Inside Pulse 12

WWE Monday Night Raw 8/22/16 Recap (Universal Title Vacated, Roman vs. Jericho)

Balor vs. Rollins recap starts the show off and makes Balor seem like a huge deal. Damn shame he has to give the title up tonight due to injury. Balor will be out six months, and Steph brings us to to Raw…in a jean jacket. Raw has a new set – it’s the Summerslam set with the LED rampway. Finn says the belt represents sacrifice and belief in yourself showing that you can do anything. Seth wants to just be given the title, but Sami comes down and is hugely over. He goes from being absolutely directionless on the pre-show to now being in the Raw World title scene – nice.

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Jericho comes down with a vest and scarf. KO, Enzo, and Cass are out. Enzo is dressed like a New Jersey resident mixed with a Briscoe brother. BIG DOG gets puts over huge by the announcers. Fans chant “we want Slater!” Foley says “Everyone in this ring is deserving of a title shot” Why, on the Earth, would Enzo and Cass be given that they A – lost and are B – tag team wrestlers. Steph makes a series of matches tonight to lead to a title match next week.

Seth and Sami are up, but Seth jumps Sami with a big knee. Sami lands some punches and gets a moonsault off the barricade. Sami tosses him up, but Seth uses the time it takes Sami to come in to superkick him. Sami goes for a hopping nothing and lands weirdly selling his leg. Sami hits a flip dive without running, but eats the flying knee from Seth for 2.5.

Seth elbows out of the blue thunder bomb and hits a jumping high kick before elbowing him to death in the corner. Exploder into the buckle by Sami. Seth grounds him and locks on a kneebard to work over the injured leg. Seth hits a pedigree and wins to move on in the…I think it’s a tournament? Brackets would be very helpful. The announcers hype up brackets, but we get a shot of Orton vs. Brock instead.

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Summerslam slideshow airs making it seem like a WM-level show. Owens comes out with a tron that makes him come off great. He’s out to face Neville, who doesn’t seem deserving of a title shot on Raw – let alone one for the top title. Neville sends him out and tip-toes on the apron to hit a 450 off of it. Jericho distracts him and he eats a lariat and sells it before it hits.

After the break, Neville hits the deadlift German for 2. A cradle gets 2 and then he lands a nice enzuiguri. Jericho distracts him to prevent the red arrow and eats a dropkick. Owens drops him up top and wins with the torture rack neckbreaker out of the corner. We get a brief rundown of the upcoming Universal Title tourney matches. Cass faces Rusev and Roman faces Jericho.

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WWE brags about SummerSlam being big on Twitter before Big E’s intro brings out New Day. Recap of Jon Stewart’s stuff last night. New Day celebrates being WWE Tag Team Champions for an entire year. Kofi thanks the fans for being vocal – during both the good and bad times, and they have a unicorn pinata filled with BootyOs. Doctors Gallows and Anderson: Pro Wrestling Urologists proclaim this to be stupid.

The heels say they want a tag title shot and we’ll get Karl vs. Big E later. New Day has a new black label NES game cover-style shirt now. Karl Anderson vs. Anyone feels like the Globetrotters vs. the Generals.  Big E locks on an abdominal stretch after the break and slaps Karl’s ass. Karl responds to the spanking with a dropkick to the knee. Karl kicks away more before being hoisted up and tossed to the floor. Karl kicks him to prevent the suicide spear. Woods flatlines Gallows on the floor and E hits a tilt a whirl Big Ending to win.

Dudley Boys say goodbye tonight, leading to clips of their debut in WWE. Dudleys are coming off like bigger stars tonight than have in the prior 364 days since they’ve been back. Titus talks about being tag champs going into Summerslam last year. He is glad they lost because he dropped the dead weight known as D-Young. Backlund comes down and locks on a thing resembling a crossface chickenwing, only without a crossface and not much of a chickenwing. Titus beats them up and an Orton-Brock recap is apparently next.

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It shows slow mo and black and white for the blood. Tom asks Steph for her reaction about what happened with Brock. He will punished…somehow in some way at some time. Well, that was a good use of time. Lana brings out the true American hero, a man who stands up for his wife against all who oppose her, Rusev! Rusev comes out with his ribs taped up due to Roman Reigns being a jerk and attacking him before the match and spearing him.

Rusev comes out to reach a new height in his career despite doing so with a rib injury caused by the asshole babyface…how is Rusev a heel? Cass says he’s going to finish the job Roman Reigns started. Given that any association with Roman is guaranteed boos, and these guys are huge faces with great merch numbers, it seems like a bad idea to have them do anything for Roman even by proxy. Basic back and forth clubbing before an ad break.

