Saturday Evening Post

Archive

Speaking of going wrong…nah – you’ll
like what is below….it’s going to take a little patience, Axl, but it’s Part I
of this is most likely the the heaviest thing I have written online. I called
Eric S. and Hyatte last night to let the know it’s not anything personal and
certainly not anything I wouldn’t say to their faces anyway….both called me a
cocksucker. Wait – that’s not true – Eric and I always get along, it’s that
Hi-Rate fella that’s always causing trouble. Hawr! So, hope you enjoy. Below is
Part I. Part II will be on Monday, maybe at Inside Pulse under "The Monday
Edition"…most likely here at 1ryderfakin.com.
Link is right back there, Ned Navigate…

Other than that – wow – hope you like
the below. If not, fangol. I haven’t *really* made my point yet, that’s in Part
II. Well, it will be when I get around to writing Part II. Oddly enough, I
had…nah, save it Fleabag. 

And HEY! Guess who figured out the
"profile" and  "comments on this article" thing that at
the bottom of the page? Flea rules! Hey Hey YA! Feedback is always welcome, and
Daniels is a genius (atnotspellingthisoutformebefore)…but all is good. I’m
very proud of both Widro and Daniels for all their work. Too bad I’m married.

Go back to last week for the
contest…everything is back to normal next week…

Come on, Let’s GO!!!!!!!!

TOP STORY

Let’s start with a flashback…from Halloween time, last year – 

Also on RAW, there seems to be a
little romance in the air as Christian appears to be seriously considering
getting all up in Lita’s area, while Some Other Guy is making Mrs. Trish
Hyatte’s toes curl…

Ryder Fakin: So tell me,
Hi-Rate…you think its a coincidence that Trish now has a boyfriend on TV
named Chris? A secret crush played out in front of millions? You think she is
cruel enough to say "OH CHRIS I LOVE YOU" on National television,
knowing what it’s doing to you? Subconscious maybe? hmmmm….she’s all yours! 

Auto response from Hyatte1com:
(deleted for reasons that I ain’t even touching)…blahr blahr blahr

 – Saturday Evening Post 10.25.03, 1ryderfakin.com

Nope – things ain’t changed in a year. Surfing the net for wrestling news,
people are still bitching  about HHH and his abuse of power (no…not him.
Taking control of the company? Can’t be!) …TNA is still trying to pull their
heads out of their ass by brining in big names and booking Jeff Jarrett as the
end all and be all of "over"…Feinstein is still in
exile…Wrestling, in general is still "on the decline" (depending on
who you believe). All I know is I have had two dividends paid by Vince and WWE is
still making money hand over fist, exactly as I predicted, as huge financial
gains have been made from 1) overseas business and 2) DVD compilations that are
only going to make MORE money for WWE (and me) when the "mainstream"
gets hooked on wrestling again. Would you like me, Flea, the all-knowing about
how these things work, to predict a date for the next "Wrestling Boom"?
Can’t give you an exact date, but I betcha by this time next Halloween,
business…strike that…business is great. The Next Big Wrestling Phenomenon
will be here by the time I type you a Halloween Saturday Evening Post in 2K5. Nostrodomus
had homebrew and homegrown – but he didn’t have Crown Royal, and I
have a stash in my closet I stay high just thinking about – besides, he died
broke…I’m just going to fade away and leave it all to Hyatte.

But wrestling’s not what I’m here to talk about this week…

I’m here to talk about America

PAGE SIX

Next Tuesday will be the time that America, the greatest country in the
history of the world elects it’s leader…called by title as President, or
"Leader of the Free World".  But, what that really boils down to
is "de facto Leader of the Universe", because as America goes, so goes
the rest of the planet, and all else that is out there – seeing as no other intelligent
life has be discovered, that spells de facto Leader, anyway you look
at it. Right now, the smart betters have it a 50-50 "popular opinion"
crapshoot, which is about right – for reasons that will be explained later. Have
you made you choice? If not, you have about 100 hours to decide – the future of
America allegedly depends upon yout vote…but that’s not exactly how our
forefathers designed this whole "democracy" plan. There was always
room for a "ways out", because even in 1775/6, the brilliance of
forefather foresight put together to documents that have stood the test of time
and…well one of them. "Constitutional Amendments" was one of the
way’s "out" as progressive thinkers like Jefferson, Washington,
Franklin, et al. came to the conclusion that for a "true democracy" to
work, the country would need room to grow, legislatively, but with the proper
"checks and balances" in place. The other "out" was the
creation of the "Electoral College". This was created to not
necessarily to prevent the "ignorant unwashed masses" from, due to the
lack of immediate information at that time (oh boy, do I have something to type
about that…later) casting a non-educated vote, but to keep a bought and paid
for, or in essence a King from being "elected". People in this
country, due to newfound freedoms, had no problem at all with George Washington
becoming King George W America the First…but that’s not how they wanted it to
work. Unfortunately, the original concept and design fell prey to the miscreants
of the time, which begat design of the "12th Amendment"…this
is getting heavy…time for a break 

in a wrestling note – The Bill of Rights was the first Ten Amendments,
hopefully we all know that… Number 11 is the one that kept Cactus from getting
his ear put back on to the tune of  $100 million dollars of Ted Turner’s
money…okay. Let’s continue

