Well, we certainly have some new digs around here, don’t we?
After much caffeine and little sleep, Widro got the site done with a little help from Yours Truly. I think he’s done a great job on it and I personally dig the new layout/design. Granted, some of the text/background colors may be a little tough to read, but that will all change when he and I get moving on some of the changes and features we’d like to implement. 411 will soon take over the world so join us while there’s till time.
I’d also like to thank everyone that was patient over this past week as we worked the kinks out of the new site. You can’t test for every case and I’m glad that you guys stuck it out especially the dudes over in the forum who took the brunt of the scripting errors. Things have slowed down now on the “FIX MY ACCOUNT, DANIELS†front and I’m happy to say that things are running smoothly. Widro and I are going to take a couple weeks off and then think about some new and improved ‘Mania features so feel free to Email Me with any features you all would really dig on the site.
Also, don’t forget to Register With Us for your chance to win free shit. Also, you get a weekly (supposedly, and only if you want it) newsletter with exclusive stuff that won’t be on the site. Besides, at the very worst, isn’t a shot at winning something worth a little bit of spam? And there isn’t a gimmick here, we actually ARE giving stuff away! Registering also gives you access to the Forum, where you can be busted on for being a Newbie! What is more important than that?!
And with that, lets start with the:
Mailbag
Bill T: Hey Daniels, love your work man, keep up the good work! Anyway, I wanted to comment on something that disturbed me to the point that I actually turned off RAW and seriously considered not coming back. I’ve been a fan since 1985 and have endured a lot of hokey shit, but this one particular moment made my head almost explode. Maybe I missed something or am just plain dumb, but I thought this was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
It was during the match that involved Scott Steiner and the crowd was adamantly and almost joyfully booing him. Reading this site last week, someone brought up the idea that this was a possibility due to his shoddy work at No Way Out. However, perhaps to cover this fact up, good ol’ JR states out of the blue: ” They’re booing him because he has an American flag on his tights.” Uuuhhhh, okay.
No, you didn’t miss the boat on anything. It was JR’s almost embarrassingly obvious attempt to make the televisions fans continue to think of Steiner as a face, even though the live crowds have been reacting to him as a heel since Royal Rumble, where the Boston crowd turned on him and started booing him during a disgustingly bad match with HHH. Since then, the crowds have been booing him, but the announcers and he himself has been working as a face. The American TV audiences know that face/heel alignments occasionally switch in Canada, so it was, at least, a valid attempt by JR. The smartest thing they can do with Steiner, at this point, is either fire him or officially turn him heel. Then at least the boos will seem like the right direction and not be embarrassing.
Jack B: A question, my conservative friend. If a large percentage of Americans plus most of the general populace of the world are against a military strike against Iraq without UN approval, are we justified in making such a strike? How do we justify condemning Iraq for failure to follow UN edict, and then turn around and act on our own without UN approval, or even against UN wishes? By such an act, aren’t we undercutting the authority of the body that we have told Iraq they must obey? I want Saddam out. I believe the world would be a better place without him in it at all, much less wielding power. But, by the same token, I have two problems with our stance. Number one being, if we are telling Iraq they must act in compliance with what the UN wants them to do, I feel we should be compelled to apply the same UN desires to our policy in the matter. And the biggest problem, I do not have the feeling emotionally (I mean personally, inside) that a strike against Iraq in any way is a strike against the perpetrators of 9/11. See, I believe Hussein has no real connection with al Qaeda, due to religious differences (Hussein is secular, which to fundamentalists is worse than capitalist Christian). However, all of Hussein’s government is not secular, which is to say it would still be possible for al Qaeda operatives to lay hands on chemical, biological, or nuclear armaments from Iraq, without even knowledge of this reaching Saddam. So, while I agree that Iraq must disarm any and all weapons of mass destruction, as well as any capabilities to produce such, I feel we only would be justified in going against the UN in this matter if we know we are striking al Qaeda or Osama bin Laden directly. Iraq’s disarmament we should allow the UN to handle, with any and all aid they need from us.
Quite frankly, North Korea scares me a hell of a lot more than Iraq or al Qaeda. Saddam may act like the last thing he wants to do is disarm, but he also acts like the second to the last thing he wants is a US invasion of Iraq. He knows that if the US invades him, almost regardless of the world’s, or the Islamic nation’s, reactions, his regime is toast. The North Koreans, on the other hand, act like a hockey player who has dropped the gloves and is just waiting for ours to hit the ice so they can start swinging. Dubbaya needs to take off his sand-colored glasses and take a much closer look at the North Koreans. Question: Given their attitude in the matter thus far, how long after N Korea develops a functioning nuke will it be before there is a small scale nuclear attack in a city in S Korea?
