Forever Heel: Being Weird with WWE

Columns, Top Story

I know we’re all sick of Cena being the winner of everything. The fans that cheered John Cena in 2003, wanted to see more of Cena as the Doctor of Thuganomics. Nobody asked and begged WWE to turn him into Hogan in jorts. WWE did this themselves, and for no reason. We’ve all seen Feds where the main guy takes out every guy on the roster, and thought that the place folded because the main guy was overexposed?

I firmly believe that the genius that runs WWE would’ve kept the belt on Hogan for 20 years if he could have. I don’t have a lot of faith in a guy that thought Stone Cold Steve Austin would be like Mr Freeze (from Batman), and not a badass anti-hero. The genius of Vince is that he’s not afraid to force his employees into calling him a genius, or otherwise face his vindictive nature.
I remember Michael Hayes mentioning once that Eric Bischoff shouldn’t have ever tried to bring down the WWE because it would’ve hurt the WWE employees’ families. Now WWE is in firm control of the North American wrestling market and ruin families all the time. Whether it’s the forced WWE schedule of 292 days on the road, or WWE firing backstage employees that didn’t answer their cellphones , WWE ruins it’s fair share of families.

Look at the situation with Zack Ryder. The fans loved him, and he helped WWE get out there with YouTube. Ryder’s reward was to be destroyed on camera and to be made a fool of, because he reached for “the Brass Ring”, and didn’t ask permission first. So the fans choose the man they want to see, as long as he goes for that brass ring, and as long as he asks WWE for permission to be over with the fans? This is actually a Bischoff algorithm, and led to the downfall of WCW.

I know the easiest article to write is an anti-WWE diatribe, but no one ever sticks to truth about WWE. They begin to believe that Zack Ryder wasn’t a good choice, or that Eric Bischoff was always an out-of -touch company man. I can bet that as I’m writing this there are people who believe Triple H would still be where he is today if he hadn’t married Stephanie. WWE tends to cause amnesia as you watch it more and more.

I still see people sticking up for Triple H’s 2002-05 WHC title run. I enjoyed it, but did we really need to see Hunter as Ric Flair 2.0, or watch him turn heel on everything? (I believe in 2003, Hunter turned heel on a broom and mop?) Call me crazy, but I never wondered what would happen if Jericho, Triple H, and Flair fought Booker T, HBK, and Kevin Nash. I actually didn’t think Hunter’s turns on Flair, Nash, and HBK made any sense. They produced pretty good matches, but I saw no reason why either guy was there. I think many people wanted to see Hunter, HBK, and Nash together?

The point of this is that WWE sometimes tries so hard to be innovative that they lose me, or they stick with the same old stale idea, and claim its brand new. I often think they should just come up with thousands of ideas, and rotate them. I’d also enjoy it if WWE would quit lying to me and just tell me the real reason why a guy gets buried or gets a Jesus push? I don’t know what an “It Factor” is, I don’t know what “electrifying” means anymore.

I think this vague language of WWE will only get worse, and that we’ll get more edgy anti-heroes that turn into happy fun cream puffs. Gimmicks will die, and be replaced with pure wrestler,s and mat technicians that know 5 moves, but have beautiful physiques. Later WWE will finally take the term “sports” and “wrestling” off the marquee and begin distributing films that star Cody Rhodes, and a talking Vulture.

Top Heels With Goofy Entrance Attire

5) Miz’s current look
4) Seth’s Batman top
3) Cesaro’s robe
2) Tyson Kidd’s hoodie with cat ears. (He has no idea how to wear a hoodie)
1) Luke Harper’s bright blue sleeveless shirt.

CH Punk comes from Beverly Hills, California; but considers himself a citizen of the World. Punk also turned heel at age 5, after receiving a LJN Iron Sheik figure for Christmas. On that day he vowed he would stuff his Sheik figure up Hulk Hogan's nose, to ruin Hulkamania. By 1995 Hogan had already ruined it without CH's help.