The point of the above is pretty much Political Science 101 and something
that every American should not cakewalk through – lest they fail to realize how
far ahead the original concept of America was planned. The whole premise of this
country was founded upon having the freedom to do what you choose, unless forces
that take advantage of the ones that do not take the time to know seize power
and turn the country into a miserable haven for  the rich and powerful that
have no problem at all trampling over said WRITTEN freedoms, because their
mindset, sometimes by birth, but in most cases EARNED, go by the principles –
"When you know, then you will KNOW"…and get with the program or else
be left behind as one of the "have nots" instead if the
"haves". That is the way this country was designed originally, but
many people to that to the extreme and the ones that got left behind were
eventually bailed out by something that resembles nothing even close to the
principles upon this country was founded.

We didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, my brothers and sisters – Plymouth Rock
landed on us!" 

 – Malcolm X

Talk about a black eye. America’s curse was the importing of the Men, Women
and Children of Africa, Europe and South America. Damn…this is a touchy
subject, which shows me not necessarily how wrong it was (explained later also) but it amazes me to no end
how the country is still so racially divided, when…here is an example – My
Father served in the Air Force with a Black Man, who, during their tours…let’s
just say they became friends and brothers for life, cause neither one of them
care to talk about the mayhem…right. What I’m typing about is once they got
over the initial shock of coming home, being spat upon and called (my father)
"nigger loving baby killer" and…heh – his son will be reading this,
so I’ll call his old man "Catfish" (now you know where that came from,
hawr)…and he was called…wow….let’s just say that the Black Power in those
days were much more vicious to their fellow man that any white trash racist. The
only thing that either one of them talk about re: that time period was every
time someone said "nigger" or "baby killer" (which only happened
once, but happened many different times once) they would stomp some hippie /
panther heads and give an extra kick or punch for Good Ol’ Mama USA, only
because these punks deserved it and asked for it. Only badasses when provoked,
which must have happened many times back then. I grew up in bars with the both
of them and only once saw them raise their hands in anger. That time was
justified – cause someone called "Catfish" ‘s wife a "nigger
lover". He laughed and said "No Shit…you blind? She’s black…and
I’m a NIGGER!"…then my Mom knocked that f*cker of the barstool….then
all hell broke loose. Bow howdy – I was 17 and vowed never to be seen in public
with any of them again. But, we are all older, Catfish is dead, his wife hates
me, his son is still one of my best friends but a total menace to society and
sometimes I think about "what went wrong", but then I realize my life is
just fine…

What I can’t understand is how the Black people in this country (I was
originally going to do a whole "minority" thing, but the Hispanics,
Orientals, etc have realized that business is business and not fallen
prey)…let’s start this again and speak specifically about the
"African- Americans"

Sorry…I just can’t type that term in good conscience. I was raised with the
above mentioned family of "Catfish" and there whole scene when I was
growing up (at least from their point of view) was "Black is
Beautiful". Hey whatever works – I was always jealous of their son’s…and
I will call him by name, just to have some fun…Sheldon’s BIG ASS AFRO growing
up, and still wouldn’t mind having one today. Thankfully they are all they rage,
but Sheldon’s bald as Austin and although my hairline is pretty much the same as
when I was 17…the shit ain’t growing in those terms. How did I get on
this…oh yeah – it will matter later, I think. Yeah it will…

The Blacks in this country were making progress socially and financially in
the Sixties as two of the greatest men ever to reach the public stage of
influence, Martin Luther King Jr. and Muhammad Ali were at the forefront of a
revolution. MLK preached a non-violent solution, while Ali, after beating Sonny
Liston, changed his name from "Cassius Clay" to Ali giving a big black
middle finger to White America and then proceeded to PROVE he was the Greatest
of All Time…

I am America. I am the part you won’t recognize. But get
used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not
yours; my goals, my own; get used to me.

 – Ali

When you can whip any man in the world, you never know
peace.

 – Ali

Before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth, we were here.
Before the pen of Jefferson etched across the pages of history the majestic
words of the Declaration of Independence, we were here. If the inexpressible
cruelties of slavery could not stop us, the opposition we now face will surely
fail.

– MLK

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it
must be demanded by the oppressed.

– MLK

A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.

