The Saturday Matinee News Report 11.09.02

Amendment 6 – Smoking Ban, Florida

6,669 out of 6,716 precincts reporting (99 percent)

Yes – 3,398,316 (71%)

No – 1,406,103 (29%)

**DISCLAIMER**

Scroll down until you see some more stars (****) for all the wrestling news you can handle. I know how this works and I have plans for Page Six, so this is going at the top – a separate intro will be available if you do not care to read this

Thanks,

FLEA

I think that the result of the above vote says it all. Basically, Amendment 6 was a vote to ban smoking, primarily in restaurants, so that “second hand smoke” does not disturb people. I don’t want to hear another word about freedom of choice you know what – f*ck it.

I was going to ramble a little bit about politics and groovy stuff like that but the fact of the matter is I really do not care and haven’t for quite a while. People cried the blues about “Al Gore getting robbed” which is total bullshit. If the guy can’t win his home state OR the home state of the President to which he is vice – bound, then he doesn’t deserve to win jack shit, popular vote or not. Besides, the counties where Gore lost are Democratic controlled election committees who have used every under handed tactic in the book over the years to cement their power base. It’s all moot now, with the exception of sour grapes and an occasional joke. What is even more comedic and relevant, is the fact that 2 additional amendments passed here in FLA to give free school to 4 year olds as well as reduce class size in public schools, all of which sounds good on paper – until you do the math and realize that their really is no way to pay for it without gouging the public for more tax money. The laugh will be on the voters, which is how this stuff usually turns out.

You see, the primary job of a politician, if you didn’t know, is to get re-elected and stay in public office for as long as he/she can. Whether you are Democrat, Republican. Independent, Libertarian, Green, Labor or just like to worship Frisbees, this statement holds true and politicians will say or do anything they can to win your vote, knowing that no one REALLY focuses on the long term, so it’s easy to sell shit to the blind. Which is how Jeb Bush came close (well not really) to losing – a liberal democrat by the name of Bill McBride came out of nowhere to pose a threat based on “improving education” and all sorts of socialistic things that sounded great until the following question was posed in the final Bush / McBride debate (by TIM RUSSERT no less!) :

“How do you plan to pay for it?”

Right then, McBride was sunk. He had originally proposed a 50 cent tax increase on cigarettes, which lost him a TON of support from the “working class democrats” who would rather go against their political views and vote for Bush, just to keep from voting for someone who would attempt highway robbery of a class of people that live paycheck to paycheck anyway. The whole line about the “rich getting richer / poor getting poorer” is just more garbage spewed from politicians in an attempt to blame the ills of their failed social programs on people who keep the country afloat while obtaining a sympathy vote from the supposed lower class. Which is all well and good – but when you pass a sin tax under the guise of public assistance even the dumbest egg in the carton will refuse break themselves for the good of their fellow man. No “Bush conspiracy” or “Republican rigging” can take the place of being able to see at least one or two trees in a forest THAT’S why Bush was re-elected.

The bottom line is “how does all this effect me?”, which is how I view any and all political issues. The “smoking ban” is a direct slap in the face to any business owner and anyone who frequents said establishments. Proponents of the ban point to California and “success” – which is true to a certain degree, although anything California does should not be taken seriously – they couldn’t convict O.J and allow Rodney King to roam free – but the “success” has been at the expense of “freedom of choice” which is obviously now reserved strictly for the abortion argument. “Choice” was voted against by a group of ninnies, most of whom are miserable bastards anyway who only go out maybe one or twice a month, eat their dinner and go home. But I can admit defeat; it’s just a shame that it happened.