Are we justified in making a strike? Yes. Should we? Debatable. Do I understand it? Yes. Is it an abuse of power? Maybe. The fact is, this is what we elect a president to do and if he digs the idea of a strike against Iraq, well then, that’s what we do. I would personally be far more in favor of a strike involving just getting Saddam out of Dodge, as I think 99% of the country would be for, as well. But then, in the same situation, would I want to f*ck with someone who f*cked with my dad, and use any means necessary to do so probably. Texas is pretty simple like that, too.
Personally, I agree with you that North Korea is far more of a problem than Iraq, simply because we are setting an awful precedent in this case. We’re basically telling every third world nation that, if they go out and get a couple nukes, we’ll give them billions in aid to not use them. That’s far different than going in and just saying “No, you aren’t doing this and if you do, we’re going to kill you.†Then again, it’s also a “do as I say, not as I do†situation, since we aren’t ditching our nukes anytime soon.
As for the UN, I have always considered it a joke. The US is the UN and we take care of 85% of the UN’s forces (or something ridiculous like that). I’m all for Bush giving the finger to the UN and doing what he wants, and I wish more US presidents would follow his lead. If it was the US vs the Rest of the World, we’d win we don’t need them. But that’s just me.
Whether or not Bin Laden and Hussein are working together, that’s a whole debate. Sure you can argue the religious implications of it, but “the enemy of my enemy†and all that. So who knows.
The other question is: what has Saddam ever actually done to us? But then, what had Osama done before 9/11. The part that scares me the most is that colleges and the media have managed to raise a generation (mine) that is more willing to believe a dictator that tortures people (when he says “naw, we ain’t got nuthin) then they are willing to believe our own nation’s president and I actually find that the most frightening thing of all. Then, you have MTV running around on their XM channel and interviewing Iraqi people in the UNITED STATES who say we deserved the shot on the World Trade Center. Then you also have a girl who will accept aid from the United States Government to go to college, but won’t face the flag during the national anthem. Then you have Skidmore College who wouldn’t play the National Anthem last week because they dislike President Bush. There’s a fine line between protesting something you think is wrong and being UnAmerican these people will suck the government dry and complain they aren’t getting enough in aid, but then turn around and say the government sucks. It makes me sick. While it is their right to protest a government they don’t think is just, which is how this country was founded, at the end of the day, we’re still Americans. If you don’t want to be an American, leave and I’ll be happy to boot your ass on your way out the door. Do better somewhere else. Go to college on the government’s (read yours and my) dime somewhere else.
Top Story
Somehow, the annoying bastard stays in the news. Word on the street is that the WWE is thisclose to signing the Heva. The thing keeping them apart right now is the number of dates Heva will have to work every month. The WWF wants him to work a full schedule, you know, like everyone else who works for them including the Rock, Austin, HHH, etc, and Heva maintains that he should only be a special attraction for PPVs.
While I really have no problem with Heva’s stance, I think the WWE would be insane for caving in to it. Heva will be like every other patch the WWF has tried in the last two years. Granted, he will probably pop a huge buyrate for ‘Mania, and maybe even for Backlash but the fact of the matter remains: they need a long term solution. If they pay him some seven figure salary for almost no work, they are not going to get a big return on their investment. As the response to a column I wrote last year told me, lots of people will buy Wrestlemania just because it’s Wrestlemania. Business has been in the worst shape it’s been in five years, and they’ve still managed to come close to selling out a 50,000+ seat arena. My roommate, who lives in NY is going to Seattle to watch the thing, and he can’t even afford it.
Goldberg is another case of throwing everything you can at the wall just to see what sticks. He’s also a case where they are trying to fix things without getting at the root of the problem, which again, for those not paying attention at home, is the writing and the continuity department. No one on either show has figured out the idea of episodic television. From a storyline perspective, Smackdown is still an awful, awful show, but they are smart enough to throw two or three decent matches a week on there to keep everyone happy. Raw doesn’t do either. They can’t write, and they don’t wrestle so what you have left is an awful show.
Goldberg will not fix Raw. He will be there for Mania, which will help the buyrate (which will be huge if he’s there or not) if he’s not on Raw the next night, it’s pointless. PPV revenue is just part of the company’s profits and without weekly television being good, no one buys the PPVs. The wrestlers need to be on Raw/Smackdown for the four or five shows that lead into the PPV to ADVERTISE for the PPV. You need to make the marks WANT to see the match on the PPV. Make them salivate for it. Just telling them “yeah, these two guys are putting on a fake match for no good reason†isn’t going to do it, regardless of the star power they might have.