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Rusev has a post-break chinlock on.  During the break, Cass misses a Stinger splash and eats a spinkick. They fight to the floor and Cass tosses Rusev into the steps. Rusev just leaves and Cass wins via countout. Well, this helped no one. Jericho is interviewed by Tom and insults Phillip, and argues with KO a bit and brags about being “the champion of the universe – IT’S REALLY BIG!”

Charlotte and Dana walk backstage, come out, and Dana leads a one-person “you deserve it” chant. She praises herself and Mick comes out. Is Mick coming out to read a new fanfic he wrote about her? The fans chant for Bayley and she tells them to get over themselves. Mick says that some moments in wrestling bring him great joy – like bringing in Bayley! Well, for one night at least, they’re getting Bayley right.

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The crowd sings “hey hey we want some Bay-ley!” and she tears up. Bayley’s jacket straight out of ’88 is great. She hugs Mick and tells Charlotte that she wants a title shot. Charlotte says she isn’t dressed to compete – but Dana is. Dana as a toadie is glorious. It’s a shame it involves her wrestling a lot on live TV because she just isn’t ready for it.

Bayley dominates with headlocks, but Dana clubs her before bonking her into the buckle. Bayley responds in kind, but the camera work does them no favors. Could they please stop using camera angles from the buckle showing Dana’s head not coming within a foot of the thing? Dana recovers and dominates. This grounded surfboard with Dana locking the hands would be a perfect finish – it shows her arms off and she can’t hurt anyone with it. Bayley hits the corner jumping elbow, dives off the top with the spinning back elbow, and wins with the belly to Bayley. Roman talks smack about Jericho before their match backstage.

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Cruiserweight division hype video showcases TJ Perkins and the cruiserweights will come to Raw on September 19. Recap of the Cesaro vs. Sheamus match last night. Sheamus is backstage and buries New York sports teams. Braun Strowman comes down to face Johnny Knockout, who loves big, sweaty men. Braun destroys him and pins him twice. It’s not quite like the Bundy five count, but it’s something that sets him apart and that’s a good thing for him.

The Dudley Boys’ return to WWE last year is shown. Dudleys come out and Bubba shakes hands with the commentators. Bubba does a great promo about how a year ago, they came back to this ring, in this building, in their city. They kicked ass, put guys through tables and had a hell of a year. No matter if they were booed or cheered, the fans respected them for busting their asses for 20 years. Fans chant “testify!” at Devon. He puts over the TLC matches with Edge and Christian and the Hardys. “Every chairshot – I’d do it again!” Yeah, that line ain’t making Hulu. Bubba tells the fans to thank themselves. They do another testify bit before the Shining Stars come out. I guess they want to open up a Dudleyville theme park in Puerto Rico.

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The fans want tables, but the heels say that there won’t be any tables. They will instead give the Dudleys a pair of economy comfort tickets to Puerto Rico! Dudleys kick their asses and hit a 3D and wassup. WWE is showing here that they knew how to actually use the Dudleys well for the past year – they just chose not to. The Club comes down to attack the Dudleys. I wouldn’t mind Bubba Ray leading the Bully Club… Magic Killer to Bubba Ray. Well, maybe it’ll be like those Aces and Eights beating that “only looked like beatings”. Magic Killer to Devon through the table mid-ring. Maybe this was Luke’s revenge for the Aces and Eights.

Jericho comes out, followed by Roman. Roman dominates a bit before a break at 10:55. Jericho eats a flying lariat, but ducks a Superman punch and goes for the Walls. Roman powers out, but eats a run-up enzuiguri. Roman hits the drive by and the Superman punch gets 2. Jericho goes for the codebreaker, but Roman powers him into a Ligerbomb for 2. Owens distracts Roman, but the schoolboy only gets 2. Jericho avoids the spear and locks on the Walls. Roman pushes up and walks to the rope to boos. Owens pokes the eye and Jericho hits a codebreaker for 2. Jericho slaps him, so Roman responds with slaps and swears before spearing Jericho to win. So against a bad eye and Jericho getting a goon to help, Roman OVERCAME THE ODDS! The WWE formula for 30 years holds true. Seth, Owens, Cass, and Reigns battle to determine the second Universal Champion next week on Raw.

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Screenshots –

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/sqhsrgpwida7voa45g83s0vslqsg3tgv

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