proved to be one of the best teams ever, going worst to first. Steve &a Allie weren’t so lucky, losing their clothes a leg earlier and now losing their shot at the cool million.
Leg 9 was the downfall of the lesbians, in more ways than one, they were so happy to announce they were about to use the U-turn on the cowboys. But when Brent & Caite used it on them they couldn’t take it and were evicted just before the final four.
Noodle making proved very difficult in leg 10. Jordan nearly cracked, but the gay guys got their due with the fashion challenge. The wind blew Mike & Louie’s puzzle, but yet again no team was sent home.
Leg 11 saw teams running around Shanghai, where Mike & Louie couldn’t make up the lost time, and fell out of the race.
You all know who won the last leg, don’t you? I mean, you watched just like me.
The Amazing Race wrapped up another great season, with yet another just around the corner. Teams will keep running, get lost, carry, rappel, jump, eat and fly all over the globe, and we’ll get to watch and laugh as they do, or secretly wish it was us doing those things.
And Phil? He’ll still have the best poker face on TV.
This week’s funniest line will be from the past season of The Amazing Race where Jet asked Cord “how do you say fast in Malaysian?” to which Cord replied “I don’t know, how about FAST?”
Next week I will review Grey’s Anatomy‘s little sister Private Practice.
