Saturday Evening Post 11.03.01

Hello and welcome to Saturday Evening Post. I’m Flea. Hopefully you are Anthrax free after Halloween. Ah, the good ol’ days when all we had to worry about was razor blades in the apples and the occasional “ghost” who wanted to prove that you COULD see his wiener.

Let’s get to it .

TOP STORY

In a shocking blow to the Internet Wrestling Community, the WWF disclosed on Monday Night the REAL origin of Booker T’s “spinarooni”. Apparently, it was time for a young Booker to “get his meal on” and mama cooked up some Chef Boy-are-Dee Beef Ravioli. Long story short, Book takes this opportunity to break-dance his way to the dinner table via the “spinarooni”. This relates to our little Internet World how, you say? Well, until this time the one and only Mark Madden claimed credit for coining the phrase “spinarooni” and we were all more than happy to go along with that theory.

If you don’t know who Mark Madden is let me fill you in. Before his run as 3rd banana on WCW Nitro, Madden was nothing more than an Internet schlep with a Hotline report. As his fame grew, he turned his back on the Internet Wrestling Community, constantly downplaying the influence of the Internet and “smarts” in general. Thing got really bad when he was hired full time by WCW and had to defend Eric Bischoff and the WCW product, when just a few years earlier he was no more than just a web guy saying how much their product sucked.

This, of course, sent the remaining Internet Writers into a tizzy most notably the NWWWO website, who if I recall correctly, dedicated at least a dozen columns to Madden and how much he sucked dick. The NWWWO is gone but if you check over at The Smarks in Scott Keith’s rant section, he still has a column there that pretty much sums up the general feelings of the net during that time period. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that many of the Mop-Up’s by the late Chris Hyatte were also brutal in the attacks on Madden. Classic stuff.

To summarize, Mark Madden was part of the community at one point but left for greener pastures, taking a job that all Internet writers would cream their pants for. His lasting legacy was the term “spinarooni” which has been adopted by the WWF and used for commercial purposes. Life’s a bitch, then you overdose on ham sandwiches.

Note to CRZ: If we see RVD “WALKING” to get a can of that shitty ravioli, please sue for gimmick infringement. You have witnesses and a many years of proof on your side.

HEADLINES

Hulk Hogan’s XWF is ready to set the world on fire with TV tapings coming up in the next couple of weeks. Hogan was on the radio putting the company over and wisely saying they are not trying to compete with Vince at this time. According to The Hulkster, there has been interest from several TV stations to syndicate the program once the tapings are in the can, but Hogan has not made any decisions at this point on distribution of the product.

As I said last week, this is the best bet for getting some kind of alternative product to the WWF at this point. People can bitch about Hogan all they want, but the fact is he does have connections and a proven track record for drawing money and ratings. Besides, it should be a fun little promotion with some of the names they are talking about and Hogan SWEARS that no one will be held back. You WILL watch and Hogan knows that.

In a related story, I will be in attendance for the TV tapings at Universal Studios. Two days and something like 4 or 5 tapings a day. The price was right (free) and the staff is begging for “hardcore wrestling fans” and “signs”, so why not. Hopefully they draw more than a thousand people, but I am not holding my breath.

Tonight is the WWF Rebellion PPV over in England. The event is taking place as I type and results are available in “real time” format at various sites on the net. 411 will have results up later, I am sure. I will have the results in The Monday Edition because I need to wait for all the backstage rumors about who wouldn’t job for who and who works too stiff. Not that I am a sucker for all this “smart” shit, I just want to bring you THE most comprehensive coverage of ripped off news bites. So come back tomorrow. Or Monday when you are pretending to work.

THE ROSS SAYS THIS

In his latest Ross Report, JR had the following items:

The WWF roster has taken the term “War Zone” just a little to literally lately as the list of walking wounded is growing: Rhyno, Kanyon, Hardcore Holly and Taka are out anywhere from 4-6 months. Also banged up are X-Pac, Scotty 2 Hotty, Regal, Stasiak, Rikishi, Kidman, Jerry Lynn, Eric Angle and Johnny the Bull. Not to mention Benoit and HHH are still ailing but slated to return soon.

Stone Cold required a bunch of stitches to close that nasty would from Smackdown, when a chair was dropped on his head. Note the word “dropped” as the Undertaker hit Stone Cold in the BACK, not the head, but as the chair was falling, it took a strange turn and whacked Austin upside the noggin. It was NOT the Undertaker’s fault and there is no reason to point out any other theories. But then again, the Undertaker WAS the one that left the chair on top of the cell in just such a precise position that when Cactus was choke-slammed through the cage, the chair just “happened” to fall on Mick’s face and knock his tooth through his nose. So maybe there IS more to this story. Sorry, where was I?

J.R. had a bunch of nice things to say about up and coming talent in the farm system. The future of the WWF is out there, somewhere.

Lita will be getting her picture taken by the fine folks at Rolling Stone. I vote for the famed “Janet Jackson cover photo”, but being a longtime reader of the magazine, I’m sure those freaks will manage to accentuate that disgusting tattoo of hers. Anyway good for her; one more step closer to Playboy.

For Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, the Fed has the golden opportunity to have their very own float. No word on what it will be and as of this point, there is no poll requesting our input, so the creative staff must have something in the works.

J.R. sugarcoated the loss his precious Sooners received at the hands of those disgusting Nebraska Cornhuskers. I felt he said his piece when Paul E. ragged on him Monday night. When J.R. was confronted with the topic of how much the Sooners suck, he simply questioned Paul E.’s manhood and pretty much called him a queer. J.R. rules.

JOEY’S NUMBER

I hate to say this but the hotline report sucks. No offense to Joey, but he ain’t telling us anything we do not already know. I will keep you abreast if Styles happens to “shoot” on anyone as we all know he can, but until that time “Joey’s Number” is history. In its place will be ..

RADIO GA GA

Many of today’s wrestlers choose to express their opinions and gripes on various radio programs, be it the standard AM/FM stations or the up and coming Internet talk shows. Here is a run down on who said what

Eddy Guererro made an appearance and spoke at length about his upcoming return to the WWF. He thanked the WWF for not firing his strung out carcass and promised those days of abuse are far behind him. I mentioned last week I, for one, will be glad to see him back. Preferably feuding with Tajiri or RVD and not aligned with Hurricane and Molly as the Masked Mexican Marauder.

D’Lo Brown is making his way back to the “recognized” world. In his interview, he expounded on how much he enjoys working the smaller shows in HWA and how it has reinvigorated his love for the sport. He is at a very svelte 240 pounds and predicts a return around Wrestlemania. D’Lo also reminded us that HE also has a Frog Splash, much like Eddy and RVD. He did not go into that despite the fact RVD injures people and smokes dope he still gets pushed, unlike D’Lo, who had one botched spot that crippled Droz and therefore got sent to Ohio and Eddy, who got shipped off to rehab for his drug use. Nope, he didn’t say it, but I bet he was thinking it. Maybe not.

Cactus was out and about AGAIN pushing his book and taking every opportunity to say how much the WWF sucks and how the right guys are not getting pushed, blah blah blah. I never thought I would say this but FUCK Mick Foley. I know everyone is entitled to his own opinion and all but ENOUGH ALREADY. I am (or used to be) one of the biggest Foley marks in the world, until he started with this bullshit. Cactus Jack was my favorite from the early 90’s all the way through his ECW days and I really dug his early Mankind character until he became a f*cking goof. Dude Love was even fun to a certain extent and, when booked right, led to two classic matches with Austin. What started my dislike was his appearance at Wrestlemania after a perfect set of matches against HHH that should have (and were supposed to) end his career. Foley defended this in his book by saying “if Vince McMahon asked (these fans) to mow his lawn, they would, etc. To that I say BULLSHIT. Whether we would or wouldn’t is not the point. But I could guaran-goddamn-tee if given the opportunity to do Vince’s yard work, I would make sure to have access to the bathroom, so that I could take a rattlesnake shit and clog up his plumbing AND piss on the toilet seat. Sort of like what Foley is doing now. Vince gives full promotion for all of Mick’s books and gets the shaft. I hope that when the next book comes out, he lets Cactus fend for himself. As far as I’m concerned, he is no better at this point than Sable or Chyna; he just has to piss on Vince standing up, that’s all.

Sorry about that. Let’s move along ..

ROLL THE DICE

Various bits of news bites here

Matt Hardy and Lita are over in England and did a nice interview for an popular British newspaper. They spoke about the standard topics (backyard wrestling, WWF vs. WCW/ECW, etc). The most interesting thing was apparently Matt comes up with all the match ideas and Jeff is the one that “executes” them, pun without a doubt intended right back there. On one hand, I am relieved to see that Jeff is NOT as suicidal as I thought, but just plain stupid. Somewhere, it has to be a crime to attempt murder on your brother, but the Brits did not seem to care, totally no selling the confession Matt disclosed. What would Winston Churchill think? I don’t know, ask Eric S. I’ve never heard of the guy.

Steven Richards is apparently a candidate for an announcing position on Smackdown. Works for me.

Ric Flair is again teasing a WWF run, which in all likelihood will happen sooner rather than later.

Edge jumped on stage with Rob Zombie recently as his entrance song played. A lot of people just thought they knew him.

John Boy and Billy, the famed hillbilly radio show hosts, will attempt to throw their hats into the collective “new wrestling promotion” sweepstakes with something called “Wrestleforce”. Take that for what it’s worth.

On the website front, the new link for WrestleLine.com now leads to a kiss ass Michael Jordan site. From the outhouse to the penthouse, or maybe the other way around, depending on your point of view. No word if Scott Keith will review the Wizards games or if The Rick will answer you questions about his “Airness”. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear.

IN OTHER WORDS

Now available on 411

Shellie Lepere has your latest Indy News report available right here. Check it out and tell her Flea sent you.

Be sure to check out Scott Keith as he tells you what’s up with Smackdown, right here.

EXCESS is back to the two hour format tonight and guess who will do the recap/review? ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!. Read it, please. I would provide the link but