Let’s do this.
Obligatory Opening Paragraph About Football
I improve to 3-0 in the staff fantasy football league since Denver decided to throttle the Raiders without the help of Clinton Portis. I cannot say enough good things about Jamal Lewis and the magic of reconstructive surgery.
There will be nothing said, however, about the Redskins’ loss other than sometimes it helps not to try 50 yard field goals and to play a little field position. That’s our lesson for the day.
Rock You Like A Hurricane II
Isabel has come and gone, leaving me without power for the 5th consecutive day. Here is what it left in my front yard:
Amazingly, there was no structural damage to my house. Even more amazingly, I managed to find a couple of good excuses to return home to nearby Lynchburg, namely potable running water and electricity. This also allowed me to watch the pay-per-view on Sunday, but RAW has once again fallen by the wayside. Fortunately, ahem, work has power so I can bump yet another column out to you.
Tickled Fink
Reader Mathew Sforcina submitted a very clever entry into the Little Things Hall of Fame for this week. One of the more overlooked components of every match is the ring announcer and throught the years, Howard Finkel has been the voice behind many of WWe’s matches. However, he often goes beyond the call of duty and has left us fans with a litany of memories. Let’s take a look:
1: Eyes On The Prize
As many people have stated over the years, when Howard is at ringside, while he might be having a conversation with a fan, holding someone’s towel, whatever, he is always paying attention to the ring, and everytime there is a fall, he holds the mic up, and gets ready to make the call. Realism is important.
2: Summerslam 1998
Howard was shaved by Jeff Jarrett in the pre show, as Jarrett had been doing to many superstars. So X-Pac, Jarrett’s opposition, brought Howard out with him, wearing a DX shirt. But when X-Pac did that crotch chop/pyro X thing, the way Howard tried to do it also was a great moment, it was perfect in its unco-ordanation.
3: When Push Comes To Shove
The way he pushed Lillian towards 3 Minute Warning and ran away was cowardly, selfish and funny as hell.
4: The Voice
C’mon, the man is the Voice of the WWE’s major highlights, and he always makes things that little bit more special.
5: Marathon Man
Just being around. He is WWE’s longest serving employee, their first ever employee. Just the fact he is still with them and never left is an important link to the past. MSG, the world title, The Fink. He’s never a major part, but he’s always a part. He might be the ultamite little thing.
I really enjoyed this entry not only for the memories but because it made me think of how we take certain aspects of the sport for granted. I remember at the recent Richmond house show that Fink was there, but I believe he was walking with the aid of a cane. It makes me appreciate guys like him, Flair, and even Sgt. Slaughter for what they are while they are here.
How about some Little Things action for the Unforgiven pay-per-view? Here we go for WWe Unforgiven 09.21.03:
1. Knee Jerk Response
Perhaps my favorite little moment of the night was after Jericho’s pep talk to La Resistance in the locker area. After promising to stand up for them and the rest of those done wrong by Stone Cold, one of the members of La Resistance tapped the one laying on the bench on his injured knee as a show of good faith. Of course, this hurt the guy and he winced in agony. Grenier and Conway were the ones responsible but it happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to see who was who. Great bit.
2. Crossing His Rubicon
My other favorite moment, along with a lot of you out there, had to be when Shane crossed himself before he plummeted from the balcony of the WWe Unforgiven stage. I called for a holy shit mark out moment in the Roundtable, and Shane did not disappoint after hinting at one with this gesture. It makes the Little Five based on its coolness alone.
3. Well Coached
Did anyone hear Coach telling JR “Not the Face!†while he got on top and, uh, pummeled him with fists of rage? It was about as funny as that facial expression he made when he missed his version of the bronco buster and crotched himself. He has a lot more personality than I originally thought.
4. Audible Groans
I was very impressed that Kane has added a lot of exasperated groans to his in ring persona. It really makes him a more believable lunatic/monster. I keep thinking Resident Evil the more I think about it, and that is exactly the type of vibe he should be seeking to give off. In all honesty, he has done about as good a job as anyone could have hoped for with his change in character, from the wardrobe to the in-ring work and skits backstage.
5. Forever And Always
CMON, BABY!
Still my favorite after all these years.
Bonus Feature: Five Observations From My Mother
This part of the column is designed to show you, the Internet fan, what a non-traditional part of the audience may be thinking while watching the show. My mother watches both shows every week and is totally untainted by the influence of the Internet. I think it is interesting for comparative purposes
1. My mom considers herself a full-fledged “Peepâ€Â
2. Gail Kim has no ass. And when she missed her butt splash from the top turnbuckle, my mom remarked, “that probably didn’t hurt her.â€Â
3. “Holy Shit†– upon seeing Shane’s drop.
4. Flair is the funniest guy on the show, always. Even over Bischoff
5. She still marks out for Goldberg, as she does for all ex-WCW wrestlers.
Keep the suggestions coming and I will see you next week.
