Leave Your Spandex At The Door 3.15.03: Rants & Reviews

No need to pinch yourselves and rub your eyes, this is no illusion, this is no hoax… After a long sabbatical (sorry Ben), LYS@D is back at the new and improved 411Comics for your enjoyment! For those of you now tuning in on this column, my name is Manolis and this is 411Comics’ Mature Readers Comics’ corner.
This week I’m providing reviews for February’s comics releases, providing a detailed grading system, comparative to previews reviews in this column.

Pick of the month: CATWOMAN #16: “Relentless: conclusion”. Relentless has been the best story arc of this book, and, in my opinion, the best story to come out of the DC mainstream offices in years. Previous issues have set the stage for a big showdown between Selina, Black Mask and Sylvia. I’m not usually a fan of action-packed stories, but this is far from your usual superhero fisticuffs. Ultimates, eat your heart out, this is true widescreen action in comics! Brubaker and Stewart provide cinematic action, impressive (but still realistically believable) acrobatics and dramatic tension. I believe this storyline, as is, would make an ideal script for the upcoming Catwoman movie…
Special kudos to Cameron Stewart for all things noted above, and for his ability to pull so many panel-heavy pages with impeccable sequential flow and without making them feel crowded. (Most pages this issue had about 12 panels. The most panel-heavy page had a staggering 16-panel grid, while the lightest page panel-wise was the last page, with the much-awaited kissing scene, depicted in 5 panels)
Story: 9
Art: 9
Overall: 9

SLEEPER #2: This is more like it! I was mildly disappointed with the 1st issue of this series, but had decided to give it one more chance to convince me it’s worth buying. Am I convinced? No, not yet, but it sure warrants another try, so final judgment is reserved for #3. This issue is another stand-alone story, as Carver gets involved in the death of his superior officer. The story jumps back and forth in time, but it remains clear and easy to follow. Carver’s unique situation and powers are recounted briefly again here (he’s working undercover in a supervillain operation), so new readers should have no problem picking the series from this issue without feeling lost…
Despite the colorful cover, don’t expect to find any sort of color variety inside, apart from muddy brown tones. Sean Phillips’ art is already really heavy with ink and the coloring doesn’t do much to help clear things up. I think the art would look better in b&w…
Story: 6
Art: 5
Overall: 5.5

Y THE LAST MAN#8: The highlight of this issue is undoubtedly the stunning depiction of a blood-covered Hero in the issue’s splash title page! Pia and Brian, I don’t know if you’re reading this column, but thanks for keeping a blood-obsessed fan happy, with the third such splash page in 4 issues! Apart from bloody noses, Brian K. Vaughan also provides a blooming romance between Yorick and flowery skirt girl, the revelation of Marrisville’s dark secret and a peculiar scene between Hero and Victoria. The secret of Marrisville isn’t something I was expecting, but it now it seems rather obvious with last issue’s hints. The opening scene with Victoria is my only grudge from this issue, as I think Hero was too easily persuaded by Victoria, especially considering the seriousness of the argument. I hope this is addressed in future issues.
Concerning Pia Guerra’s art, there’s nothing to add, the lady is constantly improving, and her fetish for bloody women is commendable.
Story: 8
Art: 9
Overall: 8

VERTIGO PRESENTS: BAST #2: Bast provides Egyptian Mythology 101 courses to the wayward kitty ghost. The feeling of the series changes dramatically from last issue’s social drama, and for the middle issue of a 3-issue mini, it’s surprisingly new-reader friendly! The twist ending caught me off-guard, as I was expecting a different direction, fro mwhat I had read in the issue solicits.
The narrative captions throughout the issue are very distracting, since half the time they’re standard third-person narrative, but then they switch to first-person narrative from Bast or other protagonists. Artwise, Joe Bennet has diversified his style from his humble spandex-specific beginnings (which I found unappealing at the time), and he seems to have a knack for drawing cute kittens, making him an ideal match for this series.
Story: 6
Art: 4
Overall: 5

X-STATIX #8: “The moons of Venus: conclusion”. Someone pinch me. In this issue of X-Statix the truly unexpected happens, as Peter Milligan wraps up all dangling plotlines and character in-fighting in a way corny even by “7th Heaven” standards… This storyline has played with fans’ expectations, especially concerning Bad Guy’s true identity. This issue, he does the unexpected, by going for the most expected solution and then giving it a Milligan twist. The book is its usual witty and intelligent self… up to the middle of the book. Then the book become rose-scented as every single thing miring Venus’ existence becomes obsolete [SPOILERS AHEAD]: she remembers her “dark secret”, Bad Guy is defeated, she makes friends with Dead Girl, she patches O’Sullivan’s grudge with the team, she gains a new body with fully-functional genitalia, she hooks up with Guy, loses her virginity and discovers her family alive and well in an alien dimension… I half-expected Glorian (infamous Marvel character with a fetish of granting people’s desires) to jump from around the corner and end this happy parade. “This Is your Mom’s superteam”, take cover! I’m still hoping for some trouble to arise next issue, I’m not one to desert on my fave book so easily.
Story: 6
Art: 9
Overall: 7

VERTIGO POP: LONDON#4: The final issue of this mini-series. The characters’ individual arcs come to a satisfying close, with some great moments, and an unpredictable X-StatiX outcome to the final stand-off between the starring characters that works in the context of the story and is a witty wink (he he) to the readers and traditional storytelling…
Grade: 9/10

TOM STRONG’S TERRIFIC TALES #6: Three self-contained stories, with Tom Strong, Young Tom and Jonni Future each falling under the influence of a different hallucinogenic drug. Truly, the funkiest issue yet. (and Art Adams’ sexiest issue with an extended lesbian orgy scene)
Grade: 5.5/10

HELLBLAZER#181: a self-contained story, as John’s disembodied soul races through London trying to escape from some spooky-looking demons. This is artist Jock’s Vertigo debut, and is quite impressive, especially in the facial expressions during Chas’ return home. Keep an eye on the lad!
Grade: 6.5/10

LUCIFER #35: “Come to Judgment part 2 of 2”. The fate of Elaine’s murderer is revealed, and Lucifer completes his quest for Naglfar. Mike Carey has come up with another insidious trap for Lucifer, and a more insidious way for Lucifer to survive it! Peter Gross struts his stuff with breath-taking depictions of frost giants.
Grade: 8/10

UNCANNY XMEN#419: “Dominant Species part 3”. Paige wakes up. Alex wakes up. That will be $2.25 please… Arguably the best execution of the “mutant soap sitcom” theme since David’s X-factor (with havoc and Polaris as themselves, Northstar as the obnoxious speedster, Iceman and Juggernaut as Jamie and Guido, Paige and Annie filling in for Wolfsbahne with the Havok-obsession)
Grade: 6.5/10

NEW X-MEN#137: “Riot at Xavier’s part 3”. The weakest part so far. The students take over, and the teachers stand around and look bossy. There’s more action and mobility on the cover, than in the entire issue… Still, you gotta love Emma Frost and her bitch class, as well as Quitely’s once-in-a-year outing.
Grade: 6.5/10

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The rest of you, tune back in 411comics and “Leave Your Spandex @t the Door” next week for an interview with the guys behind Image Comics’ Paradigm comic.

Do you want to discuss this article? Visit the message boards and voice your opinions (but please no death threats!). As always, I’m waiting for your comments through email or in the boards…

Manolis Vamvounis
a.k.a. Doc Dooplove