There’s something about a lot of people in a life threatening situation that is just plain exciting.
I know. That’s nothing to be proud of. We are a nation of voyeurs, and nothing brings us to more voyeuristic glee than extreme life or death situations. That is why there are mini’s on the air like Category 6: Day of Destruction. You’d think that after a summer of hurricanes, earthquakes, forest fires, terrorist threats and volcanoes, we’d need a little time off from uncontrollable and destructive acts of God and man. Nope.
Disaster films are a way to appease the collective psycho social archetypical tendencies of a mass population. Enough of this sociological babble, let’s get to the movies.
The opening scene of Day of Destruction set a great tone. If you were expecting a new take on an established genre, well too bad, this is textbook disaster flick at it best. We start in the den of iniquities itself, Las Vegas. A land of sinners just ready to be smote by the hand of God and haven’t we learned that God’s fingers are made up of twisters. So, in our opening sequence a young, white guy with a sleazy edge to his persona just won a jackpot playing the slot machines. He leers at a young, provocatively dress women sitting on a stool next to him. Cut to a shot of a twister forming on the strip, beginning to start tossing away. Cut back to the young perv, now in his room, trying to steal a kiss from his new temporary paramour. She excuses herself to the bathroom to prepare fore the nights festivities. He walks over to a large glass window, and waits anxiously for his lady friend to appear. He looks out the window at the extreme weather…
Need we go any further. This guy is toast. In the alternate reality that is disaster land, this guy was as good as dead as soon as he propositioned the hooker. Fornicators don’t often survivor disasters unless they are racked with guilt. Or used to star in a failed sitcom. Unfortunately our Vegas buddy is not remorseful of his fornication and is nothing more than an unknown actor.
So, of course he gets sucked out the window to his death. Serves him right, the perv.
That’s the great thing about disaster flicks, no matter the cause of the calamity, it’s results are often the same. Fornicators will fly out windows, roads will be backed up caused by the public’s futile attempts to escape the destruction (as if a a Geo Storm could ever outrun a Meteor caused Tsunami) and somewhere, somehow a pregnant women will get stuck in an elevator. Count on it. So, if you happen to be pregnant, and the storm of the century is bearing down on you, I have a little tip for you — TAKE THE STAIRS!!!!
Oh, and that’s not all. Disasters films have certain things they must contain beyond the typical explosions, implosions, structural collapses and flying farm animals:
— An aged groundbreaking scientist who is well respected but whose methods are viewed as archaic.
— A young, pretty intern who discovers oncoming doom, yet no one will listen to her … except the aged expert who she worships.
— A central character whose family life is falling apart, until the oncoming disaster forces him to reexamine his priorities.
— A man who’s job puts him directly in the path of the disaster, and who has a pregnant wife and lives in a building with an elevator.
— A crazy, disgraced yet lovable former expert who now places himself in harms way for the thrills of the experience.
— Either incompetent or evil corporate executives or government officials whose decisions only exasperate the oncoming apocalypse.
— Some weird liberal bad science with extremely sped up results that implies that if we don’t change our ways we will be blown up, blown away or crashed into.
— An airliner in peril caused by the upcoming disturbance that is forced to make an emergency landing, or even worse, renders the pilots incapable of flying, so it’s up to an average Joe who gets upgraded from coach to the pilot’s seat.
— A tireless and whiny reporter who wants the big story but his/her boss wants her to focus on fluffy human interest stories.
— At least one former sitcom star from a show that you watched in junior high.
— And the newest machination of the late 90’s into the 21st century: Hackers.
The important thing with disaster films is to try to sandwich all these themes between shots of crash bang action scenes, horrific special effects and scenes of riotous bad human behavior. Then of course, comes the morality play. The themes of humanity rising above it’s enemy, whether it be their own mistakes or mother nature. This is the crux of any disaster film. There must be in it somewhere a story of redemption, of innocence lost than found again, of families torn apart and brought together, people cowering to the face of fear, and other overcoming their fears in heroic fashion.
Oh, and of course, new life. Usually brought to be inside an elevator.
In reality the disaster is a tool to learn about ourselves. While the world may be full of corrupt and even evil people, it is also full of heroes. Often times these heroes are not the typical American hero. A homeless man, a snotty teenager, a stuffy Wall Street type, an artistic slacker, or a blue collar Texan who has recently been laid off from the calculator factory. Often times, these are our heroes, and there story must be told.
As long as it doesn’t get in the way of some good explosions.
For the most part Part One of Category 6: Day of Destruction does a serviceable job. Typically, the TV offerings lean more towards bells and whistles and less towards character development. This isn’t that big of a deal, in my book. You got to like the characters, even cheer for them, and then they have to get out of the way. Yet, one of the problems so far with this show, if very few of the likable characters are truly in harms way. Yes, there is the pregnant women and her husband, but they are very minor characters. There is the family of our main star, Thomas Gibson AKA Greg, estranged but likable. And you know that Randy Quaid, the goofy storm chaser, will eventually get there, but for now he’s just finished his time with Japanese tourists chasing a twister. For the most part, those in danger of getting sucked to Oz are unknowns or unliked. So for now, were cheering for the storm to knock Greg on his Dharma-less ass and give Nancy McKeon the facts of life.
