Saturday Evening Post 3.09.02

Happy Weekend everybody. I am Flea and am glad you joined me. I have a jam-packed report today as we continue to work our way to WrestleMania, albeit limping and stumbling it seems. March is one of my favorite months, not only for wrestling but just because I’m a huge fan of college basketball and think the March Madness tournament is one of the best, most exciting events in sports. Not sure of your sporting tastes but if you like basketball or sports in general, it doesn’t get much better. Unless you count yacht racing for the America’s Cup, which I do not. Talk about a pretentious snoozefest; I would rather watch the grass grow.

Wanna talk some wrestling? You wouldn’t be here for any other reason, I’m sure. Just please let me know how hard the letters “U” “P” and “S” are to get over with the public. “Brown?” That should be the motto of the new Nike commercial with Vince Carter. Ain’t a damn white face in that one.

Sorry, I have the TV playing while I’m writing this, I’ll get back on topic. Enjoy!

Let’s get to it .

TOP STORY

Big story going around today is Vince McMahon’s appearance on Byte This, the Fed’s Internet show. Trust me when I tell you, this is a must hear. Vince, of course, is his normal obnoxious “character” self, choosing to abuse callers and generally scoff at the Internet and all the chumps that think they know more than he does. Also required for full enjoyment of this story is some surfing the net on YOUR part. Go check out the esteemed members of the IWC as well as what everyone is writing and saying on the message boards, etc. Seems as tough Vince touched a nerve when he didn’t bow down to the POWER of the Internet, which sent most everyone around into a super tizzy, which normally happens when Vince himself says the IWC is full of shit. It’s still funny after all these years that people in the IWC still take themselves so seriously and get so worked up when the tables get turned and it’s THEM that get criticized for thinking they know it all. Vince says that there ain’t no problems backstage (but he can’t be right because the IWC has SOURCES) and that he is happy with the product (which can’t be the truth because the ratings are down) and that WM will be a success (which is IMPOSSIBLE, seeing as they haven’t even decided on the full card with a week left!) Shame Vince, how DARE you doubt us! We am SMART!

Also an issue with his appearance is Vince’s stupid inherent need to “kayfabe” us, foolishly attempting to get story lines across, when we all know that it’s fake and HHH and Steph are still banging each other, regardless of what we see on TV. And we know for a fact that Scott Hall is an embarrassment and that your “claim” that “he hasn’t caused any trouble is bullshit. Don’t try to fool the IWC, we know more about this stuff than you do, Vinnie Mac.

So there you have it. Vince vs. the IWC once again and once again, he knows how to push the hot buttons better than anyone else. “Little Internet World”. Man is that funny. Truth hurts don’t it?

So speaking as a fan of the product and not as a member of the IWC. Let me say that Smackdown was one of the worst wrestling shows I have ever seen from the WWF. And for me to think that, not to mention actually come out and SAY it is a feat in itself. Anyone who reads my columns knows that I am very much an optimist and usually find a bright side but in the case of Thursday Night’s program, I have almost nothing good to say. “Almost”, just because I thought the UT/Flair confrontations (especially the one that kicked off the show) were tremendous. Put their match at WM on my list of things that I am looking forward to. Other than that? Crap, with a capital “C”.

If Rock’s no-selling of the ambulance incident bothered ME this much, I can only imagine what Eric will have to say about it next week. And don’t tell me that little piece of tape and his “clutching” of his ribs every once in awhile counts for anything. That and the fact that he and Austin (another no seller, and I love Austin, he usually puts more effort into his craft) once again made the N.W.O look like incompetent idiots just makes me scratch my head. What the f*ck kind of buildup is this? The n.W.o should be MURDERING these two and Rock and Austin should be doing promos from hospital beds or something, barely able to walk and filled with a vengeful rage. I can’t entirely blamed the writing staff for this, because according to all accounts Rock, Austin and the n.W.o have a lot of say over their angles. And there is NEVER an excuse for running around like there ain’t a damn thing wrong, not even BREATHING heavy during your promos, when supposedly your ribs are cracked because YOU JUST GOT HIT BY A FUCKING SEMI TRUCK!!!!!!!! I can’t believe the Fed has managed to make such a mockery out of this, especially with the potential of this angle.

