It can’t be all that bad, I’m Flea….sorry. And I’m not apologizing for
myself, that’s for sure – go read this at www.1ryderfakin.com
– Flashbacks – Saturday Evening Post – then look for the date. Think that is
jumping through hoops? While you are there, click on the pic…and thank your
higher power that this report may be more readable (format, not content) than
whatever happens below. I did my part – Frank Format, c’mon, baby
Go buy Netcop’s Book. It’s good. I’ll tell you why later. I picked the shelves
clean, but that’s a fetish, not advice. Go get at least one copy. Or if you are
scared of leaving the house, order one. Or if you are too cheap to spring for
one…hey, just ask Flea. I’m the Jobber to The Stars.
C’mon letsgo
TOP STORY
To honor the general laziness that seems to be running rampant
("pulse" is actually an inside term – when ***** asked my opinion on
opening another site, I asked who was going to be featured and was given the
list of names – I said yup). But guess who will be stuck at the end of the
week, smiling and twisted, knowing the best gimmick is the one of dependability.
You now what the most valuable trait that any human can have? Motivation. Not
that it, alone, separates Man from Beast – the ultimate irony is having a conscious,
not using it, then having other people be able to verbally communicate what an
asshole you are. In the animal kingdom, you do see the occasional "shunned
(insert animal here), but that is usually due to a deformity (only the strong
survive – mankind could use more of that), or…the lower forms of life have
their own reasons – but you’ll never see a leopard hung in effigy. Or relegated
to the sidelines in abject ignominy for that matter.
What is great about the Human race is that we have the ability to make more
of ourselves and then rub it in everyone’s face. Sure, a squirrel may get more
nuts, but that dumb ass is only scrounging for the winter. If he was smart, he
would travel south, like the birds, for the winter. If the bird was smart, he
would not make his home in a place that is easily displaced…the only ones that
win are the buzzards. In the Human race they are known as Corporate America, or
at most levels, the buyers and sellers.
The Vice President of the United States, Dick Chaney, on the stump trail for
re-election, had this to say about making money:
Indicators measure the nation’s unemployment rate, consumer spending
and other economic milestones, but Vice President Dick Cheney says it misses
the hundreds of thousands who make money selling on eBay. “That’s a source
that didn’t even exist 10 years ago,†Cheney told an audience in Ohio.
“Four hundred thousand people make some money trading on eBay.â€Â
His opponent, at least at the Vice Presidential level, John Edwards,
countered with this:
“If we only included bake sales and how much money kids make at
lemonade stands, this economy would really be cooking.â€Â
It’s up to you to decide which one is right – that is why people are trying
to get you to vote. YOUR opinion matters, to a degree.
I’m mixed on this – Cheney is right and Edwards is a fool – of course, one
made their money from being a businessman (for ill or good) and the latter a
trial lawyer…did you know that Lawyers only exist to get a % of your dough for
you being too stupid and not worthy of justice? But both are after the same
thing….the Status of being better than you, because you are too lazy and UN-
motivated to do anything about it. What I don;t like about it is people are
starting to get wise re: Internet. THe bloggers have been found, it’s only a
matter of time before the IRS comes knocking. That’s a tough crowd, let me tell
you…
I may or may not expound on this later in this report – for sure next week, because
at the moment I have a plan for where this is going…and honestly, by the time
I get around to it, you won’t be in the mood to read it and I won’t be in the
mood to write it. But, the bottom line is – I have a very good friend who is
using motivation to his benefit and another…I can’t call him a friend, but I
am proud of him the same way I would be a (and am of my other) friend.
Motivation for a better purpose – and be damned the criticism. Both are smart
enough to know that criticism means "buy" – it’s just a matter
of how you use elitism to your benefit. Of course, the wild card is the King
makes them all look good…which is the ultimate pinnacle of higher
leaning…and separating Man from Beast…what do you say we just leave it at
that?
