The Little Things 08.15.03: Spanky, Big Show, Eddie & More


No RAW this week and probably next week as the move has drastically altered my cable television situation. My precious digital cable television won’t be back for about two weeks. I am left instead with a very strange cable connection that gives me the major networks and some choice channels that includes the Do-It-Yourself-Network, Speed Television, the Travel Channel and Hallmark. Thankfully, I still get UPN, so this column rolls onward!

Let’s do this. I’ll do the Readers’ Pick that would’ve appeared in the RAW column and one from last week’s SmackDown! since you readers are beast as far as contributing your observations goes.

Readers’ Picks I: Not Shouldering One’s Load?

Eric S. certainly stole my thunder on the sell job Randy Orton performed for Ric’s chops of endearment. However, that is not why I’m mentioning it here. There is no doubt that what Randy did was great, but reader James McRae brings up a very important point – that sometimes it’s not the Little Things you do, but the Little Things that are not done that can really define a segment:

When Orton grimaced in pain from the little smack Flair gave him across the
chest it was gold. Ric Flair has a reputation for some of the hardest chops in the history of the business, and Orton’s reminder, and slight oversell of the tap was too sweet. When Goldberg no-sells a Flair chop in a match it really pisses me off and frustrates me. If he sells them like they hurt and goes on to win i respect him more, not less for having
been affected in the first place.

My only criticism on Orton for the evening has to be during his slow counts for Goldberg. I was hoping he was going to break out the shoulder injury bit from a few months ago. When he came out to do his RNN update and grimaced and held his shoulder I loved it. Too bad we didn’t get the at RAW

This is exactly the type of thing that WWe is NOT doing in order to establish a running memory of its shows. Why not bring that gag out of the mothballs, place it logically in a match and get Randy over as not only a heel, but a funny and conniving heel? I guess they just plum forgot. We can only imagine how funny that would’ve been had he done it.

Readers’ Picks II: Everyday Eddie

Last week, it appears that Eddie Guerrero and Mike Cioda pulled off a classic bit of old-school heelishness. I know that Jericho essentially did this same bit a few weeks ago, but Eddie needs to have a special place in this column to himself this week. From what I have seen, this guy would be among the column’s regulars, were he on RAW. Tom Tennant gives us a quick overview from last week:

Everything that Eddie Guerrero does, from the “I got away with it” smile to him finding a new way to cheat his way to a victory. Last Thursday he was truly on top of his game especially in the tag match. When he choked Tajiri on the outside then went
over to the corner to straighten up the ring apron, that was great. Making a “cut it” motion across his throat when the crowd was chanting for Benoit was another thing that I think just adds to his character.

Also I have to give big ups to Ref Mike Cioda for a wonderful little thing that I’m not sure if people caught. When Eddie came in and clapped his hands behind the ref’s back, classic heel non tag, and took over as Rhyno slid out. Mike turned around and
signaled a tag and pointed to his ears letting Benoit know that he heard the tag.

He and Mariah (HiddenIntensity) brought this to my attention even though it is known that I only cover SmackDown! when stuff like this cable crap comes up. Very useful and very entertaining to have on hand, though, so keep sending them in. You never know when they’ll be needed

Let’s see what has been going down on this show since the last time I covered it. Here is the Little Five for the 08.14.2003 edition of SmackDown!:

1. Oh Yeaaaaaah!

No, this isn’t about the Macho Man. I can remember the last time I really took a look at Brian Kendrick, the Sunflower shirt he had on stood out as quite a funny gag. So last night, when I saw that ridiculously yellow Kool-Aid shirt, I couldn’t help but notice how funny it was that he has kept this up. This column has always proclaimed that the wardrobe of a wrestler can add a lot to his or her character. I think this is an excellent case in point, so much so that I could picture myself tuning in each week just to see what goofy shirt Kendrick has pulled from Goodwill for the week.

This guy, as demonstrated last night, is a magnet for funny bits. I almost fell off my couch when Vince called him a stain on the underwear of life.

2. Cases In Point

The boxes of beer behind the APA as they discussed reopening their protection agency was an excellent touch. It also provides an excellent excuse as to why Bradshaw said that you never see Bruce Wayne and Superman in the same room. I guess if one has gone through that many cases, one can mix up their comic book heroes pretty easily.

The picture of Shelton Benjamin with Shaniqua’s hair speaks for itself, by the way.

3. Check It Out

Eddie checking himself out in the rear view mirror of his low rider is an excellent touch to his character. But let’s face it, there was something incredibly surreal about seeing Benoit sit in the thing, much less seeing him signal for the hydraulics to kick in. I can’t tell who is the heel, if anyone, but the two have chemistry together, which produces excellent matches and now some humorous skits.

4. Hip Check

This was a very noticable difference between watching RAW and SmackDown! for this columnist. Instead of mindless babbling about puppies and a total lack of focus on the match at hand, I think I heard Cole, MICHAEL COLE, explain to me how Big Show was hurting the Undertaker every time he kicked out by driving his arm up into the ribs. AND I WASN’T EVEN THINKING ABOUT THAT I ACTUALLY GOT INTO THE MATCH MORE AS A RESULT OF THE COMMENTARY A MATCH BETWEEN BIG SHOW AND THE UNDERTAKER.

It’s amazing what a little thing like a decent commentary can do for a show. It really is. Extra credit to the Big Show for motioning to his own abdominal area before the match began in front of the Taker to give him an idea of what he had coming to him.

5. Dropping Beats

This part of the column will obviously stay intact. I cannot emphasize this enough – I get excited about seeing this guy as much as I got excited about seeing Jericho back when he was a cruiserweight on Nitro. He says and/or does something interesting every single time he steps into the ring.

Last night, the rap jokes about making a last stand and naturally loving hip-hop were obviously great. The fact that he has added TWO more hand signals (You can’t see me and the brushing of the shoulder) for the fans to imitate is even more astounding. But after all of this, the man still had the presence of mind to replicate the Tommy Dreamer spot that was featured a few weeks ago making the ref raise the uninjured arm after he blistered Zach with the F-U.

Bonus Feature: Five Observations From My Mother

This part of the column is designed to show you, the Internet fan, what a non-traditional part of the audience may be thinking while watching the show. My mother watches both shows every week and is totally untainted by the influence of the Internet. I think it is interesting for comparative purposes

1. I like Kidman. He kinda looks like Sylvester Stallone
2. The Undertaker sure has managed to keep himself in good shape the Giant (Big Show) though, he is still fat.
3. Is he (Billy Gunn) still queer? I can’t tell.
4. I don’t see how Zach moves around like that. He has guts.
5. GROSS! (referring to Albert’s backstage confrontation with Stephanie)

Keep the comments coming (either show, but SmackDown! is the focus next week once again). See ya next week.