RAW News: Simon Dean’s Phone Number, Bischoff In Hot Water?, Kane’s Opponent

– Mike Bucci – also known as Super Nova and Nova in ECW and WWE developmental territory Ohio Valley Wrestling – debuted a new character by the name of Simon Dean tonight in a vignette on RAW, where he claimed that by calling (203) 352-1587, you can order his health products. This character is rumored to be named after Dean Malenko’s real name “Dean Simon.”

Here’s the transcript of what you hear when you call the number:

“Thanks for calling the Simon System. You’re making the first step in changing your fat, lazy lifestyle. The Simon System is a revolutionary, proprietary, homeopathic breakthrough, designed by me, Simon Dean. I’ve studied and researched the most efficient way to melt away the mountains of fat stored on your pathetic body. By ordering my product, your body will change on a molecular level. Now, as expected, my operators are very busy helping fat people just like you. While you’re waiting, let me tell you more about me. Well, I was born to help the people I refer to as the fat masses, like you. Later in life, I went on –“

The voicemail then beeps.

– WWE sources are telling 1wrestling.com that Eric Bischoff was in the doghouse for leaving the last PPV early because he thought he wasn’t on the show, and wasn’t told by agents and writers that he was going to be involved in sending Coach to the ring during the Triple H/Randy Orton match. By the time someone was able to reach him by cell phone he was two hours away driving to Seattle for RAW, and it seems – with his appearance on RAW – that things were apparently smoothed over tonight. [Credit: 1Wrestling.com]

– Gene Snisky, Kane’s opponent tonight, is a wrestler from the WXW promotion run by Afa the Wild Samoan. He was also their champion. [Credit: PWTorch.com]

– Following is the RAW preview from WWE.com:

As promised by Mr. McMahon, a ground-breaking announcement will be made that promises to shake the foundations of Monday Night RAW. What can it be? Find out Monday on RAW.

Also on the season premiere of RAW, either Christy or Carmella will walk away with $250,000 and a WWE contract. Be sure to tune in to Spike TV at 9/8 CT to find out which girl will become a Diva.

Last week, a returning Shelton Benjamin caught Evolution off guard. Will the RAW upstart make another appearance this week?

All this and more on Monday Night RAW.