With that out of the way ….Flea gets lazy – cutting,, pasting and
commenting. Rich Woman’s lover and a formatters nightmare
JOEY STYLES (vs FLEA) – "THIS WEEK IN WRESTLING
FOR 9/17/04"
JOEY:
WWE RAW…TRIPLE H WINS BACK THE WWE WORLD TITLE FROM RANDY ORTON
As unpopular as my opinion on this subject is going to be with Internet
pro wrestling fans, here it comes. While it was a mistake taking the WWE World
Title from Chris Benoit so soon just to race into a HHH vs. Randy Orton feud,
WWE has now done the right thing by having HHH steal the title back from
Orton. Because they rushed into HHH vs. Orton in one night instead of slowly
building it, Randy Orton was not a sympathetic babyface or even a credible
champion with enough gravitas to carry the big gold belt. Orton did beat
Benoit cleanly to win the title but then needed Evolution to retain the belt
the following night on RAW. Therefore, it can be argued that Orton’s big win
was a fluke. Must like they did with Benoit, Orton will now slowly become a
huge babyface and credible champion by beating Flair, Batista, any other
established heels HHH uses as roadblocks and even HHH in tag team and
non-title matches. Like Benoit’s road to super stardom, this will lead up to a
clean championship victory over HHH at WrestleMania 21. Like it or not, HHH is
the most established and best heel champion in the industry and new champions
need to beat him for the belt to be "made men". Orton beating Benoit
means a fraction of what it will mean when he beats HHH. Keep your eye on
SmackDown as well. At some point in the next one to two years, John Cena will
beat Undertaker for the WWE Championship and that victory will cement John
Cena as a real World Champion more than a win over anyone else including Kurt
Angle. In the meantime, expect Angle to feud with Undertaker with Taker
ultimately winning because Angle’s neck is a ticking clock and Taker can keep
wrestling his style forever.
FLEA: After reading that, I feel much more comfortable. HHH is champ, for
reasons that are obvious, now it’s just a matter of following the roadmap listed
above and making the "Internet pro wrestling fans"
– will some tell Joey that it’s Internet Wrestling Community (IWC)?
Please. None of this is in vain
…the "Internet pro wrestling fans" miserable for the next
six months? I liked Benoit as champ – if only because he can have a good (maybe
great) match with anyone, and credibility is what the belt needs at this point.
HHH has stepped up the pace, but he is one misstep away from being on the shelf
for good, and you can never count out him "under performing" in a Main
Event. I still don’t buy into that he sandbags on purpose, I just think he
has more "motivation" (hey!) some nights than others…real quick on
Taboo Tuesday – I’m voting for the broomstick. If HHH can carry that guy, then
ok…if we have run ins from Flair and Batista, Mop and Dustpan, then it’s all
for naught anyway. I’m sure that’s an accurate analogy, because hopefully, if
nothing else, it translates how I feel about WWE and fan involvement. We
(meaning IWC – no matter how much you think) are not the target audience. We are
just the fallback (dependable…hey! again). Why haven’t you bought stock?
JOEY:
WWE SMACKDOWN…HEIDENREICH ABDUCTS MICHAEL COLE
It may have been strange and ambiguously homosexual but it was
interesting and original and that is what WWE needs.
FLEA: He must be pulling my leg. Actually, I have only read about his, as I
got bored 2 minutes into the Booker T v. Cena match and turned on French
Connection II.
JOEY:
TNA…FREE ADVICE FOR TNA FROM SOMEONE WHO IS IN THEIR DESIRED
DEMOGRAPHIC AND HAS SEEN THE RISE AND FALL OF ECWEvery wrestling reporter has opinion of how a wrestling company should
be run. So why is my advice any different or better. My argument would be that
I am a 33 year old male who would watch a good wrestling alternative to WWE
and I have juggled my marketing career with a career as a pro wrestling
performer/associate television producer/direct marketer and I saw exactly what
led to the rise and fall of ECW.
FLEA: I’m a 34 year old male, who gets really frustrated at the alternatives
for making the same mistakes that buried the aforementioned "rise and fall
of ECW", if not in booing, but in style. That’s why the gold is in the
archives and you, at this point, only have one source.
JOEY:
Now that I have presented my credentials for all to judge, here is some
free advice for TNA (which I would be happy to elaborate on privately if they
asked me to) because I genuinely want them to succeed:
FLEA: In my column, it’s Flea Advice, because no one takes free advice
anyway. But they damned sure complain when they have to "pay" to learn
something.
JOEY:
1.) Find another WWE or WCW Champion to win and lose the NWA Title
Jeff Jarrett is a credible champion if for no other reason than he held
the WCW title. TNA needs another former WCW or WWE Champion (Sting, Nash, DDP,
Scott Steiner, Goldberg, Austin, etc.) to sign a contract agreeing to beat
Jarrett and then within six months, convincingly drop the title to a TNA made
champion (Monty Brown, Raven, etc.). Pure wrestling fans can scream bloody
murder for A.J. Styles to get the belt again but it is a bad marketing move
and never should have happened the first time. A.J. Styles is barely 5′
7" tall and barely weighs 180lbs. He is truly phenomenal as a performer
but unless he uses the same "special supplements" that Chris Benoit
and Eddy Guerrero used to bulk up to a rock solid 220 lbs., he is not a
heavyweight and thus, should not be champion of the heavyweights. His holding
of the NWA Heavyweight Title made TNA look minor league when compared to WWE’s
World Champions, even JBL. Good or bad, WWE sets the standard for what major
league wrestlers look like and muscles sell more tickets and merchandise than
work rate. It is a sad truth of the industry and it will never change etc.