What it all boils down to is I’ve Got Mine. My daughter goes to private school and if someone can’t afford the luxury of doing that, it’s their problem – try working harder and / or applying yourself, I’ve done my part. Both Desi and I get raped on taxes every year, but I learned a long time ago to play the game and use every loophole in the book to ensure that anything additional that the government attempts to steal from me, finds it’s way back into my pocket. There are many different lines of thinking as far as economics go, but the fact of that matter is the government exists on inventing ways to separate you from the money you earn and spend it on what they deem appropriate (or what they convince the unwashed masses is important) and that is not likely to change anytime in the near future – or distant future for that matter. It’s up to you to take advantage of the elusive “American Dream” and do what you can to get by – as mentioned, I’ve achieved what I wanted and if you are one of the “cry- the- blues- pitiful- have- naughts” I have no sympathy for you whatsoever. The voters in Florida voiced their opinions to outlaw smoking and punish entrepreneurs attempting to make a dime – but also want the same kind of people (i.e. the ones who make money) to pay for their perks and benefits when the time comes to bail out education. Florida has such a thing – it’s called the Lottery. It was designed specifically to fund education but the truth is a majority of the money has gone to waste supporting a bureaucracy that considers any failure to be the fault of the people. The exact same thing can be said at the Federal level and I no longer give a damn. I’ve Got Mine and there ain’t a damn thing anyone can do to change that, or make me feel guilty about not helping my fellow man. There was a time when I needed help and was denied – based on the fact that my income (which was about 20K a year) precluded me from any kind of assistance, despite the fact that my tax money paid for said assistance. I made a decision to never again be put in a position to be told “no” by anyone like that and have stayed true to that. THAT is what this country is about, not sitting around waiting for a handout or free medicine or an asshole in a suit to tell me it’s my fault and I need to “give more” because kids nowadays can’t count to four due to the fact that there are 32 children in a classroom instead of 25. And any non smoker who thinks that passing a law to “ban smoking” is right, can feel free to burn in hell as well as enjoy themselves in their misery. If any of the above has made me sound like a dick, so be it

I’m just another Dick that they won’t have around to kick anymore.

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Hello out there and thanks for scrolling! I’m Flea and it’s now officially the most wonderful time of the year! Won’t be long until Thanksgiving is here and then we slide into Christmas, followed up by a New Year’s Celebration that can’t be beat and HEY! Have you decided what you are going to get me for Christmas yet? “All I want for Christmas is my two .”ah never mind. I never liked that song. But the holidays are approaching which always means a good time, unless you run into a Grinch or two, but that usually isn’t enough to ruin my day or anything. A couple of quick items of note before we get started

TOP STORY

Is anyone else caught in a trap of non-interest? I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been busy lately or the fact that it seems like wrestling for the past few weeks has shaped up like this:

• Get ready for RAW

• Watch RAW

• Enjoy RAW for what it is

• Read 3 days of how HHH is ruining the business

• Watch NWA-TNA

• Enjoy NWA-TNA for what it is

• Read half cocked rumors about NWA-TNA and marvel at all the FANS of this show, when a few weeks ago everyone said how much it sucks

• Wonder why BOB Ryder will not give us the inside scoop when he is right there to confirm or deny rumors

• Get ready for Smackdown

• Watch Smackdown

• Enjoy Smackdown for what it is

• Read 3 days of how lousy Big Show is and how Benoit should be champion

• Write a news report (2 if it’s on a PPV weekend)

• Repeat cycle

Not that I am bored with wrestling by any means or turned off by the current product. It’s just every now and then it seems like this whole thing is one big “wash / rinse / repeat” mechanism that is starting to look like the background to a Flintstone cartoon – you know, where Fred runs though his never ending house like a scalded ape and RUNS BY THE SAME FUCKING WINDOW EIGHTEEN TIMES! I mean, do we need another diatribe about how rotten HHH is? (This fact has YET to be proven, mind you). Is it that hard to comprehend that The Big Show is simply a convenient excuse to turn Brock face and make him even more of a monster? They are not really selling this show on that match anyway – the spectacle will be the Elimination Chamber Match. And can’t we be just a little bit thankful that the focus is not on a “Survivor Series Screwjob?” At least not at this point, anyway. Back to Brock for a moment – he is quickly becoming someone who can work with anyone and make anyone look good, much like Angle before him. It was only a matter of time before people started cheering for him (started with SS and Rock – E and I don’t think anyone ((except the normal suspects)) will argue that UT really did a great job taking a king size ass kicking) but I think it is too soon to split him from Heyman. They have a great dynamic as Paul E. is paying the part of scaredy – cat to Brock’s bad ass, all the while making Show just a bit more important and fearful. Heyman should have gotten hold of Show right from the get-go and EVERYONE would have a different opinion of the big guy, I’m pretty sure of that. But that’s all moot at this point. As far as sacrificial lambs go, Show is as good as anyone. Hell, give us another PPV with these two, it ain’t like the real action is going to happen until after the New Year anyway.

