'BB5' Final Two: It's True Love

Zap2It posted the following article with regard to the Big Brother finale on Tuesday:

Friday (Sept. 17) night marks the moment many of us true fans have been waiting for all season, a crucial showdown with all of the marbles on the line. Unfortunately, there’s also a gratuitous bonus episode of “Big Brother 5” on, so I can’t watch the Red Sox and Yankees on ESPN.
For the third consecutive episode, Julie Chen has her shoulders covered, though with her shiny orange shirt and neck scarf, it looks like she has other places to go after filming tonight.

If you’ll recall, when we last left Diane, Cowboy and Drew, they were standing on a shaking platform clutching keys for their very salvation. Regardless of what we’ve been promised, this isn’t live at all. In fact, anybody with a live feed knew the result of this part of the competition three days ago.

Cowboy claims that the jackhammer motion reminds him of riding bulls, the shaking soon stops, giving the man formerly known as Michael the chance to convey his regrets for sending his sister Nakomis (formerly known as Jennifer) out to pasture on Tuesday.
Diane needs to put her hair up and Cowboy volunteers, unasked, to help her. In the process of scrunchy maintenance, he takes his hands off the key. I’m not sure if any competitor has ever had a stupider reason for losing a competition in the history of reality television. Drew says he wants to throw the game for Diane, but he doesn’t want to do it with Cowboy watching, so they have to stand together as the shaking begins again. Finally Diane falls off her roost. Drew assumes that Diane took a dive, but he’ll take the win.

Cowboy believes that he and Drew have a pact to go to the end. Diane believes that she and Drew have a similar deal. Somebody’s going to feel betrayed.

Round Two of the Head of Household competition pits Diane against Cowboy in a game revolving around two strands of DNA and memory of earlier events in the season. I don’t understand the rules, so it’s time to check up on my Red Sox. The Yankees seem to be winning 2-1, which annoys me almost as much as the idea of any of these three “Big Brother” players winning a half-million dollars.

Cowboy wins. Diane cries. Cowboy jumps into Drew’s arms and wraps his legs around the Pretty Boy’s body. They agree that they love each other. No, that’s really what happens. After all of the Internet scuttlebutt that Jase and Scott had found love in the “Big Brother” house, who would have guessed that it would be the other two Horseplops who would end the season with limbs intertwined?

Julie polls the remaining contestants on which departed shut-ins they miss and who they dread seeing in the outside world. Drew wants to see Scott Not-So-Long again and he thinks Marvin and Karen may have reasons to dislike him. Diane is lost without Will, but doesn’t seem eager for further contact with Holly. Cowboy misses everybody and dreads nobody. If this game had a prize for spinelessness, I know who would win.

The entire article can be read here.

Credit: Daniel Fienberg, Zap2it

Join our newsletter

never miss the latest news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary for Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games!