FLEA: Man, that is schizophrenic, which is right up my alley. Joey is dead on
about AJ Styles – not matter how you cut it, he is a midget. But where I
disagree is that NWA TNA’s only thing going for them in a "bear" (so
to speak) market, was to be different than the WWE (the alternative to it, so to
type). The benefit of having a champion like AJ Styles, same as my opinion as
Benoit as champ, is this: You know you will get a good match, no matter what.
Styles as champ was one of the few bright spots – AJ Styles put the X-Division
on the map and was pushed as "someone"… f*cking A. TNA the first
year was such a mess than the only things that *did* stand out is the missed
opportunities with the Title Belt. They blew it with Raven, blew it with Styles,
wasted it on Hardy and continue to go with Jarrett. I don’t like Joey’s idea a
little – but he may be right. If Steiner came in and just kicked the shit out of
everyone, it would be great. JJ (as proven) could carry him…Styles would bump
like a pinball….Raven would be gold (his incoherent promos vs. Poppa Booty
Daddy Pump’s – I AM THERE) That match would be good, because Raven would make it
that way. Big Pump Booty v. Monty Brown would be another fun promo fest, but the
match would be like water torture. The industry could change – certain
people just need to have the balls to do it – Gordon and Paul E. did.
JOEY:
2.) Have somebody under 35 years old who is from New York or Los Angeles
book with Dutch Mantell and Jeff Jarrett and I don’t me either because I am
not "cool" enough for the job.
FLEA: whatever
JOEY:
Southern wrestling deserves to be relegated to WWE nostalgia footage in
today’s American pro wrestling industry. TNA needs to be young, cool, fast,
loud and edgy or it comes off as a poor copy of WWE.
FLEA: That’s where Joey is missing the boat. There is a HUGE audience for
"Southern Wrestling". I would have gave up on all of this, as I didn’t
see a good match in WCW for years (exception Rey, Eddy, Benoit) once the NWO
angle started and never liked the cartoon aspect of WWF…come on – 85?
Flair was a genius while Hogan…I love this line, from 1989, right after the
final in the trilogy of Flair / Steamboat…
Flair: responding to an interrupting, congratulatory and eventually belligerent
Terry Funk:
While you were out in Hollywood, rubbing shoulders with Sylvester
Stallone, I was busy being the World Champion
Same goes for Hogan. There are a ton of folks that love(d) the slow pace
of "don’t like what I’m doing, shut me up" and then have a great
match type of wrestling, instead…well, I’ll just say that it took me about 2
years to get into being at the ECW arena, wondering why none of it made sense,
but damned if the fans and tables ain’t getting over.
JOEY:
The exact opposite of cutting edge is a WWE-inspired half-assed racial
stereotype. Years ago, I told Simon Diamond he needed a more serious character
like "Fighting Irish" Pat Kenney. A wholesome, educated, morally
sound "good guy" who could still be hardcore. Instead, a few
southerners come up with an Irish character that included jig dancing,
leprechauns, Lucky Charms cereal, Irish Spring soap and lots of miscellaneous
green stuff. How do you think those same southerners would feel about a WWE
redneck wrestler with no teeth and no shoes having sex with his own sister and
pigs? The most successful wrestling characters are the wrestlers real life
persona’s exaggerated.
FLEA: Another one I will have to bypass, for reasons of brevity. I’m as
bummed at Simon Diamond’s new "character " as he is, but Simon’s ECW
gimmick was gold. THAT is his natural personality, not some Irish guy fighting
his way out if the Sixth Street Gutter. And the biggest redneck in the world was
the greatest gimmick ever…by the way – between Austin and Cactus, I got
carried as a fan from 1995-2000
JOEY:
Even Joey Styles was just Joe Bonsignore exaggerated. I’ll readily admit
to not being cool but blushing at every sexual reference and claiming to watch
CSPAN but not MTV was done to make me a more entertaining television
character. Making me a "goombah" would not have worked because while
I am an Italian-American, I am third generation born in this country and the
character would have been forced and transparent.
FLEA: Not to be so obviously contradictory, but Joey called Day One to Day
Done of the Full Blooded Italians gimmick – if memory serves me correctly, Tommy
Rich and JT Smith ain’t paisano. Hell, I’m Italian/ German, but you don’t
see me eating and bitching about Jews, do you? Well, I should, as a disclaimer,
mention that I am half Irish: drunk. And you can’t make Announcers "characters"
anyway…lest you end up with JR and Lawler every
Monday
JOEY:
3.) Drop the dead weight!
You know who they are. Friends or not, there are some people drawing a
check from TNA who are not bringing revenue back into the company coffers.
That is bad business. With only one hour of weekly TV and one monthly
pay-per-view, quality of talent is much more important than quantity of
talent.