Quiet on the ratings front this week as there was no DRASTIC DROP to convince everyone that Vince is going out of business. I didn’t get a chance to comment that last week, Monday Night Football was Philadelphia / New York (two of the largest markets) and therefore a couple hundred thousand viewers had something better to do – this point was lost in the evil that was Katie Vick. The Boston Globe did a nice little behind the scenes view of Vince and Company putting together a RAW show and you know what they found? Vince is in charge of everything! Of course, the usual suspects say that they KNEW that, nevermind the fact that 96.2 % of every story about RAW has been “HHH is posistioning himself to ruin everyone! Odd that I haven’t heard anything about the HHH Effect lately – I think it’s about high time we turned our attention to someone else –

ERIC BISCHOFF! Man, it’s about f*cking time his name got in the news. A couple of days ago I read that Bischoff is gaining power, which I’m just going to go ahead to jump to the conclusion that he’s f*cking Stephanie and HHH has rekindled his gay romance with HBK. See, the Halloween kiss was just a prelude to things to come. Remember, if you didn’t hear it here first, it’s only because I ain’t said it yet.

Specking of HBK it sure is great to see him back and in popular demand. Although it’s driving me nuts to watch him do the ole “flying jalapeno – kip up – C’MON SHAWN thing”. All that extra jumping around makes him look queer, which does support the fact that he and HHH are banging each other and Steph is screwing Bischoff, but it makes me feel like a schmuck cheering for him. Just the other day I threw my wife in the pool and started jumping around like HBK my kid said “Jesus Christ Flea, why don’t you just put on a dress?”. That’ll learn me. Not to spoil my PPV thoughts for next week but I can’t see anyone coming out of the Elimination Chamber with the belt except for HHH or HBK. It’s the only sure fire feud that they can play up until Wrestlemania and I hope they do.

Meanwhile, Smackdown continues to be the show of shows as the mucho grande 2 out of 3 falls tag match carried the show. Just a word to the wise – yes these matches are really, really good and yes all four men are talented, but NOT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MATCH LIKE THIS CAN BE MATCH OF THE YEAR! Save that title for a match that means something, i.e. HBK or Brock’s Hell in The Cell. I dug the match, as usual, but I was * entertained * more by the whole Rikishi / Cena throwdown, which reminded me of the good old fashioned comedy matches from my youth. Both guys are solid workers, both told a good story and the fans stayed into the match, in lieu of YAY!!!!!!! ..dead silence HOLY SHIT .dead silence yaaaaaaaaAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! That the modern fan has been brainwashed into, in between chanting for tables. It’s called mid – card filler for a reason and Rikishi is always at his best without an agenda and just going out and entertaining. It’s been said that “this shit don’t draw”, well it’s up to the top guys to put asses in the seats. Let The Keesh do his thing and if Cena can get attention being a goof, more power too him. Riddle me this, smarty pants – would you rather see a fun little match like this or 10 more minutes of Al Wilson defiling Dawn Marie? I’ll go out on a limb and say that question is rhetorical

FLEA IS NICE

I’m pretty sure that these guys have axed me for something before but I can’t remember – so that means I have qualms about blatant theft of their product, so instead I’ll just plug them and give you a link here to a site called Wrestling X.com. They recently transcribed an interview with one of my heroes Jake “The Snake” Roberts and a usual, it’s a fascinating read

Jake Roberts on Vince:

If God had hired Vince McMahon to get his gimmick over there’d have been no Devil. But unfortunately Vince went with the other guy.

Go check it out. And tell em Flea sent ya.

HEADLINES

I’m sure at least one or two of you out there have made the connection that a stupid panda, the logo of The World Wildlife Fund (the jerkweeds that forced WWE to change its name) is also the name of the company that just invested in NWA-TNA? Yes siree, PANDA Energy International now has a foothold on the only viable “number two” wrestling organization in North America and I do not think this is a coincidence. Come to think of it, there is no conspiracy, the Jarretts just needed an influx of cash and PANDA happened to be the right people with the right amount of money. But it is kind of ironic that in a couple of years, another Panda could very well put Vince and Company on the hot seat yet again. According to what a bunch of people are saying (except one who is very conspicous by his absence in commentary) PANDA has big plans for The Real Real Double J (TRRDJ) Jerry Jarrett’s company, the biggest being a possible slot on a Turner Netwrok, if they can remind that lucky f*cking hillbilly Ted Turner that it was RASSLIN that made his monkey ass famous, not boat sailing, not 24 hour news and sure as hell not marrying that cunt Jane Fonda. (In a side note, I watched Barbarella for the first time in ages and these modern plastic chicks have nothing on Jane when she was in her prime. Some of you older readers may remember this – I’m looking at YOU Eric S. and E.C. – but just like any beautiful woman, when irrational thoughts trump the fact she is a hot and sexy wench, it drops the value of said chickadee to null. And void for that matter. Fucking communist whore – Voight should have jap-smacked her when he had the chance and I’m rambling again )

