The Week In Wrestling: 4.1.02

Happy Easter or whatever to everyone. This is Daniels and you’re reading the Week In Wrestling. Forward is opinions that will cause some to send e-mails threatening to beat me up and call me names. I will respond, by calling you names as well we can exchange name-calling until someone hides beneath their desk. Be warned I may hit below the belt and call you a “Stephanie Fan.”

This is going to be quite short this week, actually there may not be too many opinions to tick anyone off. Basically, because the shows this week were throwaways. Not in the sense that nothing got done there were huge storyline developments, but that’s it. Just storylines. It’s also pretty hard to critique a whole story after the first chapter, which is what we saw this past week. So, I’ll give you a quick rundown.

Raw

The matches this week were pretty well time fillers to the overall story of the draft, which means they really meant nothing, except the final match, which saw the “end” of Stephanie McMahon on WWF television. The draft was the big story, as it split the roster down the middle which also means I DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ROCKY FANS TOMORROW IN THE PEPSI ARENA WOO-HOO!!!!!!

Unfortunately, we’ll still have to deal with Austin fans saying “What?” every five goddam seconds. Personally, I’d be completely satisfied if Kurt Angle really did go into the audience and beat up every person saying what. In fact, I’d allow him to punch me in the face and put me in the Ankle Lock, just to be sure he doesn’t break his stride. Don’t want to distract him, you know.

One thing that didn’t make sense was Vince being upset with Flair for drafting the nWo. You would think he would WANT them on Flair’s show to screw it up. I mean, if the nWo only takes orders from Vince, and they’re on Flair’s show Vince should be jazzed that Flair picked them. Maybe that’s just logic inserting itself into an otherwise perfect WWF story.

As I also said last week, I’m tiring of the bitching and moaning over X-Pac being in the nWo. It makes sense, and it fits the story so whatever. These, however, are also the same people who would be complaining if they never made mention of the fact that he was, you know, part of the nWo earlier in life. Kinda like that Big Show/Giant guy.

I was also quite amused by the fact, at the end of the handicapped tag match, that Hogan and Rock were shocked when they lost the match via DQ. That’s some old-skoolness right there, as the faces don’t recall the rules . IE: They can’t win the belt by countout or DQ, or if one of their buddies come out to help, and they punch the bad guy, the bad guy wins the match. You would think, after thirty years in the biz, Hogan would realize these darned rule clauses.

The big deal of the show was Stephanie getting pinned by HHH and thus being thrown off WWF “forever” or for four weeks like she was the last time she was thrown off WWF television forever. Because, gawd knows we need to see her. According to E.C., we do, however, respect her now. I, personally, don’t really respect her at all, much in the same way I didn’t respect Torrie Spelling for her “incredible” portrayal of Donna on 90210. Nepotism is cool and all, but one bump doesn’t win any respect from me. It does, however, cause me to give mad props to H, who is responsible for cleansing the airwaves for at least four weeks and hopefully means my Raw Experience tomorrow will not leave me with bleeding ears.

Smackdown

And now, for the king of pointless shows, we give you Smackdown. This is what we in the business of Internet Writing refer to as a “Lame Duck” show. I believe that term has been tossed around from time to time in other instances.

Both the Dudleys and the APA gave their teary eyed fits. According to one of my friends, this was so Bradshaw can now dominate everything and everyone without Farooq to hold him back. He will also be winning all titles and appearing on all shows. My buddy gives this all approximately three weeks to go down.

Jericho was pretty interesting again, too. I guess, since he isn’t feuding with HHH anymore, he doesn’t have to look like a total bitch.

Maven lost his hardcore title however, he was in the top picks drafted for one of the shows, which baffles me. RVD and the Big Show have to “pay their dues” (which can also be typed using the keys “look like bitches”) yet Maven just jumps right into the mid-card. While I have no problem with this, in theory, you’d think they can spread it around a bit you know to the OTHER guys people like.

As a random side note, you can always tell when Vince is going to wrestle at a show, because his skin is randomly orange. Check it out sometime. If you tune into Raw or Smackdown, and Vince happens to be mutantly tanned, chances are he’ll wrestle that night.

The Week In Wrestling

Like I said, you can’t really critique a book after the first chapter, so I hold any opinions on the split until tomorrow. I will, gods willing, be checking in sometime tomorrow afternoon with a report of the new Raw set. The same guy who gets me tickets, I certainly hope, will e-mail a looksee of the new set once it’s put together. If not, I will check in with you all next week.

End Transmission.