FLEA: Agreed. But TNA doesn’t know who the "dead weight" is. In my
opinion it’s Dusty and Russo. Other may think Hardy and Disco. Neither is wrong,
so long as they are utilized (or dumped) right. What kills TNA is their need
(and the necessary action that Joey mentions above) to bring in stiffs for one
or two shot deals instead of cultivating their own. I remember Luger not selling
for Styles, but will TNA when they need a "pop"? Nope. They never
learn – which is why I quit watching until BOSS talked me into re-capping the
PPV. It gets good, real good, sometimes, but they manage to f*ck it up – thank
GOD they are off they air. Weekly PPVs and me having to pay, anyway
JOEY:
In short, TNA is run by smart and savvy people who are very capable of
building TNA into a profitable company and it my sincerest hope that they do
so.
FLEA: they are not. As long as Russo is involved, stick them with a fork,
they’re done. Not to be smart, but Dixie Carter just had a baby…I’ll tell you
what that means next week. The fact that they tape their shows 20 minutes
from my current house, but are not available on my TV should say something. But
it hasn’t.
JOEY:
Joey Styles
FLEA: And I’m sure it wouldn’t interest anybody…Outside of a
Small Circle of Friends.
Let’s just do one of these and move on…grazi
HEADLINES
Best thing going on right now is Golf – it’s Ryder Cup time! I normally
refrain from typing about Golf…because I could go on forever. Let’s just say,
if you want a change of pace for the weekend, grab a few drinks of your choice,
plenty of food, whatever else and just zone out. You would be surprised how fun
the Game of Golf is to watch, especially under the best of the best of
circumstances, an US v. THEM format…on our turf. With Johnny Miller
commentating. Some of the best TV you will ever see, providing you have your
mind right. And you always should.
I plan to follow-up with this next weekend, if you don’t mind. As of this
writing…the U.S. is getting their asses kicked. I will say this: I spoke with
Eric S, briefly, but very early this morning; with both of us coming to the
conclusion (albeit separately) that 1) I have no business talking politics at
that time of morning is our respective states – I know where he stands and he
know where I stands, Popeye…and oddly enough we agree on most, just the end
result is WAY f*cking different. And 2) He was gritting his teeth and popping
multiple pills at the sound of my voice – that means I’m still alive after
two hurricanes…which means part of "mine ain’t his"…bummer. Puts a
kink in the Exodus…and you know it’s happening, pal. I’m just bummed we didn’t
get a replay of the ’68 Convention from either side – I blame that on no one
named Daley being around to make it mean. At least not in a position to do
anything, anyway.
But we did agree on one thing – Tiger and Phil would be interesting and
damned if it wasn’t. They got smoked. I was wrong saying Tiger would be the one
to drive into Baker-Finch land (ended up being Phil – blame Callaway)…but I
think I was right about the main point – they drew their best guns on The
Europeans, at the crack of dawn…and that prick Langer (choker, but now in a
position to get the ultimate revenge) counters with Monty – who knocked their
dicks in the dirt, on the holes where Tiger and Phil weren’t stepping on them.
36 holes and America’s (and Wall Street’s) Dream Team have nothing to show for
it but misery and the gut feeling that punching the other one in the face would
not be a bad idea.
Hal Sutton: We are going to have to putt better…Phil didn’t play very
well
More next week – I’m going to want to use sound bites, and I need ESPN to
transcribe
FRIDAY 6:11PM – First Day Results: If this was a prize fight, they would have
stopped it
Costas says nothing of note…Johnny Miller is sharpening his tongue and sleeping
with one eye open. Flea Advice: watch the Ryder Cup this weekend. Have some fun.
It’s not everyday you see millionaires have a nervous breakdown.
ROLL THE DICE
Mike Johnson from pwinsider…com has been doing the best columns of anyone
for the past 6 months. Recently, he has written several reviews (a preview) of
Jerry Jarrett’s new book – an online cornucopia of The Real Double J: Spilling
his Guts, burning bridges and damn, that’s just how it ought ta be
mentality…which is a very good read. I bought that book the same day as I
bought the one that will be named next week, and…it’s all over the place.
Heyman write on napkins, sez Tod Gordon – but Jarrett was paid to write. I
guess. The only thing I know is that the cover of the book…
No further comment
PAGE SIX
I’m not sweating a hurricane this week and am just trying to make up
for…nah…and live the gimmick. Motivation, boys, Chop Chop. I could do this
five days a week, if needed. Or wanted? Keep sleeping, Sweet Prince. There are
only two people that ever made it by being asleep at the wheel – Rip Van Winkle
and Donald Trump. Neither of whom could pay me in anything but Cash Money
Also – Jesus Christ. But we can’t damn well talk about him on a Jewish
Holiday, can we?
Thanks for reading
FLEA – ryderfakin@ayhoo.com