It’s pretty much common knowledge nowadays that “rasslin” in what kept the Turner network alive during the infancy of cable and Ted has never forgotten that. I’ve read several interviews about Ted’s dismay at the lack of support for his “rasslin shows” that the new brass showed after the AOL / TimeWarner merger. Hell, it wasn’t even lack of support, it was a downright scoffing at the low brow entertainment that Ted seemed to support and as soon as they got their chance, WCW programming was flushed down the toilet, almost as quick as they turfed Ted himself out of any kind of say so. But just like killing your high school sweetheart with a pitchfork, things come back to haunt you. According to rumors, TRRDJ has been in preliminary conversations with Turner executives, specifically Brad Siegel, the birdbrain who ran WCW into a $4 million steal for Vince McMahon. SeaGull was apparently against the idea, which doesn’t surprise me (after all, blood on your hands in a tough thing to wash away) but TRRDJ is not discouraged and may just try the old end around manuever and get into Ted’s ear that a down home rasslin company is just what the doctor ordered. Ted at this point, has been pissed pretty much since the big merger went south, share prices dropping, his personal fortune no longer considered obscene and investors wondering what the hell happened. Knowing you probably ain’t in the mood for an economics lecture out there, I’ll spare you the gory details and get back to the wrestling stuff in a minute. Bottom line is Ted normally gets what he wants and if he wants to put NWA-TNA on at 8pm on Tuesday, it will probably happen. Hopefully TRRDJ can make nice with the powers in charge, which shouldn’t be all that tough now that he has solid investors and hopefully a revised game plan as far as the direction of the company.

Part II of this saga is Vince Russo seems to have quit / been shitcanned, no one seems to know. Russo’s thing is that he wanted final say over the product, if its his ass on the line for what is portrayed on TV. I can respect that and blame management for the demise of WCW than Russo’s cockamamie booking idears. Besides, I don’t see necrophilia on NWA-TNA. Russo’s demand for control was not met and he hasn’t been seen for the last couple of weeks, which may mean he is history. Think WWE wants him back? Hell, some of the stuff they have pulled would make even a jaded sports entertainment junkie like Russo laugh like a loon, but he’s obviously more creative and attentive to character details than anyone currently in charge, with the exception of Heyman, who has created his own little paradise in the Smackdown brand. But it’s too early for that kind of talk, especially when the “inside sources” are not talking, period.

By this I mean Bob Ryder and the gang at 1wrestling.com. Do you know that all the “rumors” have come from EVERYWHERE BUT Bob’s gang, who usually rumor monger with vigor over any kind of gossip that is going around. All that was over there was one quick story 2 weeks ago. Of course, BOB did the same thing for WCW, except 1wrestling’s credibility would have been totally destroyed if the rest of the website didn’t post at least a few items of backstage rumbling. Why do you think Scherer, Styles Woodward (hey didn’t Buck report that HHH was keeping Steiner out of WWE?) have attacked WWE with so much furor it the past year? They are the only non-partisan game in town. Obviously NWA-TNA is not without its share of backstage controversy but unless Keller or Da Meltz gets hold of it, it’s buried. That’s a shame, especially when we read the Internet for dirt and not to hear that X-Pac is a locker room leader.

I’m hoping for the best for NWA- TNA. The show was the shits there for a few weeks (Disco, Dupps, etc) but it seems as though they are finding their niche with some good action and coherent storylines as opposed to shock value and lame segments. They are obviously no competition for Vince at this point but from what I have read, more and more people are willing recently to shell out $10 for an alternative, which should translate into at least a respectable free TV cable rating, if in fact they can get themselves a national TV deal. And just a prediction – if Turner gets back in the game, look for that idiot Goldberg to worm at least $5 million out of someone. Vince and Ted need a reason to get into a dick measuring contest and an asshole with marketable value would be enough to pull them out of their respective shells, I’m sure.

While I’m on the topic – does anyone really think that Goldberg will end up in WWE? Hell, I would love to see Vince give $3 million that guy come in and get legit stretched by Angle or Lesnar. Goldberg acts like this shit is real and he’s a tough guy, put him in a cage with either of those two and let’s see what happens. That would be 10 times better than watching anything involving Lennox Lewis or Michael Moorer for that matter.

