A Wrestling Tale 1.22.02: Voicemail To Boss From Writer

Here’s the angle. Wrestler A is in love with Female Valet. Female Valet is in love with Wrestler B. All three are good friends backstage. Wrestler B does not know that Female Valet is in love with him, although he knows that Wrestler A is in love with Female Valet. Female Valet does not know that Wrestler A is in love with her, and talks with him all the time about her crush on Wrestler B. Out of his love for her, Wrestler A saves Female Valet from evil wrestlers, only to then try to set her up with Wrestler B. However, every time he tries to set them up, Wrestler B tries to set Wrestler A and Female Valet up. It becomes a circle.

Finally, Female Valet reveals her love to Wrestler B. In his shock, Wrestler B reveals to Female Valet that Wrestler A is in love with her. Wrestler A watches on the monitor as Female Valet tells Wrestler B that while she loves Wrestler A as a friend, she could never love him as he loves her. She then kisses Wrestler B, who backs away from her and goes to find Wrestler A. In the next segment, Wrestler B is found bloody and unconscious near their dressing room by Female Valet. She calls for help, and Wrestler A runs out of the dressing room and checks on his friend. Female Valet suddenly thinks that Wrestler A may have done it in a jealous rage and runs away from him. Wrestler A maintains his innocence.

The next two weeks, Wrestler B is out with an injury. Wrestler A spends his time trying to convince Female Valet that he didn’t do it. Female Valet goes so far as to get a Restraining Order against Wrestler A. At the end of the two week period, Wrestler B returns. He calls both Wrestler A and Female Valet into the ring with him while holding a chair. Wrestler B says his attacker got him from behind, but he caught a glimpse of him while he was leaving. It was not Wrestler A, it was Tag Team C. The audience should be shocked and confused, because Tag Team C has no problem with Wrestler B. Wrestler B challenges Tag Team C to a match at the next Pay Per View with Wrestler A as his partner. Female Valet begs for Wrestler A’s forgiveness, and he gives it to her. The three have a conversation the next show where they all agree to just be good friends.

At the Pay Per View, Tag Team C and Wrestler’s A and B have a match. At the end of the match, both members of Tag Team C have chairs, and Wrestler B is all alone in the ring. Suddenly, Wrestler A grabs a chair and slides back into the ring. Like with all turns, it looks like he is going to hit a member of Tag Team C, but instead he hits Wrestler B. Female Valet comes in the ring to stop him, and he grabs her by the hair and grabs a microphone as Tag Team C pummels Wrestler B. Wrestler A reveals that he paid Tag Team C to attack Wrestler B and gives her one more chance to tell him she loves him. She spits in his face, and Wrestler A tell Female Valet that he could never hurt her. He then throws her to Tag Team C who beat the crap out of her as Wrestler A walks back to the dressing room.

After this, there are so many ways to go. Female Valet can foster a relationship with Wrestler B, and Wrestler A can go crazy with jealousy and revenge. Female Valet and Wrestler B can return from injury and have a revenge angle of their own against Wrestler A. At the next Pay Per View, Female Valet can turn on Wrestler B and say that she has fallen in love with Wrestler A. Or the most complicated idea yet, after a few weeks of watching Wrestler B lose matches and then seeing Female Valet abused by his opponent, Wrestler A can start saving her again. But after every time he saves her, he hits Wrestler B with a chair or something. Is he good? Is he evil? It doesn’t matter! People will be able to connect with him, and that’s what’s important. Get back to me, please.

Voicemail to Writer from Boss

That’s pretty good, but it needs some extra oomph. Okay, here’s what we’re going to do.

Wrestler A loves Female Valet who loves Wrestler B. I like that part, but here’s the kicker. Wrestler B is a homosexual who is in love with Wrestler A, and Wrestler A doesn’t know that Wrestler B is a homosexual! So like you said, Wrestler A knows that Female Valet loves Wrestler B and Wrestler B knows that Wrestler A loves Female Valet, so they keep trying to set each other up with her. However, Female Valet knows that Wrestler B loves Wrestler A, and not knowing of his affection for her, keeps trying to set up Wrestler B with Wrestler A! Wrestler A can make all kinds of suggestive comments about how much he likes Wrestler B to Female Valet, who will misinterpret his friendship and good feelings towards Wrestler B as love! This could be really funny. This could draw money.

Oh, and then at the point where all of them admit their feelings, I don’t like the idea of breaking the three of them up. I know what we can do! Instead of getting angry at one another, the three become experimental! Sure, this will all go on behind closed doors, but they go from being three friends to being three lovers.

Great work! We’re going to get right on this!

Voicemail to Boss from Writer

I liked what you had to say, but I’m just wondering, where do we go from that last point?

Voicemail to Writer from Boss

I just got your message. What last point?

Voicemail to Boss from Writer

The point where the three people are all having sex together.

Voicemail to Writer from Boss

Oh! That storyline. Yeah, I ran it by some of the other writers, and they think it’s too risqué. With all of the heat on us from the PTC right now, I don’t think we should be venturing into bisexuality and all that. We’ll leave that to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Queer as Folk, okay? Anyway, I loved your idea. Keep them coming.

Voicemail to Boss from Writer

You know, we don’t have to do the whole homosexual aspect of the angle. We could keep it the way I originally plotted it out, and there’s nothing to controversial about a love triangle.

Voicemail to Writer from Boss

Hey, I think I might have accidentally deleted your last voicemail. I don’t know how these little red bastards work sometimes. Anyway, we have a big fat guy coming in about two months from now. I want you to start working on some fart angles for him. You’re doing a great job! Keep up the good work.