As for the rest of the show? The whole H / Steph thing was cute for an angle on a mid- June edition of this show, but damn pitiful only 10 days before the biggest PPV of the year. Anyone doubt now why I call Chris Jericho “Some Other Guy”. What the hell else is he at this point but just Some Other Guy while H and Steph tiff. Damn shame seeing as they DO have a match for the championship. I’m still into the Kane/Angle match-up, but that whole beatdown segment was just over-contrived on many levels. And don’t even get me started on how sad it was to see Big Sexy try to sell Rock-E’s power punch. Good Lord.

The ratings for the show were lower than normal, preemption or not. As I have mentioned, I couldn’t care less about the ratings as long as the WWF gives me GOOD programming. Smackdown was the furthest thing from that I have seen in quite some time. I know this critique kinda sorta goes against my New Year’s resolution to sit back and enjoy until WM, but these guys seem to be stacking the deck against me. Two more big TV shows to go before the PPV and let’s hope for the best this week. I still am, believe me.

HEADLINES

Remember that guy who looked like Freddy Mercury from a couple of years ago? You know, Dan “The Beast” Severn? Looks like he is once again the N.W.A champion having defeated Shinya Hashimoto over in Japan. From the reports I have read, it was a screwjob finish featuring a “fast count” by a crooked ref. Yes I’m as shocked as you – not at Da Beast holding Da Belt but that the N.W.A still uses the ol’ “crooked ref” finish. Guess no one told those guys it ain’t 1983 anymore. The fans for damn sure didn’t like it. Anyway congrats to Dan and good luck.

Keeping with our Saturday In Demand theme, it looks like the PPV supplier is still your best source for the future goings on in sportz entertainment business as they are still advertising that Backlash will feature matches in relation to and may or may not affected by some sort of “split”, with factions led by Vince and Flair. You know what this means don’t you? All you assholes who say you are going to quit watching and never buy another PPV after WMX8 are STILL going to pony up the dough for the rest of the year, just out of curiosity. Oh yeah, and that Flair is going to win at WM, ending UT’s decade long winning streak. At least that’s what I got out of the story.

Looks as though we have a little controversy brewing in Omaha, NE as one Alexis Andrade, 16, attempting to learn the finer point of wrestling in the Omaha Wrestling Association, is in a coma and in critical condition. How she got that way is under investigation as the press in Omaha is saying she went over the top rope and landed on her head ala JT Smith, while the OWA spokespeople are on the record saying that she was just doing standard stuff, just like you see on Tough Enough. What is known is that she went to grab a bite to eat and was found unconscious in a fast food restaurant parking lot. No further details at this point but if the young lady should happen to die, expect Vince and the WWF to be blamed. Let’s hope for the best for young Alexis.

In lighter news, depending on your point of view, it looks like our old buddy Jake “The Snake” Roberts is causing a little controversy over in Merry Ole England when he used his snake (while still in the bag) to whack his opponent upside the head, which Animal Rights activists say is a big no-no. The promoter said that “ain’t no f*cking Snake was abused, unless you count Jake himself. For GodSakes, I’m sick of paying that guy in drugs”. That may or may not have been taken out of context, it all depends on which site you read, I guess. Jake himself didn’t have shit to say. I promise I will follow-up on this fascinating story next week.

Speaking of fascinating AND easy to take out of context, lets see what JR is up to

THE ROSS SAYS THIS

In the latest Ross Report, Good O’l JR sticks with Vince’s theme and pretty much tells the IWC to get f*cked. Apparently he doesn’t think much of the folks that worry about who produces what segment, who is booking this angle or who is writing that promo. IT’S A TEAM EFFORT, BY GAWWWD! I don’t think he was talking about me because I’m normally a pretty positive guy, except when they try to shove shit like Smackdown up my ass. And JR will also delete any “mysterious emails” that happen to appear in his mailbox, so be forewarned if you send him anything, He also gives us this statement.