– MLK

And America killed them both dead…Ali was used as an example by the
American Government to show that the Vietnam War was right, and MLK was shot
dead, in a cruel fashion by a "racist nut" by the name of James Earl
Ray. Ali was killed by being robbed of his "prime", but managed to overcome the adversity by
later using
his fists to pummel two of the baddest motherf*ckers I have ever seen enter
boxing ring – Joe Frazier and George Foreman – and eventually becoming one of
the most beloved men of our time…because he refused to fight when he knew it
was wrong.      

I ain’t got no quarrel with them Viet Cong

 – Ali

They told stories that, at times, they had personally raped, cut off ears,
cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and
turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at
civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle
and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside
of South Vietnam, in addition to the normal ravage of war and the normal and
very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this
country.

– Decorated veteran John Kerry,
testifying before the House Foreign Relations Committee, questions the War in
Vietnam, Washington, D.C., April 22, 1971.

Martin Luther King Jr. died in vain for a country he wanted to change – not
because a braggadocios boxer felt the same way, and certainly not because of the
fact if he was one of the soldiers mentioned John Kerry’s anti-war testimony, he
would have been branded a "Uncle Tom". The tone of this country changed quite a bit after Kerry’s
testimony, and the failed dreams of a revolution hit many of the idealistic square
in the face harder than Ali ever could have dreamed

Why do the Black people in this country still vote Democrat? Lyndon Johnson
was one of the most vile, racist Good Ole Boys to ever make a law…his
"Great Society" has, 35 +  years later, enslaved more Blacks than
our forefathers ever could have, when slavery was an acceptable
practice…requiring an Amendment, a four year Civil War, the most American War Casualties
(both Black and White) in the history of America and the death of a President to solve.
Oddly enough, Black American Culture has been ripped off and profiteered by every
White Man that knows how to make a buck – and the most financially successful
Black Men of our American Century were smart enough to figure that out – Quincy
Jones, Robert Johnson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan…they are no "Uncle
Toms"…but simply geniuses of the Modern Age. I would be remiss to mention
Oprah Winfrey, but she only goes "black" when the cause serves…which
is where I think this whole think went wrong

"Black is Beautiful"…that was like a mantra to me in a Southern
Cracker Town. My Parents and  Sheldon’s parents (you remember them, right?
scroll back, scroll back, scroll back, hawr) took there Military Retirement
Funds and bought some land, built a house and got around to living the American
Dream. Working for a living, post military, and sending their kids to school…I’ll
be damned if I wasn’t called a "nigger lover" and Sheldon a
"nigger" from our first days to our last days…we fought a lot with
others, with him eventually using his anger towards Sports – the kid was a 4
Star Letterman (and f*cked a ton of white chicks…he got his first one before I
got my mine…but I made up for it, because…heh – I’m Italian and…ha ha ha
ha….let’s just say I embarrassed him in front of the "sistas" who
wanted to try the white meat. "Say What? – yo sure you
ain’t?"…damn…if he wasn’t so twisted on drugs that fry your brain at this
point, he would love reading this…but…America! That’s why we are here)

Almost 20 years later, "Catfish is dead", Mom and Dad are old,
Sheldon never got his mind right and I took full advantage of the American
Dream. Nearly killed myself doing it, but didn’t only because I found a sexy
motivated chick who didn’t mind being a good hearted woman in love with a good
timin’ man, and I managed to get mine and live though the bad times…to the
point where I’m bulletproof these days, not even caring that the Country I
love is falling apart…I’ve Got Mine! Do You?

And if you don’t – that would explain why this country is in the shape it’s
in. "The Rich Get Richer and The Poor Get Poorer" is a common saying
by those that haven’t figured out the Score. Nothing pisses me off more than
people that are not motivated – "the Man on The Street"….always
bitching, but perfectly complacent with his lot in life. That is failure…something
I can’t comprehend, no matter how hard I try….I have just come to the
conclusion it’s not worth it to try and change people in that mindset; I just
deal with them on my terms. Making money / making something of yourself  is
such a given to me anymore, I get very mean and rude to people in my life that
can’t see it – wallowing in their own self pity, wondering why they
"can’t", when all it takes is putting your mind and self to work for a
few years and then getting out while the getting is good. I tell this to my
friends all the time…

I just realized I’m probably pissing some people off – to which I say
"Try Harder". I did. That’s why I am where I am at in life – earned,
not given. I’ve said it before, I think, but…

I’m getting mean…how about some Jackson Browne to liven up this party! I
wish I had a dollar for every time I played this one for a bar full of
addicts…when we get our radio
show…you’ll hear

Look at me now

Sharp as a tack

Cept for them Million Brain Cells

I wouldn’t mind having back

Cocaine…

Hey man – sign of the times. Too bad many of the old crowd is dead and gone.
I figured out early that Cocaine did some damage – to my sobriety. Nothing worse
than drinking a couple bottles of Crown, going out on the town, and having your
buzz ruined by a good line of blow and realizing  …FUCK….I’m sober now!
"can I have a shot or seven" No? Oh sorry – coke junkies (the
bartenders) have no pity on alcoholics…and the feeling ended up being mutual.
I helped out many and got nothing in return…not that we didn’t have fun 
back then – but…oh man. Hyatte should I tell this one? Why not, I’m talking
America!