In order to enjoy films like Category 6 you must be able to suspend reality. If you are an expert meteorologist and are jazzed about the chance to see some good science, tune into the weather channel instead. Here are some easy assumptions that you can make when you sit down to these types of movies: The cause of the disaster will be absurd, the writers will be trying to make some point on how we caused or exasperated the situation using voodoo science, and the solution to the problem will be far fetched, impossible or, in reality, unsuccessful. Do not look at these movies as a How To guide to help you get through an upcoming disaster. These movies are strictly entertainment, if you try to use them to help you survivor an earthquake, extreme weather, asteroid collision or nuclear war, you will die. One thing you can learn by these movies though, and this one is for the ladies, if you are in a disaster type situation and just happen to be pregnant, avoid elevators at all costs.
As part of this story I was considering a top 10 list of made for TV disaster films. I decided instead of a top 10, I’d just give you a list of some that stand out to me in no particular order. Basically, a list of post apocalyptical, or disaster films, that stand out as excellent or just excellently cheesy.
Just one note. You will notice that this list fails to include true life events. I love these movies for the cheesiness. I love to yell out to the screen things like, “You are going to die, you fornicator” or “What are you a dope, Ms. Pregnant lady, stay out of the elevator.” While this is fun to yell at fictionalized character in a fictionalized situation, it loses some of the fun in the situations where you know real people really died and real lives were really destroyed. I had friends who were devastated by the Hurricanes in Florida, and they should know that they still are in my prayers.
So, back to the fun. Here is my list of must see disaster TV movies or mini-series listed down by type of calamity:
Seismological:
Aftershock: Earthquake in New York: Thanks to the TV mini-series we have earthquakes coast to coast. Our first stop is New York. Maybe because she was a gift from France, but no national monuments is seen in peril in disaster films more than Lady Liberty. Here she, along with Tom Skerritt, Sharron Lawrence, Lisa Nicole Carson and Cicely Tyson, must face the perils that shake, rattle and roll the city that never sleeps. A fun movie with lots of action, plus a bonus of a performance by Jennifer Garner before she became a super star.
10.5: Now we head over to the West Coast where scientist have been telling us the Big One will be coming and will be sinking California into the sea. Well we got sick of waiting for it so we made this movie instead. Although this movie received tons of critical snickering, it’s opening scene in Seattle with the destruction of the Space Needle was cool. This time, our ignored Scientist is a seismologist played by Dana Delaney and add to that some fun performances by Beau Bridges and Dule Hill. Though one thing always intrigues me, often times the solution to the problem in disaster films is blowing something up with a nuclear bomb. To bad that doesn’t work for stubborn household stains too.
Astronomical:
Asteroid: As that alarmist Chicken Little can attest to, one of the greatest fears of the collective humanity is that the sky is indeed falling, in the form of a huge rock from outerspace slamming into our little planet and ending the reign of humanity as it did with the dinosaurs a long time ago. In Asteroid Annabeth Sciorra and Michael Biehn will see to it that that won’t happen. One of the great things about Asteroid movies is you always have the precursor mini-asteroid strikes that only take out huge major cities, instead of the entire world. So, we get to see some of our favorite cities destroyed, but that’s OK because the world will be saved.
Meteorological:
Atomic Twister: If you are a sucker for technically accurate, well written, realistic disaster fare, then this movie is not for you. If you want like flawed movies with lots of things blowing around and the possibility of nuclear disaster, this is your ticket. Mark-Paul Goselaar, Sharon Lawrence, and Corbin Bernsen are the actors in-between projects desperate for work so the play characters in this TBS straight to cable yarn. Look for a small role by Carl Lewis as a security guard. Unfortunately, this is not yet available in DVD.
Night of the Twisters: There was actually a bit of a controversy surrounding this one. Was this a just a rip off of Twister? Well, yeas and no. Night of the Twister was based on a kids book from the eighties. This book was a loose retelling of a series of twisters in Nebraska in 1980. It also appeared on TV months before the release of Twister. Yet, it is obvious that it was rushed into production to capitalize on the hype that already surrounded the upcoming flick. Basically, its a low budget version of Twister, with some cool, yet corny special effects and a decent early performance by Devon Sawa. It may not blow you away but it is worth checking out. The book’s not bad either.
Tsunaminiacal (I’m pretty sure I made up that word):
Tidal Wave: No Esape. I included this one as an excellent example of crappy disaster fare, plus of course I wanted to use the word Tsunaminiacal. OK, now the characters were one dimensional, and the special effects sub par, but worst of all, there wasn’t enough action. This one got so bogged down in the plot and trying to make a mystery out of it that we went way to long between devastating Tidal Waves. Corbin Bernsen stars as a former weapons expert trying to get everyone to see that there is nothing natural about these Tidal Waves. Of course, no one wants to believe him until it’s too late. Can you really blame them though, it is Corbin Bernsen.
Nuclear
The Day After: In my opinion The Day After is the greatest Television movie of all time. It came out in 1983 at the height of the Cold War when I was in fourth grade. The movie was supposed to be so graphic and disturbing that our parents received a letter from the school that warning them of its context. This movie is sort of a slice of life look at Nuclear War. Not how it affects the whole world, but one community and specifically one family. The images of this movie were burnt into my mind for the rest of my life. This is a must see.
By Dawns Early Light: Sort of the opposite approach to The Day After, this is another cautionary tale about the possibility of a nuclear holocaust, but this picture focuses on the politicians and military men that must respond to the imminent threat and make decisions that may end the world as we know it. This HBO mini has some excellent perfomences by Martin Landau, Powers Booth, Rebecca DeMornay and James Earl Jones.
Feel free to send me you favorites too. I probably missed a ton of great ones.