ROLL THE DICE

In another piece of opinionated rambling, it looks as if the sniper is going to walk away from this whole thing. Call it a gut feeling – when you get that many lawyers together bad things happen and they are already talking about the trial not even commencing until over a year from now. If you have read any of my columns for any length of time, you should know how I feel about lawyers, so I won’t even bring that part of it up. But look at It like this –

They have matched the gun using ballistic tests to murders all over the country, including the 13 in the D.C area the car was practically a killing machine and both men were caught IN the car eh, maybe he’ll get 5 years and be out in two; I should try to be more positive. God Bless the legal system of this country.

To balance this stuff out with wrestling news, something is up at The World, the fine NYC establishment owned and operated by WWE. Something about “suspicious transactions” and “no WWE knowledge”. Right on. Just remember that you can’t spell Vincent K. McMahon without using a whole bunch of different letter from the alphabet and I think I’ll just leave it at that.

IN OTHER WORDS

Inside sources tell me that E.C will not be around this week, which is a bummer, but luckily I provide Ostermeyer brilliance in just a few more paragraphs

Continuing to impress is Robert Ortega Jr and his RAW / Smackdown Lines

When you are done reading about wrestling, check out all the other cool stuff likes GAMES!!! MOVIES!!! 411FORUM!!! FLEA’S EXCESS ARCHIVES!!! MUSIC!!! FIGURES!!! AND SO MUCH MORE!!!

And a ver special plug to GRUT, who probably should realize that dogs do not sweat, they pant. And why do I always get second billing to Hyatte? That hurt me more than my golden shower fetish being revealed. Fucking GRUT

PAGE SIX

Alright folks this week is Part II in the look back at some of my favorite Internet Wrestling Community columns. This week I bring you E.C. Ostermeyer, back from his days at Wrestlemaniacs / Wrestline in a piece that just blew me away when I read it. Why? I don’t really know, I just have never forgotten this one – if you have never read it (or E.C’s Mind Sqeezin’s columns in general) I suggest you do so. Good stuff and here is my favorite from him .ENJOY!

FROM THE FLEA’S BAG – Featuring E.C. Ostermeyer

Mind Squeezins: A Corporate “Suit’s” Tale

By E.C. Ostermeyer

Wrestleline/Wrestlemaniacs

Recently, I was promoted at my j.o.b.

Yep, after long years of toiling in the trenches, trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon, and knowing what to kiss, (and when!), my talents multi-various were recognized by some “Higher Up,” and I got dragged further up the corporate ziggurat.

Looks like I’m a corporate “suit,” now.

I now head a department of about thirty software engineers. Their days are filled with coming up with new ideas for new products, which they then design, tweak, test, tear down, build up, revise, and otherwise develop. The marketing division then sells the result to our customers, who pay the company, who pays me. Simple, huh?

In their field, the engineers are each WAY smarter than I am, and have forgotten more about their craft than I could ever hope to learn.

As in any group of highly intelligent, somewhat mischievous individuals, there are several that really stand out.

Two in particular. Let’s call them Bob and Ray.

Bob and Ray have been teamed together since the company’s “headhunters” paid an obscene amount of money to entice them away from our competitors about ten years ago. Their contribution to the success of my company was the stuff of legends in our industry. Their genius was responsible for the design and development of some of our best, most well-known products. In fact, their fame reached the point that some genius in advertising decided to include their freakin’ faces on every retail box we sell! And we sell a bunch of them, too!

As they moved from strength to strength, and success to success, it seemed that nothing could keep Bob & Ray from their positions at the top of their profession.

That is, until Ray started drinking.

I guess it was only a matter of time before one or the other of these two pillars of my company began to crack under the strain. Ray’s problem began because he was working long hours, and losing sleep.

Ray began with a drink before supper, which became two or three. Then, a drink at his favorite watering hole on the way home.

How about a couple at lunch? After lunch? Just before going home?

His first drink behind the wheel of his car was almost his last. Driving to work totally buzzed one morning, he caused a spectacular wreck on the freeway, and nearly took a family of three with him. He made Eyewitness News with that one.

This scared Ray, and, at the request of his family and, of course, Bob, he agreed to go into AA.

The experience just about killed him, because Ray’s system couldn’t handle going cold turkey, no matter how much support he got from his family, his fellow AA members, and of course, Bob.

And so began the cycle of being drunk/sober that characterized Ray’s later career. In and out of Detox, his work, though undeniably brilliant, became erratic. Some projects were completed, but most were presented half-done, or missed their completion deadline altogether.

