Yea yea Blatt…you’ve got the Inside Pulse Fantasy lead for now. Be careful though, this freight train is roaring your way. As for those of you who wrote back to me about the MSG Rant, thanks for making me feel comfortable about writing that. However, this is the best response I got:
Hey Dan, I remember being at Raw in Edmonton, the night after “Canadian Stampede”. Bret Hart was wearing his Edmonton Oiler jersey while being interviewed by VKM. My goddamned sign–>which was a delightful play on Mankind’s “Pick me Steve” tag-team angle (with my sign saying “Pick ME Steve” and one finger up a nostril, God that was goooood)is in the background. Danny Boy, it took alot of ‘hands-eyes’ co-ordination to get that sign on TV just behind Bret Hart, and the hard work paid off in spades. That scene made in on “Wrestling With Shadows”(therefore on A&E), and on the Summerslam ’97 video. Having my carefully crafted sign on TV propelled me from a state of loserdom me into a province of popularity…So you know what, Go straight to hell Dan. The night of July 7th, 1997 transformed me forever. I am now confident of my own abilities, and that ever-so-brief moment of glory has given me solace in a way you “non-sign getting on TV” guys will never, EVER, understand!”…I can relate to you in a way however, as about a month later I was watching a spot show in S’toon, some dumb kid and his equally dumb father were holding up signs in front of ME…Having experienced the dizzying heights of fame earlier with my own sign, I decided that these idiots hadn’t paid their dues like I did. I politely took the kid’s sign (One which supported the f’ing PATRIOT of all things, in CANADA…The moosesucking hoser!) and tossed it aside. The father looked at me stating, “Hey, little Jimmy likes the Patriot!”. So I say to the guy, “Well hey, there’s no goddamned TV cameras here, so what’s with the f’ing sign???”…So Dan, to make a long story somewhat shorter, quit your bitching about people signs->it is perhapes the only 15 minutes of fame we “normies” will ever get. Not all of us are internet writes, you know…
I laughed and almost shed a tear while reading that. It proves two things: 1. People really care more about signs than the show, which could be a good or bad thing depending on the booking. 2. I’m better than someone because I write for Inside Pulse. YEA BABY! Pick me a winner next time Wayne or just have Garth do it.
On with the show…
-Evolution comes out and announces Randy Orton is barred from the building. Y2J comes out and talks. Batista attacks. Benoit and Edge make the save.
-HBK def. Captain Charisma
-Lita is pissed at Snitsky.
-Snitsky comes out with a baby carriage. Kane comes after him. Snitsky beats Kane’s ass with a pipe.
-Batista def. Chris Benoit via DQ when THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION Randy Orton runs in.
-GM Eric tries to use Carmella to seduce Eugene into shaving his head and throwing the match at Taboo Tuesday. Carmella just can’t do it. CHRISTY! (She received Smackdown’s exclamation because she rules) comes out and kisses Eugene. We’ve got a couple.
-La Resistance def. Hurricane and Rosey
-GM Eric makes Lumberjacks for HHH vs. Y2J
-“DAMN THOSE LEGS!” def. Molly
-HHH def. Y2J after Rhyno goared Y2J
-Big brawl and THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION Randy Orton runs in and demolishes everyone with the RKO.
The Raw Membrane
-Flair saying he makes Virgins bleed should be looked at for pedophilia.
-Snitsky’s use of a pipe is assault with a deadly weapon.
-Randy Orton violated the Calvin Klein laws.
-GM Eric using Carmella to get to Eugene could be considered fixing a match.
-Trish’s run-in violated the Calvin Klein laws.
-Rhyno violated THE CALVIN KLEIN LAWS!
-THE PEOPLE’S CHAMION RANDY ORTON VIOLATED THE F***ING CALVIN KLEIN LAWS!
-What is this? So many run ins, so little time?
-Wow, after watching this at home, the kids sign that ruined my night was all over the tube. JACKASS!
-Flair saying he made virgins bleed made me laugh like crazy. It then made all the people in my section look at me like I was cleaning blood off my clown suit.
