Before I get into my little shtick, let me just say that about a month ago during Thanksgiving weekend I flipped onto ESPN at around 2:00 in the afternoon only to be scarred for life by the horror that I witnessed: a repeat of the 2002 US National Age Division Championship and Grand National Jump Rope Competition. That’s right, a full hour dedicated to the age-old gym class exercise, and I must say that while I appreciate most types of athletes and athletic sports, I just can’t bring myself to acknowledge the 2002 US National Age Division Championship and Grand National Jump Rope Competition as a sporting event. I mean it’s one thing to do skillful gymnastics maneuvers or participate in rigorously choreographed cheerleading competitions, but jumping rope? You have to be f****** kidding me!
This, coming from a network whose Web site refused to give the XFL it’s own little subsection on its main page and classified it under Other Football probably because they erroneously questioned whether or not Vince McMahon was rigging all of the games like he rigs wrestling matches. Not that I was high on the XFL, but I think you can sense the hypocrisy I am trying to point out.
Oh, and check out this little tidbit I pulled from the USA Jump Rope Federation Web site:
USA Jump Rope is dedicated to the promotion of the sport of jump rope. Our purpose is to inspire, motivate and educate children and adults through the unlimited opportunities that jump rope provides. Our goals include:
To promote physical fitness through jump rope as a lifetime sport.
To foster confidence, discipline, responsibility and leadership.
Be an informational and educational network for jump rope activities and materials.
Help set standards for terminology and procedures for jump rope competitions.
Provide representation for the sport on the international level
In all seriousness, what mid-20th Century crack-smoking Phys. Ed. instructor came up with this stuff? Well, in any case, here’s my message to ESPN: Next time I’d appreciate it if you stuck to trick-shot billiards or at least one of those strongman competitions on a slow sports day. Or perhaps you should get some pro wrestling in your lineup Ha!
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Okay, onto other matters. After all, this is a column somewhat rooted in pro wrestling, right? (I guess you’ll have to wait and see )
From what I can decipher in the headlines, baseball legend Pete Rose could be on his way back into professional baseball. Meanwhile, professional wrestling’s own SOB – Stone Cold Steve Austin – could be on his way back into WWE as well. I have certainly pondered the parallels between two of my favorite pastimes before, but it seems to me that these two men have sparked strikingly similar discussions as of late, thereby drawing these two factions even closer together.
The fact of the matter is that both of these men are itching like a Brian Knobbs armpit rash to return to prominence after suffering fallouts so damaging that they were literally exiled from the competitive arenas that made them famous (and filthy rich) in the first place. Austin and Rose can’t really blame anyone but themselves for the holes they presently find themselves in, and frankly I would first rather see a woman admitted into Augusta National for the mere symbolic significance of the gesture than see Austin guzzling fake beers on RAW or Rose’s long-awaited Hall of Fame induction ceremony. The truly sad part is that the two currently scarlet-lettered male athletes will most likely be absolved of their wrongdoings before anything progresses on the women’s golf tip.
Another parallel that can be drawn between baseball and particularly World Wrestling Entertainment revolves around the quality of the products being put out and the money that the fans are shelling out to support each industry. Here’s what I mean
It seems to me that in 2002, the Pay-Per-Views that aren’t the “big five†– those being King of the Ring, Summerslam, Survivor Series, Royal Rumble and WrestleMania – have almost been used as vehicles to set up longer-term storylines for the big five PPVs rather than be marketed as individually desirable telecasts. I believe that the big five PPVs this year have been pretty solid for the most part, while the other PPVs have been pretty much mediocre as a whole. The fundamental problem I have with this is that if WWE wants to sacrifice the “lesser†PPVs for storyline purposes and to set up the big five that’s fine; some of us even appreciate slower development of storylines. But to do it and NOT cut PPV costs for the lesser PPVs is what irks me.
Last year, the Colorado Rockies invoked a pay-scale system where the games against premium teams, e.g. the Yankees or Giants, were more expensive than games against teams like the Marlins and Brewers. However, though some games cost more than others, the price for season ticket holders remained on par with the year before, meaning the average cost of tickets was the same. Also, families who had to hold their finances a little more tightly to the vest could get cheaper tickets against lesser teams if they can’t afford premium prices for the bigger games.
In New York, the Mets are instituting a pay scale that will basically follow the Rockies’ 2002 precedent, charging more money for Braves or Yankees games than for Brewers, Expos or Marlins games. I don’t have a problem with that, except for when superstar players like Barry Bonds, for instance, wind up sitting out on a day where I go to a premium priced game.
Despite that little kink, however, I believe that a premium pay scale is an interesting idea and something WWE should perhaps start doing. This would 1) help us marks save a little cash and 2) help salvage their PPV buy-rates. During this current downswing in ratings and dwindling fan interest, why not leave the prices for the big five at the same charge but then cut the costs of the lesser 7 PPVs? If WWE is indeed sacrificing these shows for storyline development, etc., then there’s no reason why the bigwigs over at Titan Towers can’t invoke this policy.
Also, perhaps Vince and co. should start selling yearly PPV packages where hardcore fans can purchase all 12 PPVs in advance for a significantly reduced rate, similar to the deal already in place for baseball season ticket holders. Just another tidbit to munch on.
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Before I leave you with the fondest of holiday wishes, here’s one more note about the Stone Cold Steve Austin situation. Should he be reinstated into WWE, I feel like Austin should be treated by WWE fans similar to the way Latrell Sprewell was regarded when he found himself back in the NBA after choking P.J. Carlesimo: with caution and skepticism, but also with the notion that if he proves to have truly made an effort to conquer his demons, then eventually we as fans can put it in the past and move on. If Stone Cold comes back and really is sorry for what happened in the professional and personal realms of his life, perhaps he’ll have a greater appreciation for his job and the adulation he receives.
And if his wife can stick by him during this trying time, then shouldn’t we – at least after an initial apology – keep his past personal life out of his professional comeback?
I know it may be hard to accept all that happened and move on, but if his wife can do that, then maybe we should follow her courageous lead.
Happy holidays to one and all
Chris Biscuiti
