New Kids On The Blech: The Surreal Life Episode 6 Review

The Surreal Life- Sundays at 10:00 P.M. on VH-1

Episode 6- “Making the Single”

Wakey wakey! Everyone’s back home and getting up out of bed. We kick things off with Flav and Brigitte talking to each other. Flav says he’s hungry and tells Brigitte “if you was an egg I’d eat you”. What a great pick-up line

Dave picks up the Surreal Times, which brings us to event time!! This week the housemates have to record a single in less than a day with Jordan as the producer. Are you sure he’s the right guy? He hasn’t produced a hit in yeeeaaaaaaars.

Charo starts strumming on the guitar while Brigitte sings some Danish gibberish. And here I thought Bjork was esoteric.

Flav talks to Momma Flav on the phone and says his (expletive) is hard for a hit.

Jordan starts working over the song. Ryan starts to write some crappy lyrics. Those are her words and mine.

Charo starts speaking in Spanish but a banner is running across the bottom of the screen so I can’t read it. Damn those things really piss me off.

Ryan’s pissed because no one fits into a song Jordan’s worked on except Jordan and Flav.

Flav starts drumming which I’m sure he’ll be doing, even while we go to commercial.

First Commercial Break

Flav is one the phone with some ho named Antisa who he wants to do his hair.

The housemates head out to Conway studios to record the song. Is it named after Gerry Conway, the guy who killed off Gwen Stacy? I only wish.

John Morrical-Blink 182 and The Foo Fighters is the engineer who is going to help them out. Rock!!

Antisa heads into the studio which pisses off Dave, since the group only has twelve hours to make the single.

Ryan’s still whining and being useless and doesn’t want to work with Jordan. Jordan punches her in the face. Well no, but I can dream.

Brigitte calls Flav a wimp for yelling ouch while Antisa is prepping his hair.

Jordan tries to instruct Charo on how to play the guitar the way he wants her to, but gripes in the confessional that she’s too well trained for him.

Brigitte tells Flav she doesn’t want him to have his gold teeth and clock anymore. Flav says he’ll do it if she marries him. Is Flavitte reunited?

Charo starts jamming out on the guitar, providing a neat intro. Flav starts humming to her.

Antisa starts working on Brigitte’s hair and she starts too feel pain too. REASON# 103453 Not to go to a stylist.

Charo is pissed. They are destroying her music! No ma gusta!! We’ll see what happens in a few.

Second commercial break

Flav is in the house!! He starts rapping.

Ryan hates that two people are running the show. I feel the same way.

Dave doesn’t think things are working out.

The engineer says if they do make a single, It’ll only be a hit in Germany

Ryan doesn’t like that the song is R&B and thinks she’s selling out.

Lou Perlman, the Harvey Weinstein of boy bands comes into the studio to give it a listen and to lend advice. He tells Ryan that she can add some rock edge to the show.

Ryan starts singing. She’s as much an earache as an eyesore.

She doesn’t like that the song is too poppy. Wasn’t it R&B a minute ago

Ryan says she’s having the worst day she’s had on the show.

Jordan’s acting like a bigger ass than usual.

Ryan starts crying. “This is like American Idol all over again”. Yeah well you lost there and your going to lose the argument here.

Chaos is at an all time high and we get the ever dreaded “To be continued”. Noooo!!! I was so involved!! Must stay on edge of seat till next week.

Thoughts- Well the Flav antics were toned down a little bit but not much, however they did focus more time on Ryan and Jordan. Ryan is absolute garbage and should die on my T.V. screen. I can see disagreeing with the group, but to cry about it? Yeesh. Do the challenge and shut up you stupid little bitch. Don’t act like you’re a credible artist because you lost and didn’t even get a single and should be lucky you get an extra minute of pseudo-fame on this show.
Also, this is the second music based episode in less than a month. I thought “Battle of the Bands” was a little better due to the charming kids.
And Charo and Dave were relegated to the backseat as usual. What else is new.