-HBK vs. Christian was pretty good. I had a perfect picture of HBK on the ramp when he kneels to say hi to God but it got messed up…BY THE SIGN KID.
-Lita’s acting was Xtreme.
-Snitsky coming out with a baby carriage was great. Now if he had come out with a baby in it and Flair was talking about making virgins bleed I’d be wierded out.
-Randy Orton = THE PEOPLE’S CHAMION. The man is over. I understand using him against Flair because you don’t want him to fizzle. I’d just like to see him against HHH.
-Carmella looked damn good…Christy! looked better. One more time because it’s fun…Christy!
-La Resistance vs. The Superheroes was like watching lobsters in a kung-fu movie.
-Why is Shelton Benjamin being ruined?
-Stacy = hot. Molly = Bob Holly’s cousin/sister
–That was a really generic lumberjack match. The lumberjacks did more work than HHH and Y2J.
-Randy Orton is the man. I just wish the show would’ve been focused around him in a bar. Vince asking for “THE OLD RANDY ORTON!” Randy breaking a pool cue and going apeshit on everyone. I popped like a little boy when that happened with Austin during the Invasion. I would’ve popped like a teenage boy for Orton.
Like I said, I’ve been working Thursday nights. So basically Smackdown is out of the picture. But weekly I will check the results and give you:
THOUGHTS ON A MISSED SHOW
-Cena used to be cool with me. NOT NOW. 2 reasons:
1. Killed my fantasy team
2. Wore a Red Sox jersey
-You’re telling me the one week I don’t pick Carlito he debuts and wins a title? CMON!
-Kenzo Suzuki is one of my favorites. He’s just funny
-Holy push Batman! Is that Bob “Spark Plug” Holly moving up the card again? Persistence pays off children.
-How in the world did Kidman come out of this as the heel? I bet you the higher ups are asking the same thing.
-Is Booker T turning face? WAIT…WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THIS SHOW?
-That’s it…not even a capital letter for it anymore…Smackdown is now smackdown.
-Heidenreich beat up fans? So they took Eddie Guerrero’s real life problem and gave it to Heidenreich for an angle? I like that though, because he could be a fan terrorizer and then he’ll meet me. I’m throwing down the gauntlet. If Heidenreich wants to bring his ugly ass to section 68 I’ll show him just how pissed I was about Little Johnny. Bitch.
-Jennette liked it but it didn’t sound to great. But Jennette rules so I’ll go with a thumb up. Still no capitals for smackdown from now on. When I run out of letters I’ll stop writing about it.
Some news thoughts:
-Congratulations to the WWE for their award from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We all know what these men and women go through yearly and taking the time out to grant wishes has to be taxing. That’s the one thing about WWE, no matter what happens or how they’re derived, they always give. Stacy looked ever so elegant in picking up the award as well. So congratulations to WWE and it’s superstars for doing what you can for these kids.
If anyone wants to see the video I think it’s still over at WWE.com
-No matter how many times I go to live shows, that Lonely Road of Faith video gets to me. What a great video.
-Steve Austin filed a $125 million lawsuit against his ex-girlfriend. OH HELL YEAH! It’s about time guys started fighting back against women that want to rape us of our dignity and then take our money. Good job Steve!
-Blatt came back to take the fantasy lead. However, I’m starting to think this thing is fixed. Why did so many people take BOTH Rob Conway and Sylvain Grenier this week? It just doesn’t make sense. I think I’ve been setup by the man. I will still make Blatt cry at some point. Triple C killed me with that US Title win though. BOTH weeks I had him on my team. Now what? I take him off and he wins the damn US Title. BULLOCKS! I can still throw Blatt off though…HEY BLATT! Your girlfriend is cheating on you! Here’s proof:
-No Mercy will be crucified when I get it from Netflix. Sorry but I can’t pay all that money every month.
Now it’s reader participation time! Here is your homework: Email me and tell me who you want to see interviewed from WWE. Just name them and I’ll announce the winner next week.
Adios for now. Don’t forget to check out Rolling The Dice at some point this weekend. Our fantasy picks become your worst nightmares!