Signing Heva to a contract where he only appears on the PPVs without having him on TV is like Nike trying to introduce a new product without advertising. You don’t buy it because you don’t know it’s there. They don’t make you think you want it or, more importantly, they don’t make you think you NEED it. They need to make people think they NEED to see the PPVs or they will miss some vital part of the ongoing story. The problem is, there ISN’T and HASN’T BEEN a good ongoing story since Austin/McMahon. The Invasion had a good shot, but it’s over.
Now, would signing Heva to a decent dated contract for a reasonable amount of money be a decent plan? Absolutely. The Invasion storyline is good enough to be worth a second shot, and now they have key players interested in it. Goldberg (who I said would eventually realize the world does not care about him if he isn’t wrestling and he has), Sting, Lex Lugar, Nash, Hall, Flair, and Bischoff are all in, or would be in, the company given the right drive. It’s all right there for the taking but it won’t work to throw a HUGE amount of money at Goldberg and hope it all sorts itself out. I don’t care how good they think he is the WWF audience can’t be predicted when it comes to WCW talent. Much like Hogan, Goldberg could be brought in and be turned on viciously be the WWE fans just because 88% of the people who visit his site think he should return doesn’t mean dick. That’s like me doing a poll in this column of “How many people like Daniels.†I’d bet about 70% of you would say yes you know why? BECAUSE YOU’RE READING MY FUCKING COLUMN. Goldberg asking people who visit his website if they like him or not is pointless and a mental blowjob on his part.
Goldberg is not the end all of the WWE’s problems but he could be a useful part in the machine if he wants to be. I don’t think he really does, because ANOTHER word on the street has him wanting full creative control of his character. That should be an immediate flag to anyone that the dude isn’t willing to lose, nor go anywhere he doesn’t see fit. Heel turn? What heel turn? Lose to who? Work a program with who? No, that doesn’t fit into the Goldberg mystique.
For the love of whatever Gods you worship, I hope the WWE doesn’t cave to him.
The Reason this is coming up at all
Is the rash of injuries the WWF has fallen victim to in the last week or so. Since last week, they’ve lost Orton, Batista, Bubba Ray, and most damning of all, Kurt Angle. Angle wasn’t so much of a recent injury as something lingering that has just hung around for years, much in the line of Edge and Benoit. Of course, it couldn’t come at a worse time for the WWF, with the two month build of Angle/Lesnar and, with Angle out for a year, it’s one of their best talents suddenly not on the show anymore.
As for the other three guys, this returns to the questions of whether or not House Shows are even worth the risk anymore. You probably had these guys out there performing for a house of about 2000 people, which probably barely covered the cost of having the wrestlers there that night, and BOOM, one of your major angles is in the shitter for the foreseeable future. Orton, after having one of the most amusing comebacks in recent memory is gone for another two months and Batista, who just needs a good, solid push to get over is gone for another six. Which leaves Raw right back where it started with three aging superstars and a bunch of guys under the glass ceiling.
The thing with Orton and Batista is that they were fresh faces, and they haven’t been ruined yet, much like Booker T. Booker is about the only fresh face on Raw and one of the few things worth watching. Evolution was turning out to be something fun to watch, but now this week, they’ve just vanished with no mention of what happened to them. Nobody “taking them out†to get to HHH no mention of them at all. Now, wouldn’t it have been nice if they allowed Booker to have “Taken them out†over the weekend and then have Booker take Flair out at some point before Mania? I think it would have it might have made Book seem a little more like a contender, rather than an afterthought.
Of course, if there WASN’T a house show business, then this never would have happened and the television product would still be intact but, income is income, I suppose.
Girls Gone Wrestling
Does anyone else beside me see the dude who invented Girls Gone Wild as the smartest man in the history of the world? I mean, it took a genius to figure out: “shit, people love porn people love college students. Chicks are inherent exhibitionists so if I throw these parties, I can get chicks to take off their shirts and then I can make pornos without paying anyone a dime!†I only wish I came up with idea first, to be honest.
So, Eric Bischoff, GGW, and the WWE are making a joint PPV, apparently and it will be broadcast live this Thursday from Panama City Beach, FL at an undisclosed Spring Break destination. Well, from my personal experiences down there, I will lay odds that it will either be at La Vela or, more likely, Sharky’s. Sharky’s Bar, for those who have never been down there, is a joint down there a little off the strip that sponsers a party conveniently on Thursdays which offer the following: All you can eat Subs, Pizza, and Burgers and all you can drink Beer and Trashcan Punch for the low bargain price of $20 for the entire day. Needless to say, the thing runs for about 8 hours and, offer college kids who are in the location for the specific reason of getting drunk free booze, you can all imagine what kind of shape they will be in around the time the cameras roll in. Now, unfortunately, Panama City has this crazy rule of no nudity on the beach, so whenever a girl (when I was there, anyway) would get a little to excited, the cops would haul her away in handcuffs to a chorus of boos.
