Reviewer: “Starman” Matt Morrison
Story Title: The Hero’s Life
Written by: Brad Meltzer
Penciled by: Rags Morales
Inked by: Michael Bair
Colored by: Alex Sinclair
Lettered by: Kenny Lopez
Editor: Mike Carling
Publisher: DC Comics
Be warned ahead of time. I shall pull no punches and spoilers will be spoken! So have you NOT read this issue of Identity Crisis yet and still do not already know the answer to the question that has rocked the Fandom community for the better part of a year, come no further!
It’s Nightwing!
What the! Tim, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be interrupting Mathan’s column?
Nah. I got bored. Thought I’d see if you got any angry letters from all Mark Millar’s fans for your column last week.
Well… you know it ISN’T Nightwing who did it.
Yes it is! It just has yet to be revealed that he did it.
This was the LAST issue, Tim. I think it’s pretty settled now.
That’s what they WANT you to think. All the twists they’ve had so far… all the spin offs they have coming out? You really think it’s over?
Yes. Yes I do.
You’re a fool.
What theâ?¦ Ben Morse?
Ben? You’re back?
Only for a bit. You see, I know I stopped being Matt’s editor, but I couldn’t help but come back to correct him one more time on this. You see, it isn’t Nightwing who killed Sue Dibny.
I know! It was-
It was the Rainbow Raider.
What?
That doesn’t make any sense! And isn’t the Rainbow Raider dead?
Yeah. I got this straight off the line from my super secret sources at Wizard Magazine (available at all fine comic shops and bookstores everywhere!).
Aren’t those the same guys who swore blind three months ago that it was the ghost of Jason Todd back from the dead after an interview with Judd Winick?
Lies! Lies and chicanery from all of you! It was Dick Grayson, I tells ya!
No, it was Norman Osborn. Because Norman Osborn does EVERYTHING!
What the- who the hell are you?
I’m Mark Millar, you sad little man!
Waaaaaaugh!
That was for your column last week.
Wow… are those steel-toed boots?
… mommy…
Wait a second! Norman Osborn couldn’t have done it! He’s not in the same universe!
Bah! You think such a thing is impossible for Norman Osborn? Inter-dimensional travel would be a piece of cake for the man who invented a time machine just so he could go back and pay Flash Thompson to short-sheet Peter Parker’s bed at summer-camp!
… that never… GAAUUUGH!
Quiet, you.
Actually, you’re all wrong.
Who’s this twit?
Jesse Baker. The other Comics Nexus loudmouth.
That’s right! And here in this sack, I have captured the REAL culprit behind all our problems!
What the- it’s Old Man Winters, who runs the haunted amusement park!
No! That’s what they wanted us to think! Pull off the mask, and it’s none other than-
Brian Michael Bendis?!?!
And I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for Jesse Baker and his magical talking dogs!
… so weak…
