With the holiday season in full force and New Yea’s just around the corner I’d like to take time to express my favourite holiday experiences and my New Yea’s resolutions. Don’t worry these all are tied to television in one way shape or form.
The things I need to keep me sane during the holiday season.
Ben-Hur. I love this movie, even if it is very long. The chariot race is stupendous. It is my own personal tradition to spend the three and a half hours to watch this movie every holiday season.
A Christmas Story. My favourite holiday movie bar none. It is timeless. If you need more convincing you aren’t going to get it here. Just watch it. Thank you TBS for putting it on 24 hours in a row.
World Junior Hockey Championship. This is a tradition for pretty much every Canadian household. This tournament features some of the best hockey you will ever witness. It features future stars and guys who will dominate this tournament and never see pro success. These kids play for pride not money. For the Americans out there this year you are the defending champions and the host nation. ESPN is featuring several games. Watch them even if you aren’t a big hockey fan.
College Bowl Games. This is another sports holiday tradition however in this case I am probably one of the few Canadians who cares about it. Ever since I was a young kid I have loved college football. I can’t explain it. While the bowl season is marred with controversy and calls for a playoff and the players/coaches/universities are controlled more by money now then love for the game there are always a few really good games. What better way to work off a hangover then sitting down and watching some football?
Now for my New Yea’s resolutions. Oh do not worry I am not going to tell you how I am going to go on a diet and exercise more, even though I should probably do both, I am going to tell the networks what THEIR New Yea’s resolutions should be.
ABC
Well, well, well. I never thought I would say this but Good Work on 2004. Ok that is based solely on two new television shows, Lost and Desperate Housewives. So here is what your network should do in 2005 to keep things going well.
First off leave both of your two new superstar shows alone. Let the people running those shows have as much leeway as they ask for.
Be patient with Life As We Know It. Even if no one else is watching this show I am. It is not prefect and could use some tweaking but it has some good potential.
On the comedy side I would LOVE it if you could find one good show that pushes the boundaries and is actually funny. (aka Arrested Development)
Killing According to Jim would be a good start to fixing your comedy line up.
Stop trying to base shows around comedians or washed up stars. A good comedy show needs first and foremost good writing. If ABC is able to do get one or two decent comedies they may become my favourite regular network.
CBS
This network has managed to develop the two best reality shows on television, Survivor and The Amazing Race. The only thing I would like to fix about Survivor is for it to stop casting wannabe actors. Cast real people and let them REALLY survive. I liked the early Survivo’s where people actually had to worry about food and starving. In this past version that did not seem to be a concern at all.
No more CSIs. I know this is a hugely popular franchise but it is too much already.
Enough already with the reality shows. I know that you have had success with them and I have no doubt the public will act like lemmings and probably fall in love with one or two of your new reality shows but I don’t care. Your new shows Wickedly Perfect and The Will may end up being a success but if your focus is on these shows you miss developing the next great drama.
Oh and while you are at it get a few good comedies that are the total opposite of Everybody hates..err Loves Raymond.
NBC
Good old NBC. When I was a young lad you were the only network to watch. Must See TV really was must see. What has happened? It truly is scary when Fear Factor is one of your better known shows.
First off put Scrubs in a decent time slot and actually advertise it. This is probably the best show now one has heard of. Sadly even fans like myself forget to watch it because it is buried on your schedule.
No more Dateline NBC. I know it is cheap programming but it is also cheap in the other way. Oh and don’t forget about how Dateline violated its journalistic integrity (if it ever had any) by faking results for a crash test survey. This show will never be 60 Minutes or heck even 20/20. Give up and start from scratch if you really want to get that type of show.
What happened to all those great comedies NBC was known for? Scrubs and Will & Grace are all that are left. I have not watched Joey and from what I have heard I am not missing much. Do what you did better then any other network in the past 15 years and pump out some more Seinfelds, Cheers, Frasiers etc”¦
Lastly if The Apprentice 3 is unable to improve on the second season cut your losses and don’t push for a fourth version. Even if the ratings are good now they will keep getting worse if The Donald is unable to improve things. Get out before this show becomes a joke.
FOX
I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Fox. I remember watching FOX when it was a fledgling network that only had two or three nights of programming. I actually saw The Simpsons when they were on the Tracy Ullman Show and got on the Married with Children bandwagon from day one. However that does not mean they are exempt from my attacks.
Stop stealing from other networks. The Next Great Champ, Trading Spouses were both stolen from other networks. My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss was just a parody of The Apprentice. No more quick fixes. Actual develop a good idea and stick with it.
To get respect and not be seen as “the old Fox” it should give up on stuff like Totally Outrageous Behaviour and World’s Craziest Videos.
To get some long-term success it has to develop dramas with producers who have past success. Focus should be on writing and production values of the drama. House M.D., while it may not be ratings giant. is a good step in that direction.
DO NOT KILL Family Guy by moving it around all the time. If Fox messes around with Family Guy again I will personally start a revolution against the programmers at Fox.
Lastly I think Fox needs to seriously look at adding 10 p.m. programming. This may take a lot of new deals with its affiliates but it would allow it to build a stronger line-up of dramas.
UPN
I will admit that I know very little about this network. I don’t even know what channel it is on my television.
I have heard that the new show Veronica Mars is a decent show. If it is good then keep up the work. Develop some more decent quirky dramas that the other networks would not give a chance on.
Push the boundaries. While you may not have the freedom of an HBO or some of the other cable networks being so small can have its advantages. You can take risks and push the boundaries to see what you can get away with. Fox did this successfully when it was starting up.
Move Star Trek: Enterprise away from Friday night. Ok I admit it. I am a Trekie. I even got into this latest version. However I am not geeky enough to watch it on a Friday night. I have missed about half of this years episodes because yes at times I do have a life and plans on Friday night. UPN is killing this show by putting it on Friday night.
The WB
Unlike UPN I actually watch several shows on this network. As some of you may know I do reviews for Everwood, which sadly seems to be dying a slow death. I also regularly watch Jack & Bobby which is quite a good show. I used to watch Gilmore Girls and Smallville, which each have their own charms even though Gilmore Girls has been awful ever since Rory went to Yale.
It is time to end a few of your shows that have been moderate successes. Mainly Gilmore Girls and Seventh Heaven. If Everwood cannot improve it should be on the chopping block too.
One of my guilty pleasures is High School Reunion. Keep that show going.
Develop some dramas that are aimed at people over 30. I know you have been successful at getting the youth market but it is about time for you to grow up.
Get some Saturday programming. No network has any decent shows on Saturday night so fill the void. Oh and while you are at it stop those days where you show reruns of all your big shows. All it says to me is, “We don’t have enough shows to fill out schedule so we just keep showing the same stuff.”
Finally fix your website. It sucks bag. I know this is not a huge priority but it can be easily improved to give more information about your shows that is not outdated.
That is all I have for now. If anyone has any resolutions of their own they would like to express feel free to comment below or email me at romo@4sternstaging.com
