Greetings and welcome to the first edition of The O’Really Report. I am your humble and wrestling loving amigo Rhett Davis. Don’t be shy, c’mon in, take your coat off and stay awhile.
Bobby Heenan is arguably the best manager of all time and why? Not because he’s eye candy, that’s certain. Heenan is the best manager because he had skills on the mic. He could make the big men who didn’t have charisma in the least seem like big deals. At WrestleMania 2 and 3, Heenan managed King Kong Bundy and Andre the Giant (respectively). Neither of these men could talk on a mic well enough to match up to the heights that Hulk Hogan had set. This is where Heenan came in. He would tell you how bad your ribs would hurt after Bundy splashed you. He would tell you how impossible it would be to pick up and slam Andre. And you would believe him. Then Hulk would go out there and prove Heenan wrong. Not only did this build up the challenger as a potential threat when he couldn’t tell you himself, but it made the protagonist super heroic. The buildup was huge for both of those matches, and a key part of it was Bobby Heenan’s doing. Without Heenan, it would’ve just been Andre staring into the camera saying things barely coherent and Bundy rambling. The WWE has done that again in this decade except with a new hero named John Cena. Everyone likes to point their finger at Cena and say he is to blame for it being uninteresting. But is it really? Everyone says that Cena is a terrible wrestler. Which I’m not here to disagree, but was Hulk Hogan really any better? Cena has about five or six key moves, but so did Hulk Hogan. Imagine if Cena’s opponents had someone like Bobby the Brain managing them. The only time I can recall that his opponent had a manager who was capable of creating that surprise was Armando Estrada. Do you remember when Cena fought Umaga (RIP) in a Last Man Standing match? Umaga, despite not saying a word, created the ONLY match of the Cena-superman-era that I bought just to see how he would do it. If you recall, Cena had to use the ropes and choke Umaga out in order to defeat the behemoth.
Now, I gave the history lesson to get to this point. Why couldn’t Michael Cole be the next Bobby Heenan? Before you get too critical on me, hear me out. Cole has always been just a bland commentator that most people either found extremely annoying or just tuned him out. For the first time in his career, Cole actually has a role worth mentioning. He gets the “privilege†to read what the anonymous Raw GM has to say to the audience. “And I Quote…†has become his new line and could easily be what he uses to garner that heat in an interview when putting over his wrestler. Oh, I mean superstar.
Heenan was a coward, but he could afford to be. After all, he surrounded himself with huge wrestlers. Why couldn’t Cole do the same thing? There are a plethora of big men on the WWE roster currently that have no real direction. Imagine if Cole were to gather up Mark Henry, DH Smith, Chris Masters, Jack Swagger, and Tyler Reks along with Miz and Riley? That would be a force to be reckoned with.  None of these men (minus Miz/Riley) have very good mic skills and could definitely use Cole to be there to put them over. Cole could put over how Henry is the world’s strongest man and how big a deal that is, how much DH is better than his daddy, how bad it feels when the blood runs to your head when the Masterlock is applied, how Swagger can snap your ankle with his Ankle Lock, and how dangerous Reks is.
Now let me exit the Cole Miner club for a second and introduce my second nomination if the first doesn’t happen: Vickie Guerrero. In the case that WWE doesn’t want to lose the “Voice of the WWE†on commentary, then there is always the heat magnet Vickie Guerrero. Vickie could do as I mentioned earlier and get a posse of big superstars to do the dirty work lead by Dolph Ziggler. Or she could do something a little different…
WWE has been giving her this little reputation (Edge, Show, Ziggler) of being promiscuous and that could really play well into her stable. Would it really surprise you if she surrounded herself with the ‘pretty’ boys? What if somehow she got Ziggler, Ryder, Rhodes, McIntyre, Kidd, and Morrison? The leaders could be Morrison and Ziggler and they could be the big title contenders. Vickie did well on Monday Night, a few weeks ago, when she was doing most of the talking for Ziggler. She made him look like he really was of importance and that his win was important as well. Vickie would draw great heat for her superstars and she could do most of the talking for the charisma lacking ones. John Morrison could be the rebellion if in need of faces and put on some phenomenal matches with them.
Cole and Vickie are both capable of being great stable managers, if given the opportunity and creative backings.
Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a comment, question, concern, or totally long criticism/rant in the section below. And that’s a wrap.