I have to hand it to our corporate people, they put up with a heck of a lot in dealing with Ray’s erratic behavior. Indeed, one divisional vice president told me that some of Ray’s best work was done when he was in binge mode. They tried to make accommodations, even giving him a big raise.

Still, it was only a matter of time before even the corporate folks’ patience would wear out.

It happened about four months ago. Ray’s wife had just left him, and he decided to “celebrate” at the annual meeting’s cocktail party, in front of a bunch of the stockholders. By the time the police were called, Ray’s career with the company was pretty well in the crapper.

Human Resources gave Ray an ultimatum; clean up or get out. Ray decided to clean up. He was quietly shunted off to a small office in the basement there to count the days to his retirement.

A forgotten man, and good riddance, according to the Personnel Director.

Forgotten, but not by the customers.

Or by Bob.

It was Bob who “stayed loyal” to his friend, who put up with his stupid, drunken antics, who continually went to bat for Ray with the company when they seemed on the verge of firing him. It was Bob who kept Ray’s name in the public eye by capitalizing on the pair’s past reputation, and saying that their best work was always done as a team.

“Keep us together,” Bob pleaded, “and you’ll be surprised!”

Unbelievably, Bob’s campaign worked.

The customers not only wanted more Bob and Ray stuff, but they didn’t care whether Ray was blind drunk or not when he produced it!

This put the corporate suits in a quandary.

On the one hand, Ray’s genius was undeniable. His unannounced appearances at venues like the big ComDex and E3 conventions always caused a stir. The crowds either wanted to get Ray’s most recent glimpse of the future, or they wanted to see if he’d run amok again. The words “cult status” spring to mind.

And there was Bob, “joined at the hip,” as it were, supporting his friend, helping him to work the crowd, and make the magic.

On the other hand, Ray’s drunken antics had become the talk of the industry. Publicly, our competitors tisked-tisked, saying “such a shame about ol’ Ray,” and “guess his company’s got their hands full, but gee, aren’t they a compassionate bunch!” Privately, they snickered at our discomfiture, and considered Ray to be one very addled, pickled egghead, whom they wouldn’t hire if their careers depended on it.

This made our company look ridiculous and unprofessional.

And in our business, a company cannot afford to be made to look ridiculous and unprofessional.

The climax was reached two weekends ago, when another of our employees, with whom we’d had some problems with before, got drunk and went berserk at a convention up in Boston.

Well, our corporate suits didn’t dither this time.

Word was the employee was dragged back to his room at the Hilton, sobered up, and then fired on the spot by the president of the company. He didn’t even get a bus ticket to get home!

And it was at this time that the corporate suits, their hands still bloodied from rough justice served, and their minds still bent upon holy slaughter, decided to settle the problem of Ray once and for all.

Thus it was that, this past Monday morning, Ray showed up at work, (late, as usual), and found his office padlocked and his things boxed up in the hall. There was a big note from the Personnel Director that said “See Me!” taped to one of the boxes.

Just like that, he was gone.

Ray’s termination sent shock waves through my department, and many of my people were understandably outraged at the way Ray was let go.

And none more so than Bob, who stormed into my office, and then into the vice president’s office, to angrily demand Ray’s reinstatement.

Well, the v.p. wasn’t having any attitude from employees that day, and let Bob know in no uncertain terms that he, the v.p. considered the aggravation that Ray’s antics had caused the company to be insupportable. He considered Ray to be a drunken bum, and that, truth be told, he’d just as soon Ray was sent to a Detox Center so remote that he wouldn’t hear the birds chirp!

So this brings my little tale up to the present, specifically to today. I’ve got a mutiny brewing in my department, and Bob started it. This morning, Bob hung a big bed-sheet off the roof of our building with the words “Free Ray!” on it. Then, he called the Eyewitness News folks.

Bob has just walked in my office (for the umpteenth time) to tell me exactly what he thinks about this company in general, and me in particular.

Bob’s been warned on numerous occasions that his preoccupation with his friend and former associate is causing serious delays in the project he’s working on. His behavior could seriously disrupt, even cripple our (my) company, and that puts every employee’s job in peril.

All because of one man’s weakness, and his friend’s intransigence.

It’s my department. Thus, it’s my problem.

What do I do, folks?

What would YOU do?

(The preceding is in no way intended to refer to any persons, living or dead, and any similarity to persons, places or events is purely coincidental. But it does sound familiar, doesn’t it?)

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Did you put two and two together and get the analogy? Hope you did. Give E.C some love if / when you get around to feeding back to this column

This has been The Saturday Matinee and I’m Flea.