Q: How does a small town white boy say hello to his best friend?

A: With a bat

One night, my wife and I are nicely tuned up – wine, whiskey and steak, when
into our house comes a 300 pound Black Man. Nothing to worry about, it’s Sheldon
(remember him?)…on the "pipe"…I knew he was f*cked up and we
handled it like men…until – yeah…f*cking prick took a swing and that was it
– beat that asshole silly with a Pete Rose autographed Baseball Bat. Not enough
to drawr blood…not like I need a crime scene in my life…but enough to subdue
him. I’m yelling at Desiree "Don’t Call the Cops…IT’S SHELDON". You
think he would learn his lesson…nope. He is in jail right now for other
things, but I still love him, just ain’t bailing him out. And made him go the
Public Defender route instead of putting my Redneck Jew Lawyer on the
case…which his why his Mama hates me. Still don’t understand
it, but I made a promise, and I’m keeping it. And that’s all I got to say about
race relations

We’ve got a couple of jerkoffs vying for Leader
of the Free World – John Kerry and the Incumbent
George W. Bush

Overview:

W – his father was….aw f*ck this…I’ve gone on long enough…bulletpoints

Bush: doing right, but no one realizes it. If he gets back in office some
heavy shit is going to go down. Which is what needs to be done. We should have
occupied the Middle East  in 1972….Bill Clinton sat on his ass while the
Middle East learned modern technology and grew hateful. But no one cared because
we were (some of us)
making money hand over fist and couldn’t care less if a Hillbilly from Arkansas got his dick sucked. Money!  And damn
straight. But his complacency led to
9/11…they bombed the Trade Center TWICE while he was in office, but Clinton’s
Mantra was "Let’s
Make a Deal". If that hick ever lived on the street he would have known to
whack those f*cks while we had good reason…which is what W is doing right
now….he is just doing it the hard way

The point of the whole Iraq War was 1) get Sadaam out of
power and 2) get a
U.S. stronghold in the Middle East. The problem is, America does not have the
stomach for what needs to be done – which is why no President has done it –
Nixon, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton…nope…we supported Iraq and had a big
part in putting Saddam in power – because we thought he would be our
"player"…f*cking A, he is worse than we ever dreamed of…Saddam
made Khomeini look like the Ugly Cheerleader you wouldn’t want to f*ck at a 10
year High School reunion. He (W) did the right thing, but played to nice 

There is no reason at all to fight a "ground war" these days. Hell,
in 1991, we had bombs – with CAMERAS! – that could take out a squire mile city
block and show it to you on CNN that night. Technology!

But now we have "embeds" ( not sure if that is
the right spelling and I don’t
care) and "troops"…the way I have always looked at it…and I was
raised this way in a military family: you join the Armed Forces, you are signing
your own Death Warrant to Your Country. No If’s, And, Or But’s. Uncle Sam tells
you to die…that your job. No different than a Policeman or Fireman. For some
reason…actually, for good reason – it’s tough for a Ma to watch her boy die –
but the soldiers these days are not dying in vain. Drafted is one thing – this
is a "volunteer" army. And some of you will bitch about how the ROTC
and the Reserves got Called up and Croaked. It’s W’s fault that a war happened
while they are escaping like rats off a ship while ME! the taxpayer PAYS!
for them to get College Grants for "doing time" in the
"service"? Nothing against that, but any of you that are on that
program no damn good and well that a financial default on ROTC is 10x less
painful that any kind of real world non-payment. And if you don’t, then you have
no right to cry the blues about Uncle Sam asking you to resume your duties.

What needed to be done in Iraq is only waiting for a W’s 2nd term – which is
sad, but it’s what is needed. Despite the fact that I’m about to make Eric S.
puke (if he ain’t already in the VanDaminator on his way here to cut my throat
and f*ck my wife – heh – you’re gonna have to kill the kid first, pal…she is
"warped" and knows the "list"…HA!)…this is getting out
of hand…

As a matter of fact, I can’t even get around to telling you why I personally
despise John Kerry, John Edwards, why George Bush somehow managed to fold with a
Royal Flush in his hand an important things like "the issues" this
evening…I think Part Two is in order. Be on the lookout…

Thanks for reading

FLEA

FLEA is an Inside Pulse Original in every sense of the word, from his unique style and viewpoint. You can send any feedback to ryderfakin@yahoo.com, or just type it the comment box below. also but follow FLEA on Twitter @ryderfakin.