I hate when people write how ol’ J.R. feels about an issue or a talent without ever talking to me. That’s lame-ass reporting it seems to me.

It’s not like you are readily available to the public, Good ‘Ol. We have to interpret your opinions from the Ross Report or you on air commentary, which is usually shrouded in mystery and doublespeak. So don’t blame me if you get taken out of context; try not speaking and writing out of both sides of your mouth.

For you folks in Canada, JR and several other wrestlers (no names given) will be on the TSN show “Off the Record” next week. Expect heavy pimping as well as an all out media blitz during the final week leading into WM.

JR on Custom Officials:

We look forward to working in Toronto, but getting in the country is often times more of a hassle than is necessary from where I sit. The U.S. makes it tough for our Canadian neighbors to travel here as well; both countries should address how they treat the other at our borders. Customs folks will examine everything from soup to nuts, all the while asking for an autograph or free tickets to an event.

He followed that by saying how he does understand the need for heightened security but thinks common sense should be used. Nice. Those f*ckers probably PLANTED the drugs on Grand Master Sexay as well.

And that’s all. 3 pages from JR this week, whatta trooper. Let’s see, Good Ol has a negative attitude, is hypocritical and puts in a half-assed effort: He’s got this Internet Writing shit down pat from where I sit. I may or may not dump The Ross Says This from my report in favor of Droz or Tazz, I’ll decide when I get around to it. As JR would say, feel free to read between the lines, by gawd.

RADIO GA GA

Many of today’s wrestlers choose to express their opinions and gripes on various radio programs, be it the standard AM/FM stations or the up and coming Internet talk shows. Here is a run down on who said what

As mentioned above, Vince had TON to say on Byte This. Go check it out over on the Fed’s website, it’s a must hear if only for the sake of posterity. E.C. will have his recap up sometime in the near future.

Weird. For another week I don’t really have any wrestlers interviews to report. You use to be able to count on these things like clockwork on Friday. I never thought I would be jonesin for a Disco or Big Vito chatfest, but here I am. I expect all this to change next weekend when we get the full court press towards WM. I’m still on the lookout for New Jack and his thoughts re: the match with Grimes, so if you have heard or read anything, please let me know where.

ROLL THE DICE

You wonder why I do “Six Degrees of Ryder Fakin and generally think the world does indeed revolve around BOB? Check this out

I live in Winnipeg and we just got a new radio station here. It used to be called Magic 99.9 but know it is 99.9 BOB FM. That in itself is one of the signs of the apocalypse I believe. The really scary part – their phone number is 780-1BOB. Amazingly, they play very few ads. I’m just waiting

for them to launch a premium pay station.

This dude here chadm@caamb.mb.ca sent me that. Now do you believe me?

IN OTHER WORDS

Now available on 411

Netcop has a new Stampede report available.

E.C. has a Mind Zqueezin’s up and I highly suggest reading it. Ab-Fab as usual.

Nason has the Indy news

Gamble has “a world according to himself” for you

And OY VEY! It’s Wrestlemania’s GREATEST moments! My number one? I’m partial to HBK’s last match at WM 14.

EXCESS will be available as we have Tazz as the guest. My guests? Yep, I’ll have a couple. Check it out when it posts.

And super mad props to Ken Anderson and his review of ECW Barely Legal 97. It is in your best interest to give that a look-see. He even included comments from your pal Flea! Maybe someday he’ll tell me the REAL reason he lumped me in with the rest of those hacks. And Don Becker.

PAGE SIX

That will be it for today. Come back tomorrow for a look at a couple of PPV’s that played this week and an essay on the XWF. After a year I think I am finally ready to come to grips with that whole experience and my opinions on why it “flopped”. I figure that ties in quite nicely for two reasons: The Arena League is tapped for NBC television and the biggest wrestling show of all is about to happen and much like the media that crucified the XFL, the IWC is ready to crucify WM. Can’t you hear the knives being sharpened?

Now go listen to ByteThis and get an earful of what Vince thinks of them there knives.

See you Monday!

This has been Saturday Evening Post and I’m Flea.