La Vela, on the other hand, is mostly indoors and, presumably, private property they also had the Voyeur Dorm girls there last year (who are amazingly, disgustingly hot, I’m not afraid to say) so obviously they have no problem promoting a lil bit of da porn. They also have a pool inside so as long as they keep it all inside, I can’t see where they’d have a problem. Problem is, they have to work to counteract the pull of Sharky’s that day. La Vela also has the bonus of being the biggest f’n nightclub in the world, so I’m sure that is quite a draw for the GGW people. “Live, from the biggest spring break nightclub in the world, GIRLS GONE WILD – SPRING BREAK.â€Â
The only downer on the whole thing has been the mayor of PCB, who has stated that the cops have been instructed to arrest anyone baring their breasts, and anyone egging girls on to bare their breasts. He’s what we refer to as “a buzzkill.†But hey, it’s his city and those are his rules he just better be careful about turning PCB into Daytona, which has lost an insane amount of their spring break dollars over the years not that they don’t make it up with the Motorcycle convention and the 500, but whatever.
The worst part about this whole thing? I HAVE A JOB NOW AND DON’T GET TO GO ON SPRING BREAK. GODDAMMIT! ONE YEAR THAT IT WOULD BE TOTALLY WORTH IT TO GO, AND I’M STUCK PROGRAMMING A WEBSITE. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD???!??!
If you’re heading down there this week, 1) be careful and 2) get to La Vela at least once. Also, find this GGW PPV and go, just don’t get arrested.
What does this have to do with wrestling? Test might be there. If I was a wrestler, I’d be there, too. Not only do I get to go on Spring Break I get to be famous and go on Spring Break. Oh hella yes.
Speaking of breast baring
Torrie Wilson’s first photo from her playboy spread is up on playboy.com. Sorry guys, she’s still got clothes on in it. Personally, Torrie has never been my favorite in any of the federations, but whatever works.
If/When Stacy does one of these, however, don’t plan to find one in upstate NY, as it will be my personal mission to get every single copy I can to wallpaper my room with.
But then, Trish seems to get hotter on an average of once every three weeks, for some reason so she’d be ok, too.
The Torrie issue should be out shortly or out now as part of the Wrestlemania Hype. She’s also slated to be on Howard Stern at some point relatively soon. Expect Howard to ask her about changing and what cup size she is and if she’d do him. How do I know? Because Stern asks the same question of every model that comes into the studio and has for the last 20 years.
I mean, has anyone noticed this besides me? He’s been doing the same gimmick for the last forever. The E! show is the same thing every night. Some super hot girl taking her clothes off in the studio.
On another note, I love Stern, and have no problem with anything he does. It’s hilarious when he goofs on people that need goofing on, and I’m glad he decided to stick around for another few years.
Racism on Raw
People will start clamoring pretty soon if they stick with this racism deal between HHH and Booker T. The only reason I don’t care for it is because it’s a new thing with HHH. He’s feuded with the Rock for many years, and no mention of this racism thing has ever come up. Now, against Booker, he’s suddenly haughty Hunter Hearst Helmsley again like he’s some rich kid from the ‘burbs who can’t be bothered with someone from the wrong side of the track. That’s cool and all, but Hunter hasn’t been the spoiled rich-kid from Greenwich for the last five years. It’s stupid to have it suddenly happen to him after he’s feuded with, and lost to, the Rock on many, many occasions and this hasn’t come up before?
Regardless, whatever they want to work into the angle to make me care, I understand I just hate the split personalities that many of the WWF guys have right now. No one in the back knows how to develop a character and it sucks.
However, Booker T’s Mugshot Rules and makes it all ok.
In Other Reading
Blake Norton has something to say about Kurt being on his way out and how he would book it if in charge. I think it’s a reasonably good idea, but also hinges too much on the acting talent of Stephanie. A good actor can communicate things by looks, and Steph is not that good It also calls for Brock to come out of character, which I’m totally not for. However, he does point out that pretty much anyone on the roster can pretty much slut the heat this match has going into it if the title switch next week is worked the right way. Check it out.
Dave Dymond talks about Opinions.
David Murphy Praises old shows.
Robert Ortega Jr with Lines, the column I still don’t understand and that’s with actually being into horse racing, so I see the forms. Regardless, if that’s your thing, peep it.
Also, big thanks to Scott Keith who sent me a free copy of his book. Check back here next week for a review, and whether or not I think you should Buy the Book.
In Closing
ERIC S returns this week to put me in my place. With him back and Flea floating around, I’m not sure if I will still be here next weekend or not. Only one-way to find out and that’s to come back and take a look in seven days. Someone will be in Monday and the return of Eric on Tuesday. Along with the return of ME to the music Site after two weeks of no Daniels fix on 411music.
Till then .
