Grut Vs Daniels 5.14.03


VPJG: Welcome back to an all new Grutman vs. Daniels! My good friend Daniels won the last debate, so he gets to choose the topic. Danny boy?

Kaisen316: better acquisition Road Warriors or Ultimo

VPJG: Ugh. I don’t know much about Ultimo. I’ll take the Warriors.

Kaisen316: dude, Ultimo owns the Warriors
Kaisen316: look at their last run in WWE

VPJG: Oh, come on! The Warriors always at least pop the crowd. Some little guy in a mask who’s 50 can’t do that.
VPJG: Why’s Sunny a whore?

Kaisen316: Because she’s female

VPJG: NO WAY! Seriously, what’s wrong with females? The smell nice and suck your cock. Some of them do that for money!

Kaisen316: the ones that do it for money at least admit they’re whores.

VPJG: That’s true. All six of the girl I’ve payed for sex have admitted they were whores.
VPJG: Whores like the Ultimo Dragon, selling out his country for WWE glory! He should be ashamed of himself.

Kaisen316: Ultimo can at least wrestle, though they will probably strip his talent away to work WWE style.

VPJG: Did you know that Road Warrior Animal is only 6 years older then Eddie Guerroro? He said so. That leads me to believe Road Warrior Animal is only a slightly older Eddie Guerroro.
VPJG: Besides, you gotta think about loyalty. The Road Warriors have been there for the WWE. Gotta respect loyalty.

Kaisen316: loyalty?

VPJG: Yeah. Ultimo wrestled for WCW. Road Warriors, at least for most of the 90’s, were Vince men.
VPJG: Loyalty.

Kaisen316: Wait, let’s see… A guy who can wreslte really well… or a set of guys who are over because one is really jacked and one says “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!!!”
Kaisen316: oh wait, and Animal has a Mohawk

VPJG: And they wear spikes! And biker helmets, if I remember correctly.

Kaisen316: yes, and they are a HUGE DEMOLITION RIPOFF

VPJG: I don’t disagree. Meanwhile, you have tiny ultimo tim bouncing around with some other cruisergayte. Is that gonna draw anything?

Kaisen316: this is assuming the Road Whorriers are going to draw a dime
Kaisen316: in a sad, sad, sad, pathetic, and oh yeah… SAD tag team division

VPJG: Still, look at it from the personal side. Hawk had a fight with Vince. I think it’s nice that Hawk and Vince made up and got back together. Money had something to do with it, but it makes me happy nevertheless.

Kaisen316: oh yes, that’s great.

VPJG: It is. Isn’t it?

Kaisen316: Maybe we’ll have Hawk push Droz off the Titan Tron
Kaisen316: Attacking a cripple, that’ll draw MILLIONS!
Kaisen316: At least Ultimo is fun to watch.

VPJG: Yeah, but it’s good to have our past favorites, people we spent countless hours with, back for one more run. Right?

Kaisen316: Yes, but the Road Warriors had their “one more run” back in 2000

VPJG: They should have another. If we completely let go of the past, what do we have to hold on to? Besides, our past wants to be let back into our lives. I say let’s let the past back in.

Kaisen316: That argument doesn’t hold water…. Ultimo is from the past too
Kaisen316: and he’s a Dragon, do you know how cool Dragons are for God’s sake?

VPJG: Dragons don’t need women. I agree. But you do, don’t you Tom?
VPJG: Tell me, Tom, when she called you tonight after hearing you wanted to take a girl with you to Cancun, how did that make you feel?
VPJG: You got drunk again, didn’t you Thomas? As drunk as the night she dumped you! There’s no finishing move better then the Doomsday Device.

Kaisen316: The 3D outdoes the Doomsday Device any day and twice on Saturday
Kaisen316: and that was a low blow you whore

VPJG: She just wants to use you, Tom. She’ll never love you again. The 3D is played out and Undertaker used the Dragon Sleeper.

Kaisen316: YOu won’t ever see the DD in the WWE, it broke Henry Godwin’s neck.
Kaisen316: You think the chicks who sleep with you want your mind, playwrite?
Kaisen316: They want the part…. and I’ve never paid for it six times like some of us in this debate.

VPJG: It’s spelled playwright, lonely palms.
VPJG: And yes, I do pay for sex! At least I don’t get drunk when my ex-girlfriend calls me!

Kaisen316: oooh, grammar corrections… yer ZINGING me tonight, m’man. ZINGING me I tell ya

VPJG: Pathetic. I’ve seen mice with bigger balls then you.
VPJG: I’ve paid for sex with mice with bigger balls then you!

Kaisen316: no, you get drunk when your ex-boyfriends call though
Kaisen316: for one to have an “ex”-girlfriend, one must date “girls”
Kaisen316: And, for the record, my palms are never lonely… they get plenty of action.
Kaisen316: In fact, they’re being lubed up as we speak.

VPJG: Ooooooh. Breaking out the gay jokes. That hurts, Tom. Hurts like my heart was crushed into a million pieces by a girl I dated for 3 or so years and then dumped me out of the blue and I got drunk and did a wrestling column.
VPJG: FINAL ARGUMENT TIME! Tom, be my guest.

Kaisen316: I hate Joshua Grutman with all that I am and all I ever will be… what the hell were we arguing about?
Kaisen316: oh wait
Kaisen316: Yeah, the Road Warriors are far past their prime and weren’t popular the last time they were in the WWF, now even fewer people will remember who they were. Ultimo has been gone a while, but sheer talent alone will get him over. Ultimo by a landslide
Kaisen316: A vote for me, is a vote for Ultimo

VPJG: And now, my retort.
VPJG: First of all, that’s f*cking cheap. A vote for you isn’t a vote for Ultimo. This is a debate! Some people don’t want their past to come back into their lives. Some people will do anything to avoid the past. Some people will get drunk to forget about the past. But Hawk and Animal are our past., Even if just for the first time they come back, let’s thank them with some applause. They won’t set the world on fire in the ring, but I don’t think Ultimo has any knees left. And the Road Warriors can’t be worse then
VPJG: Nathan Jones.

Kaisen316: I hear Nathan Jones is a better wrestler than Widro is an actor
Kaisen316: but that’s just a rumor

VPJG: Widro is the greatest actor of all time. He acted like he wasn’t enjoying it while he was f*cking your ex-girlfriend.

Kaisen316: Widro gets more pussy than everyone on this site except Claire Flynn Boyle
Kaisen316: no woman, and most men, can’t resist his charms

VPJG: Yeah, but all his girls are fat. Anyway, send your vote to Mr. Lonelyheart. He seemed to enjoy getting the responses last week.

Kaisen316: I thought it was your turn? Or is Mr “i’m a playWRIGHT” too busy for his fans?
Kaisen316: oh wait, they’re MY fans
Kaisen316: Who’s got the winning record? Oh yeah, his name is ME

VPJG: Okay! I’ll do it. Send em in.
VPJG: Who chooses the harder sides? ME!
VPJG: Who’s doing something with his life? ME!

Kaisen316: Again, who has a job?
Kaisen316: ME!

VPJG: Who isn’t a prisoner of love’s past, a simple phone call from an ex turning me into a raging alcoholic? ME!
VPJG: This is Grutman signing off, hoping Daniels finds true love again before drowning in Scott Keith’s semen.

Kaisen316: This is Daniels, saying Grutman is the devil spawn himself…. and still wondering why the man is fixated with Scott Keith’s semen.